Skip to main content

Full text of "The porcelain tower, or, Nine stories of China"

See other formats 


%is<ii^>^ 


3  1735  060  217  449 


UNIVERSITY  OF   PITTSBURGH 

Dar. 

PR5349 
S286 


Darlington  Atemorial  Litrary 


T-'ki'/d. 


5^.^  .:^x^  ,,W^^j^  ^.^  //^c^% 


o////iS'^/^/2^ . 


LIFE    IN   CHINA. 


PORCELAIN  TOWER ; 


OR, 

NINE  STORIES  OP  CHINA. 

COMPILED 

FROM  ORIGINAL  SOURCES. 
By  "  T.  T.  T." 


To  raise  a  tower  your  arts  apply, 
And  build  it  thrice  three  stories  high; 
Make  every  story  rich  and  fair 
With  blocks  of  wood,  in  carvinga  rare  ; 
With  such  its  ruder  form  conceal. 
And  make  it  strong  with  plates  of  steel. 

From  the  Song  of  the  Pagoda,  Jy— SheLorh. 


EMBELLISHED  BY  J.  LEECH. 
PHILADELPHIA: 

LEA  AND  BLANCHARD. 

1842. 


5 


^' 


^ 


TO 

HIS  FRIENDS  IN  GENERAL, 

AND  TO 

THE   PUBLIC  IN  PARTICULAR, 

THE  ACCOMPANYING  SPECIMENS  OF 
REAL  CHINA 

ARE  RESPECTFULLY  PRESENTED, 

BY    THEIR   MOST   OBSEQUIOUS   SERVANT 

THE  MANUFACTURER, 

WHO  TAKES  THIS  OPPORTUNITY  OF  INFORMING  ALL  PARTIES, 

(and  PARTICULARLY  SMALL  TEA-PARTIES,) 

THAT   HIS    "services" 

ARE  ALWAYS  AT  THEIR  COMMAND. 


LIST  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS. 


Fum-Fum  and  Fee-Fee  before  the  Em- 
peror,      Frontispiece. 

Ho-Fi  caught  in  his  own  trap,      -  page  8'2 

Din-Din  suspended  in  his  office,  ^  -  57 

Hyson  flailed  by  his  father,           )  -  112 

Si-Long's  arrival  at  the  Philosopher's,  124 

Faw-Faw  and  Fee-Fee  united,     ')  -  233 

Fum-Fum  smoking  his  own  tail,  )  -  260 

Hey-Ho  discovers  Fun,     "     '       )  "  ^^^ 

Fun  lowered  from  the  window,     )       -     2S5 
1^ 


CONTENTS. 


Page 
Invocation,  ,  .  ,  .  viii 

Preface,  .....  x 

THE  FIRST  STORY. 
Ho-Fi  of  the  Yellow  Girdle,  .  .  13 

THE  SECOND  STORY. 
Kublai  Khan ;  or  The  Siege  of  Kinsai,  .         60 

THE  THIRD  STORY. 
Fashions  in  Feet;  or  the  Tale  of  the  Beautiful  To-To  86 

THE  FOURTH  STORY. 
Hyson  and  Bohea,     .  .  .  .  107 

THE  FIFTH  STORY. 
The  Porcelain  Bath,       ,  ,  ,  .119 

THE  SIXTH  STORY. 

The  Emperor  Hwang-te;  or  the  Plough  and  the  Loom  163 

THE  SEVENTH  STORY. 
Marriage  in  a  Mask;  or  the  Cunning  Shaver,  Chin,    185 

THE  EIGHTH  STORY. 
The  Student  of  Hanlan ;  a  Tale  of  Opium-Smoking  229 

THE  NINTH  STORY. 

The  Feast  of  Lanterns,  ,  ,  .  262 

Notes,  .  .  .  .  .307 


INVOCATION 
TO  THE  MUSE  OF  TEA. 


Muse  of  the  Central  Land,  whose  soothmg  power 

Celestial  bards  drink  in  at  twilight's  hour; 

Who,  cheerful  promptress  of  discourse  and  smiles, 

Deign'st  even  to  dwell  in  these  barbarian  isles, 

A  household  spirit  still  at  hand  to  serve  us, 

And  make  our  poets  warm,  our  prosemen  nervous; 

Thou  from  thine  oft-filled  urn  who  dost  deliver 

A  stream  more  potent  than  Castalia's  river. 

And  even,  great  Muse  of  Tea!  canst  strength  impart 

To  milk  and  water;— hear,  where'er  thou  art! 

Perchance  even  now  in  this  my  seventh  good  cup; 

Ah!  if  it  be  so,  let  me  stir  thee  up. 

Oh!  let  me  not  thine  aid  in  vain  require! 

Inspire  thou  me,  whilst  I  thy  breath  inspire. 

List  to  my  prayer,  and  let  me  be  possess'd 

Of  rich  "  outpourings"  strained  from  thy  full  chest; 

Brace,  if  thou  canst,  my  strings,  and  give  them  tone, 

And  fill  my  leaves  with  virtues  like  thine  own. 


PREFACE. 


Recent  events  have  directed  towards  the  Chinese 
a  degree  of  inquiry,  which,  however  strange  it  may 
be  that  we  should  have  been  wanting  in  attention  to 
the  politest  of  all  people,  they  never  before  excited 
among  the  dwellers  in  the  West.  Few,  except  those 
engaged  in  the  China  trade,  had  troubled  themselves 
to  learn  much  beyond  what  was  instilled  into  them 
at  school  from  the  pages  of  Goldsmith  and  Guy,  con- 
cerning the  Celestial  Land  and  its  no  less  celestial 
inhabitants,  when  the  startling  fact  of  a  war  break- 
ing out, — a  war  which  might  probably  involve  thq 
ruin  and  death  of  some  thousands  of  our  own  country- 
men, and  of  some  hundreds  of  thousands  of  our 
brethren  in  the  East,  and  still  more  the  rise  in  the 
price  of  tea, — excited  a  sudden  and  general  anxiety 
to  know  something  of  the  character  and  resources 
of  the  four  hundred  millions  whom  we  had  sent  our 
two  cock-boats  and  a  walnut-shell  to  conquer. 

Demand  always  produces  supply;  this,  at  least. 


PREFACE. 


though  denied  by  some, — mendicants,  creditors,  and 
rakish  young  gentleman, — who  have  brought  it  to 
the  test  of  the  JVovmn  Organon,  is  a  favourite  axiom 
with  many  of  our  poUtical  economists:  and  au- 
thentic works,  giving  detailed  accounts  of  the  coun- 
try and  its  peculiar  people,  have  lately  been  poured 
in  upon  us  until  the  booksellers'  houses  are  almost 
converted  into  China  shops.  Many  of  the  tomes 
which  have  thus  been  carted  into  the  literary  market 
are  very  excellent  library  volumes;  but  furniture 
which  is  adapted  for  the  study,  is,  for  the  most  part, 
too  heavy  for  the  drawing-room  or  boudoir. 

We  were  sorry  to  observe  that  so  excellent  and 
well-bred  a  people  as  our  Chinese,  if  not  excluded 
from,  were  at  least  little  regarded  in  those  apartments 
into  which  the  Chinese  only  could  convey  additional 
refinements;  and  the  belief  that  this  resulted  chiefly 
from  the  gravity  of  the  attire  in  which  they  have 
usually  appeared  in  this  country,  was  our  induce- 
ment to  try  the  experiment  of  presenting  them  in  a 
livelier  dress. 

The  dress,  however,  in  which  they  are  here  pre- 
sented, though  the  colours  are  lively  and  the  fabrics 
light,  arc  made  up  exclusively,  as  will  be  perceived, 
of  real  Chinese  materials.  We  will  confess  that  it 
was  at  first  our  intention  to  assume  the  credit  of  the 


PREFACE.  XI 

entire  fabrication ;  but  we  feared  that  King's  Col- 
lege* might  detect  us ;  and  we  have  deemed  it  po- 
litic, therefore,  to  acknowledge  our  obligations  to 
the  Celestial  writers,  and  in  all  other  particulars  to 
adhere  strictly  to  truth. 

We  would  have  it  understood,  then,  that  the  fol- 
lowing stories  have  been  compiled  from  various 
original  sources;  and  though,  consistently  with  our 
purpose,  now  abandoned,  of  making  over  to  our- 
selves the  fee-simple  of  this  literary  property,  we 
have  altered  the  style,  that  the  Chinese  authors 
might  not  be  detected  thereby, — we  have  neverthe- 
less, scrupulously  adhered  to  the  course  of  the  nar- 
ratives, to  the  characters  of  the  agents,  and  to  what- 
ever might  be  essential  for  conveying  just  notions  of 
the  manners  and  customs,  and  minds  of  our  brethren 
in  the  pigtailed  East. 

The  title  of  the  volume  is  adopted  from  a  work, 
nearly  similar  in  plan,  by  Klam-Klae;  but  the  title 
is  all  we  have  borrowed  from  that  writer,  as  we  did 
not  find  his  stories  worth  the  labour  of  translation. 

It  may  be  as  well  to  observe  here,  that  the  pago- 
das in  China  are  either  of  seven  or  nine  stories  in 
height,  and  that  the  celebrated  Porcelain  Tower,  of 
Nanking  consists  of  Nine  Stories. 

*  There  is  a  Professor  of  Chinese  at  Kinii's  College. 


THE    PORCELAIN    TOWER. 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.* 


O  wretch,  tliat  with  malignant  fang, 
Woulds't  seek  t'inflict  some  mortal  pang; 
Bethink  thee  well  how  bowstrings  twang, 
How  swords  do  smite  and  hemp  doth  hang  I 

Slang. 

More  graceful  than  the  bamboo,  and  fairer 
than  rice,  was  So-Sli,  the  daughter  of  the 
philosopher    Poo-Poo.      Her    foot  was    no 

*  The  story  of  Ho-Fi  is  selected  from  among  the  romances  of 
the  well-known  Hou-de-Kaw-Lim  ;  a  writer  as  prolific  and  various 
as  our  own  Anon.  He  resembles  that  writer,  too,  in  the  ill  for- 
tune which  has  militated  against  his  obtaining  the  fame  due  to 
his  genius  and  industry,  from  the  authorship  of  all  his  inost 
excellent  works  having  been  uniformly  claimed  by  unprincipled 
and  shameless  persons,  who  have  succeeded  in  tearing  the  bam- 
boo-sprigs from  his  brows.  He  is  still  living,  though  arrived  at  a 
patriarchal  age.  No  library  can  be  considered  complete  without 
a  collected  edition  of  his  works. 

2 


14  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

longer  than  her  finger,  so  that  when  she 
walked  she  tottered  in  the  most  engaging 
manner,  and  was  obliged  to  seek  the  support 
of  a  reed  or  of  a  hand-maiden.*  So  light 
was  her  form,  and  so  lovely  was  her  face, 
and  so  helpless  was  her  air,  that  when  she 
appeared  abroad  she  attracted  the  notice  of 
all,  as  a  straw  which  a  juggler  of  Shanghi 
balances  on  the  tip  of  his  nose.  Her  brows 
were  arched  like  the  feathers  in  the  tail  of 
the  domestic  bird  of  the  river ;  her  eyes  were 
smaller  than  the  kernels  of  the  almond,  and 
were  free  from  the  disfigurement  of  lashes ; 
her  hair  was  like  a  cobweb  of  the  black 
spiders  of  Chen-si ;  her  nose  was  small,  and 
beautifully  flat ;  her  lips  w^ere  as  two  large 
pink  caterpillars  which  the  cooks  of  Pecheli 
have  prepared  in  the  banquet  for  the  Son  of 
Heaven.  The  fame  of  her  loveliness  had 
spread  throughout  the  province  Kiang-Si, 
and  many  a  manly  spirit  yearned  towards 
her,  even  upon  the  report  of  her  beauty. 

*  See  note,  A, 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  15 

Many  were  the  solicitations  made  to  her 
father  for  the  hand  of  the  lovely  So-Sli ;  and 
he  mischt  have  married  her  to  mandarins, 
both  civil  and  military,  as  many  as  he  pleased. 
But  old  Poo-Poo  was  a  sage  and  a  philan- 
thropist, and  had  devoted  himself  much  to 
the  investigation  of  causes  of  human  happi- 
ness and  misery,  and  had  determined  that 
marriage  might  be  highly  conducive  to  one 
or  to  the  other,  according  as  it  should  be,  or 
should  not  be,  conducted  upon  scientific 
principles.  Of  the  scientific  principles  upon 
which  marriaore  should  be  conducted,  he  had 
formed  a  theory  of  his  own ;  and  it  had  been 
a  source  of  the  deepest  regret  to  him  that 
he  had  not  devised  his  theory  until  after  his 
own  marriage. 

However,  as  his  wife  was  now  dead,  that 
had  become  a  matter  of  comparatively  little 
importance.  He  determined  that  his  daugh- 
ter should  have  the  full  benefit  to  be  derived 
from  his  idea ;  and,  for  a  Chinese,  it  must 
be   conceded  that  his   principles   exhibited 


16  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

much  liberality  of  feeling.  This  was  parti- 
cularly evinced  in  one  of  his  theorems ;  a 
theorem  which,  however,  appeared  in  the 
eyes  of  his  countrymen  so  extraordinary,  that, 
but  for  some  charitable  doubts  which  were 
entertained  as  to  his  sanity,  it  would  proba- 
bly have  brought  down  upon  him  the  heavy 
displeasure  of  the  government. 

He  was  the  first  of  the  celestial  people  who 
had  ever  questioned  or  doubted  the  propriety 
of  a  marriage  between  persons  who  had  had 
no  previous  acquaintance  with  each  other. 
He  was  rash  enough  to  start  and  maintain 
this  opinion ;  and  farther  more,  he  considered 
that  a  certain  somewhat  of  congeniality 
should  subsist  between,  and  be  discovered 
by,  the  parties,  before  they  should  proceed  to 
bind  themselves  indissolubly  together.  He 
determined,  therefore,  not  only  that  his 
dauofhter  should  see  her  future  lord  before 
she  became  a  wife,  but — such  was  the  pecu- 
liar tenderness  of  his  paternal  affection,  and 
so  far  had  the  heresy  of  innovation  possessed 


IIO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  17 

him, — that  she  should  not  be  made  over  to 
any  person  towards  whom  she  manifested  a 
decided  dislike. 

Two  great  mandarins,  Hang-Yu  and  Yii- 
be-Hung,  and  a  certain  rich  merchant.  Tin. 
had  sent  costly  presents  to  her  father;  and 
the  eloquent  Tung,  a  graduate  of  the  college 
of  Hanlan,*  had  composed  ten  volumes  of 
moral  sentences  in  praise  of  the  beauty  of 
So-Sli;  but  though  he  perused  the  books, 
and  graciously  accepted  the  presents,  Poo- 
Poo  rejected  these  applicants,  who  lived  too 
far  off  to  make  their  addresses  in  person.  It 
fared  no  better  with  many  of  various  rank, 
— manufacturers,  and  proprietors  of  rice- 
grounds,  silk-feeders,  barge-owners,  and  offi- 
cers, civil  and  military,  who,  dwelling  in  the 
neighbourhood,  had  opportunities  of  seeing 
and  of  being  looked  upon  by  the  lovely  eyes 
of  So-Sli.  She  had  expressed  herself  as 
being  by  no  means  averse  to  Tung  or  to  Tin. 
to  Hang-Yu  or  Yu-be-Hung :  but  these  she 

See  note,  B. 
2* 


18  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

had  never  seen.  Those  whom  she  saw  found 
no  favour  in  her  sight.  One  was  too  tall, 
another  was  too  short ;  a  third  was  too  fat,  a 
fourth  too  thin;  this  too  gay,  and  that  too 
serious;  Tin-a-ting's  voice  was  too  gentle, 
Ding-Dong's  was  too  loud  ;  one  was  too  fond 
of  sweet  potato — and  sweet  potato  she  dis- 
liked :  another  not  sufficiently  partial  to  dog, 
and  dog  was  her  favourite  dish.  In  fact,  So- 
Sii  was  by  no  means  easy  to  please. 

Here  we  may  pause  to  remark,  that  the 
multiplicity  of  presents  which  for  a  long  time 
poured  in  upon  Poo-Poo,  were  well  nigh 
procuring  converts  to  his  system  among  old 
gentlemen  who  had  marriageable  daughters ; 
but  at  last  suitors  grew  chary  of  their  pre- 
sents, and  withheld  them  till  an  interview 
with  the  young  lady  should  have  sealed 
their  fortune. 

In  the  town  in  which  dwelt  Poo-Poo  and 
his  lovely  daughter,  So-Sli,  there  resided  a 
young  man  who  boasted  his  relationship  to 
the  imperial  family,  being  in  fact  a  descen- 
dant from  an  emperor  who   had  occupied 


IIO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  19 

the  throne  about  a  hundred  and  fifty  years 
before. 

The  Emperor  of  China  looks  with  com- 
mendable affection  upon  all  his  poor  rela- 
tions, of  whom  he  keeps  an  inventory  of 
about  ten  thousand  ;  and,  according  to  their 
several  degrees  of  affinity,  he  allots  to  all,  by 
a  graduated  scale,  certain  annual  stipends^ 
and  permits  them  to  wear  some  badge  by 
which  they  may  be  distinguished  as  being 
of  his  kin.  This  badge,  whether  cloak,  or 
shawl,  or  belt,  or  cap,  is  of  the  imperial 
colour,  yellow ;  and  in  the  particular  instance 
of  Ho-Fi,  the  young  man  of  whom  we  speak, 
was  a  silken  girdle,  whence  he  was  known 
throughout  that  neighbourhood  as  Ho-Fi  of 
the  Yellow  Girdle.  He  farthermore  enjoyed 
an  allowance  of  three  dollars  and  two  sacks 
of  rice  per  month. 

Being  thus  a  cousin,  though  a  distant  one 
of  the  son  of  Heaven,  he  would  have  con- 
ceived it  much  beneath  his  dignity  to  have 
followed  for  his  livelihood  any  profession  or 
trade ;  and  as  he  had  desires  and  ambition  to 


20  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

which  his  means  were  quite  inadequate,  he 
was  driven  to  curious  shifts  at  times,  in  the 
vulgar  words  of  the  west,  to  procure  salt  for 
his  porridge,  or  indeed  porridge  for  his  salt. 

Ho-Fi  heard  all  the  tongues  in  the  neigh- 
bourhood eloquent  in  praise  of  the  beauty  of 
So-Sli ;  but  he  heard  them  likewise  no  less' 
voluble  in  condemnation  of  her  whimsicality 
and  waywardness.  Fresh  stories  were  every 
day  told  of  her  rejection  of  some  meritorious 
suitor ;  and  as  none  seemed  likely  to  prove 
altogether  agreeable  to  her  very  fastidious 
taste,  those  who  would  have  been  glad  to 
obtain  such  a  prize  became  shy  of  advancing 
their  claims.  But  Ho-Fi,  with  less  intrinsic 
worth  than  many,  was  not  of  a  character  to 
be  daunted  by  the  fear  of  the  negotiation 
proving  unsatisfactory,  and  he  resolved  to 
enlist  himself  as  one  of  the  competitors  for 
the  hand  of  So-Sli. 

Ho-Fi,  though  quite  a  young  man,  had 
already  been  six  times  married ;  and  on  every 
occasion  had  had  the  misfortune  to  lose  his 
wife  within  a  few  weeks  after  their  union. 


IIO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  21 

As  seven  is  accounted  a  particularly  fortu- 
nate number,  it  is  not  to  be  wondered  at  that 
he  was  desirous  to  adventure  once  more. 
His  six  dear  wives  were  all  laid  on  the  shelf 
together,  and  he  wanted  one  other,  in  order 
"  to  make  up  a  set." 

Ho-Fi  rejoiced  in  many  advantages,  which 
had  already  several  times  stood  him  in  good 
stead  in  circumstances  somewhat  similar  to 
those  in  which  he  was  about  to  exert  his 
tactics.  He  was  possessed  of  what  his  lovely 
countrywomen  were  prone  to  consider  a 
handsome  person.  His  finger-nails,  by  vir- 
tue of  well-contrived  splints,  he  managed  to 
maintain  an  inch  and  a  half  in  length ;  he 
was  quite  free  from  whiskers  or  beard ;  and 
his  head  was  always  kept  cleanly  shaven, 
except  the  usual  tuft  at  the  crown,  which,  of 
peculiar  blackness  and  strength,  and  neatly 
tied  up  with  silk,  depended  down  his  back 
almost  to  the  bend  of  his  knee.  He  was 
particular,  moreover,  in  his  dress ;  and  as  it 
was  well  known  that  his  funds  were  of  the 
most  limited,  it  w^as  a  matter  of  surprise 


22  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

among  his  neighbours  how  he  became  pos- 
sessed of  so  very  respectable  a  wardrobe. 
And  if  this  was  a  mystery  to  them,  what 
wonder  that  I,  a  stranger  and  barbarian,  am 
quite  imable  to  explain  it?  I  leave  it  to 
your  conjectures,  and  I  feel  sure  that  there 
are  some  among  my  countrymen  to  whom  a 
solution  will  be  intuitively  easy.  Person 
and  dress,  it  will  be  admitted,  serve  as  two 
powerful  talismans  in  such  adventures  as 
that  upon  which  he  was  going  to  set  forth ; 
but  he  was  possessed  of  other  advantages 
incalculably  more  important.  These  were, 
a  limitless  assurance,  and  that  determined 
perseverance,  which,  disregarding  repulses, 
returns  again  and  again  to  the  charge ;  or 
which  in  simpler  phrase,  "  will  not  take  no 
for  an  answer."  To  these  may  be  added  an 
adaptability  of  disposition,  which  could  fall 
in  with  the  humours  of  all  parties,  and  a 
readiness  in  discovering  the  weak  points  of 
the  enemy,  and  directing  an  attack  accord- 
ingly. 
"  'Tis  but  venturing,"  said  Ho-Fi ;  "  and 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  23 

if  I  fail,  I  will  not  iiang  myself  up  by  my  pig- 
tail like  a  Boo-Bee,  nor  run  myself  through 
with  a  thumb-nail  like  a  Ni-Ni."  Boo-Bee 
and  Ni-Ni  were  two  celebrated  Werters  of 
China. 

His  design  thus  formed,  he  set  systemati- 
cally to  work  to  carry  it  into  effect ;  and  began 
by  picking  acquaintance  with  the  philosopher 
Poo-Poo.  Observing  that  venerable  person 
cheapening  the  hind-quarter  of  a  prize  pole- 
cat in  the  meat-market,  with  his  usual  ease 
and  address  he  managed  to  fall  into  conver- 
sation with  him ;  and  by  a  little  banter,  from 
time  to  time  agreeably  directed  to  the  butch- 
er, soon  obtained  for  the  philosopher  that 
abatement  in  the  price  of  the  tempting  mor- 
sel for  which  Poo-Poo  himself  might  pro- 
bably in  vain  have  striven.  Having  de- 
clared his  own  predilection  for  polecat,  and 
particularly  for  the  hind  quarter,  he  led  the 
discourse  by  easy  gradations  from  polecats 
to  weasels,  from  weasels  to  rats,  from  rats  to 
dogs,  from  dogs  to  pigs,  from  pigs  to  his  fair 
countrywomen,    and    so  to   the    celebrated 


24  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

beauty  So-Sli,  the  daughter  of  the  sage  Poo- 
Poo.  Of  the  philosopher  himself  he  ex- 
pressed great  admiration,  and  regretted  that 
he  was  not  so  fortunate  as  to  enjoy  his  ac- 
quaintance, nay,  that  he  did  not  even  so  much 
as  know  him  by  sight.  Poo-Poo  was  a  lover 
of  wisdom — but  what  philosopher  was  ever 
yet  proof  against  adulation?  or  would  not 
feel  gratified  at  over-hearing  his  own  praises 
in  cases  like  the  present,  where  they  could 
not  be  intended  as  flattery?  Ho-Fi  had  al- 
ready secured  himself  a  high  place  in  the 
philosophical  estimation  of  Poo-Poo. 

It  will  readily  be  supposed  that  Poo- Poo 
was  not  anxious  to  turn  the  conversation  out 
of  the  channel  into  which  it  had  thus  acci- 
dentally flowed;  and  he  sounded  his  new 
friend's  opinions  on  the  subject  of  his  pet 
matrimonial  theory.  This  Ho-Fi  of  course 
applauded  "to  the  very  echo," — by  which 
expression  is  intended  that  his  words  were 
mere  mockery,  vox  et  prceterea  nihil. 

"  Were  you  to  ask  me,"  said  he,  "  who  is 
the  greatest  of  ancient  or  modern  sages,  I 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  25 

should  answer,  Poo-Poo.  Were  you  to  ask 
me  who,  of  all,  has  advanced  a  theory  most 
likely  to  be  extensively  beneficial  to  the  hu- 
man race,  I  should  answer,  Poo-Poo.  Were 
you  to  ask  me  for  a  word  synonymous  with 
philosophy,  I  should  answ^er,  Poo-Poo.  Nor 
do  I  doubt  but  that  the  day  will  come  when 
the  wisdom  of  Poo-Poo  will  be  universally 
admitted,  and  his  name  be  adduced  as  a  con- 
clusive settlement  of  all  disputed  questions ; 
when,  if  any  one  shall  be  asked  his  reason, 
he  will  answer,  Poo-Poo;  if  he  be  asked  his 
authority,  he  will  answer,  Poo-Poo;  when 
criticism  will  be  condensed  in  those  two  syl- 
lables, Poo-Poo;  and  when  those  same  two 
syllables  Poo-Poo  will  suffice  to  upset  cri- 
ticism ;  in  short,  when  he  that  speaks  Poo- 
Poo  the  loudest  will  be  the  best  logician,  and 
when  all  discussion  wall  be  but  a  matter  of 
Poo-Poo." 

That  day  Ho-Fi  dined  with  Poo-Poo  on 
the  hind  quarter  of  the  prize  polecat. 

The  morsel  was  small,  but  it  was  choice. 

Having  so  soon  and  so  easily  insinuated 
3 


26  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

himself  into  the  good  graces  of  the  father,  he 
next  sought  an  opportunity  of  winning  his 
way  into  those  of  the  daughter.  He  boldly 
expressed  his  desire  to  Poo-Poo;  and  a  day 
was  settled  upon  which  he  should  be  form- 
ally introduced  to  her, — a  ceremony  not  to 
be  conducted  with  too  great  precipitation. 
In  the  interval  he  was  careful  to  collect  all 
information  regarding  the  whims  and  preju- 
dices of  the  lovely  So-Sli. 

He  came,  he  saw,  he  conquered;  or  we 
should  rather  write,  he  came,  she  saw,  he 
conquered.  His  attire  was  studiously  ele- 
gant, and  he  had  selected  such  colours  as  he 
had  found,  from  the  report  of  some  of  her 
acquaintance,  were  the  most  agreeable  to 
her.  His  beautifully  embroidered  ^petticoat 
of  crimson  silk  was  well  calculated  to  take 
the  feminine  fancy ;  his  shawl  might  have 
won  the  heart  even  of  an  English  lady ;  his 
cap  he  had  procured  from  one  of  the  most 
eminent  modistes  of  Pekin ;  and  the  tippet, 
which  formed  part  of  outdoor  dress,  was  of 
the  most  costly  fur.     His  long  black  hair 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  27 

was  carefully  plaited,  and  hung  far  down 
his  back ;  he  wore  a  necklace  of  pearls,  much 
coveted  by  his  young  competitors  in  fashion ; 
his  scent-bottle  was  replenished  with  the 
choicest  essence  ;  and  he  carried  a  valuable 
fan,  which  he  fluttered  with  peculiar  grace. 

This  attention  to  externals  produced  at 
once  a  favourable  impression  upon  So-Sli, 
who  was  herself  particular  in  her  attire. 
She  usually  wore  a  long  frock-coat  of  blue 
or  green  cloth  over  a  pink  waistcoat,  and  her 
trowsers  were  always  of  the  newest  cut.  She 
went  to  considerable  expense  to  procure  the 
most  elegant  pipes,  and  piqued  herself  upon 
her  nice  judgment  in  her  choice  of  tobacco. 

The  town,  like  some  other  Chinese  towns, 
was  upon  the  point  of  surrendering  to  the 
formidable  "  demonstration"  made  by  the 
enemy  ;  but  when  he  opened  upon  it  simul- 
taneously, the  light  artillery  of  flattery  and 
the  heavy  artillery  of  gifts,  (the  latter  consist- 
ing of  two  great  guns,  the  one  a  gold  snufl"- 
box,  and  the  other  a  Chinese  poodle,)  the 


28  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

gates  flew  open  and  he  marched  in  triumph 
into  the  citadel, — his  lady's  heart.  The 
vanquished  So-Sli  kept  the  snuff"-box,  ate 
the  poodle,  and  accepted  the  heart  and  the 
hand  of  Ho-Fi. 

They  were  married,  and  a  fortnight  flew 
by  in  two  days :  or  perhaps  the  young  pair 
made  some  miscalculation,  as  the  almanacs 
had  not  predicted  this. 

The  cranium,  we  would  observe,  is  the 
dwelling-house  of  the  soul ;  the  organ  of  time 
is  its  time-piece ;  but  when  the  soul  sits  all 
day  in  its  back-rooms,  it  sometimes  forgets 
to  wind  up  its  clock. 

Each  was  constantly  devising  means  to 
gratify  the  other;  and  the  only  occasions  of 
strife  that  arose  between  them  were  when 
each  endeavoured  to  force  upon  the  other 
the  choicest  morsels  of  fox,  or  ferret,  or  frog, 
or  whatever  constituted  their  delicate  little 
meal  for  the  day. 

One  morning,  Ho-Fi  for  a  while  absented 
himself  from  his  beloved   So-Sli,  and  went 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  29 

into  the  city.  When  he  returned,  he  took 
from  his  pouch,  or  reticule,  a  small  packet 
of  tea. 

"My  dearest  So-Sli,"  he  said,  "  I  have  a 
friend  who  is  particular  in  the  cultivation  of 
plants.  With  so  much  skill  and  care  are 
his  experiments  conducted,  that  he  has  suc- 
ceeded in  obtaininor  bananas  from  his  orange- 
trees,  and  in  converting  a  pine-apple  into  a 
goose-berry.  He  has  lately  directed  his  at- 
tention to  the  improvement  of  a  young  tea- 
tree.  He  planted  it  with  a  silver  spade, 
manured  it  with  silk-worms  and  doves'  mar- 
row, and  he  daily  waters  the  earth  around  it 
with  roe's  tears  and  cinnamon  juice.  He  has 
hitherto  gathered  but  two  ounces  of  the 
leaves,  one  of  which  has  been  presented  to 
the  Emperor,  and  the  other  he  has  trans- 
mitted to  me,  as  being  the  oldest  of  his 
friends.  I  have  brought  it  here  for  my  darl- 
ing So-Sli.  As  you  love  me,  make  an  infu- 
sion of  its  leaves,  and  drink." 

"  Nay,"  said  So-Sli.  "if  it  be  so  choice, 
you  shall  drink  it,  not  I.  What  exceedingly 
3* 


30  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

curious  leaves !  and,  what  is  most  remarka- 
ble is,  that  they  are  exactly  like  others.  But 
what  is  this  dust  upon  them  ?" 

"  That,"  answered  Ho-Fi,  "  is  a  substance 
derived  from  the  silkworms,  and  is  what,  had 
they  not  been  buried,  would  have  formed  the 
down  on  the  wings  when  they  became  moths. 
But  you  must  drink  this  most  dainty  infu- 
sion ;  I  have  prepared  it  purposely  for  you, 
and  to  refuse  it  would  be  to  show  how  little 
you  loved  your  tender  Ho-Fi." 

Whilst  speaking-,  Ho-Fi  had  poured  hot 
water  on  the  leaves ;  and  he  offered  to  his 
beloved  the  cup  containing  the  fragrant  in- 
fusion. She,  however,  insisted  that  he  should 
drink  it;  and  an  affectionate  contest  took 
place  between  them,  each  wishing  to  give  up 
to  the  other  all  the  enjoyment  of  so  exquisite 
a  draught.  So-Sli  at  first  positively  refused 
to  taste  a  drop ;  then  she  would  consent  that 
he  should  leave  one  sip  for  her ;  and  then, 
that  if  he  would  take  half,  she  would  drink 
the  remainder :  but  Ho-Fi  was  obstinately 
determined  that  she  should  have  all,  or  at 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  31 

least  should  take  the  first  draught.  At  last 
their  affectionate  entreaties  began  to  change 
to  tones  of  anger  and  impatience ;  when,  to 
settle  the  matter  at  once,  So-Sli  took  the  cup, 
and,  proceeding  to  the  open  window,  emptied 
it  in  her  husband's  view,  declaring  that,  as 
it  had  become  a  cause  of  quarrel,  it  should 
not  be  tasted  by  either. 

Their  anger  blew  over,  and  several  times 
since  they  had  taken  tea  together  in  perfect 
amity.  One  evening  they  were  seated  to 
that  important  occupation,  and  Ho-Fi  had 
just  finished  his  first  cup,  when  So-Sli  ob- 
served she  did  not  think  the  tea  so  good  as 
usual.  Ho-Fi  agreed  with  her  in  opinion, 
and  using  a  common  Chinese  imprecation, 
wished  a  rotten  root  to  the  tree  that  bore  it. 

"  What !"  said  So-Sli,  bursting  into  a  fit 
of  uncontrollable  laughter,  "  after  all  the 
pains  your  poor  friend  has  taken  to  nourish 
it  with  silkworms  and  spice  ?  Oh  !  now 
that  is  too  cruel  a  desire!" 

Ho-Fi  stared,  and  turned  somewhat  pale. 
"Why  do  you  revert  to  that  subject?"  he 


32  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

said.  "Methinks  it  were  better  to  let  such 
a  matter  rest." 

"  Nay,"  said  So-Sli,  still  laughing  vio- 
lently, "I  said  you  should  drink  the  tea ;  and 
when  I  pretended  to  pour  it  from  the  window, 
I  poured  it  only  into  an  earthen  pan  which 
lay  outside.  I  have  had  it  warmed  for  you 
now  but  am  sorry  you  like  it  so  little," 

Ho-Fi  turned  very  pale ;  and  his  pigtail, 
"  with  the  effect  of  fear,"  stood  out  horizon- 
tally and  stiffly  from  his  head.  For  a  few- 
moments  he  was  struck  motionless,  but  anon 
he  started  up,  and  called  loudly  for  warm 
water. 

"  Perfidious  woman !"  he  shrieked,  "  hast 
thou  poisoned  thy  husband?" 

"Poisoned!"  said  So-Sli.  "Was  the  tea 
then  poisoned  ?  I  remember  that  white  dust 
— but  can  moth's  feathers  be  poison?" 

"It  burns!  it  burns!"  cried  Ho-Fi,  in  a 
frantic  manner.  "  For  Fo's  sake,  bring  me 
an  emetic,  a  stomach-pump — no,  no,  that  is 
not  yet  invented — but  blisters,  cataplasms — 
any  thing !" 


Ir^^^  A/!'^ 


I'3,t 


./(c  ,A  fv///f//)/  /  //  ///,)  r/r^/  na/f 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  33 

He  was  put  in  bed  :  physicians  were  sent 
for;  he  raved  till  he  was  exhausted,  and  then 
lay  asleep,  or  insensible,  for  some  hours. 
When  his  sense  returned,  he  became  aware 
of  the  expressions  he  had  used,  and  being 
calmer,  he  endeavoured  to  explain  them 
away.  He  said  that  the  tea  was  of  such 
wonderful  potency  as  to  have  deprived  him 
of  reason  more  rapidly  than  the  strong  spirit 
distilled  from  rice  could  have  done.  He  had 
fancied  in  his  delirium  that  his  wife  had  put 
poison  in  his  cup ;  but  he  now  fully  appre- 
ciated  the  absurdity  of  such  a  fear.  He 
should  write  to  the  friend  from  whom  he  had 
received  the  leaves,  a  timely  intimation,  that 
should  the  Emperor  swallow  the  infusion 
intended  for  the  bodily  solace  of  that  celestial 
person,  he,  the  unfortunate  cultivator  of  this 
ardent  tea,  would  unquestionably  be  put  to 
death  by  all  the  ingenuities  of  torture. 

Ho-Fi  had  a  strong  constitution  to  support 
him  against  poisoned  tea  and  three  Chinese 
physicians.  He  slowly  recovered  from  their 
effects. 


S4  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

He  was  restored  once  more  to  his  fond 
wife ;  but,  fond  as  she  had  always  shown  her- 
self, So-Sli  could  not  prevent  the  intrusion 
into  her  mind  of  an  unpleasant  suspicion  that 
her  affectionate  husband  had  offered  her  poi- 
soned tea,  from  a  too  lively  solicitude  to  put 
her  quite  out  of  reach  of  those  ugly  custom- 
ers, care  and  sorrow.  Long  before  her  mar- 
riage, surmises  had  been  whispered  which 
had  even  reached  her  ears,  that  at  least  a  few 
of  his  former  six  wives  had  been  dealt  with 
unfairly ;  but  no  one,  wife  or  otherwise, 
volunteered  any  evidence  against  him;  and 
the  Chinese  had  not  arrived  at  those  refine- 
ments in  chemical  science  which  enable  our 
western  luminaries,  by  distilling  a  bone,  or 
making  a  fricassee  of  a  muscle,  to  detect  the 
millionth  part  of  the  shadow  of  nothing  in 
one  who  is  supposed  to  have  died  by  poison. 

It  could  hardly  have  been  hinted  that  a 
man  was  such  a  Bluebeard,  without  strong 
reason  assigned  for  so  supposing.  Perhaps, 
to  some  minds,  the  mere  fact  of  his  having 
been  married  six  times,  and  having  in  every 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  36 

instance  become  a  widower  within  two 
months,  may  suffice  to  justify  a  suspicion ; 
but  if  a  motive  should  be  sought  that  could 
render  such  heinous  villany  probable,  it  might 
be  mentioned  that  on  the  marriage  of  a  Yel- 
low Girdle  he  is  allowed  by  his  cousin,  the 
Emperor,  a  sum  of  one  hundred  taels  (in  ad- 
dition to  his  usual  stipend,)  to  assist  in  fur- 
nishing his  house;  and  on  the  death  of  his 
wife  one  hundred  and  twenty  more,  to  assist 
in  furnishing  her  sepulchre.  And  Ho-Fi 
was  by  no  means  the  first  of  whom  it  had 
been  reported  that  he  sought  by  a  succession 
of  such  profitable  marriages  and  deaths  to 
raise  his  very  inconsiderable  income  into  a 
handsome  competency. 

So-Sli  could  not  avoid  a  suspicion ;  but  as 
she  had  really  loved  Ho-Fi,  she  tried  to 
repress  it,  and  not  to  entertain  such  evil 
thoughts  as  must,  if  confirmed,  have  given  a 
death-blow  to  her  affection.  Still  she  was 
haunted  by  a  fear  that  he  might  endeavour 
by  other  devices  to  lay  her  on  the  shelf  with 
his  former  wives.     The  "shelf"  whereupon 


36  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

his  former  wives  were  laid,  was  a  shelf  of 
rock  at  a  small  distance  from  the  city ;  a  place 
upon  which  such  persons  as  could  not  afford 
to  purchase  ground  for  the  burial  of  their 
deceased  friends,  availed  themselves  of  the 
common  right  of  disposing  coffins.*  He  had, 
therefore,  appropriated  to  himself  a  portion 
of  this  ledge,  where  the  six  coffins  of  his 
wives  were  ranged  side  by  side,  in  the  neat- 
est order,  like  so  many  volumes  of  one  book, 
that  might,  not  inappropriately,  have  been 
termed  collectively,  "  The  Works  of  Ho-Fi." 
Upon  each  were  inscribed  the  words,  "Wife 
of  Ho-Fi,"  and  the  name  besides  of  the  occu- 
pant, as  a  brief  table  of  contents. 

I  am  to  sorry,  that  had  So-Sli  been  more 
suspicious  than  she  was,  she  would  therein 
have  done  her  husband  no  wrong.  There 
was  nothing  he  so  earnestly  wished  as  to 
have  his  new  volume  firmly  put  up  in  a 
camphor-wood  binding,  and  neatly  lettered 
to  match  the  others. 

See  note,  C. 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  37 

Ho-Fi  remembered  an  incident  in  a  famous 
Chinese  tragedy,*  an  original  device  for  dis- 
posing of  an  obnoxious  person,  which  he 
imagined  he  might  turn  to  felicitous  account. 
He  procured  a  savage  dog,  and  having  pur- 
chased a  lady's  dress  of  peculiar  colours,  and 
another  of  similar  appearance,  although  of 
inferior  quality,  he  filled  the  latter  with 
straw,  bones,  and  offal,  and  encouraged  the 
fierce  animal  to  tear  this  effigy  in  pieces. 
The  creature  was  well  pleased  with  the  prize 
he  discovered  within,  and  Ho-Fi  repeated 
his  experiment  on  several  successive  days. 
When  he  considered  the  dog  to  be  sufficiently 
familiarized  with  the  figure,  he  tied  him  up, 
and  kept  him  for  some  time  without  food. 
The  insidious  Yellow  Girdle  then  made  a 
present  to  his  lady  of  the  other  and  choicer 
dress,  expressing  a  desire  that  she  might 
immediately  indue  it.  This,  not  however, 
until  she  had  examined  it  with  an  appre- 
hensive eye,  she  did :  and  he  affected  to  be 

•  See  note,  D. 


38  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

much  gratified  at  beholding  her  in  her  new 
garment.  He,  however,  pretended  to  have 
business  which  would  call  him  from  home 
for  an  hour,  and  begged  that  she  would  wait 
his  return  in  a  grotto  in  the  garden ;  but  he 
particularly  requested  that  she  would  allow 
no  one  to  open  a  chest  which  he  had  had 
placed  in  a  court  of  the  house,  and  of  which 
he  said  the  fastening  had  been  accidentally 
broken.  Excusing  himself  from  explaining 
to  her  just  then  what  it  contained,  he  pro- 
mised that  he  would  do  so  by  and  by. 

When  So-Sli  was  left  alone,  she  communed 
with  herself  "  Who  knows,"  she  said, 
"  what  man-trap  or  spring-gun  my  beloved 
husband  may  have  prepared  for  me  in  the 
orrotto  ?  It  will  not,  I  fear,  be  wise  to  ven- 
ture  thither.  And,  what  can  be  enclosed 
within  this  chest  which  he  wishes  to  keep 
secret  from  me  ?  Now  I  would  wager  six 
pots  of  pickled  earth-worms  that  he  has  con- 
cealed in  that  the  grave-clothes  which  he 
intends  for  his  affectionate  So-Sli.  So-Sli, 
then,  resolved  to  examine  the  chest  forth- 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  39 

with.  But  first  she  went  to  a  cage,  in  which 
was  her  husband's  bird  of  good-luck,  a  white 
necked  crow.*  Ho-Fi  valued  this  bird  be- 
yond all  his  earthly  possessions :  he  had  made 
it  tame,  and  had  attached  it  to  him,  and  he 
considered  that  whilst  he  possessed  it,  no 
material  ill-fortune  could  befall  him.  So- 
Sli  frequently  fed  it,  and  it  had  become  fond 
of  her  also,  from  which  it  was  to  be  believed 
that  its  kindly  influence  would  extend  to  her. 
She  took  it  now  from  its  cage,  and  placed  it 
on  her  wrist,  and  having  tendered  it  a  kiss, 
which  was  affectionately  received  and  reci- 
procated, she  went  into  the  yard  to  discover 
the  contents  of  the  mysterious  chest.  She 
unhesitatingly  raised  the  lid;  but  let  it  fall 
again  with  great  precipitation,  as  with  a  loud 
growl  a  savage  dog  attempted  to  spring  from 
within. 

So-Sli  was  off  with  greater  expedition  than 
is  frequently  practised  by  the  footless  ladies 
of  the  Flowery  Land ;  and  the  cover  of  the 

*  See  note,  E. 


40  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

chest  having  fallen  on  the  back  of  Bou-Wou, 
— such  was  the  name  of  the  fierce  quad- 
ruped,— she  was  able  to  gain  a  few  paces 
before  he  had  struggled  from  beneath  it. 

It  would  soon,  however,  have  been  all 
over  with  poor  So-Sli, — for  the  dog  had 
caught  a  glimpse  of  the  dress  so  familiar  to 
him,  and  would,  therefore,  have  mistaken  his 
mistress  for  his  daily  bread, — had  she  not, 
with  great  presence  of  mind,  seized  Ho-Fi's 
bird  of  good-luck  by  the  neck,  and  whisking 
it  rapidly  three  times  round,  thrown  it  to 
her  hungry  pursuer.  As  he  jumped  aside  to 
snap  at  this,  So-Sli  reached  the  door,  and, 
closing  it  against  him,  secured  it  with  seve- 
ral bolts.  » 

When  Ho-Fi  returned,  So-Sli  told  him 
that  a  savage  dog  had  got  loose  in  the  court, 
and  that  his  bird  of  good-luck  had  disap- 
peared. 

"  As  I  looked  in  the  cage,"  she  said,  "sud- 
denly I  beheld  him  wax  paler  and  paler,  till, 
having  become  thinner  than  mist,  he  passed 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  41 

between  the  bars,  and  what  became  of  him 
after  I  cannot  at  all  tell." 

Ho-Fi  was  inconsolable  for  the  loss  of  his 
bird.  "  Better,"  said  he,  "  to  lose  nine  wives 
than  to  lose  a  bird  of  good-luck."  And  in- 
wardly he  feared  lest  the  bird  of  good-luck 
having  thus  evaporated  in  the  presence  of 
So-Sli  might  indicate  the  calamity  he  most 
dreaded — that  he  should  lose  no  more  wives. 

In  a  few  days,  however,  his  invention  was 
again  in  active  exercise.  Perceiving  that  So- 
Sli's  suspicions  were  awakened,  he  judged  it 
best  to  send  his  dog  back  to  the  place  in 
which  he  had  been  trained ;  and  he  would  not 
try  a  fresh  experiment  with  him. 

Another  week  had  passed ;  it  was  evening, 
and  the  shadows  of  the  western  hills  were 
gradually  extending  eastward  over  the  richly 
cultivated  fields.  We  mention  this,  not  as 
necessary  to  the  elucidation  of  our  story,  but 
merely  because  an  erroneous  opinion  seems 
to  have  possessed  the  minds  of  many,  that 
shadows  are  unknown  in  China.  The  artists 
of  the  celestial  empire  exhibit  their  hopeful 
4* 


42  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

character  by  omitting  the  dark  side  of  every 
picture.  They  would  make  you  believe  that 
Peter  Schlemihl's  friend  had  walked  through 
the  land,  and  bought  shadow  and  shade, 
every  inch  of  the  commodity.  Foreigners, 
however,  have  not  discovered  that  nature,  in 
this  particular,  has  framed  for  China  laws 
different  from  those  in  operation  over  other 
portions  of  the  globe :  but  the  Chinese  seem 
really  to  be  unaware  that  shadow  exists 
among  them ;  and  in  their  writings  and  dis- 
course, as  in  their  pictures,  always  represent 
their  country  as  an  all-enlightened  land. 

It  was  evening ;  and  the  beautiful  So-Sli 
was  sitting  in  a  verandah,  very  diligently 
engaged  in  embroidering  a  dress,  and  chew- 
ing betel,  when  Ho-Fi  approached,  and  as- 
suming an  appearance  of  sudden  alarm  and 
solicitude,  exclaimed, 

"By  the  pig-tail  and  thumb-nails  of  Con- 
futtsze,  explain  to  me  what  ails  my  ever 
sweetest  So-Sli !  What  sudden  and  malevo- 
lent disease  is  endeavouring  to  pick  the  lock 
of  my  casket  of  a  thousand  jewels  ?    Your 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  43 

complexion,  sweet  mouse  of  my  bosom,  is 
like  silk,  your  eyes  are  as  dull  as  a  stewed 
shark's  fiu,  and  I  see  well  that  you  must  be 
under  the  evil  influence  of  the  melancholic 
Saturn :  thence  cold  has  gained  a  predomi- 
nancy over  heat  in  your  temperament,  and 
dryness  over  moisture.  Go,  therefore,  to 
your  chamber ;  avoid  all  yellow  objects,  and 
also  those  of  gloomy  white ;  you  had  better, 
indeed,  put  out  your  lantern,  and  close  your 
window,  that  you  may  see  nothing  but  a 
lively  black  about  you.  I  will  go  hence, 
lest  the  hue  of  my  girdle  exercise  a  malig- 
nant effect  upon  you;  and  if  you  will  betake 
yourself  to  bed,  I  will  send  hither  a  physi- 
cian of  great  skill,  who  will  feel  your  pulses, 
and  determine  from  the  stars  what  medicines 
you  should  use." 

The  Chinese  possess  many  secrets  of  phy- 
sical science  quite  unknown  to  the  philoso- 
phers of  E  urope.  Among  others  is  the  mys- 
terious dependance  of  particular  colours  upon 
particular  planets ;  yellow  upon  Saturn,  for 
example,  and  black  upon  Mercury.     White 


44  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

is  their  mourning  colour ;  and  black,  as  its 
opposite,  must  needs,  therefore,  be  regarded 
among  them  as  having  a  particularly  gay 
and  agreeable  character. 

A  Chinese  physician  is  not  content  with 
feeling  one  pulse  of  his  patient ;  he  must  feel 
many.  From  each  he  learns  somewhat  of 
the  disease,  and  he  needs  no  other  indica- 
tions to  guide  him.  It  is  a  simple  plan,  and 
removes  most  of  the  difficulties  that  beset  the 
European  doctor  in  the  formation  of  his  diag- 
nosis :  pulse  with  him  is  every  thing ;  like 
the  Brahmin,  he  lives  upon  pulse.  He  con- 
sults, indeed,  the  planets,  as  we  did  some 
century  since ;  but  in  one  thing  he  resem- 
bles our  modern  pharmacopeists, — that  be- 
yond all  stars  he  believes  in  the  healing  vir- 
tues of  Mercury. 

So-Sli  wondered  what  the  solicitude  of  her 
husband  might  portend.  Was  Bou-Wou 
awaiting  her  in  her  chamber,  and  preparing 
a  dose  of  bark?  ''You  don't  bite  me  so 
easily,"  thought  So-Sli;  and  she  entreated 
Ho-Fi  that  if  she  should  immediately  betake 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  45 

herself  to  bed,  he  would  retire  to  rest  at  the 
same  time.  He  excused  himself  on  the 
ground  that  he  must  forthwith  call  a  physi- 
cian :  and  though  for  a  while  she  made  some 
objections  to  this,  having  ever  entertained  a 
great  dislike  to  doctor's  stuff  and  doctor's 
learning,  which  she  classed  together  as  stuff 
and  nonsense,  she  could  not  but  give  in  at 
last,  as  he  insisted  upon  it  with  all  the  ear- 
nestness of  affectionate  solicitude. 

Ho-Fi  accordingly  went  to  seek  the  phy- 
sician ;  and  So-Sli,  taking  a  lantern,  and 
having  glanced  in  a  mirror,  to  assure  herself 
of  what  all  along  she  had  strongly  suspected, 
that  she  was  7iot  so  yellow  as  silk,  and  that 
her  eyes  were  not  so  dull  as  a  stewed  shark's 
fin,  proceeded  to  her  chamber,  and  very  cau- 
tiously opening  the  door,  threw  in  a  bone 
before  she  would  enter,  to  find  if  the  coast 
were  clear. 

As  no  dog  snapped  at  the  bone,  So-Sli  felt 
sufficiently  assured  that  her  canine  enemy 
was  not  in  the  apartment.  She  ventured 
into  it,  therefore,  but  moved  about  with  great 


46  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

circumspection,  and  she  examined  the  room 
with  the  utmost  care,  to  discover  what  dan- 
ger might  be  concealed  within  it;  for  she 
had  fully  made  up  her  mind  that  there  was 
some. 

She  looked  up  the  chimney ;  she  pryed  in 
every  corner ;  she  turned  about  the  table  and 
chairs ;  she  looked  in  the  oven  under  the  bed. 
Yes,  truly ;  the  oven  was  under  the  bed.  So 
to  place  it  is  a  common  practice  in  the  Chi- 
nese empire,  and  unquestionably  it  is  an 
acute  plan :  in  one  side  of  a  chamber  is  an 
arched  recess,  in  which  is  placed  the  bed  on 
a  raised  platform  and  beneath  that  the  oven. 
What  a  very  cosy  thing  upon  a  winter's 
night !  The  warming-pan  as  large  as  the 
mattress.  You  put  your  bread  in  the  oven, 
and  have  a  hot  roll  in  bed.  But  perhaps  this 
practice  may  have  done  something  towards 
making  the  Chinese  rather  a  crusty  people. 

So-Sli  was  not  yet  satisfied.  "What," 
said  she,  ''an'  if  I  find  needles  in  my  bed?" 
and  the  mere  idea  gave  her  a  stitch  in  her 
side.     She  lifted  the  bed-clothes,  but  let  them 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  47 

fall  again  much  more  quickly ;  she  was 
frightened,  but  she  did  not  shriek.  She  gave 
utterance  only  to  a  little  gasping  cry,  such  as 
might  proceed  from  a  terrified  "sucking- 
dove;"  and  she  did  not  run  away,  for  though 
she  had  arrived  at  womanhood,  her  feet  were 
as  those  of  an  infant.  However,  she  tottered 
back  a  few  paces,  and  then  paused  to  con- 
sider what  she  should  do. 

But  what  had  she  seen  in  the  bed?  Had 
any  of  you  seen  it,  my  fair  readers,  the  ap- 
parition of  the  old  gentleman's  tail,  to  which 
it  bore  a  very  marked  resemblance,  could 
scarcely  have'frightened  you  more.  It  was 
a  huge  black  adder.  You  must  not,  how- 
ever, suppose  that,  though  startled,  our  little 
celestial  lady  was  scared  at  all  in  the  same 
degree  that  you  would  have  been  ;  by  reason 
that  she  had  been  on  most  familiar  terms 
with  many  of  his  kin^in  the  kitchen. 

So-Sli  hobbled  quietly  out  of  the  room; 
she  called  a  female  servant,  and  sent  her  into 
the  court  to  bring  a  young  rat  from  the  coop ; 
to  its  leg  they  tied  a  small  stone,  and  put  it 


48  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

in  a  large,  long  earthen  pot  with  a  small 
neck ;  and  just  peeping  under  the  clothes  of 
the  bed  to  see  whereabouts  the  adder  lay, 
they  thrust  this  in  with  the  mouth  towards 
him.  They  listened,  and  after  a  time  fan- 
cied that  they  heard  him  glide  into  it,  and 
this  was  confirmed  by  a  little  squeak  from 
the  rat;  so,  cautiously  lifting  the  clothes,  they 
suddenly  raised  the  jar  upon  the  end,  and 
put  a  stopper  over  its  mouth.  The  adder 
could  not  but  perceive  that  he  was  rather 
awkwardly  situated :  "I  shall  *go  to  pot,'" 
thought  he ;  but  it  was  of  no  use  to  make  a 
coil  about  it. 

So-Sli  sat  up  to  wait  the  return  of  her 
loving  and  liege  lord  :  "I  shall  stay  by  him  a 
little  yet,"  she  said;  "an  adder  shall  not  be 
our  divider." 

Two  or  three  hours  elapsed  ere  he  came 
back :  he  had  forgotten  the  physician. 

As  he  entered  he  seemed  startled  at  be- 
holding her.  "My  dearest  So-Sli,"  he  said, 
"  how  is  it  that  you  have  not  retired  to  bed, 
as  I  requested?" 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  49 

"  Whilst  you  were  absent  from  me,"  she 
answered,  "  how  could  I  have  rested  ?  I 
should  have  been  haunted  by  dragons,  and 
demons,  and  cockatrices.  Besides,  I  ex- 
pected to  see  the  physician,  and  I  was  not 
willing  that  he  should  visit  me  in  my  bed- 
chamber. How  is  it  that  he  comes  not  with 
you?" 

"  His  own  son,"  replied  Ho-Fi;  "  is  on  the 
point  of  death,  and  I  could  not  induce  him 
to  leave  his  bed-side :  but  he  desired  that  you 
should  not  rise  from  your  couch  whilst  the 
cold  influence  was  upon  you.  He  bade  me 
to  spend  the  night  in  watching  and  fasting; 
and  at  midnight  to  gather  certain  simples  on 
the  hill  without  the  city,  from  which  to-mor- 
row he  will  prepare  your  medicines.  I  con- 
jure you,  then,  as  you  love  my  yellow  girdle, 
to  go  to  bed  without  more  delay. 

So-Sli  at  last  assented  to  go  to  bed  alone; 
but  she  would  not  do  so  until  he  should  have 
partaken,  with  her,  of  a  soup,  which  she  said 
she  had  prepared  for  him  with  great  care, 
believing  that  it  would  be  agreeable  to  him 


50  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

after  being  so  long  exposed  to  the  damp  of 
the  night.  To  this,  so  far  as  himself  was 
concerned,  Ho-Fi  had  no  reasonable  objec- 
tion to  urge ;  but  for  her  sake  he  wished  that 
it  had  not  been  made,  and  he  earnestly  ad- 
vised her  by  no  means  to  take  any  part 
thereof  The  night  air  had  given  Ho-Fi  an 
appetite. 

So-Sli  promised;  and  they  sat  dovv^n  on 
either  side  of  a  small  bamboo  table.  A  lan- 
tern was  placed  upon  it,  and  the  soup,  intro- 
duced in  a  covered  bowl,  was  put  before  Ho- 
Fi  that  he  might  help  himself  He  had 
placed  his  hand  upon  the  cover,  when  So- 
Sli  accidentally  knocked  the  lantern  from 
the  table,  and  the  light  was  extinguished. 
She  rose  suddenly  from  her  chair  in  great 
alarm,  and  in  doing  this  upset  the  little  table? 
so  that  the  soup-bowi  was  thrown  into  the 
lap  of  Ho-Fi.  Ho-Fi  had  on  a  skin  apron, 
which  he  usually  wore  when  he  sat  down  to 
meals,  and  this  he  held  up  to  catch  his  sup- 
per as  it  fell.  But  alack  for  luckless  Ho-Fi ! 
his  supper  caught  him  by  the  wrist,  and 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  51 

made  him  roar  with  agony.  So-Sli  knew 
his  partiality  for  viper  soup,  but  had  forgot- 
ten to  have  the  reptile  cooked. 

But  So-Sli  did  not  escape  with  impunity. 
Ho-Fi  chased  her  around  the  apartment,  and 
driving  her  at  last  into  a  corner,  beat  her 
with  his  knotted  pigtail  in  an  unmerciful 
manner,  until  the  pain  of  the  bite  he  had  re- 
ceived in  his  wrist  made  him  fall  down  upon 
the  floor,  and  grind  his  head  against  it. 
Whilst  he  was  so  employed  his  wife  stepped 
upon  his  shoulder,  and  jumping  over  him, 
escaped  from  the  house.  The  fright  she 
was  in  gave  her  power  to  run  as  never  be- 
fore her  legs  had  carried  her,  and  that,  too, 
without  crutches.  Fright  does  not  always 
thus  assist  us  in  getting  out  of  a  hobble. 

When  the  first  impetus  supplied  by  fear 
had  abated,  she  assumed  somewhat  more  of 
her  ordinary  walk.  Several  times  she  was 
hailed  by  the  watchmen  as  she  passed 
through  the  streets;  but  they  allowed  her  to 
proceed ;  and  at  last,  sorely  spent  with  the 


52  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

fatigue  of  her  long  and  unsupported  totter- 
ing, she  arrived  at  her  father's  house. 

The  philosopher  had  already  retired  to 
rest.  He  was  angry  at  being  thus  aroused, 
but  his  indignation  was  beyond  all  bounds 
when  he  heard  his  daughter's  story.  ''  I 
will  appeal,"  he  said,  "  to  Peking  in  this 
matter ;  and  we  will  hang  Ho-Fi  in  his  yel- 
low girdle." 

Ho-Fi,  meanwhile,  when  the  first  parox- 
ysms of  pain  had  subsided,  sent  for  a  barber- 
surgeon,  and  had  his  wrist,  which  was  swol- 
len to  the  size  of  the  calf  of  his  leg,  examined' 
and  dressed.  Moreover,  having  no  doubt 
heard  of  that  ancient  practice  in  chirurgery 
which  cured  the  wound  by  anointing  the 
weapon,  he  had  the  viper  dressed  also ;  and 
revenge  furnished  an  excellent  sauce,  and 
greatly  improved  his  supper. 

Poo-Poo,  according  to  promise,  made  his 
appeal  to  the  Emperor.  As  Ho-Fi  boasted 
his  relationship  to  the  imperial  family,  this 
was  the  properest  course ;  though  the  local 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  53 

courts  were  not  forbidden  to  exercise  juris- 
diction in  similar  cases.  Commissioners 
were  sent  from  Pekinof  to  investijjate  the  af- 
fair. 

Ho-Fi,  and  his  wife,  their  domestics,  Poo- 
Poo,  and  a  few  other  persons  who  were  re- 
quired as  witnesses,  were  summoned  before 
the  tribunal.  Some  of  the  relatives  also 
of  the  former  wives  of  the  Yellow  Girdle 
took  care  to  be  present  in  the  court. 

The  case  was  fully  examined.  Minute 
evidence  was  entered  into  to  prove  that  Ho- 
Fi  had  in  various  ways  attempted  the  life  of 
his  lady ;  all  the  circumstances  connected 
with  their  marriage  were  set  forth  by  Poo- 
Poo;  So-Sli  gave  her  evidence  with  great 
perspicuity,  and  her  statements  respecting 
the  poisoned  tea  and  the  fierce  Bou-Wou,  as 
well  as  concerning  the  vipor  in  the  bed,  were 
corroborated  by  the  testimony  of  the  servants. 
Some  amateur  witnesses  made  it  pretty  ap- 
parent that  Ho-Fi's  former  wives  had  all  of 
them  been  Burked  and  Greenacred ;  and 
the  judges  and  jury  were  fully  satified  of  his 
5* 


54  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

oruilt.  The  defence  did  not  shake  their  con- 
fidence  though  it  showed  that  faults  of  less 
magnitude  existed  in  some  other  parties. 
The  verdict  of  the  court  having  been  sub- 
mitted to  Peking,  the  following  proclamation 
was  in  a  few  days  received  from  the  Empe- 
ror,— the  Son  of  Heaven,  and  Father  of  the 
Celestial  Empire.  It  was  addressed  to  all 
his  subjects — that  is  to  say,  to  his  three  hun- 
dred and  sixty -five  millions  of  children. 

"  Peking,  the  sixth  month ;  the  fourteenth 
day;  the  fifty-eighth  year  of  the  Emperor 
Ho-Ho. 

"  Unless  the  laws  be  exercised  even  on  the 
imperial  kindred,  they  will  not  be  obeyed. 

"  When  the  mulberry  shall  degenerate  into 

the  thorn,  it  is  time  that  it  should  be  rooted 

out. 

"  Guilt  doth  not  escape  the  penetrating 

search  of  Ho-Ho.     Ho-Ho  hath  long  ears." 

"  Ho-Ho  would  emulate  the  virtues  of  his 
father,  Ha-Ha,  and  train  up  by  good  exam- 
ple his  son,  He-He. 

"  It  hath  come  to  the  knowledge  of  Ho-Ho 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  55 

that  a  certain  Yellow  Girdle,  named  Ho-Fi, 
residing  in  the  city  of  Din-Din,  nol  respect- 
ing the    imperial    pleasure,   so    often   pro- 
claimed, that  all  shall  live  peaceably  together 
without  committing  offences   against  their 
neighbours,  hath  contumaciously  presumed 
to  put  six  wives  to  death  by  various  devices, 
and  hath  in  like  manner  attempted  the  life 
of  a  seventh.     The  modes  of  their  deaths 
have  been   these: — for   each  he  accounted 
falsely.     The  first  fell  from  a  rock — he  as- 
cribed it  to  female  giddiness  :  the  sec  md  was 
drowned — he  said  that  she  died  of  drink: 
the  third  was  hanged — he  spoke  of  her  tight- 
ness of  breath  :  the  fourth  was  poisoned — he 
declared  she  was  not  careful  in  diet:  the  fifth 
was  starved — he  said  tliat  she  lived  too  low: 
the  sixth  was   choked   with   her   shoe — he 
gave  out  that  she  could  not  say  herself  how 
she  died.     By  these  evasions  he  for  a  while 
deluded  justice  :  but  the  truth  hath  become 
manifest;  the  chicken  hath  pipped  the  shell;* 

♦  "Eg-s  are   close  tilings,  but  chickens  will  out  at  last."     A 
Chinese  |r'>verb,  signifying  that  murder  will  out.— Uavis. 


66  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

the  cat  can  no  longer  conceal  the  kittens;  the 
parrot  hath  moulted;  let  him  be  ashamed  of 
his  tail. 

"  But  it  is  agreeable  to  the  rules  of  justice 
that  the  punishment  should  bear  some  refe- 
rence to  the  particular  nature  of  the  crime^ 
This  was  the  attempted  murder  of  the  se- 
venth wife,  which  he  hath  essayed  by  poison, 
by  a  dog,  and  by  a  viper.  It  is  the  will, 
then,  of  Ho-Ho  that  Ho-Fi  be  punished  in 
this  manner :  that  he  be  stung  to  death  by 
adders,  and  that  his  heart  be  filled  with  poi- 
son, and  given  to  the  dog  Bou-Wou.  In 
consideration  of  his  former  enormities  it  is 
farther  ordered,  that  his  body  be  cut  into  ex- 
ceeding small  pieces,  one  of  which  shall  be 
sent  to  every  square  /y*  throughout  the  em- 
pire, and  stuck  upon  a  thorn.  That  his  ten 
nearest  relatives  be  put  to  death  also;  but  as 
it  is  well  to  temper  justice  with  mercy,  they 
shall  be  merely  strangled.  His  wife  So-Sli 
shall  be  strangled  likewise.  His  servants 
shall  submit  each  to  two  hundred  strokes  of 

•  A  ly  is  a  measure  of  diBtancc  about  equal  to  our  furlong. 


^ 

^ 

N 

v-^j 

^St"^ 

wP"' 

\^ 

tf-^ 

N^ 

X 

■  ^ 

\, 


HO-TI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE.  57 

the  bamboo  ;  Poo-Poo,  the  father  of  So-Sli 
shall  receive  five  hundred,  and  shall  wear 
the  wooden  collar  for  twelve  calendar  months, 
a  proper  reward  for  his  heretical  doctrines : 
the  allowance  of  pay  and  rice  to  all  Yellow 
Girdles  shall  cease  for  three  years;  and  the 
principal  mandarin  of  Din-Din  shall  be  hung- 
up in  his  house." 

For  "hung  up  in  his  house,"  some  ver- 
sions of  the  proclamation  read  ''  suspended  in 
his  office." 

The  wind  up  of  this  enunciation  of  the  ce- 
lestial will  is  too  long  for  insertion  here ;  it 
exhibits  a  fine  struggle  between  a  proper  hu- 
mility and  conscious  wisdom. 

The  story  of  Ho-Fi  is  told.  Chinese  and 
poetical  justice  go  hand-in-hand.  His  name 
has  long  been  universally  execrated  through- 
out he  celestial  empire.  The  Greeks  bor- 
rowed it,  and  among  them  o<P'  was  an  expres- 
sion equivalent  to  "0  thou  serpent!"  Even 
among  us  barbarous  inhabitants  of  the  isles 
of  the  Western  Ocean  "0  fye!"  is  to  this 
day  used  to  convey  a  reproach. 


THE    PORCELAIN   TOWER. 


KUBLAI  KHAN ; 

OR, 

THE  SIEGE  OF  KINSAI. 

INTRODUCTION. 

I  AM  inclined  to  believe  that  the  following 
story  is  a  sort  of  psychological  curiosity ;  that 
is  to  say,  that  it  is  no  other  than  a  poetical 
dream  of  the  well-known  Klang,  the  warrior 
bard. 

There  is  internal  evidence  that  this  story 
is  but  "the  stuff"  of  a  dream,  in  its  strange 
dislocation  of  historical  facts.  This,  in  a 
writer  so  remarkable  for  accuracy  as  the  fa- 
mous Klang,  can  only  be  accounted  for  on 
the  above  supposition.  It  is  true  that  the 
joyal  city,  Kinsai,  was  beset  by  the  troops  of 


KUBLAl KHAN.  69 

the  Khan,  and  that  the  Emperor  fled,  leaving 
the  defence  of  the  place  to  his  Empress:  it  is 
true  that  she  defended  it  with  great  valour : 
but  history  makes  no  mention,  upon  this  oc- 
casion, of  any  regiment  of  ladies;  though  at 
an  earlier  period  in  the  Chinese  annals  the 
Emperors  Shih-hoo  and  Yang-te  had  troops 
of  beautiful  ladies  as  their  body-guards.  It 
can  scarcely  be  necessary  to  observe  that  the 
adventure  of  the  Khan,  as  related  in  the  se- 
cond and  third  cantos,  is  altogether  fictitious. 
A  medley  of  legends  and  historical  facts  must 
have  been  spinning  round  together  in  the 
brain, — in  the  stomach  I  should  say, — in 
China  the  mind  is  seated  in  the  stomach,* — 
in  the  stomach  of  the  slumberingr  Klans: 
when  these,  not  originally  connected,  acci- 
dentally arranged  themselves  in  the  sequence 
in  which  they  are  here  presented  to  the 
reader. 

■  Chinese  Miscellany. 


KUBLAI    KHAN 


THE    SIEGE    OF    KINSAI. 


Women  young  and  women  fair, 
These  be  all  the  brave  man's  share. 

Dry-Dkn. 


CANTO  I. 

I. 
You've  heard,  no  doubt,  of  Kublai  Khan, 
That  terrible  man 
Who  overran 
The  eastern  world,  in  days  of  yore, 
With  steps  of  steel,  in  paths  of  gore  ? 
Could  there  be  brought  together  but  all 
The  bones  of  those  his  armies  slew, 
They  would  vie  in  bulk  with  the  China  wall. 
Or  fill  up  the  great  canal  of  Yu. 

11. 
Kublai  Khan  was  a  terrible  man, 
A  terrible  Tartar  was  Kublai  Khan ; 


KUBLAI KHAN.  61 

His  beard  was  yellow,  his  eyes  were  red, 
And,  hard  as  a  crab's,  stood  out  from  his  head, 
They  were  eyes  to  pierce  and  eyes  to  harrow ; 
Those  that  he  looked  at  would  quake  to  their  mar- 
row; 
The  heart,  when  he  frowned,  would  sink  down  in 

the  belly. 
And  the  voice  of  his  anger  made  blood  turn  to  jelly. 


He  swore  the  Chinese  realm  should  fall ; 

So  he  came  at  the  head  of  his  Tartar  hordes, 

Who  all  carried  besoms  as  well  as  their  swords. 
And  he  pitched  his  tents  before  the  wall. 
As  soon  as  the  following  morn  had  birth, 

He  led  them  along  in  their  war  array ; 
A  part  of  the  wall  was  formed  of  earth, 

So  they  plied  their  besoms  and  swept  it  away. 
Then  Kublai  Khan  gave  the  word  of  command. 
And  they  all  poured  into  the  Central  Land. 

IV. 

What  deeds  were  done  is  it  need  I  say, 

As  on  their  course  they  wound  ? 
What  roofs  were  fired,  what  fields  laid  waste, 
What  armies  slain,  what  hearths  disgraced, 
What  lovely  dames  were  borne  away. 

What  plainer  dames  were  drowned  ? 
Oh !  wo  in  the  rear  and  death  in  the  van 
Were  ever  attendant  on  Kublai  Khan. 
6 


62  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 


V. 


Fierce  Kublai  came  to  great  Kinsai, 

Where  the  Emperor  dwelt,  and  his  wives,  and 
kin, 
In  a  beautiful  palace,  with  a  rich  inlay 

Of  gold  without  and  of  pearls  within ; 
And  with  terrible  groups  of  his  Tartar  troops 

He  blackened  the  hills  and  the  plains  around ; 
And  he  vowed  a  vow,  that  its  towers  should  bow, 

And  its  walls  be  scattered  along  the  ground. 


But  when  the  Emperor  saw 

Proud  Kublai's  banners  flaunting, 
He  was  struck  with  amaze  and  awe. 
And  felt  that  his  heart  was  wanting ; 
And  slipping  his  ribs,  so  august  and  imperial, 
Into  a  jacket  of  common  material, 
That  none  might  suppose  him  a  person  of  note. 
He  gat  from  the  city  by  night  in  a  boat. 
But  he  left  his  queen  and  wives  behind, 

And  bade  them  take  good  care 
That  the  insolent  Tartar  hordes  should  find 
A  warm  reception  there. 

vii. 

Now  it's  fit  you  be  told,  that  this  Emperor  bold, 

Besides  his  Empress  fair, 
Had  twenty  wives,  of  propcrcst  lives. 
As  blythe  and  busy  as  bees  in  hives, 


KUBLAI  KHA.N.  63 

Endeavouring  still 
His  hours  to  fill 
With  frolic  and  merriment  fit  to  kill 
The  hollow-eyed  phantom,  Care. 
There  were  An,  and  Nan,  and  Fan, 

And  Jin,  and  Din,  and  Sin,  too. 
With  names  that  I  neither  can. 
Nor  would  wish  to  enter  into  : 
Monosyllable  names  of  most  killable  dames. 
Dames,  I  mean  to  say,  able  to  kill  us  all ; 
So  lovely  and  neat,  and  with  such  Uttle  feet. 
As  with  awe  and  with  wonder  would  fill  us  al 


And  again  and  besides  these  beautiful  brides, 
Who  sat  in  due  order  at  both  of  his  sides, 
Farthermore  he  possessed, 
(So  might  count  himself  blessed. 
More   than   any  that  dwelt   in   the   East  or    the 

West,) 
A  regiment  of  ladies,  all  chosen  and  pick'd, 
Whose  hearts  were  brave,  whose  discipline  strict, 
All  mounted  on  steeds  of  superior  breeds, 
And  furnished  with  bows  and  brass-pointed  reeds, 
And  swords  ever  ready  for  martial  deeds ; 

Which  loyal  and  beautiful  band 
Formed  his  guard,  to  watch  and  to  ward 
Treasons  and  dangers,  from  servants  or  strangers. 
Lest  any  come  near  a  person  so  dear 

To  all  the  loyal  dames  of  the  Central  Land. 


64  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 


The  Empress  was  colonel  of  this  gallant  troop, 
And  the  wives  were  the  majors,  the  captains, 

lieutenants, 
And  ensigns  that  bore  the  invincible  pennants. 
To  which  every  foe, — 
It  seemed  to  be  so, — 
Was  in  gallantry  bound  to  stoop. 
So  Sergeant  Sling  called  over  the  names. 
And    the    Empress    harangued    her    regiment   of 

dames ; 
Set  out  before  them,  in  learned  display, 
The  danger  that  threatened  the  city  Kinsai  ; 
The  myriads  of  Tartars 
Prepared  to  be  martyrs, 
Rather  than  yield 
An  inch  of  the  field, 
Or  move  from  the  wall, 
Till  the  town  should  fall. 


"  So  you  see,  my  girls,"  said  the  beautiful  colonel, 

"  We  go  forth  in  strong  quest 

Of  difficult  conquest : 
Should  they  beat  women  the  shame  is  infernal. 
But,  if  they  be  beaten,  our  glory  eternal. 

So  let  us  be  drest 

In  our  holiday  best, 
With  silks  of  bright  hues 

All  embroidered,  for  mails. 


KUBLAI  KHAN.  66 

With  the  smallest  of  shoes,  • 

And  the  longest  of  nails, 
With  patches  of  pink 

On  our  lips  and  our  cheeks, 
And  eye-brows  of  ink 

Laid  in  deUcate  streaks, 
With  foong-hangs*  rare, 

Of  jewels  and  gold, 
Hanging  down  from  our  hair, 
O'er  our  foreheads  so  fair ; — 
These  charms,  as  I  think. 

And  the  swords  we  shall  hold, 
Will  make  the  foe  shrink, 

Be  they  never  so  bold. 

XI. 

"  Now  Major  Slo,  as  your  charger  is  fleet. 

You  shall  lead  the  advance,  when  we  go  forth  to 

meet 
The  foe  in  the  field,  and  Major  Van 
Shall  bring  up  the  rear  as  well  as  she  can. 

There  is  work  for  you,  fair  Captain  Slae, 
And  for  Captain  Shi,  so  forward  still; 
For  cast  your  glance  o'er  plain  and  hill. 
We  have  many  to  capture  and  many  to  kill ; 
But  let  not  numbers  our  hearts  dismay. 
We'll  not  be  afraid  of  the  foe  or  the  frav." 


*  See  note,  F. 

6* 


66  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 


XII. 


Thus  the  Empress  spoke  to  her  female  bands, 
And  the  male  troops  also  received  her  commands: 
The  male  bands  answered  with  warUke  whoops, 
But  the  hope  of  the  town  was  the  female  troops. 


KUBLAI  KHAN.  67 


CANTO  ir. 


I  do  not  say  how  the  siege  begun, 

What  works  were  tried,  what  deeds  were  done, 

What  engines  used,  what  flags  upborne, 

What  breaches  made,  what  trousers  torn, 

What  throats  were  cut,  what  Umbs  were  hack'd 

What  bodies  were  crushed,  what  skulls  were  crack'd, 

Because  I  don't  know,  and  that's  the  fact. 

But  deeds  of  hand,  and  deeds  of  heart. 

Valorous  deeds  upon  either  part. 

Countless  losses  of  lords  and  wives, 

Countless  losses  of  limbs  and  lives; 

Walls  in  ruin,  and  silks  in  rags. 

Terrible  engines,  flouting  flags. 

And  all  that  belongs  to  a  fearful  fray, 

You  may  understand  without  my  say. 

The  walls  though  battered  were  not  thrown  down ; 

And  the  Empress  yet  retained  the  town. 


II. 


Oh,  ne'er  had  a  general  yet  been  seen 
In  all  the  Central  Land, 


68  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Who  in  skill  or  in  luck, 
Or  in  plenty  of  pluck, 
Was  at  all  to  compare 
With  that  Empress  so  fair; 
Nor  there,  as  I  ween,  had  a  troop  ever  been, 

That  might  vie  with  her  beautiful  band. 
She  gallantly  held  the  great  Kinsai, 
And  harassed  the  foe  both  night  and  day ; 
They  scarce  could  remain  in  the  neighbouring  plain, 

Nor  were  safe  in  the  hills  and  the  valleys ; 
For  in  her  defence  there  was  so  much  of  sense, 
And  so  much  keen  wit  in  her  sallies. 

III. 

Let  me  declare  it,  if  nobody  knows, 

Ladies  are  not  such  contemptible  foes. 

A  thousand  at  once,  and  all  of  them  chattering, 

Mid  horses'  hoofs  clattering,  pattering,  spattering, 

Like  tilters  of  Eglintoun  all  running  at  a  ring. 

Killing  and  scattering. 

Bruising  and  battering. 

Maiming  and  shattering, — 

Not  to  be  flattering. 
Of  primal  confusion  they  teach  you  a  smattering. 

IV. 

Daily  were  prisoners  brought  into  the  city, 
Tied  by  their  pigtails*  together  in  pairs ; 

•  See  note  G. 


KUBLAI  KHAN.  69 

The  handsome  ones  won  on  the  Empress's  pity, 
The  plain  ones  were  hung  in  the  crescents  and 

squares. 
She  offered  rewards  for  the  heads  of  the  lords, 
And  the  commoners  too  of  the  Tartar  hordes. 
And  her  soldiers  oft  brought  them  by  twos  and  by 

twos, 
Slung  over  their  shoulders  so  tied  by  their  queues;* 
Or,  sometimes  a  lady  with  little  remorse, 
Arranged  them  in  pairs  o'er  the  neck  of  her  horse. 


Now  months  had  passed  on  in  storming  and  sallying, 
Fancy-phlebotomy,  running  and  rallying; 
In  hurling  stones. 

And  in  throwing  darts; 
In  breaking  bones, 

And  in  piercing  hearts  ; 
The  troops  of  the  Timour, 

By  hands  and  hy  knees. 
Endeavouring  to  climb  o'er, 

The  walls  of  the  Chinese : 
And  the  brave  Chinese  band, 

Ensconced  in  snug  quarters. 
Hurling  hot  pitch  and  sand 

On  the  heads  of  the  Tartars : 
Till  the  Tartars  confessed,  at  least  those  in  the 
thick  of  it, 

*  See  note,  H. 


70  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

That  the  siege  of  Kinsai,  they  were  heartily  sick 
of  it : 

And  it  made  Kublai  Khan  very  fierce  and  sple- 
netic. 

To  find  it  thus  act  as  a  Tartar  emetic. 

VI. 

So  the*  terrible  Kublai  swore 

That  by  storm  he  would  take  the  city ; 
And  wash  the  streets  with  the  inmates'  gore, 

Without  remorse  or  pity. 
That  lord  nor  page,  that  youth  nor  age, 

Should  meet  mith  a  moment's  quarter: 
But  that  proud  Kinsai  should  be  all  laid  low, 
And  the  share  of  the  plough  should  over  it  go. 
To  bury  its  bricks. 
Its  stones  and  sticks, 
Its  marble,  mud  and  mortar. 

VII. 

As  Kublai  pronounced  his  decree  so  proudly, 
His  blood-hungry  Tartars  applauded  him  loudly ; 
They  clattered  their  swords,  they  struck  their  gongs. 
The  air  was  griped  with  their  crudest  songs ; 
It  was  beaten  with  shouts  and  shattered  with  laugh- 
ter, 
And  the  echoes  were  ill  for  a  month  thereafter ! 
The  broad  river  quaked  as  it  rolled  on  its  way. 
And  the  red  flags  were  wind-shaken  over  Kinsai. 


KUBLA.I  KHAN.  71 


The  Empress  heard  the  clatter  and  jar, 

As  'twas  borne,  by  the  breath  of  the  breeze,  from 

afar, 
Like  a  peal  of  tipsy  thunder ; 
So  knowing  that  something  must  be  in  the  wind, 
With  her  beautiful  lips  she  most  wrathfully  grinned  ; 
She   seized  her  silk  buckler,  her  breastplate   she 

pinned, 
With  a  China-crape  shawl  doubled  under ; 
In  an  elegant  bow  tied  the  string  of  her  helmet. 
And  swore  when  the  Tartars  came  they  should  be 

well  met : 
Then  with  eloquent  speech  to  her  ladies  appealed. 
And  rode  at  the  head  of  them  forth  to  the  field. 

IX. 

So  on  went  the  ladies  till  meeting  the  Tartars, 
They  poured  forth  upon  them  a  volley  of  arrows. 
As  thick  as  small  shot  on  a  regiment  of  sparrows  ; 

And  then  they  turned  round  and  made  back  to  their 
quarters. 


The  Khan  greatly  marvelled  ; 
"  Oh,  none  of  them  are  veiled," 
Cried  he,  "  and  what  beauties  they  are,  every  soul 
of  them ! 
Draw  not  a  bow — 
Lay  not  one  of  them  low  ; 


72  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

For  the  moon  and  the  sun, 

1  would  not  part  with  one  ; 
But  forward,  my  Tartars,  and  capture  the  whole  of 

them. 
Seize  me  alive  every  dear  little  beauty  ; 
Yours  is  Kinsai  if  you  do  me  this  duty ; 
These  shall  alone  be  my  share  of  the  booty." 

XI. 

Then  onward  they  all  hurried,  (0,  for  quick  metre !) 
The  Tartars  were  fleet  but  the  ladies  were  fleeter ; 
If  those  seemed  to  fly  along,  these  seemed  to  shoot, 
And  they  got  to  the  city  in  spite  of  pursuit.  ^ 


Now  first  in  the  chase  was  the  amorous  Khan, 

Who  distanced  his  troops  two-thirds  of  a  ly — 
No  thought  from  the  moment  the  flight  began 
Had  entered  his  brain. 
Except  to  obtain 
The  prize  upon  which  he  had  fixed  his  eye. 
His  passion  and  eagerness  made  him  so  blind 
That  he  did  not  perceive  how  his  troops  fell  behind 
And  being  well  mounted, 

He  rode  quite  alone  ; 

And  recklessly  counted 

The  quarry  his  own, 

As  he  dashed  through  the  gate 

Very  proud  and  elate. 


KUBLAI  KHAN.  73 

But  he  found  his  mistake  in  another  half  minute, 
When  the  guards  closed  the  portal  and  closed  him 

within  it. 
Then  the  ladies  came  back  very  joyous  and  gay. 
And  the  Khan  was  their  prisoner  there  in  Kinsai. 


74  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 


CANTO  III. 


The  Empress  sat  on  the  Emperor^s  throne, 

And  the  Emperor's  sceptre  swayed ; 
She  had  sHpped  on  his  trowsers,  too,  over  her  own, 
And  she  gave  her  commands  in  the  despot's  tone ; 
And  every  vassal 
Within  the  castle 
Her  delegate  voice  obeyed. 
Oh !  a  delicate  voice  was  her  delegate  voice. 
And  every  one  made  it  a  matter  of  choice 
To  do  her  behest  as  soon  as  'twas  spoken, 
With  an  eagerness  owing 
In  part  to  his  knowing 
That  else  every  one  of  his  bones  would  be  broken, 
Say  nought  of  his  being  flayed. 


The  Empress  sat  on  the  Emperor'^s  throne. 
And  sent  six  ladies  the  Khan  to  call ; 

"  For  tell  him,"  said  she,  "  I've  a  bit  of  a  bone 
I  would  pick  with  him  here  in  my  audience  hall." 


KUBLAI  KHAN.  75 

The  Khan  was  pleased  when  he  heard  that  say, 
For  he'd  tasted  nothing  since  break  of  day. 
A  pleasant  look  on  the  dames  he  threw, 
And  shook  the  dust  from  his  beard  and  queue ; 
He  looped  his  belt,  but  he  would  not  strap  it  tight 
Since  dinner  was  ready,  and  so  was  his  appetite ; 

And  he  went  to  the  chamber  to  find  the  bone : 
But  when  he  came  there 
The  table  was  bare, 

And  so  the  poor  Khan  had  none. 

lu. 

He  strode  through  the  room,  nowise  forlorn, 

His  step  was  bold  and  free  ; 

Although  he  was  not  in  America  born. 

Yet  a-merry-Khan  was  he. 
Round  his  ankles  and  waist  and  neck  he  bore 
Chain-cable  enough  for  a  seventy  four ; 

Yet  proudly  he  paced  along  : 
And  as  all  such  eastern  heroes  do 
When  they  find  themselves  in  a  bit  of  a  stew, 
To  keep  up  his  pluck, 
In  spite  of  ill  luck, 

Consoled  himself  with  sonsr. 


But  whilst  the  Khan  in  his  fetters. 
Marched  up  the  hall  with  pride. 

Where  the  ladies,  who  proved  his  betters, 
Were  ranged  upon  either  side  ; 


76  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

If  his  little  red  eyes  stood  out  from  his  head, 
It  was  not  with  rage,  it  was  not  with  dread, 
It  was  not  with  hate,  it  was  not  with  scorn, 

It  was  only  with  joy  and  a  large  surprise 
At  the  beautiful  sight,  such  as  since  he  was  born 

Had  never  before  met  his  little  red  eyes ; 
And  he  smiled  as  he  glanced,  with  his  eyes  full  of 

flames, 
At  beautiful  Empress  and  beautiful  dames. 


The  Empress  so  bold  and  her  ladies  so  fair 

Were  exceedingly  taken  with  Kublai  Khan 
They  liked  his  person,  they  liked  his  air. 

And  to  tell  it  in  brief  they  liked  the  man. 
His  jaws  were  wide,  his  forehead  narrow. 
He  seemed  a  person  of  pith  and  marrow : 
And  with  eyes  so  red  and  beard  so  yellow. 
They  thought  him  a  very  delectable  fellow. 

VI. 

Yet  the  Empress  thought  it  fit  and  right 
To  look  very  grave  at  the  Tartar  knight. 
Because,  by  and  by,  by  way  of  a  finis, 
She  purposed  to  hang  his  Tartar  highness. 
She  meant  he  should  hang,  his  neck  reposing 
In  a  silken  twist  of  her  own  composing  : 
And  so  she  considered  the  way  to  behave, 
Would  be,  for  the  present,  to  look  very  grave. 


KUBLAI  KHAN.  77 

VII. 

"  Kublai  Khan,"  the  Empress  said, 
In  a  very  impressive  and  solemn  manner, 

"  Over  our  fertile  land  youVe  sped 
With  bloody  sword  and  flouting  banner  ; 

You  have  seized  our  maidens,  you've  slaughtered 
our  youth, 
You  have  cut  off  the  heads  of  our  aged  sires, 
You've  spoiled  our  cities  and  fields  with  fires ; 

Nor  infants  in  arms  could  move  ye  to  ruth  : 

You  have  poisoned  our  rivers,  and  drained  our  vats. 

And  made  short  work  of  our  rice  and  rats. 

The  punishment  then  the  law  requires 

Is  burning  to  death  with  red-hot  wires ; 

But  since  you  are  brave,  we  all  agree 

Only  to  hang  you  on  yonder  tree. 

Is  there  any  thing,  Khan,  you  can  urge,  of  force 

To  hinder  the  law  in  its  simple  course  ?" 

vni. 

Kublai  Khan  he  stroked  his  beard. 

And  said  very  quietly  "  Who's  afeard  ?" 

He  swelled  up  his  cheek  before  he  would  speak, 

And  scratched  his  nose,  so  knowing  and  sleek. 

To  seem  at  his  ease  he  made  an  endeavour. 

But  felt  Kinsai  was  a  comical  place  ; 
His  eyes  looked  redder  and  harder  than  ever, 

And  stood  rather  farther  out  from  his  face. 
His  case  was  queer ;  hjDwever  'twas  good 
To  put  the  best  face  on  it  he  could ; 
7* 


78  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Nor  had  he  just  then  a  better  at  hand 

Than  that  with  his  two  httle  hard  red  eyes, 

And  a  thick  long  beard,  so  yellow  and  grand. 
Which  gave  him  a  look  very  fierce  and  wise. 

IX. 

"  Dear  lady," — at  last  he  thus  began, 

And  seemed  by  his  smile  to  be  free  from  fear, — 
"  We  oftentimes  put  the  beer  in  a  can. 

But  I  see  you're  for  putting  the  Khan  in  a  bier. 
You  must  do  as  you  please,  most  lovely  flower. 
For  Kublai  Khan  is  in  your  power. 

It  was  rather  unwise 

To  be  caught  by  those  eyes, 
So  green  in  their  hue,  and  so  small  in  their  size ; 

No  doubt  on't : — but  there — 

I  fell  into  the  snare, 
And  it's  often  our  lot  to  be  killed  by  the  fair : 

So, — thus  in  Kinsai, — 

I  have  only  to  say 
That  if  you  adjudge  me  death  my  due, 
I  am  proud,  dear  lady,  to  die  for  you : 
But  an'  if  you  had  not  so  fierce  a  will. 
To  live  for  you  I'd  be  prouder  still. 

X. 

"  That  I've  wasted  your  fields  and  towns  with  fires. 
And  filled  your  streams  with  a  sanguine  die, 

That  I've  cut  the  throats  of  your  youths  and  sires. 
And  eaten  your  rats,  I  can't  deny : 


KUBLAl KHAN.  79 

But  never,  believe  it,  most  beautiful  elf, 
Would  Kublai  Khan  hurt  such  as  yourself." 

XI. 

Now  how  could  it  be  but  the  Empress  fair, 

Now  how  could  it  be  but  her  ladies  bright. 
Now  how  could  it  be  but  each  one  there. 

Should  be  touched  at  these  words  of  the  Tartar 
Knight  ? 
So  they  talked  for  awhile  in  an  under-breath, 
And  to  do  what  they  could 
For  his  comfort  and  good, 
Agreed  to  accord  him  his  choice  of  a  death. 
Whether  to  die  by  maiming  and  mangling. 
Drowning,  burning,  or  choaking  and  dangling. 
And  when  the  Khan  bold  answer  made, 
And  honestly  owned  that,  if  he  might, 
(Since  fighting  e'er  had  been  his  trade,) 
He'd  rather  prefer  to  fall  in  fight, — 
The  ladies  acceded  to  this  proposition. 
And  chosing  three  heroes  of  noble  condition. 
To  slaughter  Khan  Kublai,  they  gave  them  com- 
mission. 

XII. 

These  heroes  were  tall  and  terrible  chaps, 

Of  warlike  fame  untarnished ; 
Two  peacocks'  feathers  in  each  of  their  caps. 

And  their  helms  were  of  pasteboard  varnished ; 


80  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Their  shoulder-guards  and  breast-plates  fair 
Were  made  of  cotton  and  stuffed  with  hair ; 
Their  steps  were  fleet,  and  their  arms  were  strong, 
Their  eyes  were  fierce,  and  their  beards  were  long ; 
And  each,  besides  a  bow  and  a  mace, 

Carried  a  terrible  silken  shield,, 
Pictured  whereon  was  a  hideous  face, 

To  fright  the  foeman  out  of  the  field. 
Each  at  his  back  a  banneret  bore ; 

Through  a  hollow  bamboo  its  staff  was  thrust ; 
And  of  two  placards,  behind  and  before, 

That  called  him  "  Brave,"  and  this  "  Robust."* 

XIII. 

The  chosen  ground  was  the  palace  lawn ; 
The  fence  was  framed,  and  the  swords  were  drawn 
The  three  from  the  East,  the  Khan  from  the  West, 
To  meet  in  the  middle  their  steps  addressed. 

Side  by  side  advanced  the  three, 
All  heroes  of  one  stamp ; 

Side  by  side,  and  knee  by  knee, 
With  very  deliberate  tramp. 
When  they  almost  met  their  Tartar  foe. 

Who  towards  them  came  at  swifter  pace, 
They  stopped  at  once  in  a  fearful  row, 

And  held  their  shields  out  towards  his  face; 
Then  working  secret  wires  within. 
Made  the  terrible  faces  squint  and  grin ; 

*  See  note,  I. 


KUBLAI  KHAN.  81 

And  they  trusted  by  this  decisive  plan 
To  frighten  away  the  Tartar  Khan. 

XIV. 

But  lo !  and  behold !  the  Tartar  Khan 

Was  not  prepared  to  take  the  hint ; 
He  looked  at  the  shields,  that  fearless  man  ! 

And  *'  Ho  !"  said  he,  "  you  may  grin  and  squint !" 
Then  in  both  his  hands  his  sword  raised  he, 
To  shatter  the  shields  of  the  warlike  three. 
This  showed  a  heart  on  the  Tartar's  part, 

For  which  the  three  were  not  prepared  : 
They  stepped  in  a  crack  some  paces  back. 

And  opened  their  mouths  and  eyes,  and  stared. 
"  Why  stay  we  here  ?"  cried  valiant  f'h, 

"  Oh,  fly  we  hence  !"  cried  dauntless  Flee, 
And  in  mighty  dismay 
Shun-Fo  ran  away ; 
I  know  not  which  might  soonest  hie. 

Or  which  was  the  fleetest  of  all  the  three. 


Their  flags  were  all  to  ribands  torn 

By  the  current  of  air,  so  fast  their  flight : 

The  peacock  plumes  from  their  caps  were  borne, 
And  they  showed  no  feather  except  the  white. 

And  as  they  ran  the  bold  placard 

That  proclaimed  them  "brave"  was  their  shield 
and  guard. 

Their  flight  had  turned  it  towards  the  Khan, 

Who  never  perceived  they  were  brave,  till  they  ran. 


82  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

XVI. 

The  Tartar  bold  pursued  their  flight, 

And  cleft  them  down  from  crown  to  heel ; 
And  his  eyes  gleamed  bright  with  his  grim  delight 

As  then  on  his  queue  he  wiped  the  steel. 
He  bowed  to  the  queen  and  her  ladies  fair ; 

His  face  was  flecked  with  spirits  of  gore : 
"  We'll  leave  these  three  to  the  doctor's  care, 

And  now,  sweet  queen,  I  am  ready  for  more." 

XVII. 

Three  more  were  brought,  and  he  slaughtered  them, 

And  then  came  five,  and  those  he  slew ; 
As  you  with  a  knife  cut  a  flowret's  stem, 

As  easily  he  chopped  men  in  two. 
Then  seven,  and  nine,  came  against  him  all ; 

He  hacked  the  whole  of  them  limb  from  limb : 
And  dwarfs  so  strong,  and  giants  so  tall ; 

But  giants  and  dwarfs  were  alike  to  him. 
The  blood  of  his  foes  dripped  down  from  his  nose, 

And  made  his  beard  in  a  gory  trim ; 
And  at  every  blow,  as  he  killed  a  foe, 

He  bowed  to  the  ladies  and  smiled  so  grim. 

xvin. 

Then  the  sons  and  sires,  the  brothers  and  cousins 
Of  those  sweet  ladies  came  into  the  lists, 

And  he  slaughtered  them  all  by  tens  and  dozens ; 
You'd  think  that  the  work  would  have  sprained 
his  wrists. 


KUBLAI  KHAN.  83 

But  Kublai  Khan  was  stout  and  willing, 
And  not  to  be  easily  tired  of  killing : 
He  cut  off  their  heads  spare  time  to  amuse, 
And  roped  them,  like  onions,  up  by  their  queues. 

XIX. 

When  the  Queen  and  her  troop  of  China-roses 
Beheld  the  fate  of  their  lords  and  masters. 
Those  stars  of  fight,  those  China-asters, 

Thus  snipped  by  the  Khan  and  bound  in  posies, 
They  were  filled  with  a  measureless  admiration 
Of  the  terrible  chief  of  the  Tartar  nation. 
And  the  Empress  spake  and  said,  "  O  Khan, 
Since  you've  shown  yourself  such  a  valorous  man, 
And  slain  the  prime  of  our  warriors  thus, 
You  will  not  be  afraid  of  a  match  with  us. 
So  whet  you   your   sword  on  the   edge  of  your 

shield, 
Till  I  and  my  ladies  come  into  the  field. 

XX. 

Kublai  bowed  with  infinite  grace, 

Smiled  in  a  very  bewitching  way, 
Wiped  the  blood  from  off  his  face. 

And  made  reply  to  the  Empress  gay : 
"  O  lady  bold,  0  lady  bright. 

To  slaughter  men  I  have  little  care  ; 
Send  more  of  such  if  you  think  it  right : 

But  I  draw  not  sword  on  dames  so  fair. 


84  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

A  match  with  you  and  your  ladies  sweet, 
Js  what  would  make  my  bliss  complete ; 
But  that  which  thus  would  sweeten  life 
Is  a  match  in  love  and  not  in  strife." 

XXT. 

The  Queen  and  her  beautiful  ladies  laughed ; 
Should  the  Khan  be  killed,  they  would  all  be 
sorrier : 
They  ever  had  loved  the  warrior-craft. 

And  it  made  them  love  the  crafty  warrior. 
They  whispered  some  blame  of  the  Emperor's  flight, 
And   declared   that  that    ought   to    have    kindled 

their  spite : 
So  the  Empress  bowed  low,  with  most  ladylike  ease, 
And  answered,  "  Brave  Khan,  be  it  just  as  you 
please." 

XXII. 

Then  he  danced  them  by  fours,  by  tens,  and  by 

scores. 
Over  charcoal  pots  that  were  set  at  the  doors ; 
The  town  of  Kinsai  was  full  of  delight : 
Oh !  a  wonderful  man  was  the  Tartar  Khan, 
And  he  conquered  in  love  what  he  couldn't  in  fight. 


THE    PORCELAIN    TOWER. 


FASHIONS  IN  FEET; 

OR, 

THE  TALE  OF  THE  BEAUTIFUL  TO-TO.* 


Now  beat  the  drum  and  clatter  the  gong. 
And  kt  us  upraise  our  voices  strong-, 
And  tell  it  aloud  with  music  and  song, 
What  praise  may  well  to  our  dames  belong, — 
That  they're  sure  to  go  right  if  tiiey  can't  go  wrong. 

Ya.Hoo. 

If  any  of  our  lovely  country-women  should 
meet  a  Chinese  lady,  they  would  deem  her 

♦  There  is  little  known  of  Shoo,  the  original  autlior  of  this  his- 
torical romance,  but  that  he  wrote  a  poetical  treatise  on  Boot- 
Making  in  measures  of  two  feet  each.  If  an  inference  may  be 
drawn  from  the  title  of  his  work  he  can  have  ventured  but  ankle- 
deep  into  the  waters  of  the  SingSlo,  the  Chinese  Castaly. 

8 


86  THE  PORCELA.IN  TOWER. 

lot  unblessed: — at  least  the  first  idea  that 
would  occur  to  them  would  be,  that  they 
would  not  stand  in  their  shoes. 

The  Chinese  ladies  do  not  understand 
''long  measure  :"  at  all  events  their  table  is 
peculiar,  as  they  have  but  three  inches  to  a 
foot.  A  curious  fact  in  their  anatomy  is  that 
their  toes  are  bent,  and  twenty  in  number, 
being  doubled  under  the  sole;  thus  even 
though  their  feet  move  forward  their  toes 
go  backwards. 

They  are  extremely  contentious;  they 
cannot  meet  without  scuffling.  Their  walk 
IS  uneasy — they  seem  to  move  with  pain ; 
and  how  should  it  be  otherwise  when  nails 
are  under  their  feet  ? 

Yet,  though  feet  so  diminutive  are  at  pre- 
sent, and  have  been  for  many  centuries  worn 
by  the  celestial  ladies,  this  was  not  always 
the  case.  A  French  postilion  has  been  de- 
scribed as  all  boots :  the  sage  Ya-hoo,  whom 
we  have  quoted  at  the  head  of  this  story, 
spoke  of  the  softer  sex  in  his  time  as  all  slip- 


FASHIONS  IN  FEET.  87 

2)ers  ;  yet  it  is  true  that  even  this  expression 
seems  to  set  them  upon  a  bad  footing. 

Their  feet  were  not  always  so  small.  You 
shall  find  in  Chinese  histories  that  the  Em- 
peror Min-Te,  who  came  to  the  throne  in  the 
thirty-first  year  of  the  sixty-first  cycle,*  had 
a  beautiful  Empress,  To-To,  whose  feet  in 
length  rejoiced  in  their  complement  of  exactly 
twelve  inches.  The  Emperor  loved  his  lady 
with  imperial  measure  of  attachment;  indeed 
lie  regarded  her  single  self  with  more  affec- 
tion than  he  entertained  besides  for  any  two 
of  his  handmaidens :  and  he  would  seldom  ab- 
sent himself  from  her  society  except  when  it 
was  necessary  for  him  to  give  audience, — that 
is  to  smoke  a  quiet  hooka  in  presence  of  his 
ministers, — in  the  celestial  council-chamber- 
The  custom  of  the  country  rendered  it  impos- 
sible that  To-To  should  attend  him  there ;  but 
when  the  formal  conference  was  over,  he 
would  frequently  detain  his  favourite  minis- 
ter, Hum,  in  whose  character  and  wisdom 
he  had  great  confidence,  and  retiring  to  a 

•  A.  D.  931. 


88  THE  PORCELAIN  TOAVER. 

more  snug  apartment,  would  invite  his  Em- 
press to  join  them  in  a  cosy  pipe.  On  such 
occasions,  state  business  was  sometimes  a  se- 
cond time  discussed;  and  the  decisions  of  the 
lesser  council  often  annulled  and  superseded 
those  of  the  greater. 

Min-Te  was  a  lazy  monarch,  and  was  well 
pleased  to  have  all  troublesome  questions  of 
policy  or  justice  arranged  in  a  quiet  manner, 
without  his  intervention :  he  did  not  like  to 
be  obliged  to  decide  between  the  conflicting 
opinions  of  different  ministers;  but  in  these 
agreeable  little  after-councils,  strange  to  say, 
though  a  lady  was  allowed  a  voice  in  them, 
there  was  always  unanimity,  and  seldom  a 
very  lavish  expenditure- of  words.  No  won- 
der that  Min-Te  should  value  a  minister 
whose  simple  eloquence,  and  of  course  great 
argumentative  powers,  sufficed  at  once,  upon 
whatever  subject  they  were  exercised,  to  car- 
ry conviction  even  to  an  Empress.  To  tes~ 
tify  his  great  esteem  for  Hum,  he  ordered 
that  he  should  be  lodged  in  the  palace,  in 
chambers  not  far  distant  from  the  imperial 


FASHIONS  IN  FEET.  89 

apartments.  He  frequently  employed  him 
to  instil  into  the  lovely  To-To  a  proper  sense 
of  all  the  duties  she  should  aim  at  fulfilling 
as  a  woman  and  a  wife  ;  but  above  all,  as  the 
chosen  lady  of  the  Emperor. 

The  beautiful  Empress  received  meekly 
and  graciously  the  lessons  of  virtue  thus  im- 
parted to  her.  Nothing,  to  her  apprehension, 
could  be  more  agreeable  than  the  counsels 
given  by  Hum.  The  Emperor,  looking  on 
at  a  little  distance,  was  over-joyed  at  seeing 
with  how  much  attention  she  listened  to  the 
instructions  of  so  excellent  an  adviser;  and 
when  at  other  times  he  heard  her  discourse 
of  virtue  and  the  duties  of  wifehood,  "  this  is 
all  Hum,"  thought  he.  Thus  she  gained 
still  more  of  his  affection,  and  Hum  of  his  es- 
teem; and  the  fame  of  both  went  abroad 
throughout  all  the  celestial  dominions.  When 
Hum  appeared  in  the  streets  the  people 
flocked  about  him.  "  A  Hum !  a  Hum  !"  they 
cried,  "the  Emperor's  favoured  counsellor. 
Three  cheers  for  a  Hum!"  Then  they 
8* 


90  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

shouted  aloud,  and  no  sound  could  be  heard 
except  "  A  Hum!" 

The  Emperor  was  a  sound  sleeper;  that  is 
to  say,  he  could  sleep  in  spite  of  a  sound.  It 
is  strange  that  a  sound  sleeper  and  a  quiet 
sleeper  should  be  nearly  synonymous  expres- 
sions; not  quite,  indeed,  for  one  who  snores 
may  be  a  sound  sleeper.  The  Empress  was 
a  sound  sleeper  also;  a  very  determined 
sleeper ;  for  she  was  addicted  to  somnambu- 
lism, and  somnambulists  must  be  very  deter- 
mined sleepers. 

From  being  himself  such  a  decided  som- 
nambulist it  was  some  time  before  the  Em- 
peror became  aware  of  his  lady's  peculiarity. 
A  little  whisper,  however, — no  bigger  than  a 
musquito,  which  had  for  several  days  been 
fluttering  about  the  palace,  and  buzzing  into 
people's  ears,  one  morning  came  dancing 
about  his ;  and  having  awhile  piped  into  it  in 
a  very  small  voice,  gave  it  a  sting  which 
caused  considerable  irritation,  then  flew  out 
at  the  window,   and  in  a  short  time  had 


FASHIONS  IN  FEET.  91 

treated  every  mother's  son,  and  no  less  fa- 
ther's daughter,  throughout  the  celestial  do- 
minions, in  nearly  the  same  way. 

That  little  provoking  noise  kept  ringing  in 
his  imperial  music-box,  and  the  smart  con- 
tinued, so  that  his  majesty  at  night  was  quite 
unable  to  sleep ;  but,  in  the  hope,  no  doubt, 
of  bringing  the  customary  drowsy  influence 
upon  him,  he  lay  quite  still,  (by  his  lady's 
side,)  and  breathed  hard,  as  though  he  had 
been  in  slumber. 

He  fell,  by  and  by,  into  a  sort  of  half-doze, 
a  dreamy  mood,  in  which  the  little  tune  of 
the  small  whisper  seemed  to  split  into  two 
parts ;  the  one  consisted  of  a  number  of  mini- 
kin figures  made  up  of  queer  bars  very 
strangely  put  together,  which  kept  dancing 
about  his  closed  eyes ;  the  other  still  sounded 
in  his  ear,  but  its  members  assumed  an  ar- 
ticulate character,  and  the  sounds  and  the 
figures  mutually  interpreted  each  other; 
whilst  the  tune  was  still  discernible  in  the 


92  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

words  and  the  motions  of  the  characters  kept 
time  to  it.     This  was  the  song ; — 

Min-Te,  Min-Te,  Min-Te, 

Oh  Emperor,  bold  and  free ! 
Do  as  I  bid, 
Open  your  lid, 
You'd  better  be  wise  and  see. 
With  a  chee,  chee,  cheee,  chee,  chee,  chee,  chee.*" 
Lest  it  betide  (chee,  chee,) 

That  your  wife  should  creep  (chee,  chee,) 
Away  from  your  side  (chee,  chee,) 

For  she  walks  in  her  sleep  (chee,  chee.) 
With  a  chee,  chee,  chee,  chee,  cheeee,  cheee,  chee. 
And  a   chee,   chee,    cheeee,   cheee,  cheee,   chee, 
cheeeeeeee. 

Min-Te,  Min-Te,  Min-Te, 
Lend  the  loan  of  your  lug  to  me ! 
I'd  have  you  be  wise, 
And  open  your  eyes, 
And  see  what  you  shall  see. 
With  a  chee,  chee,  chee,  chee,  cheee,  chee,  cheee, 
There's  Hum  in  his  bed  (chee,  chee,) 

At  the  end  of  the  gallery,  (chee,) 
Best  cut  off  his  head,  (chee,  chee,) 
Or  at  least  his  salary  (chee.) 

*  I  believe  it  is  cither  Captain  Marryat  or  Captain  Basil  Hall 
who  has  given  a  specimen  of  tlic  Mosquito  language  very  closely 
resembling  this. 


FASHIONS  IN  FEET.  93 

With  a  cheee,  chee,  chee,  chec,  cheee,  cheee,  chee. 
And   a   cheee,   chee,    chee,   chee,    cheee,    cheee, 
cheeeeee. 

And  so  the  song  was  proceeding,  like  the 
moon,  all  made  of  cheese,  when  his  imperial 
majesty  (who  lay  dos-a-dos  with  his  wife,  for 
the  greater  convenience  of  dozing  a  doze,) 
was  suddenly  aroused  to  full  consciousness 
by  a  gentle  pull  of  the  silken  coverlid.  He 
lay  quite  quiet,  (though  a  gnat  at  the  mo- 
ment settled  on  his  nose,)  and  soon  perceived 
that  the  Empress  was  getting  out  of  bed  in 
her  sleep,  and  evidently  taking  the  greatest 
possible  care  not  to  awaken  herself  in  so 
doing.  Having  no  doubt  at  all — none  what- 
ever— not  the  slightest  in  the  world — not  the 
least  possible — that  she  was  altogether  un- 
conscious of  what  she  was  about,  he  thought, 
like  a  kind  Emperor,  that  it  would  be  right 
she  should  be  looked  to,  lest  she  should  break 
her  neck  down  the  stairs  or  out  of  window, 
the  palace  being  two  stories  high ;  and,  as  he 
discovered  that  she  moved  towards  the  door, 
he  rose  from  bed  as  quietly  as  she  had  done, 


94  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

and  followed ;  she  all  the  while  treadinor  as 
noiselessly  as  though  she  were  a  fly,  and  he 
as  though  he  were  a  spider. 

She  proceeded  along  the  gallery,  and 
passed  the  stairs  without  accident ;  and  she 
had  arrived  almost  at  the  bottom  of  the  cor- 
ridor, when  the  Emperor,  alarmed  lest  she 
might  make  a  false  step,  (a  fox-paw,  as  the 
French  express  it,)  seized  her  by  throwing 
his  left  arm  round  her  waist ;  at  the  same  mo- 
ment placing  his  right  hand  over  her  mouth, 
to  prevent  that  natural  utterance  of  alarm 
which  might  be  expected  from  a  lady  sud- 
denly awakened  under  such  circumstances. 
Startled  she  was,  and  she  certainly  would 
have  screamed,  had  it  not  been  for  his  pre- 
caution. Being  quite  in  the  dark,  both  as  to 
where  she  was,  and  as  to  who  had  laid  such 
violent  hand  upon  her,  you  may  imagine  how 
greatly  she  was  frightened.  She  struggled 
to  ^et  loose,  though  still  without  making 
much  noise;  indeed,  she  thought  that  it 
would  not  be  amiss  if  she  could  get  back  to 
her  chamber  as  quietly  as  she  came  thence. 


FASHIONS  IN  FEET.  95 

But  this  was  not  to  be;  for  the  prime  minis- 
ter Hum,  who,  with  what  truth  I  cannot  pre- 
tend  to  say,  had  the  reputation  of  being  at  all 
times  wide  awake,  was  not  asleep  upon  the 
present  occasion;  and  hearing,  with  his  pair 
of  very  acute  ears,  a  little  scuffling  in  the 
gallery,  he  opened  the  door  of  his  apartment 
which  was  close  to  the  scene  of  action.  He 
had  apparently  been  engaged  in  study;  for  he 
held  in  his  hand  a  lighted  lantern,  the  light  of 
which  he  now  directed  upon  the  pair  in  the 
corridor.  The  instant  he  saw  them,  how- 
ever, it  dropped  from  his  hand ;  and  closing 
and  fastening  the  door  with  all  possible  cele- 
rity, he  jumped  upon  his  bed,  coiled  himself 
into  a  circle  less  than  his  waist  in  diameter 
drew  the  clothes  over  him  in  a  heap,  and  lay 
without  moving,  breathing,  or  letting  his 
beard  grow,  till  the  morning  light  had  filled 
his  apartment. 

During  the  moment  that  a  gleam  from  the 
lantern  had  been  thrown  upon  them,  To-To 
became  aware  that  it  was  only  the  Emperor 
who  had  frightened  her  so  much  in  the  dark  ; 


96  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

and  of  course  much  delighted  at  this  disco- 
very, and  her  fears  all  banished  thereby,  she 
immediately  returned  to  the  imperial  apart- 
ment. 

"  My  dearest  To-To,"  said  his  imperial 
majesty,  as  they  entered,  "  I  was  not  till  now- 
aware  that  you  were  a  somnambulist.  Why 
did  you  never  mention  to  me  that  you  were 
so  afflicted?  I  would  have  had  a  gold  collar 
made  to  surround  your  ankle,  and  a  chain 
and  lock  to  secure  you  to  the  bed.  I  myself 
would  have  kept  the  key,  so  dearly  do  I  ten- 
der your  safety." 

"  I  had  hoped,"  she  replied,  "that  my  at- 
tachment to  your  sacred  majesty  would  al. 
ways  have  exercised  the  counteracting  influ- 
ence which  it  has  hitherto  done,  and  have 
overcome  entirely  the  infirmity  to  which  I 
was  formerly  subject.  I  have  no  fear  of 
another  attack,  and  I  think  the  gold  chain 
therefore  will  be  quite  unnecessary." 

"  As,  however,  you  are  restless  to-night," 
said  the  Emperor,  "I  will  secure  you  for  the 
present  with  this  strap.     Stay,  let  me  pass  it 


FASHIONS  IN  FEET.  97 

round  you.  There,  that  will  do — nay,  one 
pull  more — uh,  uh — you  can't  move  now,  1 
think.  That's  just  the  thing — the  lock  is 
famous — so — and  here  goes  the  key.  Don't 
be  afraid ;  you  can't  roll  down.  And  now, 
as  I'm  rather  of  the  sleepiest,  good  night, 
dearest  madam.  Indeed  this  sleep-walking 
is  a  terrible  thing ;  but  we'll  say  no  more 
about  that  till  the  morning." 

He  had  scarcely  finished  speaking  before 
he  was  fast  asleep ;  but  poor  To-To  could  not 
get  to  sleep  at  all,  for  she  was  almost  cut  in 
two  by  the  strap  he  had  fastened  round  her. 

In  the  morning  the  Emperor  liberated  his 
wife ;  but  he  did  not  revert  to  the  subject  of 
sleep-walking  till  after  he  had  finished  his 
morning  devotions  and  meal. 

He  sent  for  her  then ;  and  when  she  came 
into  his  presence  he  asked  if  she  remembered 
the  circumstances  of  the  preceding  night. 
She  confessed  that  she  had  some  confused 
recollection  of  a  dream,  in  w^hich  she  had 
imagined  that,  after  her  beloved  lord  had 
been  a  long  time  absent  from  her,  whilst 


98  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

pining  for  his  return,  she  suddenly  beheld 
him  walking  towards  her,  at  a  distance  in  the 
garden ;  and  that  in  the  affection  of  her  heart 
she  had  gone  forth  to  meet  him,  and  to  wel- 
come him  home.     She  was,  accordingly,  has- 
tening down  the  long  walk,  when  a  black 
dragon  flew  out  of  the  canal  by  which  it  was 
bordered,  and  coiled  suddenly  around  her. 
Thatshe  was  mortally  frightened  thereat,  and, 
with  the  greatest  presence  of  mind,  resolved 
on  the  instant  to  utter  a  loud  scream ;  but 
that  the  black  dragon  put  one  of  its  terrible 
paws  upon  her  mouth,  and  prevented  this. 
On  partially  awakening  about  that  time,  what 
was  her  satisfaction  at  discovering  that  the 
black  dragon  was  no  other  than  the  Emperor 
himself. 

Her  compassionate  lord  endeavoured  to 
console  her  with  the  suggestion  that  some  re- 
medy might  possibly  be  found  for  this  unfor- 
tunate habit:  and  he  questioned  her  as  to 
whether  there  was  any  manner  in  which  she 
could  at  all  account  for  her  being  thus 
afflicted.     In  answer  to  this,  she  expressed  a 


FASHIONS  IN  FEET.  99 

suspicion  that  her  mamma  had  been  partly 
concerned ;  and  she  told  some  long  story  to 
substantiate  this  view :  but  that  I  consider 
little  worthy  our  attention,  as  she  made  the 
facts  a  few  weeks  older  than  herself,  and 
might  therefore  be  supposed  to  know  but 
little  of  the  matter.  She  afterwards,  how- 
ever, put  the  thing  in  a  more  philosophical 
light,  when  she  said,  that  her  habits  being 
sedentary  and  her  feet  large,  the  latter,  she 
thought,  had  not  a  proper  proportion  of  exer- 
cise during  the  day ;  and  thus  made  up  se- 
cretly for  the  deficiency  at  night,  when  they 
knew  that  she  v^^as  sleeping,  and  unable  con- 
sequently to  keep  a  look  out  upon  their  mo- 
tions. 

Now  here  let  it  be  mentioned  that  large 
feet  in  the  days  of  Min-Te  were  as  necessary 
to  the  ideal  of  female  loveliness  throughout 
the  celestial  dominions,  as  small  feet  have 
been  ever  since;  and  that  Min-Te  himself 
had  chosen  the  delectable  To-To  as  the  wife 
of  his  bosom  chiefly  on  account  of  her  felici- 
ties in   that  department   of    the  beautiful. 


100  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Nevertheless,  when  his  lady  declared  her 
conviction  that  with  premeditation  those  her 
lovely  members  walked  away  with  her  in 
such  an  inexcusable  manner,  he  could  not 
restrain  himself  from  uttering  a  malediction 
against  them.  This  malediction  was  ex- 
pressed in  three  words ;  but  the  nib  of  my 
pen  turns  this  way  and  that  and  refuses  to 
write  the  first :  "  their  soles"  were  the  other 
two. 

Min-Te  then  informed  his  lady  that  it  had 
come  to  his  knowledge  that,  though  he 
doubted  not  she  was  quite  unconscious  of 
the  fact,  the  little  excursion  she  had  taken 
the  past  night  was  by  no  means  the  first  she 
had  made  in  the  same  direction  ;  and  he  con- 
sidered that  if  she  walked  at  all  that  was  the 
wrong  way,  and  this  he  disapproved  in  To- 
To. 

But  To-To  expressed  great  satisfaction  at 
hearmg  this,  as  she  said  that  actions  done  in 
sleep  always  went  by  a  rule  of  contrary,  and 
that  her  walking  the  wrong  way  in  a  dream 
was  the  most  lucid  of  all  possible  proofs  that 


FASHIONS  IN  FEET.  101 

her  ways  were  always  correct  in  her  waking 
hours. 

Could  the  Emperor  do  otherwise  than  bow 
to  the  force  of  such  argument?  He  highly 
applauded  his  lady,  and  assured  her  of  his 
perfect  confidence  in  her  waking  excellence. 
Yet  he  confessed  that  his  strong  conviction 
of  this  was  in  itself  a  source  of  disquiet  to 
his  mind ;  for  she  had  clearly  demonstrated 
that  it  would  be  the  occasion  of  her  always 
going  wrong  in  sleep.  It  was  his  wish,  if 
possible,  that  this  might  be  avoided;  and 
the  only  mode  which  occurred  to  him  of  es- 
caping from  the  dilemma  was  to  prevent  her 
from  going  at  all.  How  to  effect  this?  He 
wished  heartily  that  her  feet  had  not  grown 
since  infancy,  as  she  then  would  not  have 
taken  to  sleep-walking;  but  they  had,  and 
what  was  to  be  done?  Min-Te  was  an  in- 
ventive genius;  he  hit  upon  an  admirable 
plan  :  he  sent  for  a  cook  and  a  cleaver,  and 
had  these  offending  members  chopped  six 
inches  shorter.  The  cure  was  complete :  it 
is  confidently  stated  that  To-To  never  more 
9* 


102  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

walked  in  her  sleep ;  and  I  recommend  all 
somnambulists  to  try  the  efficiency  of  Min- 
Te's  invention. 

The  Emperor  next  wished  a  private  con- 
ference with  his  prime  minister.  Hum  had 
not  yet  arisen,  and  the  messengers  had  to 
seek  him  in  his  chamber.  They  found  him 
nearly  in  the  attitude  in  which  he  lay  when 
we  wished  him  good  night ;  but  when  they 
endeavoured  to  arouse  him,  they  discovered 
that  he  had  choked  himself  by  swallowing 
his  pigtail. 

A  proclamation  went  abroad  throughout 
the  empire  that  the  most  honoured  and  ex- 
emplary Empress,  the  lantern  of  beauty  and 
steel-yard  of  ceremony,  had  set  the  fashion  of 
short  feet;  and  though  it  was  not  absolutely 
required  that  all  the  ladies  of  the  land  should 
conform  to  this  mode,  it  was  imperative  on 
all  parents  to  wrap  up  the  feet  of  their  fe- 
male children  in  such  ligatures  of  cotton, 
silk,  leather,  or  brass,  as  should  effectually 
prevent  the  future  growth  of  the  pedal  bones 
and  ligaments,  the  toes  being  bent  inwards 


FASHIONS  IN  FEET.  103 

towards  the  sole  ;  "for,"  said  the  edict,  "as 
the  toes  of  women  have  a  natural  bias  to  go 
wrong,  it  is  proper  that '  they  should  be 
turned  the  opposite  way." 

The  name  of  the  Empress — To-To  signi- 
fying "  Long-Foot," — had  become  inappli- 
cable; nor  could  it  be  desirable  for  an  impe- 
rial lady,  when  length  of  foot  had  ceased  to 
be  among  the  elements  of  female  beauty :  the 
Emperor  therefore  changed  it  to  Fo-Paw, 
which  may  be  Englished  as  "  One  who 
walks  the  wrong  way." 

Min-Te  and  Fo-Paw  thenceforth  lived 
ever  happily.*  The  wisdom  of  Min-Te  is 
much  spoken  of  in  this  day,  and  he  is  ac- 
counted one  of  the  greatest  benefactors  of  his 
country  ;  for  the  Chinese  are  of  opinion  that 
their  wives  have  walked  much  more  steadily 
since  they  lost  the  use  of  their  feet. 

*  This  is  perhaps  the  less  rctnarkablc  aa  the  whole  reign  of  the 
Ten-Thousand-Years, — such  is  one  of  the  lilies  of  the  Emperors 
of  China, — did  not  c.\tend  beyond  twelve  calendar  months. 


THE    PORCELAIN    TOWER. 


HYSON  AND  BOHEA. 


INTRODUCTION. 

"  The  Tea-tree,"  of  Tee-to-Tum,  is  the 
most  celebrated  of  all  Chinese  didactic  poems, 
and  is  one  of  those  great  and  elaborate  works 
to  the  production  of  which  the  labour  of  a  life 
is  necessary.  The  story  of  Hyson  and  Bohea, 
of  which  the  following  must  be  looked  upon 
as  somewhat  a  free  translation,  may  be  con- 
sidered as  perhaps  the  most  pathetic  of  its 
episodes. 

Tee-to-Tum  did  not  misemploy  his  genius, 


HYSON  AND  BOHEA.  105 

and  his  toil  was  not  ill-rewarded ;  for  "  The 
VTea-Tree"  may  be  considered  the  great  na- 
tional poem  of  the  Chinese. 

The  history  of  Tee-to-Tum  is  somewhat 
remarkable.  It  is  related  that  he  was  cra- 
dled in  a  tea-chest,  and  that  tea  not  only 
formed  his  earliest  diet,  but  that  through  life 
he  took  no  other  nourishment.  He  lived  in 
a  retired  tea-garden  in  the  district  of  Sing- 
te;  his  house  and  furniture  were  formed  of 
tea  wood,  and  the  dry  branches  of  tea-trees 
served  him  as  fuel.  He  lived  to  a  green  old 
age,  and  his  death  was  occasioned  by  an  ac- 
cident similar  to  that  which  terminated  the 
days  of  Anacreon,  only  that  the  Chinese  poet 
was  choked,  not  by  a  grape-stone,  but  a  tea- 
stalk. 

His  poem  is  very  voluminous,  being  divided 
into  two  hundred  books,  or,  as  he  calls  them, 
branches.  Each  branch  comprises  full  a  thou- 
sand "leaves;"  not  indeed  leaves  of  two  pages 
each;  but  the  single  verses  of  Tee-to-Tum 
are  called  "  tea-leaves"  by  the  people  of  the 


106  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Celestial  Land.  His  industry  was  remark- 
able :  not  a  day  passed  without  his  adding  to 
or  correcting  his  poem. 

"  Te  veniente  die,  te  decendente  canebat." 


HYSON  AND  BOHEA, 


Of  the  love  that  upsprung 
In  the  fair  and  the  young, 
Let  the  sorrows  be  sung 
By  most  musical  Tung." 


TVKO. 


Pour  forth,  O  Muse  !*  thine  iufluence  let  me  win .' 
O  let  me  draw  thee !  let  me  drink  thee  in  ! 
Warm  thou  my  tongue  with  spirit  clear  and  strong, 
And  from  thy  kettle  breathe  the  steam  of  song : 
Gently  uplift  thy  dewy  lid  and  see 
The  fancied  forms  of  Hyson  and  Bohea  ; 
Imbue  my  lips  their  mournful  fates  to  tell, 
Whilst  flow  hot  streams  for  two  that  loved  so  well. 

Love,  wondrous  smith!  who  fashions  chains  from 
looks, 
And  from  mere  eyes  can  form  both  eyes  and  hooks, 

»  The  Muse  of  Tea,  whom  the  poet  invokes  at  intervals  through. 
out  his  poem,  and  whom  we  have  invoked  at  the  commencement 
of  this  volume. 


108  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Had  linked  their  hearts  the  hour  that  first  they  met, 
Had  hnked  their  hearts  with  Unks  that  bound  them 

yet. 
In  lonely  glen  their  constant  love  began, 
And,  first  by  chance,  oft  since  they  met  by  plan. 

In  sooth  they  were  a  goodly  pair  to  see  ; 
Hyson  was  fat,  and  beauteous  was  Bohea : 
And  none  in  all  the  province  could  compare 
With  the  sleek  Hyson,  or  Bohea  the  fair. 
Both  born  and  bred  away  from  city's  scene. 
Though  town-bred  youth  might  call  young  Hyson 

green, 
Though  town-bred  dames  with  scornful  eyes  might 

see, 
And  dub  his  country  love,  "  poor,  weak,  Bohea," 
Enough  for  them  the  charms  within  their  reach. 
Enough  for  them  that  each  was  loved  by  each. 

Yet  'neath  some  evil  star  their  love  arose  : 
Though  they  were  dearest  friends  their  sires  were 

foes. 
The  cause  of  their  dear  friendship  is  not  hidden — 
Both  young,  both  comely,  and  their  love  forbidden  : 
The  cause  their  sires  were  foes  is  still  more  plain — 
Both  had  one  trade,  and  both  lived  in  one  lane. 
One  village  lane  some  ly  from  Nanking's  walling ; 
And  manufacturing  porcelain  was  their  calling  ; 
Both  shone  in  that  like  two  superior  stars, 
And  so  between  them  they  had  m^ny  jars. 


HYSON  AND  BOIIEA.  109 

Old  age  and  youth  ! — oh  !  that  is  formed  for  strife, 
This — this  for  love,  the  bird's-nest  soup  of  life  !* 
And  should  the  truth  before  those  sires  be  set, 
How  well  their  children  loved,  how  oft  they  met, 
Not  locusts,  dragons,  Tartars  could  compare 
With  the  fierce  wrath  of  that  gray-pigtail'd  pair. 

But  with  a  cautious  care  the  maid  and  spark 
Deceived  their  sires,  and  kept  them  in  the  dark ; 
Made  assignations  with  a  code  of  signs ; 
Oft  met  by  moonhght  among  groves  and  vines. 

The  days  pass'd    on, — the  nights  flew  likewise 
by;- 
Weeks  past,  and  months-:  and  still  they  met  to  sigh 
And  dream  of  bUss.     Young  Hyson  !  fond  Bohea  ! 
In  vain  ye  dream  of  bliss  that  must  not  be. 

One  night, — that  gloomy  night  no  batf  would  flit. 
But  crows  around  flew  late  and  oft  alit, 
And  winds  breathed  loud  in  melancholy  wail, — 
A  treacherous  friend  had  told  their  tender  tale. 
A  treacherous  friend,  to  whom  Bohea  confessed 
With  too  fond  trust  the  secrets  of  her  breast, — 
Though  bound  to  silence  by  the  holiest  oath, 
That  friend,  too  treacherous,  had  betray'd  them  both ; 
Told  more,  much  more  than  need  the  muse  repeat, 
And  where  they  met,  and  where  they  next  should 
meet. 

♦  See  note,  K.  t  See  note  L. 

10 


110  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Bohea  had  told  her  all,  and  told  her  true : 
Bohea  knew  not  that  friend  loved  Hyson  too. 

Unwise  Bohea !  your  error  now  is  learn'd ; 
Too  soon  committed,  and  too  late  discerned ; 
Too  soon  you  trusted,  and  too  late  you  vex : 
Yet  not  in  you  the  fault,  but  in  your  sex. 
Each  fair  one  of  some  secret  thus  possest, 
Whilst  all  the  charge  is  hers,  can  take  no  rest; 
So,  prizing  it  more  dearly  than  her  peepers, 
To  make  it  safer,  finds  it  several  keepers. 

That  night,  that  gloomy  night,  that  night  of  mist, 
Bohea  and  Hyson  sought  their  place  of  tryst : 
Bowered  with  green  leaves,  and  far  from  haunts  of 

men. 
That  place  of  tryst  was  no  trist  place  till  then. 

They  rushed  to  meet, — they  almost  met ;  delight 
Was  in  their  looks.  How  was't  they  met  not  quite? 
What  was't  that  check'd  their  speed  at  once  and 

joy' 
And  made  them  pause, — that  maiden  and  her  boy  ? 

For  such  effect  cause  strong  and  good  was  there : 
One  hand  had  grasped  Bohea  by  her  long  hair. 
And  kept  her  from  her  love, — the  fond,  the  true : 
And  one  stern  fist  held  Hyson  by  the  queue. 


HYSON  AND  BOHEA.  Ill 

Their  bliss  was  balk'd,  their  hearts  were  fill'd  with 

doubt, 
Their  heads  were  hurt,  and  both  shriek'd  loudly 

out! 

Yes,  'twas  their  sires :  their  sires  had  heard  their 

tale 
From  that  false  friend, — and  both  with  rage  turn'd 

pale ; 
But  both  resolved  to  learn  the  story's  truth, 
Ere  one  condemned  the  maid,  or  one  the  youth. 
With  this  intent  they  both  iiad  sought  that  spot : 
Oh,  fair  Bohea's  and  Hyson's  evil  lot ! 
Just  ere  they  met, — alas,  too  faithful  pair  ! 
Those  two  sprang  forth,  and  seized  them  by  the  hair. 
By  hers  Bohea's  stern  father  dragged  her  home, 
And  question'd  as  they  went  how  dared  she  roam 
To  meet  young  sparks  by  moonlight  in  a  glen, 
And  why  that  youth,  of  all  the  race  of  men  ? 
Arrived  at  home,  he  tied  her  to  a  post 
By  those  sweet  locks  young  Hyson  prized  the  most ; 
Removed  her  scissors  from  the  unhappy  fair, 
And  bound  her  hands,  lest  these  unbind  her  hair ; 
Withheld  her  rice  and  pipe,  and  barr'd  her  door. 
Until  she  vow'd  she  ne'er  would  do  so  more. 

And  Hyson's  father  let  not  him  go  free. 
But  brought  him  home,  and  strapp'd  him  to  a  tree 
By  his  long  queue, — ah  me,  that  it  would  moult ! 
For,  fasten'd  by  that  lock,  he  could  not  bolt. 


112  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Then  as  a  thresher  whirls  round  in  a  trice 
The  ponderous  flail*  and  thrashes  out  the  rice, 
So,  whirling  round  his  head  a  stout  bamboo, 
He  thrash'd  his  son :  his  son  who  dared  to  woo. 
The  youth,  when  'gainst  his  ears  he  felt  the  cane, 
(Against  his  ears  was  much  against  the  grain,) 
Shriek'd  out  an  oath  he'd  never  do't  again. 

That  self-same  night,  when  all  were  lock'd  in 
sleep, 
The  sad  Bohea,  who  stay'd  awake  to  weep, 
Rose  from  her  couch,  and  lest  her  shoes  might  klop, 
"Padded  the  hoof"  and  sought  her  father's  shop. 
High  in  the  midst  a  tea-pot  huge  was  placed. 
Of  finest  porcelain  and  superior  taste ; 
In  forming  which  it  was  her  sire's  fond  aim 
To  win  at  once  more  custom  and  more  fame. 
So  water-pots,  and  boots  of  giant  size 
Oft  hang  from  shops  to  attract  the  passer's  eyes, 
To  turn  it  to  some  use,  besides  mere  show. 
Just  at  this  time  he  made  it  a  depot 
For  certain  tea,  some  four-and-twenty  lbs. 
Dried  by  himself — the  produce  of  his  grounds. 
There  came  Bohea,  the  beautiful !  the  sweet ! 
And  standing  on  the  tips  of  her  small  feet, 
Scarce  knowing  what  to  do  or  how  begin, — 
She  lifted  up  the  cover,  and  look'd  in. 

*  Sec  note,  M. 


HYSON  AND  BOHEA.  113 

Then  went   she  thence, — she  was  her   father's 
daughter, — 
And,  one  by  one,  fetch'd  several  pails  of  water, 
And  emptied  in ; — but  slow  the  liquid  rose, 
And  soon  she  brought  this  labour  to  a  close. 
"  Oh  !  vain,"  she  cried,  "  with  destiny  to  cope ! 
This  tea-pot,  too,  was  formed  to  balk  my  hope. 
At  such  a  rate  as  this,  oh  !  Fortune's  spite  ! 
I  scarce  should  fill  it  should  1  toil  all  night. 
I  hoped  in  this  to  bid  my  sorrows  flee ; 
But  fate  forbids.     Unfortunate  Bohea  !" 

She  clasp'd  her  fair  hands  like  some  stage  adept, 
Lean'd  on  the  porcelain,  raised  her  eyes  and  wept. 
The  tears  went  down  her  cheeks  in  such  array 
As  floods  roll  down  when  river-banks  give  way. 
Oh  !  joy,  Bohea  !  thy  woes  shall  find  their  bar : 
Those  tears  in  quick  streams  gush'd  into  the  jar : 
So  hot  they  fell,  so  large,  and  fast,  and  free, 
They  fill'd  the  porcelain  pot, — and  made  the  tea. 
"  Is't  true  ?"  she  cried.     •'  Then  Fo  hath  heard  my 

prayer — 
Come  back,  sweet  Hope!  and   hence,  far   hence. 

Despair ! 
If  but  my  act  shall  prompt  the  youth  I  love. 
Though  parted  here,  we  soon  may  meet  above.* 
So  now  of  friends  and  foes  I  take  my  leave. 
And  drown  myself  to  make  my  father  grieve." 

*  See  note,  N, 

10* 


114  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

She  climb'd  a  chair  beside  the  tea-pot's  brim ; 
She  plunged — she  sank — alas !  she  could  not  swim. 
White  gleam'd  her  robes  amid  the  watery  gleam — 
The  stream  arose — her  breath  rose  with  the  stream. 
No  corks  were  there,  no  bladders,  and  no  stick ; 
Three  times  she  kick'd,  and  then  she  ceased  to  kick ; 
Strong  was  the  tea-pot,  and  in  vain  she  struck  it, 
And  her  last  kick  kick'd  that,  and  kick'd  the  bucket. 
As  leaves  of  tea,  long  twisted  and  curl'd  up, 
Swell  and  unrol  in  tea-pot  or  in  cup, — 
Though  downward  bent  her  toes  had  long  perforce 

lain. 
She  turn'd  them  up  in  that  sad  piece  of  porcelain. 

Perchance  this  tale  improbable  appears ; 
Yet  think  how  often  maids  are  drown'd  in  tears. 
Then  deem  it  true,  and  weep  for  poor  Bohea, — 
First  drown'd  in  tears, — then  both  in  tears  and  tea. 

Young  Hyson  heard — for  ill  news  travels  fast — 
Young  Hyson  heard — young  Hyson  stood  aghast. 
He  swore,  he  raved,  he  stamp'd,  he  tore  his  hair, — 
That  one  long  lock, — he  scream'd, — he  cursed  the 

chair 
That  help'd  her  up,— he  cursed  his  evil  lot — 
He  curs'd  the  tea,  he  also  cursed  its  pot. 
He  strove  to  weep, — but  strove  to  weep  in  vain, — 
There  seem'd  to  glow  hot  lava  in  his  brain, 
Volcano  fires  before  his  eyes  to  start. 
And  more  than  earthquake  to  convulse  his  heart. 


HYSON  AND  BOHEA.  115 

He  strove  to  speak — but,  oh  !  no  voice  would  come  •, 
He  strove  again — his  words  were  "  Ha  "  and  "  Hum." 
Once  more  he  strove ; — at  last  the  fetters  broke 
That  bound  his  speech, — he  strove  to  speak, — and 
spoke : — 

*'  Oh !  thou  white  lump  of  sugar  !*  thrown  too 
soon 
To  sweeten  tea — (ah  !  would  I  were  thy  spoon  !) — 
Thou  for  whose  sake  my  grief  must  ever  keep  hot. 
Why  didst  thou  fall  in  that  detested  tea-pot  ? 
Alas  !  no  power  may  bring  her  back  to  life, 
Who  was  my  love,  who  should  have  been  my  wife — 
Away  with  words,  with  life — in  brief,  with  breath — 
Nought  now  is  left  worth  living  for,  save  death ! 
Tiiough  foes  should  gladden,  and  though  friends 

should  weep. 
If  fires  be  hot,  knives  sharp,  or  opium  cheap, 
If  wolves  be  fierce,  wells  deep,  or  girdles  strong, 
Then  farewell,  life ! — thou  shalt  not  hold  me  long." 

Thus  spoke  the  youth :  then  rose  from  where  he 
sat. 
And  rush'd  away — the  wind  bore  off  his  hat, — 
He  heeded  not — he  rush'd,  and  on  the  wind 
His  clothes  flew  out,  his  pigtail  stream'd  behind : — 

*  This  metaphorical  apostrophe,  which  occurs  iii  the  original  of 
Tee-to-Tum,  is  the  more  remarkable,  as  the  Chinese  arc  not  in 
the  habit  of  taking  sugar  in  their  tea. 


116  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Long,  black,  and  fluttering  with  his  speed  it  stream'd, 
And  head  and  pigtail  some  huge  tadpole  seem'd, 
Or  comet  grim,  dread  potent  of  the  skies, — 
Its  tail  the  pigtail,  and  its  light  his  eyes. 

Thus  on  he  flew,  and  did  not  turn,  or  stop. 
Or  pause,  till,  lo  !  he  reached  a  blacksmith's  shop — 
There  check'd  his  steps.     "  Hillo  !"  but  no  reply — 
"  What,  hoa !  who  waits  ?" — his  loud  voice  rent 

the  sky. 
Dread  silence  follow'd, — and  his  bold  heart  sunk, 
"  Sure  those  within  must  be  asleep  or  drunk." 
He  first  peep'd  in, — then  enter 'd, — but  could  find 
None,  save  one  old  man,  almost  deaf  and  blind. 
"  Father  !"    he    cried  ; — the    old    man    answer'd 

"Son!"— 
"  Have  you  an  axe  ?" — the  sage  replied, "  Here's 

one."—  » 

"The  price?"  he  asked.     "Three  mace."     "I  'II 

give  you  two." 
— "  Enough."    He  seized  it,  paid,  and  on  he  flew. 

Not  far  from  thence — from  thence  it  might  be 
seen — 
There  grew  a  tea-tree,  of  the  sort  called  green  : 
To  that  he  bent  his  flight,  and  there  he  found 
One  branch  that  grew  breast-high  above  the  ground. 
He  cut  it  mid-way  through — part  fell  down  flump, 
And  part  was  left  outstanding  from  the  stump. 
The  first  he  dragg'd  away,  and  threw  aside ; 


HYSON  AND  BOHEA.  117 

The  last  he  sharpen'd  with  the  tool :  then  cried, 
•*  Oh  !  worst  of  all  plant-kind  !  malignant  tea  ! 
Since  my  sweet  girl,  my  all-beloved  Bohea, 
For  whom  have  I  such  bitter  cause  to  grieve, 
Amid  thy  lifeless  leaves  of  life  took  leave  ; 
What  better  course  could  be,  what  wiser  plan 
Devised  for  me — oh  !  most  unhappy  man  ! 
To  leave  a  world  of  which  my  soul  is  sick, 
Than  on  thy  stick  thus  cut,  to  cut  my  stick  !" 

He  said  and  moving  some  few  paces  back 
To  gain  a  run,  he  made  his  girdle  slack, 
And  bared  his  breast : — then  raising  to  the  skies 
His  hands,  he  oped  his  mouth,  and  closed  his  eyes, 
Breathed  out  one  last  sigh  for  his  love's  sweet  sake, 
Cried  "  Oh,  Bohea  !"  and  rush'd  upon  the  stake. 
The   stake  went   through  between   his  lights   and 

liver — 
He  gave  four  kicks,  two  screeches,  and  one  quiver — 
He  felt  the  sharp  wood  in  his  vital  parts. 
And  in  that  quiver  seem'd  ten  thousand  darts. 
"  Oh  Fo !"  he  cried,  or  ere  his  eyes  grew  dim — 
"  Oh  Fo !"  he  cried,  and  Fo  gave  ear  to  him — 
"  Oh  Fo !"  he  cried,  "  be  not  a  foe  to  me, 
But  draw  me  hence,  yet,  yet  my  love  to  see. 
Since  early  death  thus  bliss  on  earth  denies, 
Oh  !  let  us  meet  and  mingle  in  the  skies. 
And  though  our  parents  hearts  have  yet  been  hard, 
Whence   our   fond   hearts   were  each   from   each 
debarr'd, 


118  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Grant  that  they  now  may  sorrow  o'er  our  doom, 
And  lay  our  bones  together  in  one  tomb, 
And  write  our  tale,  that  all  our  fates  may  know !" 
This  said,  young  Hyson  was  absorb'd  in  Fo. 

Her  parents  in  the  tea-pot  found  Bohea — 
They  drew  the  body  thence,  and  saved  the  tea. 
Rich  store,  in  well-cork'd  jars,  for  livelong  weeks. 
But  tears  meanwhile  bedew'd  their  tender  cheeks ; 
And  much  they  wish'd,  when  every  wish  was  vain, 
They  ne'er  had  parted  that  most  faithful  twain. 
And  Hyson's  parents  found  him  on  the  stake — 
A  sight  to  make  their  fond  hearts  yearn  and  ache ; — 
Hung  up,  ah  me !  in  every  breeze  to  spin, 
Like  windmill's  sails,  or  chafers  on  a  pin. 
They  moved  him  thence — they  laid  him  in  a  shell — 
They  learn'd  the  fate  of  her  he  loved  so  well. 
They,  too,  at  last  relented — but  too  late ; 
And  feeling  guilty,  threw  the  blame  on  fate. 

Then  well-writ  notes  and  courteous  messages 
Pass'd  between  Hyson's  father  and  Bohea's. 
Old  fueds  forgot,  they  clear'd  their  brows  of  gloom, 
And  both  subscribed  to  build  one  common  tomb. 
Even  on  that  spot  where  met  those  thralls  of  love, 
One  half  beneath  the  ground,  and  half  above. 
Of  tea-pot  shape  'twas  built,  but  partly  hid. 
And  the  roof  fashion'd  like  a  tea-pot  lid. 
The  whole  when  lined  with  finest  porcelian  clay. 
There  in  two  chests,  Bohea  and  Hyson  lay. 


HYSON  AND  BOHEA.  119 

A  plant  of  tea  was  set  on  either  side ; 

This  green — the  sort  on  which  young  Hyson  died ; 

That  black — a  kind  since  far  and  wide  renown'd, 

In  whose  infusion  fair  Bohea  was  drown'd. 

The  plants  grew  well,  and,  rich  in  leaf  and  bloom, 

The  branches  mingled  o'er  the  lovers'  tomb  ; 

Whence  those   two   species,  from   those   days   to 

these 
Have  borne  the  names  of  Hysons  and  Boheas. 
Still  maids  and  lovers  to  that  tomb  repair 
To  plight  the  vows  of  fond  affection  there ; 
Kneel  by  the  grave,  or  lift  their  hands  above 
To  pluck  the  sprigs  as  talismans  of  love ; 
And  gentle  brides,  their  husbands'  hearts  to  fix, 
Of  those  two  kinds  the  cup  of  union  mix. 
Ne'er  had  the  fond  pair  known  that  state  divine, 
"  Where  transport  and  security  entwine  ;" 
But  since  kind  Death  hath  tied  them  in  one  tether, 
Their  namesake  leaves'  full   oft   are   brought   to- 
gether, 
In  equal  chests  (with  India-paper  linings,) 
In  transports,  with  security,  to  Twining's. 

Then  weep  no  more  for  that  united  pair, 
Since  thus  in  death  one  common  lot  they  share : 
And,  like  their  trees  that  high  in  air  embrace, 
Fo  bade  their  spirits  rise  from  that  low  place 
To  meet  above ;  and  Hyson  and  Bohea 
Now  mix  their  essence  both  in  Tien*  and  tea. 

•  Heaven. 


THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH* 

On  the  ground  whence  it  grew 
Falls  the  shade  of  the  yew  : 
Thus  shall  those  ever  rue 
From  whom  evils  accrue. 

To-Whoo. 

The  gallant  Si-Long,  who,  though  yet 
quite  a  youth,  had  attained  to  high  rank  as 

*  The  documents  from  which  this  story  is  compiled  were  obli- 
gingly  forwarded  to  us,  during  our  residence  in  China,  by  our 
esteemed  friend  Poo-Loo,  who  expressed  himself  willing,  for  a 
moderate  remuneration,  to  make  oath  to  their  authenticity.  He 
requested  us,  if  ever  we  should  throw  them  into  form  for  the 
benefit  of  the  English  reader,  (the  particular  object  with  which 
they  were  commended  to  our  care,)  to  mention  that  the  Procelian 
Bath  of  the  Empress  Tou-Keen  having,  when  already  arrived  at 
an  advanced  age,  been  accidentally  broken,  an  indefinite  ances- 


THE  rORCELAIN  BATH.  121 

a  civil  mandarin,  was  charged  with  an  impe- 
rial message  from  Peking  into  the  province  of 
Honan.  The  object  of  his  mission  was  to 
order  the  attendance,  in  the  capital,  of  a  cele- 
brated physician,  whose  extensive  astrological 
lore  had  enabled  him  successfully  to  combat 
all  diseases,  and  had  spread  his  fame  through- 
out the  northern  provinces  of  China.  The 
Emperor  had  been  seized  with  a  sudden 
sickness,  which  appeared  the  more  danger- 
ous, as  the  physicians  of  his  court  admitted 
their  ignorance  of  its  nature;  and  were  at 
a  loss  whether  to  ascribe  it  to  hot  or  cold 
humours;  to  the  influence  of  some  unde- 
tected comet;  to  too  great  a  prevalence  of 
red,  white,  green,  or  yellow,  in  the  furniture 

tor  of  liis  purchased  llie  remains,  and  that  tiicsc  have  since  been 
carefully  jjrescrved  by  liis  family  till  they  came  into  iiis  own  pes- 
session.  He  wishes  to  assure  the  public  that  no  other  ingredient 
than  a  powder  obtained  from  tiiesc  talismanic  antiquities  is  em- 
ployed  in  the  manufacture  of  liis  celebrated  cement;  and  to  in- 
form them  that  some  finer  portions  of  this  ]  ulvcrized  material  are 
made  up  in  small  packages  for  the  benefit  of  tliose  labouring  under 
mental  diseases  :  a  single  dose  suiScing  to  restore  to  sanity  any 
individual  who  has  the  misfortune  to  be  cracked. 
11 


122  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

of  the  palace  and  the  foliage  and  ornaments 
of  the  gardens ;  or  to  the  withering  of  a  peach- 
tree  in  a  court  of  the  imperial  residence. 
Among  other  suggested  causes,  it  was  not 
forgotten  that  he  had  lately  lost  a  fine  ky-lin, 
carved  out  of  iju  or  jade ;  and  that  on  the 
last  occasion  when,  in  conformity  to  the  an- 
nual custom  of  the  rulers  of  the  Flowery 
Land,  he  set  an  example  to  his  people  by 
going  forth  to  guide  the  plough,  his  imperial 
foot  failed  him,  and  he  came  down  bodily  upon 
a  gourd,  whereby  that  emblem  of  longevity 
w'as  smashed ;  he  being  himself  of  gourd- 
like  shape,  and  no  slight  weight  withal.* 

It  was  necessary,  as  the  doctors  were  un- 
decided in  opinion,  to  seek  some  farther  ad- 
vice; and  none  it  was  considered,  was  so 
able  to  supply  it,  as  Nu-Moun,  the  mighty 
astrologer.  To  him,  therefore,  Si-Long  was 
sent;  and,  mounted  on  his  fiery  Tartar  steed, 
which,  however,  was  more  remarkable  for 
his  roadway  capabilities  than  for  his  beauty 

*  See  note,  O. 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  123 

or  condition,  the  young  mandarin  had  pro- 
ceeded indefatigably  for  some  days,  when  on 
his  making  inquiries  at  a  barber's  shop, 
where  he  dismounted  for  a  few  minutes  to 
get  shaven  and  shampooed,  he  learned  that 
he  had  arrived  within  thirty  ly  of  Honan. 
and  was  distant  six  or  seven  only  from  the 
residence  of  the  physician.  The  situation 
of  the  latter  was  pointed  out  to  him  from  that 
spot. 

It  lay  a  little  out  of  the  high  road,  and  he 
struck  across  to  it  accordingly.  Nu-Moun 
had  desisted  from  the  general  practice  of  his 
art,  being  of  studious  habits,  and  fond  of  re- 
tirement; and  he  now  lived  in  a  small  coun- 
try house  in  a  sequestered  spot,  with  the 
companionship  only  of  a  daughter ;  his  wife 
having  died  some  years  since  without  other 
offspring.  Si-Long  had  no  difficulty  in  dis- 
covering the  villa,  as  the  spot  was  on  the 
slope  of  a  hill  opposite  to  the  path  by  which 
he  approached,  and  was  sufficiently  marked 
by  a  group  of  bamboos,  among  which  the 
house  was  hidden.     No  other  habitations 


124  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

were  in  its  vicinity  except  huts  of  the  mean- 
est clas 

Si-Long  had  jnst  reached  the  gateway,  and 
was  congratulating  him  self  on  having  finished 
his  toilsome  journey,  when  an  unfortunate 
circumstance  occurred.     He  intended  to  have 
alighted   there,  and  to  have  proceeded  on 
foot  towards  the  house ;  and  he  had  already 
gone  over  in  his  mind  the  bows,  the  bends, 
turns,  gestures,  and  verbal  compliments  ne- 
cessary to  be  observed;   as  well  those  set 
down  in  the  ritual  code,  a  copy  of  which  he 
carried  in  his  bosom,  as  those  which  the  Col- 
lege of  Forms  and  Ceremonies  had  appointed 
for  the  particular  occasion.     But  just  as  he 
was  about  to  rein  up  his  Bucephalus  (called 
Jee-Wf^h  in  the  language  of  China,)  the  astro- 
loger himself,  who  at  the  moment  was  walk- 
ing in  the  garden,  appeared  at  the  gate  ;  and 
the  steed  taking  fright  at  his  spectacles  (of 
which,  as  the  wisest  man  in  the  empire,  he 
of  course,  wore  the  largest  pair,)  reared  right 
on  end,  by  which  unexpected  evolution  the 
young    mandarin   was  thrown,   whilst    yet 


rJ:^J.. 


vv  -/^'H^  a/i/ti^i/a/ a/./^  3vAa€\jf>/iA^ 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  125 

more  unfortunately  the  horse  fell  over  upon 
him. 

The  philosopher  hastened  to  his  assist- 
ance ;  that  is  to  say,  he  ran  away  as  fast  as  he 
could,  and  called  loudly  for  help.  Persons 
came,  and  poor  Si-Long  was  released ;  but 
one  of  his  legs  and  five  of  his  ribs  were 
broken. 

When  the  physician  had  recovered  from 
his  fright,  he  went  into  his  house  to  see  the 
luckless  youth,  whom  the  servants  had  con- 
veyed thither.  He  dismounted  the  majestic 
spectacles  that  jockeyed  his  own  reverend 
nose,  wiped  the  crystals  in  the  bow  of  his  pig- 
tail, and  by  means  of  two  silken  cords  which 
passed  behind  his  ears,  and  which  for  greater 
gravity  were  finished  with  huge  tassels, 
again  suspended  them  in  their  place.  He 
approached  the  bed,  and,  by  a  catechism  of 
learned  questions,  soon  ascertained  that  the 
youth  was  seriously  hurt ;  but  in  what  par- 
ticular way  he  was  not  able  to  discover.  He 
repaired  therefore  to  his  observatory,  that  he 

might  hold  a  consultation  with  the  stars :. 
11* 


126  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

and  it  was  soon  decided  between  them  that 
the  case  of  the  young  equestrian  was  despe- 
rate, and  that  a  raging  fever  would  be  fol- 
lowed by  his  speedy  death. 

Under  these  circumstances,  there  was  little 
to  be  done  but  to  prescribe  some  medicines 
and  several  ceremonies ;  of  which  the  former 
were  rather  intended  to  facilitate  death,  and 
dispose  the  body  to  suffer  embalmment  kindly, 
than  to  ward  away  a  fate  which  was  con- 
sidered inevitable.  The  patient,  however, 
was  not  yet  so  far  gone  but  that  he  remem- 
bered the  object  of  his  mission,  and  delivered 
to  the  astrologer  the  written  order  command- 
ing his  immediate  departure  for  Peking. 

Nu-Moun  was  startled  at  this  communica- 
tion ;  and  seizing  in  each  hand  the  pulleys  of 
his  spectacles,  and  drawing  them  downwards 
with  some  force,  so  as  to  fix  the  lenses  more 
firmly  in  their  place,  he  proceeded  to  ex- 
amine the  letter.  When  he  perceived  that  it 
was  signed  at  top  with  the  imperial  signa- 
ture, he  placed  it  reverentially  on  a  small  ta- 
ble, and  supporting  it  against  a  vase,  per- 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  127 

Ibrmed  the  korv-to  before  it ;  that  is  to  say,  he 
knelt  three  times,  and  struck  his  forehead 
nine  times  against  the  floor.  This  done,  he 
took  the  epistle,  and  squatting  down  cross- 
legged  upon  a  mat,  perused  the  document 
with  great  attention. 

The  Emperor's  well-known  liberality  was 
such,  that  it  was  certain  the  service  thus  re- 
quired of  the  physician  would  not  be  meanly 
rewarded.     But  Nu-Moun  had  shown  how 
little  regard   he  paid   to  the  acquisition  of 
wealth,  by  foregoing  a  profitable  and  honour- 
able profession  just  when  he  had  attained,  by 
general  acknowledgment,   the  highest  rank 
therein,  and  retiring  to  dwell  in  an  humble 
manner  in  a  secluded  country  place.     Yet, 
as  he  read,  there  was  a  smile  upon  the  coun- 
tenance of  the  philosopher,  and  his  eyes  were 
expanded  with  a  pleasant  surprise  almost  to 
the  size  of  the  spectacle  lenses.     This  did  not 
arise  from  any  prospective  calculation  of  the 
emolument  to  accrue  from  his  visit.     The 
high  honour  conferred  upon  him  was  that  by 
which  his  great  mind  was  so  gratified ;  and 


128  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

the  privilege  he  should  enjoy  of  beholding 
his  august  sovereign,  for  whom  he  enter- 
tained the  most  filial  and  profound  venera- 
tion. 

Nu-Moun  had  cured  great  numbers  of 
great  people;  he  had  killed  great  numbers 
also  :  but  even  those  he  killed  he  cured  after- 
wards by  an  embalming  process ;  so  it  may 
be  stated  generally  that  he  cured  them  all. 
Mandarins  of  all  ranks  had  been  under  his 
care :  where  he  succeeded,  the  merit  was  all 
his  own;  where  he  failed,  the  fault  was  in  fate 
or  nature.  He  was  not  unaware  of  his  supe- 
rior science,  and  he  thought  it  no  great  ac- 
quisition of  honour  to  himself,  that  even  the 
governors  of  provinces  should  apply  to  him 
when  their  five  elements  were  out  of  due  pro- 
portion. But  he  justly  accounted  it  no  little 
thing  that  he  should  have  been  summoned 
from  so  great  a  distance,  singly  to  attempt 
that,  in  behalf  of  his  great  lord  and  master, 
the  Son  of  Heaven,  and  Father  of  the  Celes- 
tial Land,  which  had  baffled  the  science  and 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  129 

defeated  the  skill  of  the  seventy -two  chief 
physicians. 

Had  it  been  otherwise  than  agreeable,  the 
Emperor's  mandate  must  not  the  less  have 
been  obeyed.  The  physician  prepared, 
therefore,  to  commence  his  journey  by  the 
dawn  of  day. 

There  was,  however,  one  matter  which 
caused  him  some  uneasiness,  and  it  will  not 
be  difficult  to  divine  what  that  might  be. 
The  young  Si-Long  was  bruised  and  bat- 
tered in  a  manner  that  rendered  it  impossible, 
without  the  utmost  inhumanity,  to  attempt 
his  removal  from  the  house ;  and  the  philoso- 
pher's daughter,  a  beautiful  young  lady,  just 
arrived  at  a  marriageable  age,  must  be  left 
under  the  same  roof  with  him,  without  any 
guardian,  and  with  only  the  fellowship  of 
two  or  three  domestics.  This  was  certainly 
awkward :  although  of  real  dano^er  there 
could  be  little  or  none ;  for  the  maiden  was 
discreet,  and  the  youth  a  youth  of  honour 
and  of  several  broken  bones.  But  the  situa- 
tion of  affairs  was  such  as  admitted  of  no  re- 


130  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

medy ;  and  the  certainty  that  Si-Long  had 
not  long  to  live  was  a  source  of  consolation 
to  Nu-Moun. 

The  physician,  before  his  departure,  at  the 
same  time  that  he  gave  her  much  other  very 
sensible  advice,  recommended  his  daughter 
to  keep  herself,  during  his  visit  to  the  capital, 
entirely  to  her  own  apartments:  but  desired 
her  to  make  inquiries  daily  concerning  the 
health  of  the  young  invalid,  and  to  be  sure 
that  the  domestics  were  not  wanting  in  atten- 
tion to  him.  To  them  also  he  gave  discreet 
rules  of  conduct,  and  instructed  them  how  to 
act  upon  the  death  of  the  stranger :  an  event 
which  he  stated  would  take  place  in  about 
ten  days. 

He  departed,  and  his  dutiful  daughter  be- 
o^an  the  manao^ement  of  affairs  in  his  absence 
with  the  properest  circumspection.  She  or- 
dered that  several  skreens  should  be  expand- 
ed in  the  passage  that  separated  her  apart- 
ment from  that  in  which  the  young  man  was 
placed ;  and  was  careful  as  much  as  possible, 
though  sundry  thick   walls   were  between 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  131 

them,  to  keep  her  back  turned  in  that  direc- 
tion. 

A  female  servant,  who  was  old  and  ugly, 
was  occasionally  engaged  in  attendance  on 
the  youth.  From  her  the  beautiful  Tou- 
Keen*  learned  that  he  was  handsome  and 
had  a  pleasant  voice.  She  soon  found  that 
it  was  awkward  to  be  constantly  moving 
backwards  or  sideways,  and  relaxed  the  se- 
verity of  her  observance  in  that  particular. 

Contrary  to  all  expectation,  Si-Long  sur- 
vived the  tenth  day,  and  at  the  expiration  of 
that  time  showed  evident  symptoms  of  im- 
provement. Tou-Keen,  in  obedience  to  her 
father's  desire,  received  a  daily  report  of  his 
progress  from  her  old  attendant ;  and,  with 
great  consideration  for  his  health,  when  she 
found  that  he  was  gaining  strength,  ordered 
that  the  skreens  might  be  removed,  to  admit 
of  the  better  ventilation  of  his  apartment. 

After  the  lapse  of  a  few  weeks  he  could 
rise  from  his  bed  and  move  about  the  cham- 
ber;  and  she  then  recommended  that  he 

*  See  note,  P. 


132  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

should  take  exercise  in  the  passage,  which 
was  of  greater  extent.  Tlie  youth,  whose 
feelings  of  propriety  were  of  the  properest 
description,  finding  himself  so  far  recovered, 
considered  it  time,  though  he  was  still  weak, 
to  leave  a  house  where  accident  had  placed 
him  under  circumstances  of  so  delicate  a  na- 
ture; and  he  therefore,  with  every  due  form, 
sent  in  his  compliments  to  his  youthful  host- 
ess, to  express  his  gratitude  for  the  atten- 
tions he  had  received,  and  bid  her  a  respect- 
ful farewell.  Tou-Keen,  however,  thought 
it  would  not  be  becoming,  in  the  absence  of 
her  father,  that  a  visiter  should  be  suffered  to 
quit  the  house  without  receiving  the  usual 
compliments  and  politenesses  due  to  a  guest; 
and  feeling  thus,  she  very  properly  resolved 
to  act  as  the  representative  of  her  papa  on 
this  particular  occasion.  She  accordingly 
went  into  the  passage  to  bid,  on  the  part  of 
her  sire,  a  formal  adieu  to  Si-Long;  but  the 
moment  she  beheld  his  pale  cheek  and 
sunken  eye,  she  perceived  how  improper, 
how  dangerous  it  would  be  for  him  to  en- 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  133 

counter  the  fatigue  of  a  removal  so  soon. 
With  the  greatest  delicacy,  however,  he  per- 
sisted in  his  purpose;  with  the  greatest  hos- 
pitality" she,  upon  the  part  of  her  father, 
insisted  that  he  should  prolong  his  stay. 
Their  polite  contest  lasted  just  four  hours 
and  sixteen  minutes,  in  which  time  they 
acted  through  every  section  of  the  two  hun- 
dred and  fifty-seventh  book  of-  the  Code  of 
Forms  and  Ceremonies  ;  that  being  the  por- 
tion which  treats  of  the  departure  of  a  guest. 
In  the  end  Si-Long  was  vanquished — as  how 
CO  aid  it  be  otherwise? — and  he  promised  to 
defer  his  departure. 

The  ice  was  broken — it  had  not  been 
thick — and  a  warm  fountain  of  love  sprung 
up  in  the  hearts  of  the  young  people. — 
Thenceforth  they  were  much  together ;  they 
could  not  be  happy  apart ;  they  sighed  sighs ; 
they  vowed  vows ;  in  fine,  they  arranged  a 
little  scheme  for  boatins:  it  together  down 
the  current  of  matrimonial  felicity. 

Nu-Moun  was  detained  in  Peking  longer 

than  he  anticipated.     At  last,  however,  he 
12 


134  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

succeeded  in  taking  his  revered  master  the 
Emperor  off  the  sick-list ; — though  unfortu- 
nately, only  by  placing  him  upon  the  bills  of 
mortality.  Communicating  to  his  daughter 
intelligence  of  this  circumstance,  he  gave  her 
to  understand  that  he  should  return  home  in 
a  very  few  days :  and  Si-Long  had  no  longer 
any  difficulty  in  persuading  his  betrothed 
that  he  was  so  far  convalescent  as  to  admit, 
without  imprudence,  of  his  taking  his  imme- 
diate departure.  Before  he  went,  however, 
it  was  settled  between  the  pair  that  the 
young  lady  should  obtain  her  sire's  consent 
to  their  union,  and  induce  him,  as  soon  as 
preliminaries  could  be  arranged,  to  convey 
her  to  Peking  for  the  performance  of  the 
marriage  ceremonies.  So  Si-Long  at  last 
departed,  and  in  a  few  days  Nu-Moun  re- 
turned. 

The  physician  was  astonished  to  find  that 
the  young  mandarin  had  gone,  not  having 
been  aware  that  he  had  so  far  recovered  as 
even  to  leave  "^his  chamber.  He  was  more 
surprised,  and  not  altogether  pleased,  to  dis- 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  135 

cover  that  the  skreens,  of  which  his  daufjh- 
ter's  first  letter  had  made  mention,  had  been 
so  soon  displaced ;  and  his  spectacles  as- 
sumed a  larger  appearance  than  ever  when 
he  heard  of  the  subsequent  progress  of  events. 
His  pigtail  grew  exceedingly  uneasy,  waving 
in  gentle  undulations,  and  occasionally  coil- 
ing round  his  shoulders ;  and,  lighting  his 
pipe  with  great  precipitation,  he  began  to 
smoke  with  so  much  energy  as  to  wrinkle 
up  the  bamboo,  and  contract  it  in  length 
some  inches. 

Now  the  fact  is  that  Nu-Moun  would  have 
excused  his  daughter's  imprudence,  and 
would  have  made  no  objection  to  her  mar- 
riage with  a  young  mandarin  of  so  much  re- 
pute as  Si-Long,  had  it  not  chanced  that  he 
had  formed  a  little  plot  of  his  own,  with 
which  that  of  the  young  people  might  ma- 
terially interfere.  A  fortunate  conjunction 
of  stars  had  suggested  the  idea;  and  the 
more  he  had  pondered  upon  it,  the  more  it 
had  delighted  him. 

Need  it  be  said  that  Tou-Keen  would  not 


136  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

have  been  fixed. upon  as  the  heroine  of  this 
story,  had  she  not  been  at  that  precise  pe- 
riod the  most  beautiful  lady  in  the  Chinese 
dominions  ?  Now  it  is  a  custom  in  the  Ce- 
lestial Land  when  a  fresh  ruler  comes  to  the 
throne,  (as,  thanks  to  the  astrological  science 
which  Nu-Moun  himself  had  brought  to  bear 
on  the  late  Emperor,  was  now  about  to  be 
the  case,)  that  parents  who  possess  unmar- 
ried daughters  of  great  beauty,  and  of  a  mar- 
riageable age,  respectfully  oifer  them  to  the 
notice  of  their  sovereign ;  and  from  among 
these,  besides  making  up  his  little  museum 
of  handmaidens,  he  not  unfrequently  selects 
his  Empress,*  The  worshipful  physician 
was  already  in  favour  with  the  Emperor 
elect;  so  that  he  might  consider  there  would 
be  little  difficulty  in  obtaining  for  his  lovely 
daughter  an  introduction  to  that  potentate. 
And  then — relying  much  on  her  surpassing 
beauty,  but  more  on  the  promise  of  the  stars 
— he  entertained  a  strong  hope,  almost  a  con- 

*  See  note,  Q. 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  137 

fidence,  that  she  would  find  such  favour  in 
the  imperial  eyes  as  to  be  the  enviable  one 
selected  to  share  the  throne ; — or  at  least — 
but  no  "  at  least" — it  must  assuredly  be  thus, 
and  not  otherwise. 

Nu-Moun  was  therefore  perplexed ;  but 
entertaining  no  very  high  opinion  of  the  per- 
manency of  ladies'  affections,  he  determined 
to  conceal  his  purpose  for  a  time,  till  the  ar- 
dour of  her  love  for  Si-Long  might  some- 
what abate ;  but  to  accede  to  her  request  so 
far  as  the  journey  to  Peking  was  concerned. 
The  idea  of  becoming  an  Empress,  he  ima- 
gined, must  kindle  some  feelings  of  ambition 
in  any  female  mind  ;  and  as  he  reflected  thus, 
his  queue  grew  calmer. 

Nu-Moun  was  not  mistaken  in  his  judg- 
ment of  his  daughter.  He  took  her  to  Pe- 
king, and  soon  venturing  to  communicate 
his  scheme  to  her,  was  delighted  to  find  how 
readily  and  how  warmly  she  entered  into  his 
views.  She  requested  only  that  he  would 
endeavour  to  keep  their  proposed  proceedings 

a  secret  from  SirLong;  because,  if  it  should' 
12* 


138  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

prove  that  the  Emperor  was  without  discrir 
mination,  it  would  be  well,  she  considered, 
to  have,  as  the  Chinese  express  it,  another 
spoon  to  her  rice. 

The  Emperor,  though  a  new  Emperor 
was  already  an  old  man.  But  the  ladies  for- 
got the  old  man  in  the  young  Emperor ;  and 
many  would  even  have  consented  to  have 
become  old  women,  could  they  thereby  have 
secured  to  themselves  a  share  in  the  imperial 
throne.  At  his  inauguration,  many  of  those 
most  remarkable  for  beauty,  who  in  confor- 
mity with  the  custom  to  which  we  have  ad- 
verted, had  been  brought  from  various  parts 
of  the  empire,  were  presented  to  him  for  se- 
lection ;  and  he  chose  from  among  them  se- 
veral, who  were  honoured  with  particular 
appointments  in  the  palace.  But  when  the 
surpassingly  beautiful  Tou-Keen  was  intro- 
duced into  his  presence,  he  rose  with  un- 
speakable condescension,  and  declared  before 
the  assembled  court  that  he  recognised  that 
lady  as  the  person  to  whom  he  had  been 
mated  some  thousand  years  before,  in  a  dif- 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  139 

ferent  state  of  being,  and  who  was  destined  to 
become  his  spouse  in  this.  The  next  day 
he  sent  forth  a  proclamation,  giving  the 
wisest  and  best  reasons  for  having  made  use 
of  an  abridged  edition  of  the  marriage  cere- 
monies, and  declaring  that  his  imperial  ex- 
ample in  this  instance  was  not  to  be  referred 
to  as  a  precedent. 

When  the  unfortunate  Si-Long  received 
the  news  of  his  beloved  Tou-Keen's  marriage 
with  the  Emperor,  he  for  a  long  while  re- 
fused to  give  it  credence ;  declaring  that  the 
lady  was  engaged  to  himself,  and  that  truth 
itself  was  not  half  so  true  as  she.  As  soon, 
however,  as  he  became  convinced  of  the  fact, 
he  was  well-nigh  beside  himself  with  rage 
and  despair.  He  gnashed  his  teeth,  and  tore 
his  pigtail,  and  declared  that  Tou-Keen  was 
falsehood  itself  "  I  will  be  revenged,"  cried 
he,  "as  sure  as  a  bow  and  arrow."  Guns 
had  not  at  that  time  been  introduced  in 
China. 

His  conduct  and  declarations  became   a 
theme  of  wonder  at  court ;  and  a  mandarin, 


140  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

who  had  been  jealous  of  the  favour  Si-Long 
had  obtained  from  the  late  Emperor,  ven- 
tured to  report  to  the  new  one  all  that  he  had 
so  rashly  spoken.  Poor  Si-Long  would  soon 
have  been  like  a  volume  of  fugitive  poetry, 
— to  wit,  a  collection  of  small  pieces, — but 
for  the  interposition  of  the  amiable  Tou- 
Keen,  who  was  opposed  to  such  poetical  jus- 
tice. The  beautiful  Empress,  however,  was 
not  unwilling  that  her  too  aspiring  lover 
should  meet  with  a  punishment  proportioned 
to  his  offence ;  so  she  suggested  that  he  should 
receive  two  hundred  strokes  of  the  bamboo, 
and  that,  with  the  imperial  gratuity  of  ten 
score  marks  which  would  accompany  the  ex- 
ecution of  this  order,  he  might  be  dismissed 
from  the  province  of  Pe-che-le.  An  Empe- 
ror of  China,  as  the  father  of  his  people,  well 
understands  that  to  spare  the  rod  is  to  spoil 
the  child,  and  the  bamboo  is  one  of  the  most 
useful  plants  in  his  dominions.  His  subjects 
naturally  prize  it,  because  they  feel  its  use. 
After  obtaining  such  proof  of  his  mistress's 
favour,  Si-Long  had  little  desire  to  remain 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  141 

longer  in  the  capital,  and  thus  banishment 
became  to  him  a  matter  of  indifference.  He 
was  behind  the  world,  or,  as  it  is  more  com- 
monly expressed,  the  world  was  before  him ; 
and  he  set  forth  from  the  great  capital  with 
his  little  capital  upon  his  back.  He  was 
likely  to  retain  his  marks  some  time ;  but,  as 
his  mandarin's  button  had  been  taken  from 
him,  he  was  no  longer  among  the  nobles. 

He  wandered  on,  greatly  depressed  in 
spirit,  and  careless  whither  chance  might 
lead  him,  and  for  several  days  mechanically 
retraced  the  way  he  had  lately  taken  when 
intrusted  with  the  Emperor's  commission. 
Having  at  length  arrived  at  the  place  where 
the  path  turned  off  to  the  dwelling  of  the 
physician,  he  could  not  resist  an  inclination 
to  revisit  the  abode  which  he  had  left  with 
such  pleasing  anticipations.  Not  doubting, 
however,  that  his  story  had  got  there  before 
him,  he  did  not  venture  to  show  himself  in 
front  of  the  house ;  but,  choosing  the  dusk  of 
the  evening,  he  went  stealthily  through  the 
garden,  and  passed  along  avenues  of  bananas 


142  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

and  orange-trees,  till  he  came  to  a  small  sum- 
mer-house, commanding  an  extensive  view 
of  a  tank  of  gold  fish.  In  that  fantastic 
building  he  threw  himself  down  on  a  bamboo 
bench, — he  did  not  notice  that  it  was  of  bam- 
boo, or  he  would  have  chosen  some  other, — 
and  looked  pensively  at  the  water,  and  at  the 
fish  that  sported  so  merrily  therein.  He  had 
once  before  sat  in  that  place  :  the  beautiful, 
but  faithless  Tou-Keen  was  then  his  compa- 
nion :  they  had  slipped  forth  unobserved  of 
the  domestics,  and  in  that  retreat  had  enjoyed 
an  hour  of  delightful  intercourse,  such  as  in 
the  Celestial  Land  falls  to  the  lot  of  few 
lovers,  although  such  hours  only  can  make 
the  Celestial  Land  a  perfect  paradise.  His 
heart  was  low, — and  as  he  looked  at  the  gold 
fish,  and  thought  of  his  false  lady,  he  repeated 
to  himself  the  words  of  the  celebrated  poet, 
Sing-Song,  which  have  been  so  well  trans- 
lated by  Gray : — 

"  Not  all  that  tempts  our  wandering  eyes, 
And  heedless  hearts,  is  lawful  prize ; 
Not  all  that  glisters,  gold." 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  143 

"  Ah !"  said  he,  "false  Tou-Keen  !  you  de- 
ceived your  faithful  Si-Long ;  he  would  have 
treasured  you  as  the  precious  metal,  and  be- 
hold you  elude  his  grasp  as  a  slippery  fish. 
Farewell,  however,  Tou-Keen  !  far  be  it  from 
me  to  cherish  feelings  of  revenge  or  hate 
against  one  whom  I  have  loved  so  truly." 

Having  spoken  thus,  he  was  possessed  with 
a  strong  desire  to  put  an  end  to  his  miseries 
by  a  plunge  into  the  tank.  But  the  drowsy 
god  w^as  just  at  the  time  beginning  to  exer- 
cise so  powerful  an  influence  upon  him,  that 
he  was  constrained  to  defer  this  till  he  should 
have  taken  a  short  nap. 

To  this  end  he  fell  asleep ;  and  in  his  sleep 
he  had  a  dream.  From  a  vase  that  stood 
upon  a  pedestal  in  the  middle  of  the  tank,  a 
little  mist  seemed  suddenly  to  arise,  which, 
gradually  spreading  and  approaching  him, 
revealed  amid  its  roUinor  volumes  the  fissure 
of  his  guardian  joss.  This  was  a  little  punch- 
bellied  divinity,  who  sat  cross-legged,  as  is 
the  custom  of  all  guardian  josses.  His  face 
was  full  of  quintessential  wisdom,  its  very 


144  THE  PORCELAIN    TOWER. 

furrows  seemed  to  have  been  made  by  "  wise 
saws,"  and  the  air  of  the  whole  was  a  sort  of 
proverbial  expression.  "My  son,"  said  he, 
"  though  gravity  of  face  suiteth  with  wisdom, 
yet  laughter  itself  is  not  so  vain  and  profit- 
less as  tears ;  and  remember  that  half  a  pot- 
full  is  better  than  no  rice.  Therefore  arise 
and  go  thy  way,  and  away  with  ungainly 
grief  Bend  thy  steps  south-eastward  from 
this  province  of  Honan,  and  pass  through 
Hoo-Pee,  till  thou  comest  to  Kiang-Si. 
There  attend  the  chances  that  await  thee. 
This  much  I  read  of  thy  fate  :  the  Emperor 
yet  shall  honour  thee,  though  now  he  hath 
thus  cast  thee  down,  and  thy  name  shall  go 
forth  through  all  the  land,  and  be  remem- 
bered through  all  ages.  If  the  honour 
Cometh  slowly,  remember,  the  great  wall  was 
not  built  in  a  day;  keep  up  thy  courage  and 
persevere  in  the  path  upon  which  thou  en- 
terest;  patience  and  perseverance  dug  the 
great  canal.  Here,  take  this  talisman.  It 
will  aid  thee  in  all  thou  devisest.  It  will 
make  hot  cold;  and  cold  hot.     But  whenever 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  145 

thou  hast  some  purpose  to  effect,  thou  must 
hold  it  in  thine  hand.  Untouched  it  will 
avail  nothing.     Farewell."* 

This  said,  the  portly  joss  grew  fatter  and 
thinner;  fatter  and  fatter  in  size,  but  thinner 
and  thinner  in  substance ;  until,  as  the  Chi- 
nese poet, — that  is  to  say,  the  poet  of  the  Ce- 
lestial Empire, — that  is  to  say,  the  divine 
bard,  expresses  it, 

"  Like  glory,  or  a  circle  in  the  water, 
By  gradual  spreading  he  dispersed  to  nought," 

As  soon  as  the  joss  had  vanished,  Si-Long 
awoke.  At  the  time  he  fell  asleep,  the  moon 
had  not  long  appeared  above  the  horizon; 
when  he  rose,  she  had  just  reached  her  ze- 
nith. There  she  hung,  as  the  great  chande- 
lier of  the  night,  the  stars  glittering  round 
her  like  single  candles  stuck  about  the  cupo- 
la of  heaven.  Majestic  orb !  a  Chinese  writer 
has  aptly  likened  her  to  a  pot  of  rice,  and  the 
stars  to  scattered  grains. 

Si-Long    arose.      He  looked   up  at  the 

•  See  Note  S. 

13 


146  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

moon:  he  looked  down  at  the  water:  he 
thought  of  his  meditated  leap  into  the  latter, 
but,  with  the  moon  reflected  within  it,  it  ap- 
peared too  deep.  He  looked  at  the  vase  that 
stood  on  a  pedestal  in  the  midst  of  the  tank ; 
and,  as  his  eye  fell  upon  this,  his  vision  or 
dream  returned  to  his  memory,  and  quite  de- 
termined him  not  to  plunge  too  rashly.  But 
as  he  recollected  the  apparition  of  the  joss,  he 
remembered  likewise  the  talisman ;  and  not 
until  then  did  he  notice  that  betwixt  the  fin- 
ger and  thumb  of  his  left  hand  he  held  a 
small  crooked  coin,  which  he  recognised  im- 
mediately as  the  gift  of  his  guardian  spirit. 
Encouraged  by  such  a  discovery,  he  rose  and 
bade  adieu  for  ever  to  that  sad  scene  of  for- 
mer happy  hours,  and,  finding  that  the  gar- 
den-gate was  fast,  climbed  the  wall  with 
some  difficulty,— declining  the  proff'ered  as- 
sistance of  abamboo, — and  alighting  in  safety 
on  the  other  side,  set  forward  at  once  on  his 
journey  towards  the  south-east,  in  obedience 
to  the  recommendation  of  the  joss. 

We  leave  him  on  his  way,  and  return  to 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH  147 

Peking.  As  we  approach  this  city  we  hear 
Tou-Keen  from  every  mouth.  Within  the 
walls  Tou-Koen  is  the  universal  theme  of 
conversation  too;  but  there  we  hear  less  of 
her,  for  not  being  far  from  the  palace,  all 
speak  in  whispers.  Tou-Keen  the  beauti- 
ful ;  Tou-Keen  the  fantastic ;  Tou-Keen  the 
petulant;  Tou-Keen  the  cruel;  Tou-Keen 
the  unjust;  Tou-Keen  that  rules  the  ruler; 
Tou-K(;en  that  squanders  the  money  of  the 
land ;  everywhere  Tou-Koen ;  all  day  long 
Tou-Keen;  Tou-Keen,  Tou-Keen,  Tou- 
Keen, — nothing  but  Tou-Keen. 

The  young  Empress,  in  the  mysterious 
w^ay  that  sometimes  happens,  had  acquired 
a  surprising  influence  over  the  old  Emperor, 
although  he  was  the  despotic  sovereign  of 
the  great  Central  Empire,  and  she  a  weak 
woman  just  raised  to  dignity  from  no  very 
high  rank  among  his  subjects.  Ah,  wonder- 
ful beyond  all  wondrous  things  thy  fascina- 
ting power,  0  beauty,  who  imprisonest 
Kings  with  thy  locks,  and  makest  Emperors 
bend  beneath  thy  lashes!     Tou-Keen  soon 


148  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

felt  her  power,  and  she  made  the  Emperor 
feel  it ;  and  like  the  shock  of  a  galvanic  bat- 
tery, it  passed  from  him  to  those  next  him  in 
deo^ree,  and  so  throuo^h  the  whole  circle  of 
society.  Never  were  humours  so  fantastic 
as  those  which  Tou-Keen  taxed  her  lord,  and 
which  her  lord  taxed  the  w^hole  country  to 
gratify.  She  ordered  new  buildings  and 
decorations  in  the  palace ;  a  gimcrack  arch 
of  porcelain  in  the  great  court  before  it ;  tall 
columns,  supporting  at  telescopic  heights  the 
figures  of  warriors  and  great  men  (it  was  a 
pity  she  possessed  no  Hershel's  telescope  to 
bring  their  features  within  view;)  new  gar- 
dens filled  with  majestic  rocks  of  glass  and 
terracotta,  with  trees  dwarfed  down  to  shrubs, 
and  with  flowers  in  pots  upon  artificial 
branches,  fine  specimens  of  the  manner  in 
which  Art  can  turn  Nature  inside  out,  or 
make  her  stand  upon  her  head.  She  would 
have,  too,  garden  buildings  devised  in  all  the 
forms  of  Chinese  puzzles,  lakes  of  coloured 
water  filled  with  artificial  fish,  and  lofty 
bridges  erected  upon  level  lawns.     She  is- 


THE   PORCELAIN  BATH.  149 

sued  her  command,  and  temples  and  theatres 
were  there  mingled  together,  and  pig-tailed 
and  gods  fantoccina  flourished  falcions  and 
flags,  beat  drums,  and  smoked  their  pipes 
and  incense-pots  in  happy  emulation  of  each 
other.  But  in  the  decorations  of  her  own 
apartments,  in  her  dress,  and  in  her  fo^d,  the 
beautiful  and  proud  Tou-Keen  was  yet  more 
lavish  and  fantastic.  Large  pieces  of  furni- 
ture, wrought  of  rhinoceros  ivory,  in  that 
exquisite  style  of  carving  in  which  the  Chi- 
nese are  yet  unequalled,  or  in  jade  and  pre- 
cious marbles,  inlaid  with  diamonds  and  ru- 
bies ;  pillows  and  beds  of  spider-silk,  stuffed 
only  with  parrots'  down ;  robes  woven  of  gold 
filaments  resembling  silk,  and  enriched  with 
a  wonderful  embroidery,  which  all  the  first 
ladies  in  the  empire  were  compelled  to  exe- 
cute ;  dishes  of  woodcocks'  brains,  the  pu- 
pils of  cats'  eyes,  snails'  horns,  and  mouse- 
foot  jelly ;  these  were  but  a  few  among  her 
multitudinous  devices. 

The  whims  of  the  most  whimsical  Tou- 
Keen  furnished  ample  employment  to  all  the 
13* 


150  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

best  artificers  in  ivory,  in  the  precious  metals 
in  silks,  in  porcelain,  and  in  whatever  else 
might  conduce  to  ornament  and  luxury. — 
Yet  her  commissions  were  felt  to  be,  not  pa- 
tronage, but  tyranny ;  for,  though  those  who 
executed  her  commands  in  a  manner  which 
gave  her  satisfaction  were  well  paid,  and 
even  rewarded  for  their  labour;  the  much 
larger  numbers  who  failed,  in  spite  of  their 
most  anxious  endeavours,  to  win  her  approba- 
tion were  punished  with  various  degrees  of 
severity.  Some  were  bambooed ;  some  had 
their  shops  or  workhouses  destroyed ;  some 
were  banished  to  remote  parts  of  the  empire. 
The  tasks  which  she  set  to  the  porcelain 
manufacturers  were  particularly  troublesome: 
for  after  these  had  formed  the  clay,  by  the 
most  careful  and  skilful  manipulations,  into 
unusual  and  difficult  shapes,  their  labours 
were  apt  to  be  rendered  unavailing  by  the 
uncontrollable  effects  of  the  fire  to  which 
the  earthy  material  had.  necessarily  to  be 
subjected. 

Among  other  fancies,  she  had  demanded 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  151 

from  these  artists  a  bath,  of  most  fantastic 
form,  the  sides  and  edge  of  which  should  be 
formed  of  a  fihgree  of  flowers,  fruit,  birds, 
shells,  and  figures;  the  whole  to  be  contrived 
with  great  intricacy  and  elaborated  with  ex- 
treme minuteness.  Of  this  a  model  was 
prepared  in  Peking  ;  and  sent  thence  to  the 
factory  at  King-te-chin,  then  an  establish- 
ment of  considerable  repute,  which  has  since 
become  the  most  famous  in  all  China.* 

No  such  piece  of  porcelain,  either  for  size, 
or  for  the  curiosity  of  the  workmanship,  had 
hitherto  been  attempted  ;  and  the  proprietor 
of  the  furnaces  was  dismayed  when  he  re- 
ceived the  order.  Among  the  artificers  in 
his  employ,  however,  was  a  young  man  of 
extraordinary  skill,  who  had  already  perfor- 
med some  commissions  of  the  Empress,  for 
which  the  furnaces  of  best  repute  had  been 
tried ;  the  manufacturers  of  best  repute  bas- 
tinadoed: and  this  person,  who  had  lately 
been  looked  upon  as  a  prodigy  of  skill  and 
oracle  of  art,  readily  took  upon  himself  the 
perilous  responsibility  of  forming  the  porce- 
lain bath. 

*  See  note  S. 


152  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

This  ingenious  young  artist — (perhaps  you 
may  have  guessed  so  much)  was  no  other 
than  our  heroic  Si-Long, — at  least  Si-Long 
the  hero  of  our  story, — who  had  arrived  one 
evening,  tired  and  hungry,  in  the  neighbour- 
hood of  the  porcelain  manufactories  of  King- 
te-chin.     As  he  had  found  it  neither  reputa- 
ble nor  agreeable   to  roam  about   so   long 
without    money   or    credit,   or   changes    of 
clothes,  and  as  he  recollected  the  advice  of 
his  guardian  joss  that  he  should  tarry  in 
Kiang-Si,  it  occurred  to  him  that  he  might 
be  able  to  obtain  employment  in  the  porcelain 
factories,  and  that  as  he  was  possessed  of 
much  ingenuity  and  taste,  he  might  thus  oc- 
cupy himself  in  a  manner  at  once  lucrative 
and  honourable.     He  found  no  difficulty  in 
formino^  an  enoragement  with  the  master  of 
the  principal  establishment;  but  what  may 
have  rendered  this  the  more  easy  was,  that 
when  he  presented  himself  to  make  an  offer 
of  his  services  his  hand  was  unconsciously 
placed  upon  the  talisman  he  had  received 
from  the  joss.     But  for  this  fortunate  acci- 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  153 

dent  it  is  probable  that  references  as  to 
character  might  liave  been  required,  and  it 
would  not  have  been  pleasant  to  have  been 
forced  to  appeal  to  his  friend,  the  Emperor, 
for  credentials. 

He  afterwards  remembered  the  talisman, 
and  it  made  hard  things  easy  to  him,  and 
aided  him  in  all  he  devised.  This  it  was 
which  enabled  him,  though  with  such  little 
experience  in  the  fabrication  of  china  ware, 
to  perform  what  had  balked  the  ablest 
Avorkmen. 

Si-Long  applied  himself  assiduously,  with 
the  assistance  of  several  ingenious  artists, 
to  imitate  in  tlie  clay  the  model  of  the  bath. 
It  was  wrought  to  its  due  form ;  was 
coloured  and  glazed.  After  that  it  was 
placed,  not  without  some  difficulty,  in  a  fur- 
nace, which  under  his  particular  superinten- 
dence, had  been  erected  for  the  occasion. — 
No  vessel  of  porcelain  clay  the  tenth  part 
its  size  had  ever  before  undergone  the  pro- 
cess of  burning.  Of  course,  therefore,  the 
most  extraordinary  care  must  be  requisite  in 


154  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

the  operation.  Si-Long  had  had  the  fur- 
nace formed  with  various  apertures,  in  such 
a  manner  that  the  heat  could  be  suddenly  in- 
creased or  diminished  on  any  side ;  and  he 
himself  stood  upon  a  raised  platform,  and 
looked  down  a  sloping  shaft  into  the  enor- 
mous cistern  of  fire,  that  he  might  observe 
the  progress  of  burning,  and  give  orders  to 
the  workmen  accordingly.  It  was  necessary 
to  subject  the  clay  to  intense  heat :  the  bath 
was  so  large  that  otherwise  a  portion  only 
might  have  been  sufficiently  baked,  whilst 
other  parts  were  scarcely  affected  by  the 
fire.  Si-Long's  arrangements  had  been  ex- 
cellent: all  seemed  proceeding  well.  He 
did  not  forget  meanwhile  to  hold  the  talis- 
man in  his  hand  :  and  he  fully  appreciated 
the  value  of  the  gift,  and  the  benevolence  of 
the  giver.  He  Looked  hard  at  it,  his  heart 
overflowing  with  satisfaction  and  gratitude. 
It  was  lying  upon  the  fore-finger  of  his  right 
hand,  and  the  knuckle  of  the  thumb :  his 
hand  was  half-closed,  and  his  thumb-nail 
was  in  the  bend  of  the  middle  finger.     "  O 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  165 

thou  invaluable  prize !"  said  he,  and  his 
thumb  sprang  suddenly  upward,  and  twirled 
it  in  the  air.  He  meant  to  have  caught  it  as 
it  fell ;  but  in  his  delight  he  had  tossed  it 
rather  too  high,  and  he  caught  at  it  rather  too 
nervously  :  it  struck  his  hand,  and  rebound- 
ing from  that  passed  down  the  sloping  shaft 
into  the  furnace,  and  fell  into  the  bath.  Si- 
Long  looked  after  it  in  dismay  :  and,  as  his 
eyes  were  fixed  upon  the  bath,  he  observed 
a  line  all  down  the  side,  a  line  which  at  first 
seemed  scarcely  thicker  than  a  hair :  but 
soon  it  appeared  like  a  wire  against  the  porce- 
lain ;  then  like  a  cord ;  and  still  it  opened 
wider,  and  other  similar  indications  of  frac- 
ture became  perceptible. 

Si-Long  was  in  despair.  The  bath  was 
spoiled :  the  talisman  was  lost :  all  hopes  of 
success  were  by  that  loss  removed  for  ever : 
his  reputation,  of  which  he  had  grown  proud, 
was  ruined;  the  Empress,  who  in  spite  of 
the  falsehood  and  cruelty  she  had  exercised 
towards  him,  he  had  toiled,  with  great  self- 
satisfaction,  to  gratify,  would  be  disappointed 


156  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER." 

of  her  bath:  and  the  bamboo  grew  more 
abundantly  in  Kiang-$i  than  in  the  northern 
provinces.  These  thoughts  passed  as  quick 
as  pulsations  through  his  brain.  Poor  Si- 
Long  was  reduced  to  horrible  despair;  and 
clasping  his  hands  together  in  a  frantic  man- 
ner, and  tucking  up  his  petticoat, — swift  as 
an  ignis  fatuus  he  plunged  head-foremost 
into  the  fire. 

When  the  master  of  the  furnaces  and  his 
workmen  perceived  what  Si-Long  had  done, 
they  ran  away  in  great  fright,  and  with  much 
precipitation,  some  calling  on  Fo,  and  some 
on  Con-fut-sze  and  some  on  Laou-Keun. 
They  spread  about  through  the  neighbour- 
hood, and  told  the  tale  at  all  the  factories ; 
then  assembled  in  one  place,  and  held  a  coun- 
cil of  war;  and  after  much  deliberation, 
agreed  to  return,  that  they  might  afford  Si- 
Long  all  the  assistance  in  their  power. 

They  went  back  accordingly :  but  what 
was  their  surprise  on  opening  the  doors  of 
the  furnace,  to  find  that  the  fire  had  burned 
out,  that  the  bath  was  yet  perfect,  and  fully 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  157 

baked,  and  that  poor  Si-Long  lay,  a  mere 
heap  of  cinders,  within  it. 

When  they  had  reduced  all  that  remained 
of  him  more  completely  to  ashes,  they  depo- 
sited these  in  a  porcelain  vase,  and  buried 
them  beneath  the  furnace.  They  mourned 
for  him  very  strenuously ;  because  they  re- 
membered that  the  Empress  might  have 
fresh  fancies;  and  in  such  case,  without  a  Si- 
Long,  they  had  nothing  better  to  look  to  than 
bamboos,  or  banishment, — perhaps  a  bow- 
string. 

The  Empress  was  delighted  with  the  bath 
exceedingly ;  but  when  she  heard  the  fate  of 
the  unhappy  Si-Long  she  was  afflicted  be- 
yond measure  with  laughter  uncontrollable. 

"  What,"  said  she,  "  Si-Long,  the  auda- 
cious youth  whom  we  let  off  so  cheaply  with 
a  couple  of  hundred  blows  ?  The  youth  who 
accused  the  Empress  of  the  Central  Empire 
of  inconstancy  to  him  ?  A  handsome  youth, 
you  say ;  black  eyes,  large  ears,  thick  lips ; 
as  fat  as  turtle,  and  with  a  pig-tail  reaching 

to  his  heel.     Believe  me,  it  can  be  no  other 
14 


158  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

than  that  same,  that  very  same  insolent  Si- 
Long.     And  so   he  jumped  into  the  fire? 
He !  he !  he ! — how  exceedingly  queer !     And 
they  found  him  in  this  bath,  too,  you  say? 
Ho!   ho!    ho! — I   shall  die    with  this    fit. 
Quite  baked!  quite  roasted!  quite  broiled! 
Ha!    ha!    ha! — how    absurdly    ridiculous! 
Come,  get  me  ready  this  bath,  that  my  poor 
bambooed  lover  was  fried  in.     Let  it  be  well 
filled  with    cool  cocoa-nut  milk,  and  high- 
scented  cinnamon  waters,  and  spread  lotus- 
leaf  couches  around.     More  pleasant  to  bathe 
in  it  then  (wot  ye?)  than  when  it  lay  in  the 
furnace  of  King-te-chin." 

As  soon  as  the  swiftest  feet  could  convey 
the  order,  a  thousand  persons  were  up  to 
their  necks  in  water,  gathering  the  petals  of 
the  sacred  lotus,  to  heap  up  couches  for  the 
capricious  Tou-Keen.  The  bath  was  pre- 
pared in  less  time  than  would  appear  possible, 
in  a  beautiful  chamber,  hung  round  with  the 
costliest  metal  mirrors,  and  carpeted  with  se- 
veral thicknesses  of  the  softest  silk.  The 
walls  were  partly  clothed  with  the  same;  and 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  159 

on  ivory  and  silver  tables  were  disposed  bas- 
kets of  the  choicest  fruits  and  flowers,  and 
cages  of  the  most  gorgeous  birds;  whilst  at 
either  end  of  the  bath  stood  huge  vases  of 
porcelain,  filled  with  a  rare  sort  of  water-lily, 
and  with  strange  and  beautiful  fish. 

The  lovely,  the  amiable  Tou-Keen  pre- 
pared for  the  bath,  and  dismissed  her  atten- 
dants. She  floated  in  the  cool  cocoa-nut 
milk  and  high-scented  cinnamon  waters ;  and 
by  drawing  a  tasselled  string,  upset  a  basket 
which  had  been  suspended  near  the  ceiling, 
immediately  over  the  bath,  and  brought  down 
upon  herself  a  dewy  shower  of  roseleaves. 

"And  so,"  said  she  musingly,  "it  is  really 
the  fact  that  that  aspiring  Si-Long,  who 
would  have  made  the  surpassingly  beautiful 
Tou-Keen  a  mandarin's  wife — Tou-Keen, 
who  was  born  to  rule  the  ruler  of  the  world, 
— it  is  really  a  fact  that  he  was  scorched  to 
death  in  this  very  delightful  bath !  Well, 
how  exceedingly  singular!  Ha!  ha!  ha!  I, 
wonder  which  way  he  fell?  whether  his  head 
was  on  this  side  or  on  that  ?     I  can  fancy  his 


160  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

nose  coming  in  contact  with  it  here  :  he !  he ! 
he  !  And  here,  as  sure  as  I'm  an  Empress, 
is  a  Httle  crack.  Hi !  hi !  What  have  we 
here?" 

There  was  a  little  crack,  as  the  Empress 
had  said  ;  and  in  the  little  crack  was  a  little 
crooked  coin, — the  talisman  which  Si-Long 
had  lost.  The  Uttle  crooked  coin  was  almost 
hidden  in  the  little  crack  ;  and  both  the  little 
crack  and  the  little  crooked  coin  were  so  little 
as  before  to  have  escaped  notice.  Tou-Keen, 
however,  detected  them.  When  she  saw  the 
little  crack  she  inserted  in  it  the  tip  of  one  of 
her  long  nails,  and  as  she  scraped  that  along 
it  directed  her  eye  towards  the  little  crooked 
coin.  No  sooner  did  she  perceive  the  latter, 
than,  as  was  very  natural,  her  fingers  were 
upon  it.  That  little  coin,  you  will  remem- 
ber, was  a  coin  of  virtues.  It  would  make 
hard  things  easy;  it  would  aid  in  devices;  it 
would  make  hot  cold,  and  cold  hot.  But  un- 
touched it  would  do  nothing.  No  sooner, 
then,  did  the  beautiful  finger  of  Tou-Keen 
come  in  contact  with  it,  than  the  thermome- 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH.  161 

terinthe  bath  was  at  "Cocoa-nut  milk  boils ;" 
and  the  lovely  Empress,  who  was  at  the  mo- 
ment laughing  ho!  ho!  ho!  at  one  side  of  her 
mouth,  forthwith  laughed  oh  !  oh  !  oh!  on  the 
other. 

The  lish  began  to  wriggle  their  tails  very 
livelily,  and  to  turn  up  their  noses;  the  birds 
to  sing  as  merrily  as  though  a  pie  had  been 
opened ;  but  Tou-Keen  wriggled  worse  than 
the  fish,  and  sung  out  more  loudly  than  her 
feathered  companions. 

Her  attendants^  came  tottering  into  the 
chamber.  Oh,  remarkable  sight!  in  the  very 
bath  in  which  Si-Long  had  been  roasted, 
Tou-Keen  was  stewed ! 

Tou-Keen  lived  just  long  enough  to  devise 

most  fantastic  tortures   for  those  who  had 

made  the  bath,  for  those  who  conveyed  it  to 

Peking,  for  those  who  prepared  it  for  her  use, 

and  for  all  the  members  of  her  household. 

But  unfortunately  Tou-Keen  died;  and  the 

Emperor  wisely  considered  that  the  loss  of 

so  excellent  a  mistress  and  Empress  would 

be  sufficient  torture  for  all  his  loyal  subjects. 
14* 


162  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Between  ourselves, — the    Emperor    had 
grown  tired  of  her  tyranny,  and  was  very 
well  pleased  to  be  thus  quit  of  his  lady ;  so 
he  sent  an  order  to  King-te-chin,  and  to  all 
the  other   porcelain  factories,   commanding 
that  the  youth  who  had  formed  such  a  won- 
derful bath,  and  who  had  disposed  of  himself 
in  such  a  wonderful  manner,  should  thence- 
forth be  worshipped  as  the  god  of  the  fur- 
naces;* and  he  himself  made  a  present  of 
three  junk  loads  of  paper  to  be  burned  before 
his  shrine.     Thus  the  promise  of  the  joss 
was  fulfilled,  that  the  Emperor  should  yet 
honour  Si-Long,  and  that  Si-Long's  name 
should  go  forth  through  all  the  land,  and  be 
remembered  through  all  ajres. 

The  Emperor,  though  pleased,  mourned 
very  affectionately  for  the  beautiful  Tou- 
Keen,  and  always  preserved  with  great  care 
a  purse  manufactured  from  her  skin. 

You  would,  perhaps,  wish  to  know  what 
became  of  the  old  physician.  Being  ill,  in 
a  moment  of  infatuation  he  prescribed  for 
himself. 

»  See  note,  T. 


THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 


THE   EMPEROR  HWANG-TE. 

Let  the  Emperor  plough,  and  the  Empress  spin  ; 

Good  iron,  I  wot,  is  better  than  tin ; 

And  a  garment  of  silk  is  soft  to  the  skin.  Song. 

Cycles  and  kalpas  f  have  come  and  have  fled, 
Since  the  days  when  the  Emperor  Hwang-te  sat 

At  the  door  of  his  house,  where  his  table  was  spread 
Over  a  carpet  of  cocoa-nut  mat. 

*  The  legends  of  the  Emperor  Ilwang-te,  or  Hoang-ty,  belong 
to  a  period  of  Chinese  history  which  certain  even  of  the  native 
writers  incline  to  look  upon  as  somewhat  apocryphal.  Hwang-te 
was  the  second  of  the  human  rulers  of  the  Celestial  Land  ;  •'  he 
was  called  the  Divine  Husbandman,  and  taught  his  people  the 
arts  of  agriculture,  medicine,  and  music;  whilst  his  Empress 
introduced  the  manufacture  of  silk."  (Holman's  Travels  in 
China.)  Hum-Drum,  the  moralist,  poet,  and  historian,  has  given, 
in  the  following  narrative,  a  more  detailed  account  than  is  to  be 
met  with  in  any  other  w^riter,  of  tiie  origin  of  that  still-existing 
custom  which  confers  renown  upon  the  name  of  Hwang. 

I  Chinese  divisions  of  time,  into  periods  of  sixty  years  and  of 
a  thousand  ages,  respectively. 


164  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

His  diet  was  simple :  rice,  water,  and  meat : 
Not  costly  or  rare, — marry,  wholesome  and  sweet ; 
Yea,  whether  to  subjects  or  whether  to  kings, 
Meat,  water,  and  rice  be  the  healthfulest  things. 

His  robe  of  state  was  a  silken  stuff, 

But    the    worms    then   scarce   had   learned    to 
spin ; 
His  sceptre  brave  was  of  elk-horn  rough, 

All  adorned  with  knobs  of  brass  and  tin. 
And  sovereign  and  worshipful  lord  was  he. 
Of  the  Central  Land  of  rice  and  tea; 
And  of  course  all  the  world  was  beneath  his  com- 
mand. 
Because  he  was  Lord  of  the  Central  Land. 

But  clouds  o'er  Hwang-te's  spirit  passed. 
And  Hwang-te  beat  his  breast  and  sighed; 

For  honours  high  and  empire  vast. 
Were  not  enough  to  feed  his  pride. 

Though  sages  round  his  throne  bowed  low. 

And  sceptred  kings  performed  Kovv-to, 

His  soul  was  sad  with  griefs  untold; 

He  pined  for  wealth  of  gems  and  gold. 

*'  Oh  !  what  a  glorious  thing  it  were, 

To  have  a  house  with  silver  walls, 
Roofed,  not  with  boughs  of  shaven  fir, 

But  golden  bars  and  golden  balls; 


I 


THE   EMPEROR    HWANG-TE.  165 

The  floors  of  porphyry,  or  of  brass ; 
The  throne  hewn  from  a  crystal  mass ; 
With  flower-pots,  tables,  lamps  and  jars, 
Of  emeralds,  jacinths,  jets,  and  spars ! 

"  Oh !  would  I  had  a  garden  rare, 
Its  trees  all  formed  with  ivory  stems, 

Their  leaves  of  silver  pure  and  fair. 

Their  flowers  of  pearls,  their  fruits  of  gems, 

The  paths  inlaid  with  stones  of  price, 

And  fret-works  round  of  rare  device. 

That  kings  might  come  from  far  to  see. 

And  sages  envy  rich  Hwang-te !" 

The  moon  arose,  and  rose  Hwang-te, 

The  richest,  poorest  man  of  men: 
He  glanced  around  that  none  might  see, 

And  wandered  up  a  gloomy  glen, 
^  gloomy  glen  whose  shades  seemed  meant 
For  wo  and  hate,  and  discontent; 
Its  cheeriest  spots  were  thick  with  graves ; 
The  rest  with  vaporous  pits  and  caves. 

And  serpent  roots  about  them  twined, 
Of  all  unwholesome  trees  and  shrubs. 

With  cankerous  stalk  and  leprous  rind, 
Deep-gnawed  by  huge  and  ghastly  grubs, 

Some  leafless  rose  of  bony  white ; 

Some  clotted  their  shadows  as  thick  as  nisht : 


166  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

And  the  clam  and  the  grease  that  thence  distilled, 
With  worse  than  upas'  bane  were  filled. 

Not  far  within  that  haggard  glen, 

Had  ever  a  mortal's  foot  been  set ; 
It  was  not  stored  with  breath  for  men, 

But   there   oozed    from   the  rocks   a  venomous 
sweat ; 
And  cumbrous  slimy  lumps  drew  there 
A  sort  of  life  from  the  vicious  air,  ^ 
And  wherever  they  crawled  o'er  branches  blue, 
A  festering  rot  went  through  and  through. 

But  Hwang,  O  1  he  was  an  Emperor  grand, 
The  "  Son  of  Heaven"  and  lord  of  earth  ; 
And  therefore  might  the  taint  withstand, 

Mortal  to  men  of  lowlier  worth : 
And  up  the  glen  he  boldly  marched, 
'Mongst  gaping  pits  and  caverns  arched, 
With  chambers  black  and  portals  gray, 
Where  night  might  hide  herself  i'  the  day. 

He  heeded  not  the  shapeless  newts, 

And  worms  enorme,  all  blotched  and  bloated; 
The  grisly  flowers  and  death-clammed  fruits. 

And  venom  dews  he  scantly  noted : 
The  stagnant,  black,  and  glutinous  pools, 
And  cavernous  crypts,  fit  haunts  for  ghouls: 
Nor  marked  he  aught  the  rankling  smell. 
That  seemed  as  Time  were  dead  i'  the  dell. 


THE    EMPEROR   HWANG-TE.  167 

Natheless  his  lids  were  opened  wide, 
And  on  the  ground,  in  pensive  guise, 

He  seemed  to  look;  but  thought  inside 
Had  closed  its  shutters  o'er  his  eyes. 

"  Far  in  the  valley's  dismal  cells, 

'TIS  said  a  strange  Magician  dwells, 

W  gryphon,  ghoul,  or  dragon  clan 

Disguised  beneath  the  form  of  man, 

"And  he  hath  heaps  of  glittering  ore 

And  walls  of  solid  marble  hewn, 
And  precious  stones  a  precious  store, 

And  priceless  shells  that  grow  i' the  moon. 
Now,  I  trust  'tis  sooth,  what  conjurors  tell, 
Ihat  such  brave  toys  be  hid  i'  the  dell  • 
An'  I  find  it  true  I  shall  e'en  make  bold 
lo  ask  for  a  part  of  his  gems  and  gold." 

On  strode  Hwang-te;  and  he  came  at  last 

To  a  rock  like  a  skull,  half-bleached  by  time  • 
Its  toothless  jaws  were  a  cavern  vast 

And  the  caves  of  its  eyes  were  roped  with  slime- 
Around  it  a  forest  of  fungi  grew  * 

Each  as  huge  and  as  black  and  as  broad  as  a  yew- 
Whose  rotten  parts  lay,  half  crumbled  and  eaten  ' 
Like  pieces  of  wreck  on  a  shore  storm-beaten! 

There  throned  on  a  fragment  of  blue  decay 
Within  the  fungi's  grumous  shade,  ^ 

With  bloodless  flesh  of  a  greeny  gray 
And  m  worm-eaten  sepulchre  cloths  arrayed 


168  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

The  Enchanter  sat,  with  a  ghastly  grin, 
While  fanning  himself  with  a  dragon's  fin, 
And  smoking  the  flabbiest  leaves  he  could  cull, 
Through  a  stork's  leg-bone  and  a  badger's  skull. 

His  head  on  its  pivot  he  slowly  rolled, 
And  bent  his  eyes  on  bold  Hwang-te ; 

His  eyes  as  unlike  life  and  cold 

As  the  jellies  thrown  up  o'  the  sands  o'  the  sea. 

Then  he  clenched  his  fan  in  a  firmer  gripe, 

And  tapped  on  a  fungus  the  bowl  of  his  pipe : 

O'er  a  snake-long  slug  its  ashes  flew. 

And  the  venomous  juice  soon  burned  him  through. 

And  he  spoke  in  a  voice  to  make  flesh  freeze, — 
So  strange  its  spell  that  at  each  cold  word 

A  thick  black  clam  oozed  out  of  the  trees, 
And  the  air  grew  into  a  closer  curd ; 

And  Hwang-te  gasped  with  a  choky  pain, 

As  though  a  corpse  on  his  chest  had  lain ; 

His  beard  stood  forth  as  stiff"  as  a  fin, 

And  his  flesh  grew  as  rough  as  a  crocodile's  skin : 

"  And  who  art  thou  of  mortal  mould, 

That  venturest  thus  within  this  glen. 
Where  none  but  ghosts  and  corpses  cold 

Have  walked  before  i'  the  shapes  of  men? 
Where  snake-banc,  ghoul-drakes,  dragon  stools, 
Grow  rank  round  the  craters  of  putrid  pools  ? 
Where  the  air  is  slab  and  hath  got  no  sky, 
And  the  light  seems  the  ghost-light  of  days  gone  by  ?" 


THE  EMPEROR  HWANG-TE.  169 

"Great  Emperor  I — Hwang-te  my  name, 
The  Son  of  Heaven,  and  Lord  of  Earth  ; 

The  ends  of  space  are  full  of  my  fame, 
And  stars  perplexed  to  express  my  worth. 

Yet  not  in  the  bounds  of  infinite  space 

Is  wretch  so  wretched  or  serf  so  base ; 

For,  though  I  be  great,  and  wise,  and  bold, 

I  haven't  got  pearls  and  gems  and  gold. 

'•  Oh,  fortune  foul  and  fate  accurst ! 

Oh,  boundless  draught  of  bitterest  bale  ! 
I  pine  for  wealth  with  a  noble  thirst, 

And  therefore  came  I  up  this  vale. 
They  say  that  thou  hast  heaps  of  ore, 
And  diamonds  bright  in  countless  store ; 
To  glut  mine  eyes  with  these  I  come. 
And  I  mightily  pray  ye,  give  me  some." 

"  An'  if  ye  dare  to  tread  with  me 

Through  the  palpable  dark  of  this  cave's  lone  halls, 
Where  the  moulds  on  the  floor  are  as  deep  as  your 

knee. 
And  the  cold  reek,  like  charnel-fat,  covers  the 

walls : 
Where  flame  will  not  burn,  and  no  light  can  exist 
Save  the  luminous  gleams  from  the  rot  of  the  mist ; 
Where  the  black  sucks  more  blackness  from  things 

of  dark  hue, 
Whence  the  young  of  the  dragon  grow  ghastlily 

blue : 

15 


170  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

"  I  will  show  ye  such  treasures,  deep  down  i'  the 
earth, 

As  ne'er  did  ye  even  in  thought  behold : 
Ye  shall  say  if  my  pearls  be  pearls  of  worth, 

And  I'll  make  ye  a  master  of  gems  and  gold. 
But  ere  we  go  bethink  ye  well 
The  air  how  rank  and  the  way  how  fell ; 
Lest  your  blood  turn  glue  as  the  path  we  tread, 
And  your  heart  be  cramped  in  a  knot  with  dread." 

•'Forsooth,  white  fear,  with  hair  so  lank, 
Is  what  my  Emperor  soul  contemns ; 
Though  the  way  be  fell  and  the  air  be  rank, 

Hwang.-te  will  be  thinking  of  gold  and  gems. 
So  lead  ye  the  way  through  the  cave's  black  hollow, 
And  doubt  not  but  I  shall  be  prompt  to  follow. 
For  what  worse  lot  could  fate  unfold 
Than  not  to  have  gems,  and  pearls,  and  gold  ?" 

They  entered  then  the  portal  grim, 

Which  choked  what  more  Hwang-te  would  say : 
He  felt  cold  slugs  on  every  limb, 

And  his  heart  seemed  a  cold  moist  lump  of  clay. 
Two  luckless  beams  that  had  come  in  there, 
And  never  again  must  emerge  to  air. 
Showed  into  what  ridges  the  roof  was  thrown, 
Like  a  skeleton's  ribs  and  its  gray  back-bone. 

Hwang-te  glared  round,  below,  aloft. 

But  he  said  to  himself  "  Oh,  gems  and  gold  !" 

And  such  like  sounds  which  he  uttered  oft, 
Were  talisman  words  that  made  him  bold : 


THE  EMPEROR  HWANG-TE.  17  i 

And  he  would  not  shrink  though  the  sounds  of  the 

chasm 
Seemed  the  gasps  and  groans  of  unearthly  spasm, 
And  the  green  mists  did  all  hideous  forms  assume 
As  they  battened  on  fat  of  the  putrid  gloom. 

Oh,  what  are  the  terrors  but  man  will  dare 

When  led  by  the  sateless  thirst  of  treasure ! 
What  way  through  water,  or  earth,  or  air, 

Or  fire,  or  blood,  but  his  steps  will  measure  ! 
Then  surely  is  gold  a  talisman  strange 
That  the  inborn  nature  of  man  can  change ; 
That  can  make  the  deaf  asp  put  out  ears  as  it  clinks, 
Turn  the  dove  to  a  vulture,  the  mole  to  a  lynx. 

Hwang-te  knew  not  what  hours  went  by 

As  after  his  grisly  guide  he  strode 
Down  steeps  and  chasms,  now  low,  now  high. 

Now  narrow,  now  wide,  a  hideous  road. 
But  the  ceaseless  drip  of  a  foul  bitumen, 
Whose  motion  served  faintly  the  mists  to  illumine. 
And  blast-borne  shrieks,  a  ghostly  chime, 
With  horrid  monotony  doled  out  time. 

Till  a  corpse-cold  stream  in  its  cavernous  course 
Hurried  them  swift  as  a  meteor  could  follow, 

Where  a  whirlpool  of  wind  with  circling  force, 
Sucked  them  down  in  its  plumbless  hollow ; 

When  thrown  again  on  the  solid  ground. 

Soon  as  Hwang-te  could  gaze  around, 


172  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Stunned  with  his  ride  in  the  demon  car^ 
Lo,  a  hght  like  the  moon  afar ! 

Lo,  a  light  like  the  moon  afar. 

And  there  towards  the  Sorcerer  turned ; 
"  Now  near  to  the  goal  of  our  toil  we  are, 

And  near  the  prize  you  well  have  earned/' 
And  larger  the  moonHght  opening  grew, 
As  with  quick  steps  they  towards  it  drew ; 
And  a  halo  around  it  seemed  to  blaze 
Of  purple  and  green  and  golden  rays. 

And  soon  upon  either  side  their  way. 

The  rocks  were  bright  with  veined  ore ; 
But  ha  !  they  have  reached  the  gates  of  day, 

They  emerge  to  a  realm  of  light  once  more. 
Then  down  on  the  earth  the  Emperor  lies, 
And  shields  for  awhile  his  dazed  eyes, 
For  when  one  long  hath  groped  i'  the  dim, 
IJght  is  but  a  new  sort  of  dark  to  him. 

Oh,  there  was  a  realm !  a  world  in  the  earth 
With  a  diamond  sun  and  a  sapphire  sky  ! 
And  a  town  in  the  midst,  to  sum  whose  worth 

In  vain  ten  myriad  tongues  might  try ! 
With  golden  gates  to  its  gorgeous  halls. 
Where  no  life  breathes  and  where  no  foot  falls ; 
Roofs  carved  of  jade  in  twist  and  twirl, 
And  topaz  towers  and  domes  of  pearl. 


THE  EMPEROR  HWANG-TE.  173 

And  high  in  the  midst  was  a  palace  set 

On  a  hundred  steps  of  rarest  yu ; 
And  dragons  of  emerald,  gold,  and  jet, 

In  ly-long  avenues  led  thereto ; 
Of  amethyst  built  its  walls  and  towers. 
Its  pillars  of  silver  wrought  with  flowers  ; 
And  silver  and  golden  frets  between. 
Formed  many  a  fanciful  fringe  and  skreen. 

Around  it  twelve  pagodas  rose, 

With  garnet  base  and  crystal  tops ; 
Adorned  with  prominent  eaves,  and  those 

With  horns  and  dragons  and  pearly  drops: 
For  seven  tall  stories  were  set  between, 
Of  purple  and  crimson,  and  gold  and  green; 
Massive,  but  so  transparent  of  hue. 
That  the  circling  stairs  were  in  part  seen  through. 

And  far  around  that  palace  bright 

Were  wondrous  gardens  no  less  fair ; 
Where  all  the  trees  that  met  the  sight 

Were  formed  of  things  as  rich  and  rare. 
There  were  goodly  clumps  of  golden  palms ; 
One  date  from  those  were  an  Emperor's  alms : 
And  the  thick  dark  greens  of  orange  groves  old 
Were  covered,  for  fruit,  with  globes  of  gold. 

And  the  apricots  there  had  topaz  fruits ; 

From  the  mulberry  trees  rich  garnets  fell ; 
And  the  rice  drew  pearls  from  its  silver  roots; 

And  rubies  filled  the  pomegranate  shell. 
15* 


174  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

The  fruits  of  all  the  trees  were  gems  ; 
And  bronze  and  brass  were  the  meanest  stems : 
And  the  leaves,  o'erwrought  with  vein  and  streak, 
Were  of  emerald,  jade,  or  verde  antique. 

And  armies  of  flowers  sprang  out  of  the  earth, 

Or  leaned  from  the  rich  fantastic  vase, 
Whose  petals  were  carven  from  stones  of  worth,, — 

Onyx,  and  beryl,  and  bright  turquoise. 
Sardine,  and  jacinth,  and  thousands  more, 
Such  as  never  were  seen  by  man  before; 
All  brighter  of  sheen  and  braver  of  tint. 
Than  such  as  be  coined  in  the  sun's  bright  mint.. 

And  through  the  garden  and  through  the  town 

A  river  of  liquid  silver  ran, 
Which  amethyst  boats  came  floating  down. 

With  never  a  pilot  in  form  of  man. 
And  here  and  there,  from  shore  to  shore. 
Bridges  of  opal  scanned  it  o'er ; 
And   veins  of  its  current,  conveyed  through   the 

ground, 
Formed  fountains  and  jets  in  the  vales  around. 

Hwang-te  gazed  round,  and  he  rubbed  his  eyes. 
For  he  scarce  could  trust  the  talc  they  told  ; 

He  had  oft-times  heard  of  sapphire  skies. 
And  oft-times  fancied  realms  of  gold; 

But  he  never  had  deemed  such  wealths  and  glories 

Were  any  thing  more  than  dreams  and  stories ; 


THE  EMPEROR  HWANG-TE.  175 

And,  lo  and  behold !  he  finds  at  last 
All  fancies  and  tales  so  far  surpassed. 

Oh,  Hwang  uplifted  his  hands  at  this, 

And  nothing  he  thought  could  make  him  gladder ; 
The  heart  in  his  bosom  seemed  svvoln  with  bliss. 

As  large  as  a  gourd,  or  a  full-blown  bladder. 
That  great  devotee  of  whom  mention  occurs, 
That  gazed  on  a  wall  for  seventy  years 
Without  winking  an  eye  or  bending  a  knee, 
Was  scarce  more  happy  than  bold  Hwang-te. 

He  felt  a  sort  of  devotion,  too, 

And  thought  he  for  ever  his  eyes  could  fix. 
Though  not  upon  mere  brick  walls,  'tis  true, 

Yet  on  walls  of  ruby  and  diamond  bricks. 
"  Oh  !  were  I  the  lord  of  a  realm  like  this, 
I  mightily  fear  I  should  burst  with  bliss. 
For  the  bound  of  my  heart  no  ribs  could  withstand 
Yet  I  would  I  were  lord  of  this  very  same  land." 

•'  I  give  thee  all,"  the  Enchanter  cried, 

"  The  city,  the  grounds,  the  groves,  the  flowers. 
The  river,  the  sky;  and  far  and  wide 

You  may  roam  through  the  halls  or  bask  in  the 
bovvers. 
80  I  leave  you  now  to  enjoy  alone 
The  limitless  wealth  that  is  all  your  own  ; 
And  should  you  wish  to  sec  me  more, 
I  will  be  at  your  side,  if  you  strike  the  floor." 


176  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

The  great  Hwang-te  had  fixed  his  gaze 

Like  a  screw,  to  the  sun's  broad  diamond  face: 
And    "  I    wonder,"   thought    he,   *'  how   much    it 
weighs? 
And  what  is  its  value  in  taels  and  mace  ?" 
But  he  heard  the  words  the  Enchanter  said, 
And  with  very  great  glee  he  turned  his  head  i 
He  turned  it  left  and  he  turned  it  right, 
But,  lo !  the  Wizard  was  not  in  sight. 

Hwang-te  was  filled  with  a  brief  surprize ; 

But   he   hadn't   much    time   to    spend   in   woa- 
der, 
There  were  so  many  things  to  engage  his  eyes 

And  thoughts,  around,  above,  and  under. 
He  was  brought  to  such  stand  still  by  these, 
They  seemed  to  have  put  a  bone  in  his  knees, 
To  have  stopped  his  wheels  or  broken  his  chain. 
And  'twas  long  ere  he  set  himself  going  again. 

At  last,  however,  the  wish  arose 

To  wander  a  little  about  this  realm, 
And  to  see  what  more  it  might  yet  disclose,. 

His  spirit  with  joy  to  quite  o'erwhelm. 
He  wanted  to  know  the  extent  of  the  land ; 
And  to  grapple  a  few  of  its  gems  in  his  hand ; 
And  to  list  to  the  music  so  fine  and  etherial, 
His  footsteps  might  rouse  from  such  precious  ma- 
terial. 


THE    EMPEROR  HWANG-TE.  177 

So  between  the  dragons  he  paced  alone, 
With  foot  so  free  and  with  brow  so  bold, 

O'er  flags  that  seemed  blood  turned  to  stone, 
Inlaid  with  flowers  and  stars  of  gold. 

And  up  the  flight  of  rarest  jade, 

With  their  frosted  silver  balustrade  ; 

Where,  ranged  on  plinths  above  and  below, 

Were  statues  of  coral  like  petrified  snow. 

And  he  entered  within  the  palace  so  bright. 

Whose  amethyst  walls  seemed  frozen  wine  ; 
And  under  a  dome  of  wondrous  height, 
The  richest  of  all  in  that  rich  mine. 
Twelve  topaz  ribs  around  it  beamed ; 
Like  a  strange  transparent  gold  they  seemed : 
And  the  parts  between  were  of  mother-o'-pearl, 
O'erwrought  with  flower,  and  leaf,  and  curl. 

The  light  that  the  diamond  sun  sent  through 
Was  faint  and  sick,  and  it  seemed  to  swoon  ; 

And  as  stout  Hwang-te  looked  up  thereto. 
He  fancied  himself  inside  the  moon. 

Full  under  the  dome,  in  the  midst  of  the  chamber. 

Was  a  beautiful  couch  all  draped  with  amber; 

The  frame  was  carven  of  mammoths'  bones, 

And  the  pillows  had  stuffing  of  precious  stones. 

Hwang-te  from  home  had  wandered  far ; 

First  up  the  Enchanter's  gloomy  glen ; 

And  without  any  light  of  sun  or  star. 

Through   the   cavernous   root  of  the  mountain 
then; 


178  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

And,  lastly,  some  way  he  had  dragged  his  bones 
Through   this    region    of  gold    and    of   precious 

stones ; 
And  his  hope  fulfilled  and  his  marvel  past, 
It  was  like  he  should  find  himself  weary  at  last. 

For  even  the  Sons  of  Heaven  must  crouch 
To  the  lash  of  hunger  and  toil  and  ache  : 
So  he  threw  himself  on  the  beautiful  couch, 

Where  he  meant  some  short  repose  to  take. 
"  Oh  what,**  thought  he,  "  will  dreams  unfold. 
Where  awake  we  things  like  dreams  behold  ? 
But  I  fear  it  would  spoil  me  of  much  of  my  bliss 
Could  I  dream  there  was  any  thing  richer  than 
this." 

He  threw  himself  on  the  glittering  mass ; 

But  though  it  w^as  good  to  set  one's  eye  on, 
He  found  that  his  mattress  of  feathers  and  grass 

Was  by  many  degrees  more  pleasant  to  lie  on : 
A  bed  and  pillow  of  precious  stones, 
Give  very  poor  rest  to  aching  bones ; 
And   he  'd  just   then   have  parted   with  bed  and 

dome 
For  the  homely  mattress  he  left  at  home. 

He  toss'd  about  on  the  golden  mesh, 

And  twisted  his  body  in  strangest  curves  ; 

For  emeralds  and  rubies  ran  into  his  flesh, 
And  the  points  of  diamonds  bruised  his  nerves. 


THE   EMPEROR   HWANG-TE.  179 

He  uttered  loud  groans,  and  heaved  deep  sighs, 

And  scarce  had  power  at  last  to  rise, 

When   his   back    was   torn,   and   his   Hmbs   were 

sore. 
And  he  more  worn  than  he  was  before. 

Then  he  went  from  the  dome  by  an  arched  way, 

And  passed  along  through  a  corridor  dim. 
Where  the  lights  and  shadows  appeared  to  play 

At  a  game  of  hide  and  seek  with  him. 
And  he  came  to  a  high  and  gorgeous  hall. 
With  an  ivory  roof  and  an  emerald  wall, 
With  plianths  and  pilasters  and  pillars  of  jet, 
And  a  cornice  of  gold  with  a  ruby  fret. 

The  carpet  was  woven  of  silver  twine, 

And  gold,  and  metals  more  bright  than  these. 

Crimson  and  green ;  with  a  rare  design 
Of  butterflies,  flowers,  and  birds,  and  trees. 

The  hundred  lamps,  hung  upon  rich  silver  twist. 

Were  of  ruby,  pearl,  emerald,  and  amethyst ; 

And   the   diamonds   that   lit   them,   seemed,   each 
one; 

A  splinter  hewn  from  the  mid-day  sun. 

And  all  adown  the  lengthened  aisles 
(Oh,  sight  that  made  his  heart  rejoice  !) 

Were  glittering  tables,  heaped  with  piles 
Of  fruits  and  viands  most  rare  and  choice. 

Orange  and  mango,  and  citron  and  pine. 

And  the  clustered  wealth  of  the  golden  vine : 


180  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Beetles  of  jet  and  opal  snails, 

And  agates  carven  as  monkeys'  tails. 

When  Hwang  beheld  these  goodliest  things, 
His  stomach  was  cramped  with  hungers  grip ; 

And  his  jaws  seemed  tightly  tied  with  strings ; 
And  he  felt  cold  glue  upon  either  lip. 

But  his  tongue  slipped  about  on  his  upper  teeth, 

With  a  watery  bed  at  its  sides  and  beneath ; 

And  to  look  at  his  eyes  you  would  soon  have  di- 
vined 

'Twas  a  long  time  since  Hwang-te  had  dined. 

But  with  marble  meats  his  teeth  he  marred, 
And  with  stone  fruits  there  of  countless  sorts ; 

The  silver  eggs  he  found  too  hard. 

And  he  could  not  quench  his  thirst  with  quartz. 

Some  ivory  fish  he  essayed  to  chew ; 

(Such  giants  might  use  if  they  played  at  loo ;) 

With  plum-pudding  stone  he  cracked  his  jaw ; 

And  gneiss  was  a  nasty  thing  to  gnaw. 

But  still  the  stones  at  which  he  bit, 

To  hunger's  edge,  sharp  whetstones  proved ; 
And  with  ravenous  fire  his  eyes  were  lit, 

And    with    hungry   furrows    his    cheeks    were 
grooved : 
His    stomach    was   clammed   as   a  cloth    that    is 

wrung, 
And  sharp  worms  seemed  afeed  at  the  root  of  his 
tongue; 


THE    E:\IPER0R    n\VANG-TE.  181 

And  he  felt  the  fierce  ache  of  desire  in  his  jaws, 
Such  as  makes  the  hyaina  devour  its  own  paws. 

He  thought  of  his  fare  in  the  world  he  had  left. 
And  his  bowels  yearned  sore  for  a  pot-full  of  rice : 

And  he  fell  down  as  one  of  his  reason  bereft, 
With  eyes  starling  out,  and  with  teeth  like  a 
vice ; 

His  throat  seemed  convulsed  as  there  died  in 't  a  groan : 

He  dug  his  long  nails  through   the  cheek  to  the 
bone ; 

And  he  grinned  a  grim  grin,  and  in  rage  and  de- 
spair 

(Iround  his  head  on  the  floor  till  the  skull  was  half 
bare. 

As  he  struck  the  stone,  lo !  a  shade  was  thrown 
On  the  slab  where  erst  no  shade  might  be ; 

And  the  Wizard's  voice  in  a  cavernous  tone, 

Cried,  "  Hwang,  what  wouldest  thou  more  with 
me?" 

Hwang  stared,  but  new  hope  gave  him  words  in  a 
trice, — 

•*  I  would  fain  a  fair  pot  of  your  well-sodden  rice, 

And  a  jug  of  fresh  water  to  moisten  my  maw ; 

And  a  bed  to  repose  on  of  feathers  and  straw." 

"  Ho,  ho !"  said  the  Wizard,  "  and  have  ye  not  gold  ? 

And  have  ye  not  silver  and  stones  of  price  ? 
Nor  yet  is  your  lust  of  wealth  controlled? 

And  will  not  the  gifts  ye  have  got  suffice  ? 
16 


182  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Is  this  banquet  unworth  1  are  my  beds  of  no  cost '( 
Do  ye  wail  for  wiiat  poor  things  of  earth  ye  have 

lost? 
No  rice  save  of  pearl  may  be  found  in  this  place, 
No  beds  save  of  gems  in  their  rich  silver  case." 

"  For  a  pot-full  of  rice  I  thy  pearls  will  restore, 

Your  beds  of  gems  for  a  bed  of  straw ; 
This  wealth  would  I  lose  were  't  a  myriad  times 
more, 
To  appease    the  fierce  vulture  at  work    in  my 
maw. 
For  what  is  the  worth  of  all  riches  to  Hwang, 
If  wolfish-eyed  hunger  in  him  fix  its  fang, 
If  lidless  unrest  to  long  torture  condemn, 
And  he  die,  mid  the  gleaming  of  gold  and  gem  ? 

"  Oh  fool !"  quoth  the  Ghoul,  "  have  ye  learned  so 

soon 
The  value  of  wealth  in  infinite  heaps  ? 
Could  ye  feed  upon  rubies  as  large  as  the  moon. 
Would     mountains    of    chrysolite    yield    sweet 

sleeps  ? — 
It  would  serve  ye  but  well  should  I  leave  ye  to  gasp 
With  the  wolf  in  your  belly,  your  wealth  in  your 

grasp ; 
To  starve    with   the   banquet  spread  out  in   your 

view, 
And  rot  among  gems  that  pertain  but  to  you. 


THE  EMPEROR  HWANG-TE.  183 

"But,  an'  if  yc  be  willing  to  yield  back  my  wealth, 
I  will  bear  ye  once  more  to  the  world  whence  yc 

came, 
Where  the  blessings  of  plenty,  of  rest,  and  of  health, 
Should  have  made  the  fierce  demon  of  avarice 

tame. 
Go  home  and  enjoy,  with  enough  and  to  spare ; 
And  know  that  more  wealth  is  more  sorrow  and 

care; 
With  your  silk  and  your  rice  be  content  if  ye  can, 
And  learn  the  real  blessings  of  nature  to  man  !" 

Then  fell  a  thick  mist  on  Hwang-te's  eyes. 
And  quite  overcome  with  hunger's  pain, 

He  fell  on  the  floor  and  did  not  rise. 
Or  open  his  lids  in  those  halls  again. 

How  he  came  from  thence  to  the  upper  world 

Is  a  secret  for  ever  in  mystery  furled : 

But  soon  as  the  trance  of  his  spirit  fled, 

He  found  himself  at  his  home  in  bed. 

He  found  himself  at  his  home  in  bed, 

His  bed  of  feathers  and  moss  and  silk ; 
And  lo !  at  his  side  a  table  spread, 

With  rice  and  meat  and  cocoa-nut  milk. 
His  absence  had  filled  his  serfs  with  doubt, 
So  in  search  for  their  Lord  they  wandered  out : 
He  was  found  at  the  mouth  of  the  Wizard's  Glen, 
And  they  bore  him  thence  to  the  realms  of  men. 


184  THE   PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Tliey  had  sought  him  at  night  till  dawn  of  day; 

When  found  he  was  stiff  with  a  death-cold  cramp  ; 
And  his  raiment  was  heavy  with  slime  and  clay, 

And  his  flesh  with  an  unctuous  dew  was  damp. 
With  spirit  of  rice  they  rubbed  his  limbs, 
And  sung  by  his  bed  some  virtuous  hymns ; 
And  life  came  back  to  his  lips  and  eyes, 
And  they  marvelled  to  hear  his  words  so  wise. 

"  Oh,  rice,"  said  Hwang,  "  is  better  than  gold. 
And  silk  is  softer  than  pointed  gems ; 

('ontentment  is  richer  than  wealth  untold. 

And  wisdom  more  sovereign  than  kings'  diadems. 

80  a  goodly  example  (ye  stars,  hear  my  vow  !) 

Will  I  set  my  brave  people,  by  following  the  plough ; 

And  my  Empress  shall  teach  to  make  raiment  and 
beds, 

By    feeding    fat    silk-worms    and    winding    their 
threads." 

And  well  b}^  Hwang  were  his  words  fulfilled, 
Whence  a  custom  grew,  and  even  till  now, 
On  a  certain  day  the  fields  are  tilled 

When  the  Emperor's  hand  doth  guide  the  plough. 
And  the  zeal  of  the  Empress  is  no  wise  less  ample, 
To  give  all  the  ladies  a  worthy  example: 
So  she  shows  them  the  way  to  make  beds  and  habi- 
liments. 
By  feeding  fat  silk-worms  and  winding  their  fila- 
ments.* 

*  See  note,  U. 


THE    PORCELAIN    TOWER- 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK; 


OR 


THE  CUNNING  SHAVER,  CHIN.* 

Who  soaps  my  chin, 
And  tickles  my  skin, 
With  a  straw  or  a  pin  ?  t 

My  Barber '. 
From  the  First  Book  of  the  Celestial  Classics. 

There  are  no  barbers  in  the  world  to  com- 

*  Between  this  story  and  an  adventure,  forming  part  of  a 
Chinese  romance,  wiiicli  has  before  been  translated  into  English, 
several  points  of  rcsemblanee  arc  discoverable.  But  whether 
these  coincidences  are  accidental,  or  which  of  the  Celestial 
writers  may  have  been  beholden  to  the  other,  wc  shall  not  attempt 
to  decide. 

t  See  note,  V. 

16* 


186  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

pare  with  those  of  the  Celestial  Land.  Bar- 
bers are  a  genus  almost  extinct  among  the 
nations  of  the  West,  and  especially  among 
Protestant  nations.  In  Catholic  countries  a 
certain  few  are  still  kept  up  for  the  tonsure 
of  the  crowns  of  monks  and  friars ;  but  as 
Catholicism  seems  to  be  spreading  in  our 
own  machanical  land,  no  doubt  even  these 
will  soon  be  superseded  by  machines  for  de- 
pilating the  head.  But  the  barbers  craft  is 
more  exercised  in  China  than  in  thrice  the 
world  besides.  Beards,  indeed,  there  be 
few;  but  then  there  be  some  two  hundred 
million  of  heads  to  give  daily  employment 
to  the  razor  ;  and  a  man  cannot  venture  the 
sharp  steel  over  his  own  occiput  as  he  can 
over  his  lip  or  chin.  The  children  as  well 
as  the  men  are  shaven.  And  so  considerable 
are  the  crops  thus  reaped  by  the  razor,  that 
the  mixed  quisquilice  of  hair  and  lather  form 
an  object  of  traffic  betwixt  the  barbers  and 
market-gardeners;*  and  it  is  said  that  the 
ground   which  has  been   fertilized  by  this 

•  See  note,  W. 


MARRIAGE    IN  A  MASK.  187 

compost  is  particularly  productive  in  bam- 
boos and  sugar-canes. 

It  has  often  been  remarked  that  particular 
pursuits  exercise  a  particular  effect  upon 
men's  characters  :  that  lawers,  for  example, 
as  the  shadow — as  the  light,  we  mean— of 
law  steals  over  them,  become  gradually 
cautious  and  cunning,  and  incapable  of  dis- 
tinguishing right  from  wrong  excepting  by 
the  aid  of  legal  lences.  The  physician  is 
known  by  his  air  of  urbanity  and  wisdom ; 
what  can  be  so  bland  as  his  smile  when  he 
assures  you  that  nothing  upon  earth  is  half 
so  agreeable  as  the  amalgam  of  rhubarb  and 
asafoetida  he  has  just  been  prescribing? — 
But  the  surgeon,  whose  manipulations  of  the 
suffering  are  of  a  sterner  nature  than  mere 
examinations  of  the  pulse,  is  a  different  per- 
sonage quite ;  and  can  wear  an  unfeeling 
scowl,  as  he  pokes  some  deviFs  claw  of  a 
crooked  steel  instrument  into  your  body,  your 
arm,  or  your  eye !  See  how  some  ranting, 
gin-drinking  scion  of  iniquity  becomes  trans- 
mogrified— we  will  not  say  in  character,  but 


188  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

in  outward  development  of  character, — 
when  he  takes  up  with  the  art,  business,  and 
mystery  of  Methodist  ministerialism.  And 
it  is  the  case  in  like  manner  with  other  trades 
and  professions,  that  the  followers  of  any 
one  have  their  characters  so  modified  and 
assimilated  by  their  occupation  that  a  dis- 
criminating person  may  detect  from  their 
behaviour  and  appearance,  the  particular 
school  of  business  in  which  they  have  been 
educated.  How  instinctively  do  we  cry  out 
in  passing  through  the  streets,  this  man  is  a 
newspaper  editor,  and  that,  a  publican  ;  yet 
it  is  not  altogether  the  green-plaid  waistcoat, 
and  unbarbered  face,  that  certify  us  as  to  the 
one,  nor  the  red  nose  and  portly  paunch  that 
make  us  pronounce  upon  the  other.  The 
vest  and  the  beard  of  the  former  might  per- 
tain as  well  to  a  Jew  clothes-man,  or  a  land- 
scape-painter ;  and  the  proboscis  and  protu- 
berance of  the  latter  would  be  no  less  proper 
to  a  bishop  or  an  alderman.  But  the  habits 
of  the  man — the  habits  of  his  mind — are  ex- 


MARRIAGE    IN    A    MASK.  1S9 

liibited  in  other  ways  than  in  his  figure  or 
his  dress. 

The  influence  of  particular  pursuits  upon 
the  moral  and  intellectual  constitution  of 
man,  would  form  a  worthy  and  abounding 
subject  for  a  philosophical  treatise ;  and  if 
we  could  condescend  to  philosophy,  we 
would  follow  it  out  at  length.  We  are  phi- 
losophers, that  is,  a  philosopher ;  though  too 
philosophical  to  write  philosophy :  but  as 
there  is  no  knowing  to  what  we  may  be  re- 
duced, we  will  not  afiirm  that  we  never  shall 
devote  a  portion  of  our  valuable  time  to  this 
subject.  Poets  soar,  philosophers  dig ;  but 
fellows  like  ourselves,  the  comic  philosophers 
of  the  day,  dance  about,  hop,  skip,  and  jump, 
— pleasant  exercise,  though  no  very  useful 
employ.  We  would  soar,  but  we  have  no 
wings — besides,  it  don't  pay— and  we  would 
dig  !  but  that  we  hold  infra  dig :  or  in  for  a 
dig,  like  a  spade  in  a  potatoe  bed.  Besides,  in 
these  days,  philosophy  and  all  kinds  of  use- 
ful knowledge  are  as  plentiful  and  cheap  as 
potatoes,  and  we  find  it  less  troublesome  and 


190  THE  PORCELAIN  TOAVER. 

more  economical  to  buy  ours  ready-made. — 
Well  then,  for  the  present  we  will  have 
nothing  to  do  with  philosophy,  convinced 
that  to  eschew  it  is  the  truly  philosophical 
course.  "  Laugh  and  grow  fat,"  says  the 
proverb,  and  we  confess  ourselves  ambitious 
of  a  goodly  obesity ;  but  at  present  we  are 
as  lean  as  philosophy  itself  True,  we  have 
our  misgivings  as  to  the  expansive  power 
that  belongs  to  cachinnation  ;  but  we  do  not 
agree  with  the  fat  knight,  that  grief  puffs 
one'  out  like  a  bladder.  Therefore,  we  will 
try  to  be  merry ;  and  grief  we  will  certainly 
eschew. 

Bat,  Daniel  AppoUo,  Esq.,  where  are  we 
running  away  to  ?  We  started  from  the  sign 
of  the  Pole  and  the  Pewter  Basin,  and  we 
were  going  to  run  down  a  barber,  after  some 
talk  about  the  tribe ;  but  we  have  got  oif  the 
scent,  and  we  must  needs  try  back. 

There  are  no  barbers  in  the  world  to  com- 
pare with  those  of  the  Celestial  Land.  And 
yet  their  characteristic  features  are  as  like  to 
those  of  the  "shavers"  once  indigenous  in 


MARRIAGE    IN    A    MASK.  191 

the  West,  as  the  oranges  of  the  Central  Em- 
pire to  those  which  draw  out  a  feebler  exis- 
tence in  the  conservatory  of  Margam  Abbey. 
I  was  going  just  now  to  observe, — but  some 
observation,  equally  brilliant  shoved  this  out 
of  its  proper  place, — that  the  nature  of  many 
trades  and  professions  at  once  and  obviously 
explains  the  particular  bent  that  is  given  to 
the  characters  of  those  who  pursue  them  : 
thus,  nothing  can  be  more  natural  than  that 
undertakers  should  be  the  jolliest  dogs  in 
life ;  because  events  which  wet  the  cheeks, 
or  break  the  hearts  of  others,  are  sources 
of  the  most  comfortable  of  all  comforts — 
pecuniary  comfort — to  themselves.  But  in 
other  cases  an  explanation  is  more  difficult, 
and  thus  it  is  in  the  instance  of  barbers. — 
Why  these  should  be  a  loquacious  race,  may 
not  be  altogether  inexplicable ;  but  why 
they  should  be  gifted  with  keen  wits,  be 
greatly  given  to  practical  joking,  and  have 
a  universal  facility  in  settling  the  affairs  of 
other  folks,  it  is,  at  least,  not  easy  to  explain. 
Yet  that  such  is  the  case,  in  the  paucity  of 


192  THE  PORCELAIN  TOAVER. 

existing  specimens  of  the  genus,  I  appeal  to 
the  drama  and  romance  to  prove. 

Loquacity,  a  ready  wit,  a  disposition  to 
tricks  and  devices,  and  a  fondness  for  med- 
dling in  the  concerns  of  others,  are  the  cha- 
racteristics of  the  ten  millions  of  tensors  that 
flourish  cold  steel  over  the  two  hundred  mil- 
lions of  heads  in  the  Regions  of  Eternal 
Spring.  We  are  afraid  that  talking  of  bar- 
bers has  affected  ourselves  with  loquacious- 
ness ;  for  there  was  certainly  no  need  of  such 
a  number  of  pages  to  introduce  upon  the 
scene  so  humble  an  individual  as  the  barbej 
Chin. 

The  barber  Chin  was  a  gem  of  razordom, 
a  little  dapper  man  with  a  large  broad  head, 
long  flexible  pigtail,  small  rapid  eyes,  and  an 
expression  of  countenance  delightfully  bland. 
His  head  was  a  perfect  library  of  entertaining 
knowledge, — the  most  useful  sort  of  know- 
ledge to  him, — a  reading-room  of  magazines 
and  newspapers. 

Perhaps,  indeed,  the  circulation  of  maga- 
zines and  newspapers  in  the  West  may  have 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  193 

done  more  to  extinguish  the  race  of  barbers 
among  us  than  cheap  razors,  Mechi's  straps 
and  patent  shaving  soap  combined.  For 
Othello's  occupation  's  gone  :  barbers  were 
the  peripatetic  Heralds  and  Chronicles  of  the 
olden  day;  they  went  their  daily  rounds  from 
house  to  house  and  received  their  penny  at 
each, — not  for  denuding  a  chin,  for  folks 
might  have  shaved  themselves  then,  as  they 
do  now, — but  for  their  parliamentary  reports, 
their  police  intelligence,  their  births  and  mar- 
riages, and  cases  of  crim.  con.  We  pay  our 
nenny  now  for  a  reading  of  the  Times, — the 
newsman  has  superseded  the  barber, — the 
march  of  intellect  has  driven  from  the  field 
the  knights  of  the  razor,  and  thus  the  pro- 
gress of  civilization  accounts  for  the  decline 
of  barberism. 

Who  so  full  of  anecdote  and  song  and  mer- 
ry jest  as  Chin  ?  Who  so  dainty  and  scien- 
tific in  mixing  up  a  lather,  so  expeditious  and 
safe  in  the  employment  of  the  razor  ?  Who 
so  dexterous  and   quaint  in  shampooing  a 

customer,  so  sure  of  eliciting  a  smile,  whe- 
17 


194  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

ther  he  tickled  his  ear  with  a  straw  or  with 
a  story?  Who  so  ready  with  information 
and  advice  adapted  to  all  parties  and  to  all 
occasions, — with  plots  and  assistance  in  cases 
of  emergency  ?  And  all  these,  the  merits  of 
the  barber  Chin,  were  at  any  time  to  be 
brought  into  exercise  for  the  most  moderate 
fees. 

For  a  fee  of  five  dollars  the  ingenious  Chin 
had  brought  about  eternal  happiness  for  the 
previously  unfortunate  lovers  Wee-Ping  and 
Wa-Ling ;  and  within  six  months  after,  for 
a  similar  fee  from  each,  had  effected  their 
disunion.  For  ten  he  had  secured  a  poetical 
prize  to  the  collegian  Hi-Fli ;  and  for  u 
smaller  sum  had  subsequently  caused  the  un- 
fortunate poet  to  be  bambooed,  at  the  instance 
of  his  rival  bard  Lo-Flo.  For  a  hundred  he 
had  obtained  the  liberation  of  the  wealthy 
Swing,  who  was  condemned  to  suffer  torture 
and  decapitation  for  having  wantonly  set  fire 
to  a  village ;  and  for  another  fifty  had  had 
this  individual  exalted  to  the  chief  magistracy 
of  the  same  villao^e   when  it  was  rebuilt. 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  195 

You  may  think  he  would  soon  grow  rich 
upon  this  plan ;  but  out  of  the  sums  so  re- 
ceived he  could  reserve  only  to  himself  a 
moderate  per  centage,  as  he  in  his  turn  had 
many  parties  to  bribe  before  his  different  ob- 
jects could  be  obtained.  Oh,  happy  country ! 
Celestial  Land  !  where  all  ranks  may  equally 
participate  in  the  manifold  blessings  and  ad- 
vantages of  bribery !  True,  there  is  much  of 
bribery  and  corruption  in  our  own  less  fortu- 
nate country ;  but  these  only  work  well  when 
they  form  an  universal  system.  Now  in 
China  the  lowest  orders  can  bribe  the  lowest 
officers,  the  lowest  officers  can  bribe  the  man- 
darins, the  mandarins  can  bribe  the  govern- 
ors, the  governors  can  bribe  the  ministers, 
and  the  ministers  can  bribe  the  "  Son  of 
Heaven"  himself.  This  is  liberty  and  equal- 
ity, and  resembles  the  practice  in  shops, 
where  all  may  purchase  if  they  can  afford  to 
pay.  Depend  upon  it,  justice  that  is  given 
away  is  not  of  the  best  quality — it  goes  for 
nothing  ;  but  if  people  pay  well  for  it,  they 
may  be  secure  of  the  prime  article. 


196  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

We  are  on  a  wrong  plan  you  may  be  sure, 
and  do  not  consult  the  greatest  happiness  of 
the  greatest  number.  The  Chinese  practice 
does  so.  The  offender  bribes  the  judge,  and 
is  happy  to  escape  punishment;  the  judge  re- 
ceives the  bribe  and  is  happy  to  put  money 
in  his  purse;  and  the  offended  party  only  is 
dissatisfied.  Now  of  these  three  persons,  the 
offender  and  the  judge  constitute  a  greater 
number  than  the  man  offended,  in  the  propor- 
tion of  two  to  one;  and,  therefore,  there  can 
be  no  question  as  to  the  propriety  of  their 
being  made  happy,  although  at  his  expense. 
But,  if  the  offended  can  bribe  higher  than 
the  offender, — in  other  words,  if  he  can  afford 
to  pay  for  a  larger  slice  of  justice, — that  of 
course  works  a  radical  change  in  the  aspect 
of  affairs;  and  he  must  have  justice  then,  his 
due  purchase,  at  the  market  value. 

Chin  had  more  employment  than  he  could 
well  get  through,  among  the  elite  of  the  town 
in  which  he  resided:  he  was  a  clever  shaver, 
and  surrounded  by  sharp  blades. 

It  was  in  the  morning  of  a  certain  day  of 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  197 

a  certain  month  of  a  certain  year,  but  of 
what  certain  day  of  what  certain  month  and 
of  what  certain  year,  is  neither  quite  certain 
now  nor  in  any  way  important, — the  fashion- 
able Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang  was  submitting  his 
barber's  block  to  the  lather  and  cold  steel  of 
the  easy-fingered  Chin. 

"  Chin,"  said  he,  in  the  pleasant  and  fami- 
liar tone  in  which  fashionable  young  sparks 
address  those  of  inferior  condition  whom  they 
hope  to  make  useful  to  themselves, — "  Chin," 
said  he,  "  my  old  boy,  I  think  I  may  depend 
upon  you  for  secrecy  and  good  counsel  if  I 
should  discourse  to  you  upon  a  matter  of 
considerable  importance  to  myself." 

We  are  generally  ready  to  trust  those  who 
instruct  us  in  the  affairs  of  all  our  neigh- 
bours: the  confidence  they  exhibit  in  our- 
selves in  intrusting  to  us  the  secrets  they  re- 
ceive from  others  seems  naturally  to  chal- 
lenge our  confidence  in  return. 

"You  know  me  well,"  responded  Chin; — 
"  you  know  my  reputation  ; — I  am  an  iron 

chest  of  secrecy,  and  all  come  to  me  as  their 

17* 


198  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

depository  for  whatever  they  would  not  wish 
to  be  known;  but,  secrecy  is  a  rare  virtue, 
and  not  to  be  called  into  exercise  without  its 
equivalent. 

A  dollar  from  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang  was  ad- 
mitted as  an  equivalent  for  so  much  secrcey 
as  might  be  necessary  in  this  affair. 

'^You  must  know,  Chin,"  said  Ou-Rang- 
Ou-Tang,  relieved  in  mind  and  purse,  (for 
like  his  mind,  his  purse  was  not  well-fur- 
nished) "  you  must  know  that  I  am  distres- 
singly in  love  with  a  young  lady,  and  can 
never  be  at  peace  until  I  obtain  her  to  wife. 
Yet  there  are  some  troublesome  impediments 
to  our  union.  In  the  first  place,  she  loves 
another;  in  the  second,  he  loves  her;  in  the 
third,  he  is  valiant  and  strong;  and  in  the 
fourth,  she  abhors  me.  You  are  a  clever  fel- 
low, Chin, — tell  me  how  to  act  in  this  dis- 
agreeable state  of  affairs.  The  lady's  name 
is  Si-Hoo-Se ;  she  is  the  niece  of  old  No- 
Gho,  with  whom,  as  her  parents  are  both 
dead,  she  has  for  some  years  resided.     The 


MARRIAGE  IX  A  MASK.  199 

fame  of  her   beauty  has  no  doubt  reached 
your  ears." 

"Truly,"  said  Chin,  after  pondering  for 
some  time,  and  as  he  began  to  untie  his  cus- 
tomer's queue  that  he  might  replait  it  and 
adorn  it  with  a  fresh  piece  of  riband, — "  truly, 
in  my  time  I  have  solved  many  a  knotty 
point,  but  the  present  is  a  case  peculiarly 
perplexing.  I  shall,  no  doubt,  find  means  to 
overcome  the  difficulty  ;  but  this  will  not  be 
effected  without  a  somewhat  of  considera- 
tion." 

A  promise  of  fourtaels,if  the  tonsor  would 
devise  an  efficient  plan,  was  a  somewhat  of 
consideration  that  sharpened  up  the  inventive 
wit  of  Chin :  and,  after  pondering  the  matter 
for  awhile,  he  hinted  at  a  scheme,  by  which 
the  lovely  Si-Hoo-Se  should  be  deceived  into 
a  marriage  with  the  young  libertine. 

He  proposed  to  decoy  her  from  her  uncle's 
house  by  flattering  her  into  a  hope  of  a  meet- 
ing and  elopement  with  her  beloved  Long- 
Ku  ;  when,  dressed  as  Long-Ku,  and  with  a 
mask    upon   his    face,    Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang 


200  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

should  present  himself  before  her.  Masque- 
rading is  a  frequent  amusement  in  China, 
and  masks  are  assumed  on  a  thousand  differ- 
ent pretexts.  In  the  present  case,  Ou-Rang- 
Ou-Tang  was  to  pretend  that  he  had  been 
ordered  by  his  physician  to  wear  a  mask  for 
three  days,  to  benefit  his  ijin  and  yang*  by 
the  suppression  of  hot  humours :  and  it  was 
not  likely  that  his  lovely  victim  would  re- 
ceive this  story  with  suspicion ;  for  in  China 
young  ladies  are  content  to  leave  physical 
mysteries  to  be  investigated  by  their  lords 
and  masters.  He  would,  then,  have  little 
difficulty  in  persuading  her  to  a  union  with 
himself,  for  Chin  would  have  prepared  her 
for,  and  disposed  her  to  this ;  and  it  would 
be  time  enough  for  her  to  discover  her  mis- 
take after  they  were  indissolubly  united. 

This  plan  gave  great  satisfaction  to  Ou- 
Rang-Ou-Tang,  and  Chin  promised  to  take 
upon  himself  the  arrangement  of  all  the  de- 
tails :  so,  turning  his  customer's  head  out  of 

•  Sec  note,  X. 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  201 

hand  more  quickly  than  usual,  he  sallied 
forth  without  loss  of  time,  to  see  some  of  the 
other  persons  whom  he  meant  to  make  actors 
in  his  comedy,  and  to  put  all  matters  in  a 
proper  train. 

So  well  was  Chin  informed  upon  most  peo- 
ple's affairs  that  when  a  statement  such  as 
that  of  Ou-Ranor-Ou-Tano^  was  laid  before 
him,  though  he  listened  to  it  with  attention, 
it  generally  happened  that  he  was  nearly  as 
fully  acquainted  with  the  circumstances  as 
the  narrator  himself.  Thus  it  occurred  in 
the  present  instance ;  and  knowing  his  repu- 
tation for  directing  matters  of  the  kind,  and 
being  aware  that  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang  had  not 
the  keenest  wit  to  guide  him  in  the  conduct 
of  his  concerns,  the  acute  barber  was  not  at 
all  taken  by  surprise  when  an  appeal  was 
made  to  him  for  his  assistance  and  advice. 
Chin,  perhaps,  at  this  very  time,  possessed  a 
clearer  knowledore  of  the  matter  in  all  its 
bearings  than  did  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang;  and 
as  he  had  undertaken  to  play  the  game  him- 
self, he  considered  in  what  order  and  in  what 


202  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

manner  he  should  move  the  several  pieces. 
Upon  due  consideration,  he  first  sought  uncle 
No-Gho;  because,  to  win  his  confidence  and 
countenance  would  afford  him  great  facilities 
for  treating  w4th  the  other  parties. 

Now,  Chin  in  his  time  had  assisted  No- 
Gho  out  of  some  straights  and  difficulties ; 
and  No-Gho  could  not  do  otherwise  than 
treat  him  with  familiarity  and  friendly  re- 
gard; because  such  cases  might  occur  again. 
The  barber,  therefore,  had  no  obstacles,  such 
as  the  difference  of  station  might  occasion, 
to  obtaining  an  interview  with  the  mandarin: 
for  No-Gho — we  have  not  before  mentioned 
the  fact — was  of  no  less  worshipful  degree. 

It  was  pleasant  to  observe,  when  Chin  was 
performing  on  a  customer,  how  cleverly  and 
how  quickly  he  mixed  his  lather — how  plea- 
santly and  how  abundantly  he  soaped  him 
over.  Albeit,  he  was  "  a  fellow  of  exceeding 
honesty,"  he  had  a  keener  knowledge  of  the 
W'Orld  than  for  the  most  part  falls  to  the  lot 
of  your  exceeding  honest  men.  Gifted  with 
rare  shrewdness  and  observation, 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  203 

"  He  knew  all  qualities,  with  a  learned  spirit 
Of  human  dealings — " 

and  in  a  majority  of  cases,  even  upon  a  short 
acquaintance,  understood  the  characters  of 
persons  better  than  they  did  themselves. 
He  knew  when  to  lay  on  his  brown  Windsor, 
when  to  tickle  with  straws,  and  when  to  drop 
a  jest  or  hint  into  the  ear  of  an  attentive  pa- 
tient. If  doing  the  kindness  of  his  oiRce  to  a 
female  sitter,  he  would  apply  the  curling- 
tongs  with  admirable  judgment  to  the  proper 
moment  of  a  question  in  dispute,  and  regu- 
late the  exertion  of  his  wrist  exactly  to  the 
minimum  of  force  requisite  to  induce  her  to 
take  the  required  view  of  any  subject  in  dis- 
cussion. We  are  here,  however,  only  speak- 
ing in  a  general  manner  of  his  ability ;  for  in 
the  case  immediately  under  our  notice,  his 
conversation  with  the  mandarin,  though  he 
acquitted  himself  ably,  it  was  with  no  great 
exercise  of  his  ingenuity  and  tact;  since  No- 
Gho  was  exactly  in  the  state  of  mind  to  fall 
in  with  the  plans  the  wily  barber  had  to  offer 
to  his  consideration. 


204  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

The  mandarin  himself  had  never  in  any 
manner  opposed  the  union  of  Ou-Rang-Ou- 
Tang  with  his  ward  and  niece ;  so  that  Ou- 
Rang-Ou-Tang,  in  enumerating  the  difficul- 
ties in  his  way,  did  not  include  that  frequent 
and   perplexing   one,   an  unkind  guardian. 
Fair   Si-Hoo-Se  was  heiress  to  a  considera- 
ble property,  which  was  at  present,  in  great 
measure,  under  the  management  of  her  uncle 
No-Gho ;  and  he  had  made  terms  with  his 
young  friend  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang,  by  which, 
in  case  of  the  marriage  of  that  proper  per.son 
with  his  niece,  he  should  reserve  to  himself 
a  considerable  slice  out  of  the  patrimony  of 
Si-Hoo-Se.      The   mandarin,  therefore,   far 
from  opposing  it,  was  extremely  desirous  that 
a  marriage  should  take  place  between  his 
niece  and  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang;  but  he  was 
unable  to  overcome  the  repugnance  of  Si-Hoo- 
Se;  and  he  did  not  venture  to  attempt  com- 
pulsion, as  he  knew  that  if  the  case  should  get 
into  the  courts  of  law,  the  young  lady  would 
be  able  to  out-bribe  himself. 
'     Now,  No-Gho  had  a  dausrhter  of  his  own, 


MARRIA.GE  IN  A  MASK.  205 

of  whom  he  was  solicitous  to  dispose  advan- 
tageously; but  Win-Fu  was  ill-favoured,  and 
of  unpleasing  temper;  and  no  one  had  hither- 
to made  overtures  to  take  her  from  her 
father's  house.  The  old  man,  however,  had 
never  for  a  moment  contemplated  uniting  her 
with  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang ;  for,  though  he  had 
reasons  of  his  own  that  attached  him  to  that 
young  estimable,  he  could  not  place  in  him 
such  confidence,  nor  entertain  for  him  such 
respect,  as  would  render  agreeable  to  paren- 
tal feeling  the  idea  of  devoting  to  him  an 
only  daughter :  paternal  affection  for  Win- 
Fu,  was  one  of  the  few  virtues  possessed  by 
the  old  mandarin. 

But  Long-Ku  was  a  person  of  good  family, 
and  of  what  was  more  important  in  the  eyes 
of  No-Gho,  of  good  fortune ;  and  in  addition 
to  these  extraneous  graces,  was  accomplished, 
and  of  such  moral  character  and  polite  man- 
ners as  engaged  the  esteem  and  regard  of  all. 
Him  had  No-Gho  mentally  elected  as  his  fu- 
ture son-in-law ;  and  he  had  encouraged  his 
daughter  to  conceive  a  romantic  affection  for 


206  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

this  young  man ;  which  the  dutiful  Win-Fu 
imagined  that  she  had  in  due  course  done. 

No-Gho  and  Chin  conversed  familiarly  to- 
gether, until)   each  party  enlightening  the 
other,  they  had  both  a  pretty  clear  under- 
standing of  the  present  feelings,  desires,  and 
relative  position  of  the  rest  of  the  dramatis 
personse ;  and  then  Chin  proceeded  to  narrate 
(with  some  reservation)  what  had  passed  be- 
tween himself  and  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang.     He 
solicited  the  ancient  gentleman  to  permit  his 
niece  to  go  forth,  at  a  time  which  he  would 
fix,   to  a  particular   spot  beside  the  river, 
whereto  she  might  be  attracted  by  the  hope 
of  meetino^  Lonof-Ku :  but  he  intimated  that 
she  should  instead  be  accosted  by  Ou-Rang- 
Ou-Tang;    who,   impersonating    Long-Ku, 
would  prevail  upon  her  to  fly  with  him,  that 
they  might  enter  together  upon  the  agreeable 
estate  of  matrimony.     Chin  was   confident 
that  no  scruples  upon  the  lady's  part  would 
be  so  stubborn  as  to  thwart  them  in  the  exe- 
cution of  this  project;  and  No-Gho  rather  in- 
clined to  a  coincidence  with  him  in  opinion. 


MARRIAGE    IN    A    MASK.  207 

Chin  proposed  farther,  when  he  had  adroitly 
sounded  the  old  man  so  as  to  be  sure  that 
the  susfo-estion  would  not  be  disagreeable  to 

So  o 

him,  that  an  appointment  should  be  made 
likewise  for  the  real  Long-Ku;  and  that  he 
should  be  deceived  into  the  hope  of  meeting 
his  beloved  Si-Hoo-Se,  and  carrying  her 
away,  a  willing  bride,  to  his  house.  The 
place  named  for  their  encounter  might  be 
one  different  from  that  to  which  Ou-Rang- 
Ou-Tang  was  to  be  directed,  and  at  which 
Si-Hoo-Se  was  to  be  in  waiting;  but  it  was 
ingeniously  devised  by  Chin  that  Win-Fu, 
in  the  diss^uise  of  her  cousin,  meeting^  the  do- 
voted  expectant  Long-Ku,  and  suffering  her- 
self to  be  carried  off  by  him,  should  become 
his  wife  before  the  mistake  could  be  disco- 
vered. This  plot  presented  some  little  diffi- 
culties, not  the  least  of  which  was  that  which 
would  arise  from  the  necessary  determination 
on  the  lady's  part,  to  retain  her  veil  till  the 
marriage  ceremonies  were  concluded:  against 
such  a  resolve  an  impatient  lover  might  be 
expected  to  raise  a  demurrer;  but  Chin  en- 


208  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

gaged  to  furnish  her  with  excuses  such  as 
must  satisfy  young  Long-Ku;  and  No-Gho 
had  the  fullest  confidence  in  the  inventive 
genius  of  Chin.  The  old  gentleman  pro- 
mised the  barher  fair  opportunities  of  dis- 
posing the  ladies  to  perform  their  due  parts  in 
the  comedy;  and  the  tonsor  did  not  leave 
him  till  he  had  obtained  a  pleasant  bonus  for 
the  exertions  he  was  making  to  arrange  mat- 
ters in  accordance  with  the  wishes  of  the 
mandarin. 

There  is  an  idea  prevalent  in  our  own 
country,  it  is  at  least  very  general  among  the 
young,  that  love  affairs  may  be  more  plea- 
santly, and  even  properly  arranged,  without 
the  intervention  of  third  parties.  Papa,  in- 
deed, just  makes  a  few  soundings  to  be  sure 
that  there  is  no  bar  in  the  river ;  and  then 
away  the  young  brace  boat  it, 

"Youth  at  tlio  bow  and  pleasure  at  tlic  helm," 

and  steer  their  own  course,  and  row  at  their 
own  fanc)^  whilst  no  other  party  "puts  in  an 
oar ;"  mamma,  however,  sitting  at  her  window, 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  209 

with  spectacles  on  nose,  to  see  that  they  do 
not  get  into  any  danger.  But  in  the  Felici- 
tous Laud,  the  juvenile  couple  rarely  at- 
tempt to  manage  the  hoat  themselves  :  they 
find  it  less  troublesome  to  let  some  uncle 
No-Gho  pull  the  oars,  some  Chin,  the  bar- 
ber, steer.  We  have  heard  of  a  Musselman's 
surprize  at  seeing,  in  a  western  country, 
people  of  consideration  toiling  through  a 
dance  :  his  inquiry  whether  they  might  not 
hire  professional  persons  to  perform  it  for 
them,  may  appear  to  us  ridiculous;  but  not 
half  so  much  so  as  our  voluntary  kicking  of 
the  toes  to  him.  The  Chinese  carry  their  pas- 
sive philosophy  yet  farther  than  the  Mussel- 
man,  and  will  not  waste  their  valuable  time  in 
making  love,  which  is  every  where  acknow- 
ledged to  be  but  profitless  employ,  when  it 
can  be  done  so  cheaply  and  so  easily  by  proxy. 
It  was  for  this  reason  that  the  intervention  of 
Chin  excited  little  marvel  and  no  indignation 
among  the  many  individuals  he  had  to  ad- 
dress in  the  due  arrangement  of  the  affairs 

in  question.     All  looked  upon  him  at  once 
18* 


210  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

as  a  professional  agent, — he  had  long  been 
celebrated  as  a  go-between  in  similar  cases, 
— and  all  were   ready  to  accord   him  some 
little  tangible  compliment,  which  he  was  not 
backward  to  require  at  the  hands  of  each. 

Chin  was  next  admitted  to  a  private  inter- 
view w4th  Win-Fu ;  and  though  that  lady 
affected   extreme   unwillingness  to  perform 
the  part  marked  out  for  her  in  these  proceed- 
ings, and  made  great  play  with  her  fan  du- 
ring her  colloquy  with   the   barber,  it  was 
sufficiently  evident  to  his  acute  perceptions, 
that  she  was  ready  almost  to  jump  out  of  her 
skin  with  delight.     She  made  a  handsome 
present  to  the  master  of  the  ceremonies,  for 
the  kind  anxiety  he  exhibited  to  provide  her 
with  an  agreeable  partner ;  and  though  she 
persisted   that  she   would   rather  not  have 
been  implicated   in  the  matrimonial  quad- 
rille, she  declared  her  unwillingness  to  inter- 
fere with  the  formation  of  the  set  from  a  sel- 
fish regard   to  her   own   preferences ;    and 
therefore  left  the  farther  disposition  of  affairs 
in  the  excellent  hands  in  which  she  found 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  211 

them.  Chin  named  the  spot  to  which  she 
should  repair,  disguised  in  the  attire  of  Si- 
Hoo-Se ;  and  having  accomplished  the  drill 
of  Win-Fu,  next  sought  a  conference  with 
her  fairer  cousin. 

Here  Chin  had  a  more  difficult  task  to 
perform,  for  the  scruples  of  Si-Hoo-Se  were 
many  and  sincere,  and  it  needed  all  his 
eloquence  and  ingenuity  in  argument  to 
overcome  them ;  though  it  must  be  confessed 
that  the  prospects  he  held  out  were  in  them- 
selves so  agreeable  to  his  lovely  listener,  that 
she  had  a  greater  disposition  than  she  was 
perhaps  aware  of,  to  construe  his  rhetoric  in 
the  most  favourable  manner.  Suffice  it  to 
say,  however,  that  the  barber  succeeded  in 
the  two  objects  he  had  in  view — persuading 
the  lady,  and  obtaining  a  gratuity. 

It  was  now  the  hour — but,  stop ;  this  min- 
gling of  the  present  now  with  the  past  it  was 
is  the  poetical  form  of  determining  the  time ; 
— never  mind ;  as  we  have  wetted  our 
shoes  in  the  Castalian  waters,  let  us  fairly 
in — head  over  heels — in  all  our  toggery. — 


212  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Ah   me !    how    pleasant   are   the    Delphic 
streams ! 

'Twas  now  t!je  hour  when  tlirough  the  streets 

The  watchman's  noisy  gong  resounds  ; 
And  boatman's  drum  the  sound  repeats, 

Whilst  ceaseless  din  the  air  confounds  : 
Tlie  hour  that  stills  small  children's  cries, 

And  man's  stern  cares  assuages  ; 
When  dogs  arc  folded  in  their  sties. 

And  kittens  in  their  cages. 
'Twas  now  the  hour  when  those  who  sail  in  junks, 

Think  of  sweet  friends  they  leave  as  oft  as  comes  cruise; 
Of  debts  unpaid  to  some  old  greedy  hunks, 

OPscapcd  bamboos,  and  ankle-screws  and  thumb-screws.* 

Amida  Buddha!  'lis  the  hour  of  wooings  I 

Amida  Buddha  I  'lis  the  hour  of  frolics! 
Amida  Buddha !  'tis  the  hour  of  doings 

That  best  becomes  your  pastorals  and  bucolict:. 
It  is  the  hour  of  mirth's  outflow. 

When  dinner's  done  and  girdles  loosed  ; 
When  fishermen  their  nets  forego. 

And  ducks  are  whistled  home  to  roost  ;t 


•  Era  glk  I'ora  che  volge  'i  desio 
A'  naviganti,  c  intencriscc  il  core 
Lo  dl  ch'  han  dctto  a'  dolci  amici  Addio. 

DANTK. 

f  See  note  Y. 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  213 

When  sun- beams  gild  pagodas'  tops, 
And  smokers  crowd  tlio  opium  sliops. 

In  fact,  it  is  that  delightful  hour  of  the 
evening  when  the  sun  hath  just  set,  is  set- 
ting, or  is  about  to  set, — when  the  moon 
hath  just  risen,  is  rising,  or  is  about  to  rise. 

When  stars  are  shining,  or  about  to  shine ; 
Wlicn  owls  are  dining,  or  about  to  dine  ; 
When  wine-cups  are  foaming,  or  about  to  foam  ; 
Wtien  wild  beasts  are  roaming,  or  about  to  roam; 
When  young  hearts  are  bounding,  or  about  to  bound  ; 
When  young  steps  are  sounding,  or  about  to  sound  : 
When  young  forms  are  greeting,  or  about  to  greet ; 
When  young  lips  are  meeting,  or  about  to  meet. 

Who  is  it  that  sits  in  a  romantic  nook  on 
the  banks  of  the  pelucent  Slum,  contempla- 
ting through  the  net-work  of  an  exquisitely 
embroidered  gauze  veil,  the  quiet  beauty  of 
the  scene,  as  the  shadows  of  the  evening  are 
stealing  over  it  ?  Who,  oh  who  but  the  ever 
fair,  the  ever  adorable  Si-Hoo-Se?  But  what 
doth  she  there  at  the  dying-time  of  day, 
alone  among  the  thick  bushes,  attired  in 
hoUday  trim,  such  as  could  not  be  necessary 


214  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

to  the  full  enjoyment  of  any  pleasant  soli- 
tude? 

"  Will  he  come  ?"  she  said ;  "  and  has  not 
the  barber  deceived  me?" — 

She  seized  her  guitar,  and  ran  her  fingers 
over  the  chords ;  and  in  a  voice  of  pathos 
the  most  touching  of  which  she  was  capable, 
sung  the  words  which  follow  :  they  had  been 
composed  some  centuries  before,  in  anticipa- 
tion of  her  individual  case ;  but  heroines 
are  always  prepared  in  this  manner  with 
songs  for  every  emergency. 

O  come,  O  come 

To  the  banks  of  the  Slum, 

Where  the  waters  flow 

So  fair  to  behold, 
And  the  mud,  in  tlie  glow, 

Seems  as  yellow  as  gold  : 
O  come,  O  com.c 
To  tiic  banks  of  tlic  Slum. 

O  come,  O  come 
Where  tlje  murmuring  hum 
Of  the  wave  keeps  tunc, 

To  your  love's  fond  lay?,. 
Beneath  the  oold  moon, 

As  she  warbles  and  plays. 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  215 

O  come,  O  come 
To  llie  slow-flowing  Slum  ; 
And  press  n)y  lips  till  you  make  me  dumb  : 

Oh,  take  me,  my  life,  and  make  me  your  wife  ; 
We  are  born  to  be  kissed,  so  I  sliall  not  resist ; 
And  with  sugar  the  rest  of  our  days  sliali  be  rife. 

The  crickets  around  her  sang  out  in  shrill 
accompaniment ;  the  bats  flitted  and  wheeled 
above  her,  and  mosquitoes  danced  fantasti- 
cally before  her  veil ;  yet  she  paid  little  at- 
tention to  the  crickets,  the  bats,  or  the  mos- 
quitoes.    But    hark ! — there   is   a  tread   of 
feet ;   the  sprays  of  the  light  bamboo  are 
shaken;  a  graceful  figure  presses  through 
them,  and  at  a  moment  when  his  pig-tail  is 
entangled  in  the  boughs,  the  moon  shines 
full  upon  him.     "  It  is  my  own  dear  Long- 
Ku !"  exclaimed  she,  and  her  first  impulse 
was  to  faint  away :  but  several  considerations 
occurred   to  her  immediately,  which  made 
her  doubt  the  policy  and  propriety  of  this; 
and  she  sat  collectedly,  therefore,  to  wait  his 
approach. 

The  youth  is  at  her  side ;  he  is  whispering 
to  her ;  and  never  sounded  voice  in  her  ear 


216  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

SO  sweetly,  so  persuasively.  If  we  were  tell- 
ing you  some  European  love  story,  we  should, 
perhaps,  talk  of  "those  familiar  accents;" 
but,  in  consequence  of  the  particular  restric- 
tions which  interfere  with  the  intercourse  of 
the  young  in  China,  it  may  frequently  hap- 
pen there  that  the  voice  may  have  all  the 
charm  of  novelty,  even  when  an  attachment 
has  been  of  long  standing.  It  necessarily 
results  from  Celestial  system — (we  do  not 
mean  from  the  system  of  the  universe,  but 
from  the  system  to  which  we  have  adverted 
above,  as  existent  in  the  Celestial  Empire, — 
though,  no  doubt,  it  belongs  likewise  to  the 
ordinance  of  the  stars,) — it  necessarily  re- 
sults from  the  Celestial  system  that  in  the 
category  of  love  cases,  love  at  first  sight  is 
that  of  the  most  frequent  occurrence :  for, 
when  we  have  no  time  for  blockade,  or  regu- 
lar siege,  w^hat  course  is  open  but  to 
take  our  towns  by  storm  ?  The  fond 
couple  at  present  under  our  consideration 
had  little  acquaintance  with  each  other ;  and 
though  the  young  lady  had  long  entertained 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  217 

an  ardent  affection  for  Long-Ku,  never  till 
then  had  she  sat  so  near  him ;  she  had  seen 
him  only,  and  that  rarely,  at  some  distance, 
and  she  never  before  had  heard  the  breath 
issue,  in  sweet  modulation,  from  his  lips. 
How  great  then  must  have  been  her  sat- 
isfaction, whatever  appearance  of  coyness 
she  might  assume,  when  his  winged  accents, 
fraught  with  all  the  honey  of  love,  came  with 
their  pleasing  buzz,  to  find  themselves  a  hive 
in  her  ear. 

Alas !  poor  Si-Hoo-Se !  she  does  not,  as 
you  do,  reader,  penetrate  through  the  dis- 
guise of  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang,  and  perceive 
that  he  whom  she  looks  upon  as  her  dearest 
friend,  is,  in  fact,  the  person  she  most  abhors ! 
However,  since  they  converse  as  lovers,  we 
will  not  intrude  upon  an  interview  which  is 
meant  to  be  so  secret.  The  young  pair  did 
not  at  the  moment  suspect  that  any  wit- 
nessed their  meeting ;  but  the  barber  Chin 
was  behind  a  bush  close  by.  It  cannot  be 
right  to  imitate  his  example,  and  listen  to 
vows  and  protestations  we  have  no  business 
19 


218  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

to  hear.  Suffice  that,  though  the  maid  was 
coy,  it  was  agreed  between  them  that  they 
should  wed  that  evening ;  but  it  was  a  point 
for  farther  question,  where,  and  how  they 
should  effect  that  desirable  purpose. 

Clandestine  marriages  do  sometimes  take 
place  in  China ;  but,  as,  from  the  constitution 
of  Chinese  society,  they  are  much  less  fre- 
quent than  with  us,  so  they  are  proportion- 
ably  discountenanced ;  and  a  woman  who 
has  had  the  imprudence  to  resort  to  such  a 
means  of  changing  her  estate  from  singu- 
larity to  duplicity,  is  very  sternly  regarded 
by  the  prudent  of  her  own  sex,  and  the  rigid 
ones  of  ours. 

The  young  lady  was  anxious,  in  order  to 
save  appearances,  that  the  marriage  should 
take  place  at  No-Gho's  house;  the  young 
man  on  the  contrary,  fearful  that  such  a  sud- 
den and  secret  arrangement  might  not  be 
agreeable  to  the  old  mandarin,  and  that  some 
impediment  might  be  thrown  in  the  way  of 
the  fulfillment  of  their  wishes,  was  desirous 
that  it  should  occur  at  his  own.     At  her  ur- 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  219 

gent  instances  however,  and  her  repeated 
assurances  that  it  would  not  be  disagreeable 
to  No-Gho,  he  would  perhaps  have  conceded 
the  point,  had  they  not  been  interrupted 
by  the  sudden  intrusion  of  Chin. 

That  individual  confessed,  without  hesita- 
tion, that  having  effected  for  them  the  pre- 
sent meeting,  he  considered  it  right  to  keep 
an  eye  upon  the  progress  of  events ;  and  that 
he  had,  therefore,  been  a  witness  of  their  con- 
ference. He  strongly  recommended  that 
they  should  make  all  sure  by  a  private  per- 
formance first  of  the  ceremonies  necessary  to 
render  marriage  binding;  especially  as  the 
most  important  of  these,  the  stepping  over  a 
pot  of  charcoal,  would  be  more  properly  ef- 
fected at  the  husband's  door  than  elsewhere. 
It  was  his  advice,  however,  that  they  should 
repair  immediately  afterwards  to  the  uncle's 
house,  and  have  things  ratified  there,  so  as  to 
avoid  scandal.  He  gave  such  ijood  reasons 
for  what  he  recommended,  that  the  lady  con- 
sidered it  safest  to  accede  to  his  proposal ;  so 
returning  to  her  sedan,  which  she  had  left 


220  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

among"  the  trees  at  some  distance,  she  allowed 
Chin  to  be  its  conductor,  and  direct  the 
bearers  to  the  door  of  her  betrothed.  There 
she  was  met  by  the  eager  lover,  who  having, 
previous  to  their  meeting,  considered  as  a 
thing  of  course  that  this  would  be  the  plan 
pursued,  had  invited  some  friends  and  ma- 
trons of  his  acquaintance  to  witness  the 
performance  of  the  customary  ceremonies. 
These,  in.  that  ceremonious  land,  could  not 
be  hurried^  over  in  very  brief  time ;  and  Chin 
did  not  remain  there,  as  he  had  other  pipes 
to  smoke. 

The  barber  made  similar  arrangements 
respecting  the  marriage  of  the  other  young 
people.  He  had  so  timed  them,  and  he  so 
timed  himself,  that  he  had  a  glimpse  at  their 
first  meeting  also.  It  was  not  without  some 
reason  that  Chin  had  gained  the  reputation 
among  his  neighbours  of  possessing  a  faculty 
of  ubiquity.  As  soon  as  he  had  disposed  of 
these,  he  was  at  No-Gho's  house. 

He  congratulated  the  old  mandarin  upon 
the  success  that  had  attended  their  plot;  and 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  INIASK.  221 

prepared  him  to  expect  the  newly-married 
couples  at  his  house  that  evening.  No-Gho 
was  deUghted  with  the  barber's  ingenuity, 
and  deigned  to  pledge  him  in  several  bum- 
pers of  wine;  each  cup  of  which  increased 
his  satisfaction,  and  made  him  more  gracious 
and  condescending.  Preparations  were  made 
for  a  merry  evening,  and  musicians  and  dra- 
matic performers  were  called  in;  and  even 
before  the  arrival  of  the  persons  who  were 
looked  for  with  so  much  glee,  some  little  re- 
hearsal of  festivities  began.  Perceiving  the 
gratifying  effect  which  wine  had  upon  the 
social  feelings  of  the  old  gentleman,  Chin 
was  determined  that  these  should  not  be 
without  their  stimulus ;  and  No-Gho  was  in 
a  condition  of  much  pleasantry  when,  amid 
the  hum  of  curiosity  and  gratulation  from  the 
assembled  guests,  the  first  of  the  newly-mar- 
ried couples,  the  two  whose  meeting  we  wit- 
nessed by  the  banks  of  the  slow-creeping 
Slum,  came  bowing,  and  were  bowed  into 
the  chamber. 

It  was  natural  that  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang,  as 
19* 


222  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

he  still  retained  his  mask  and  impersonated 
his  rival,  should  manifest  a  disposition  to 
keep  in  the  dimest  corners  of  the  room ;  and 
that  the  greeting,  which  politeness  made  it 
incumbent  upon  him  to  offer  to  his  host, 
should  be  performed  as  hurriedly  as  possible. 
It  is  true,  it  would  be  of  no  great  consequence 
if  his  disguise  were  detected  now ;  yet  he  was 
not  disposed  to  reveal  himself  at  once;  he 
wished  rather  to  wait  some  fitting  moment, 
and  then,  with  triumphant  audacity,  declare 
the  course  he  had  pursued.  But  whatever 
anxiety  he  felt  was  quite  without  occasion; 
for  No-Gho  was  so  far  gone  in  the  ways  of 
felicity,  that,  presently  after,  he  was  conveyed 
to  bed,  in  a  state  of  perfect  abstraction  from 
all  the  cares  of  life. 

Now  the  bagpipers  grew  busy,  and  the 
lutists  twanged  the  strings  with  their  long 
nails,  and  the  flutists  piped  away  till  their 
pigtails  stood  on  end, — bladders  croning, 
parchment  groaning,  oat-gut  squeaking, 
metal  moaning !  and  all  was  proceeding  in 
the  merriest  manner.  Chin  acting  as  the  mas- 


MARRIAGE    IN    A    MASK.  223 

ter  of  the  ceremonies,  when  a  stir  was  heard 
outside  the  chamber,  a  rustle  of  pigtails  and 
a  klop-klop  of  ladies'  feet.  The  doors  were 
opened,  and  attended  by  a  considerable  num- 
ber of  friends  of  both  sexes,  the  second  feli- 
citous couple  of  the  evening  attracted  gene- 
ral observation  as  they  were  ushered  into  the 
apartment. 

"Hey-kok-ko-loh-rum/'  cried  one  of  the 
guests,  who  had  been  pledging  the  mandarin 
freely  in  wine  and  sam-shoo, — "  What  have 
we  here?  Another  bridegroom,  yet  the  same, 
as  sure  as  pigs  wear  pigtails !  if  not,  I  have  a 
gift  of  seeing  double."  It  is  not  unlikely 
that  the  wedding  guest  may  at  the  moment 
have  possessed  that  faculty;  but  he  was  not 
indebted  thereto  for  the  twin  images  of  Long- 
Ku  that  then  fell  upon  his  retina. 

The  lovely  bride  of  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang, 
whose  attention  had  been  for  some  moments 
diverted  from  what  was  going  forward  in  the 
apartment,  by  a  whispered  conversation  with 
her  lord,  directed  her  eyes,  as  she  heard  the 
exclamation  of  the  wedding  guest,  towards 


224  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

the  real  Long-Ku;  and  uttering  a  shriek,  as 
she  perceived  the  manner  in  which  she  had 
been  dnped,  she  tottered  into  the  arms  of  her 
attendants.  Upon  this  occasion  she  fainted 
outright,  her  cheek  assuming  a  sable  hue,  as 
is  the  custom  in  her  country  in  such  cases; 
and  though  they  cut  instantly  the  laces  of 
her  shoes,  and  smoked  a  tobacco-pipe  beneath 
her  nose,  it  was  long  ere  they  could  succeed 
in  restoring  animation. 

Her  husband  chuckled  with  delight,  and 
with  a  feeling  of  triumph ;  and  when  she  had 
partly  recovered,  he  approached,  and  taking 
her  hand,  '' My  dearest  Si-Hoo-Se,"  he  said, 
"my  ever  beloved  wife, — you  have  made 
some  little  mistake,  as  sure  as  Fo's  in  Fo- 
kien.  You  reckoned  on  a  prize,  but  you 
have  obtained  a  richer  one  than  you  expected. 
It  is  of  no  use  any  longer  to  keep  up  this  dis- 
guise. And  if  ever  ill-luck  should  so  ar- 
range it  that  you  should  become  a  widow, 
iet  me  recommend  you  never,  in  future,  to 
take  a  husband  in  a  mask.  This  face,  as  you 
were  aware,  is  not  my  face;  this  pig-tail,  as 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  225 

you  are  now  aware,  is  not  my  pig-tail ;  this 
dress  is  not  my  dress.  You  took  me  for 
Long-Ku ;  it  was  a  slight  mistake ;  but  make 
yourself  happy,  and  congratulate  yourself 
that  you  have  caught  no  worse  than  Ou- 
Rano^-Ou-Tano:."  As  he  said  this  he  re- 
moved  his  mask. 

"My dear  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang,"  responded 
the  lady,  in  a  tone  of  subdued  malice,  "  my 
ever  beloved  husband,  you  have  made  some 
little  mistake,  as  sure  as  there's  folk  in  Fo- 
kien.  You  reckoned  on  a  prize,  but  you 
have  obtained  a  richer  one  than  you  expected. 
It  is  of  no  use  any  longer  to  keep  up  this  dis- 
guise; and  if  ever,  which  Fo  forefend,  you 
should  become  a  widower,  let  me  recom- 
mend you  never  in  future  to  take  a  wife  be- 
neath a  veil.  This  veil,  you  must  know,  is 
not  my  veil ;  these  boots  are  not  my  boots ; 
these  trousers  are  not  my  trousers.  You 
took  me  for  Si-Hoo-Se;  it  was  a  slight  mis- 
take ;  but  make  yourself  happy,  and  congra- 
tulate yourself  that  you  have  caught  no 
worse  than  Win-Fu." 


226  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

As  she  spoke  the  last  word,  she  lifted  her 
veil,  and  exhibited  to  her  dismayed  husband 
a  physiognomy  the  most  uninviting. 

Scarce  a  pig-tail  in  the  room  but  was  con- 
vulsed with  lau2fhter.  The  drummer  beat 
in  the  head  of  his  drum  with  delight;  the 
fifer  blew  his  fife  into  a  thousand  splinters ; 
Chin  ground  his  teeth  to  powder  with  a  grin; 
the  attendant  ladies  stamped  off  the  heels  of 
their  little  boots  in  their  merry  satisfaction ; 
Long-Ku  laughed  till  he  had  broken  all  his 
laces ;  and  Si-Hoo-Se,  who,  by  the  suggestion 
of  Chin,  (for  Chin  Avas  unwilling  that  Ou- 
Rang-Ou-Tang  should  prematurely  discover 
his  mistake,)  had  assumed  the  dress  of  Win- 
Fu,  now  threw  aside  her  veil,  and  exhibiting 
laughter  in  its  loveliest  phase,  supported  her- 
self by  clinging  to  her  husband's  pig-tail, 
lest  she  should  fall  to  the  ground  with  ca- 
chinnation.  This  subitaneous  overflow  of 
mirthfulness  was  occasioned  chiefly  by  the 
mingled  expression  of  mortification,  rage, 
and  astonishment,  in  the  countenance  of  Ou- 
Rang-Ou-Tang.  Nobody  esteemed,  admired, 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK.  227 

or  regarded  either  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang  or 
Win-Fu ;  and  it  was  a  source  of  the  keenest 
Stratification  to  those  who  stood  around  them, 
to  see  how  both,  scheming  to  outwit  others, 
had  thus  outwitted  themselves.  Chin  had 
provided  against  any  interruption  to  the 
general  satisfaction,  by  being  careful  that 
hone  of  the  few  familiar  friends  of  Ou-Rang- 
Ou-Tang  or  Win-fu  should  be  among  the  per- 
sons invited  to  the  wedding. 

Old  No-Gho,  we  have  seen,  had  lost  all 
opportunity  of  participating  in  the  joke  at 
the  time;  and  he  was  exceedingly  vexed 
when  he  heard  the  state  of  the  case,  on  the 
following  morning.  Chin  assured  him,  how- 
ever, that  there  had  merely  been  a  misun- 
derstanding; that  the  affair  was  unlucky, 
but  could  not  be  helped ;  that  the  black  dra- 
gon of  the  neighbouring  river,  must  have 
had  a  chop-stick  in  the  pudding ;  that  there 
was  no  mending  matters  now;  and  that  the 
way  to  grow  fat,  (a  great  desideratum  with 
a  China-man,  and  particularly  with  a  man- 
darin,) was  to  laugh  abundantly,  and  drown 


228  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

dull  care.  His  eloquence  somewhat  soothed 
if  it  did  not  satisfy  the  ancient  gentleman ; 
but  he  had  more  trouble  to  subdue  the  tem- 
pest of  Ou-Rang-Ou-Tang's  indignation. — 
That  young  person  could  hardly  be  brought 
to  believe  that  by  mere  accident  the  barber 
had  directed  him  to  the  wrong  spot  to  meet 
his  beloved :  but  though  his  wrath  was  great- 
ly aroused,  Chin  succeeded  in  obtaining  from 
him  a  present  of  live  more  taels  for  conceal- 
ing those  parts  of  the  story  that  were  known 
only  to  themselves.  To  his  engagement  on 
this  subject,  Chin  always  most  conscien- 
tiously and  scrupulously  adhered :  never  im- 
parting to  man,  woman,  or  child,  though  of- 
ten importuned  to  do  so,  one  syllable  upon 
the  question; — excepting  upon  promises  of 
the  strictest  secrecy,  and  the  receipt  of  a  pro- 
portionable fee. 

From  that  time  forth  Chin  enjoyed  an  ho- 
nourable situation  in  the  family  of  Long-Ku; 
and  it  may  be  not  uninteresting  to  the  ladies 
to  be  informed  that  in  due  time  he  shaved 
the  heads  of  four-and-twenty  little  Long-Kus. 


THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 


THE  STUDENT  OF  HANLAN 
A  TALE  OF  OPIUM-SMOKING.* 


Wee-Ping-Wa-Ling-Tuh-Ye  Kum 
Iloobe-PiPing  IIo-Pi.Hum.t  IIoo.Kah. 

Oh,  the  gentle  Fum-Fum  was  a  worshipful  youth, 
A  student  of  talent,  of  trust,  and  of  truth ! 

*  Pi-Pi.VG,  an  eWincnt  modern  poet  of  Cliina,  wrote  a  scries  of 
poems  with  the  excellent  design  of  warning  his  countrymen 
against  tlie  vices  which  most  prevailed  amongtit  them.  From 
those  wc  have  selected  the  one  devoted  to  tiie  subject  of  0[)ium. 
Smoking;  bat  we  have  found  it  impossible  to  preserve,  in  an 
English  version,  the  epic  gravity  and  higli  moral  dignity  of  tone 
that  characterize  the  serious  poetry  of  the  Chinese.  It  may  give 
additional  interest  to  the  subject  to  mention,  that  the  author  died 
but  a  few  years  since,  of  the  pernicious  habit  he  deprecates; 
having  sougiit  in!<piralion  from  the  pipe  whilst  engaged  in  the 
composition  of  this  poem. 

+  These  lines  contain  a  beautiful  moral  reflection  and  warning, 
applicable  to  this  story;  but  arc  printed  in  tiie  original  language, 
from  having  baffled  every  attempt  at  translation. 

'20 


230  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Of  excellent  parentage, 

Wit  with  an  arrant  edge, 

Eloquence  burning, 

And  subtle  discerning; 
Gf  manners  most  excellent. 

Formed  to  enchant; 
And  when  to  the  sex  he  leant, 

Gay  and  gallant. 
As  fat  as  a  pig, 

And  as  sleek  as  a  Cadi; 
As  fresh  as  a  fig, 

And  as  fair  as  a  lady. 
In  learning  he  beat  all  competitors  hollow ; 

And,  in  short, 

Was  a  sort 
Of  a  pig-tailed  Appollo. 

He  could  tell  you  by  heart 

Any  part 
Of  the  works  of  the  sages 
Who  shined  in  past  ages, 
Meng-tze,  Laou-tze,  and  Confucius  ; 
And  of  all  whom  the  Muse 
Of  the  Central  Land 
Imbues 
With  her  dews, 

Up  to  this  very  day — 
A  great  many  they, 
But  I  only  can  name  one  or  two  she  has. 


THE  STUDENT  OF  HANLA.N.  231 

There's  exquisite  Nin-Kum, 
Whose  pen  makes  the  tin  come, 
And  Hum-Drum  the  poet,  who  has  no  great  in- 
come 
(For  income  and  ink-  'em 
Although  we  may  clink  'em, 
Are  not   such  first   cousins   as  perhaps  you  may 

think  'em.) 
There's  Ly  the  historian,  and  Bo  the  philosopher ; 
Si  lost  his  mistress,  and  weeps  for  the  loss  of  her ; 
Flum,  Skum,  and  Hum — but  all  these  we  will  pass 

over, 
Some  are  yet  living,  and  some  grows  green  grass 
over. 
There's  Fang  the  great  critic. 
With  pen  analytic, 
And  Sting,  an  ingenious  satirical  writer; 
Slo,  Lo,  and  Co,  the  political  journalists; 
Yawn,  known  because  of  his 
Moral  philosophies. 
Sensible  works  which  he's  welcome  to  learn  who 

lists; 
And  Fun,  Pun,  and  Grin,  whose  effusions  are  lighter. 
There  are  authors  besides  of  wit,  learning  and  pas- 
sion; 
But,  above  all  that  ever  yet  wrote  or  sang. 
The  writer  just  now  at  the  top  of  the  fashion, 
Is  elegant,  moral,  and  eloquent  Slang. 

But  here  we  digress,  and  mishaps  may  enmesh  us, 
Whilst  wasting  our  moments  so  few  and  so  precious. 


232  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

At  all  times  it's  right  to  "  take  Time  by  the  queue," 
So  let  us  return  to  Fum-Fum,  and  pursue. 

With  so  much  learning,  taste,  and  knowledge, 
You  easily  may  suppose 
To  what  distinguished  rank  he  rose 
Among  the  youth  at  college. 

Hanlan  College,  Peking,* 

Is  that  of  which  we're  speaking : 

Nor  was  there  another  student 

In  all  the  imperial  city 
So  proper  at  once  and  prudent, 
So  clever,  and  wise,  and  witty. 
Nay,  only  one  besides  was  there, 
Who  might  with  him  in  the  least  comp^re-^ 
A  reader  was  he  for  a  doctor's  degree, 
A  foe  to  Fum-Fum,  and  his  name  Fee-Fee. 

Fee-Fee  and  Fum-Fum  were  inveterate  foes. 
Not  only  because  they  were  bent  to  oppose 
Each  other  in  contests  for  classical  prizes — 
And  that  fair  renown  that  from  learning  arises; 
But  also  because,  as  they  both  of  them  saw. 
So  they  both  fell  in  love  with  the  lovely  Faw-Faw. 

Oh,  the  lovely  Faw-Faw  was  the  loveliest  maid 

In  all  the  Celestial  Land ; 
With  her  brows  lovely  bend,  and  her  queue's  lovely 
braid, 

And  those  sweet  little  claws  on  her  hand ! 

*  Sec  Note  Z. 


^a^^^/(r^ar'_xl?f-^   ^€^f^  f/^n(/e^l .  r.zss. 


^ 


^A/??/<tyhY/7  j///&/['i//(////.)  .//■//  /f/// 


/r//    /(//{  .  pgeo. 


THE  STUDENT  OF  HANLA.N.  233 

With  her  little  coatee,  so  delightful  to  see. 

And  her  trousers  so  artfully  planned ; 
Eyes  like  cockatoo's,  and  such  dear  little  shoes, 

In  which  not  a  fairy  might  stand  ! 
O  happy  the  youth  (for  him  fortune  in  truth. 

Hath  a  white  page  without  any  blot,) 
To  whom  it  occurs  that  his  pig-tail  with  hers 

Shall  be  tied  in  a  true  lover's  knot. 

Fum-Fum   and   Fee-Fee — Oh,  how  each  of  them 

sighed. 
And  wished  for  the  lovely  Faw-Faw  as  his  bride ! 
Into  loneliest  corners  all  moodily  drew, 
And  neglected  his  studies,  his  dress,  and  his  queue. 
Yet  of  slovenly  manners,  O  lovers,  beware  ! 
If  ye  seek  in  your  nets  to  entangle  the  fair, 
The  whole  of  your  art  in  your  dress  ye  should  use. 
And  take  the  best  care  of  your  P's  and  your  Queue's. 
But  Fum-Fum  and  Fee-Fee,  how  could  they  but 

discover 
The  passion  of  their  hearts  to  the  worth  v  old  Fo- 

Fo, 
The  father  of  Faw-Faw,  who  was  seeking  for  a 

lover. 
To  give  his  girl  away  to,  since  off  she  must  go  / 
For  'tis  not  the  practice,  within  the  Central  Land, 
To  keep  such  household  chattels  as  daughters  dear, 

on  hand. 
But  to  sell  them  at  a  discount,  because  it's  very  clear, 
That  they  eat  their  heads  in  provender  when  food  is 

all  so  dear. 

20* 


234  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

And  therefore,  old  Fo-Fo,  he  would  not  say  "  No,  no," 
To  the  offers  of  Fum-Fum,  or  the  proffers  of  Fee- 
Fee; 
But  he  asked  a  little  while  just  to  see  how  things 
might  go. 
Before  he  should  determine  whose  the  lady  was 
to  be. 
And  he  promised  that  that  one  should  be  in  law  his 
son. 
Who  should  reap  the  largest  honours  in  learning's 
ample  field ; 
Who  should  pluck  the  golden  crown  from  the  fore- 
head of  renown ; 
To  him,  and  to  him  only,  his  daughter  he  would 
yield. 

And  so  Fum-Fum  and  so  Fee-Fee, 

They  hated  each  other  as  much  as  could  be : 

They  hated  each  other  as  much  as  could  be, 

And  either  would  see,  with  exceeding  much  glee, 

His  hated  corival  brought  down  on  his  knee, 

To  do  some  great  penance,  to  bear  some  great  shame, 

That  should  lose  him  all  hope  of  the  beautiful  dame. 

Now  we  know  not  whether  you  may  know,  but  there 
is  a  certain  festival, 
That  is  held  once  in  three  years,  at  the  college  of 
Hanlan : 
Examinations  then  take  place,  whereby  to  choose 
the  best  of  all. 
Among  the  young  collegians  who  do  the  best  they 
can. 


THE  STUDENT  OF    HANLAN.  235 

Excitement  'mong  all  parties  then  rises  to  a  high  zest, 
Then  Messrs.  the  professors,  each  strives  to  look  the 

wisest ; 
Then  parents  come,  and  all  is  hum  and  bustle  in  the 

capital, 
And  boobies  gaze  as  lanterns  blaze,  and  flags  and 

pennons  flap  it  all. 

The  Emperor,  that  temperer  of  the  mortar  of  society, 
Whose  edicts  serve  so  well  to  keep  the  frame  of 
things  together. 
Who  trowels  up  the  state  with  such  prudence  and 
propriety. 
And  watches  it,  and  botches  it  in  times  of  evil 
weather ; 
Sits  on  his  throne  of  state,  with  his  councillors  about 

him. 
Who  never  must  presume  at  all  to  contradict  or 

doubt  him ; 
Who  seek  to  please  him  first,  before  or  gods  or  little 

fishes. 
And  never  recommend  a  thing  but  what  they  know 
he  wishes. 
The  Emperor  he  sits 

Upon  his  throne  of  state, 
To  mark  the  exercise  of  wits 

In  thesis  or  debate ; 
And  every  young  collegian 
Of  all  the  Central  Region, 
Receives  the  royal  command  to 
Do  the  best  he  can  do. 


236  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

And  this  triennial  festival  was  drawing  near  at  hand, 
And  many  young   competitors   to  gain  its  prizes 

planned, 
Whose  hearts  were  beating  high  with  hope  or  sink- 
ing with  misdoubtings, 
As  often  as  they  thought  upon  the  innings  and  the 

outings. 
Fum-Fum,  among  them  all  was  the  sharpest  and 

the  learnedest, 
(As  far  as,  ere  the  trial,  any  body  could  discern,  id 

est,) 
But  being  a  tea-totaller,  he  suflered  in  his  nerves  so 

much, 
He  scarce  could  hope  to  gain  a  prize,  although  he 

might  deserve  so  much ; 
For  trepidations   Irequently   will  set   the  brain  a 

turning, 
And  self-possession  often  wins  what  should  be  won 

by  learning. 
And  next  to  him,  Fee-Fee 
Was  the  likeliest  man  to  be 
At  the   top  of  all  the   tree,  the  glorious  tree  of 

learning; 
He  knew  the  different  pages 
Of  the  books  of  ancient  sages, 
Who  illumined  former  ages  with  the  ravs  of  their 

discerning ; 
And  as  with  modest  timorousness  he  was  not  au2;ht 

afflicted. 
That  he  should  bear  the  prizes  ofl'  by  many  was 

predicted. 


THE  STUDENT  OF  HANLAN.  237 

Therefore  Fum-Fum  was  despondent  excessively, 
And  felt  the  thing  weigh  on  his  feelings  oppressively; 
His  brow  was  all  day  puckered  up  in  a  frown, 
And  ever  his  p?^tail  hung  sheepishly  down. 

This  was  foolish  we  own, 

And  he  ought  to  have  shown 
A  greater  amount  of  self-confident  ease  ; 

He  ought  to — but  lauk  !  • 

It's  so  easy  to  talk, 

Whilst,  to  tell  you  the  fact, 

It's  much  harder  to  act ; 
And  funk  is,  we  fancy,  a  sort  of  disease ; 

Good  wine,  to  be  sure, 

Is  its  very  best  cure  ; 

But  tea  we  should  think 

The  worst  thing  you  could  drink : 
And  the  fact  may  be  proved  by  plain  argumenta- 
tions; 
Because  the  Chinese  are  the  funkiest  of  nations. 

The  day  was  drawing  nearer  when  Fum-Fum 
ought  to  win 

A  most  abundant  harvest  of  both  renown  and  tin ; 

Of  both  renown  and  tin,  for  we'd  have  you  under- 
stand, 

Those  are  not  incompatible  in  that  Celestial  Land. 

But  still  he  grew  more  nervous, 
(So  Fortune  loves  to  serve  us,) 


238  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

And  felt  his  fears  would  nail  him, 

In  spite  of  all  his  heed  of  it ; 
And  that  his  heart  would  fail  him, 
Just  when  he  had  most  need  of  it — 
Unless  he  could  discover  some  artificial  means 
Of  keeping  up  his  courage,  when  he  came  before 
the  skreens. 
• 
Now,  we  cannot  tell  how  the  case  might  be, 
When  you  were  reading  for  your  degree, 
But  we  know  how  numbers  seek 
To  nerve  both  mind  and  body; 
Depending — for  Latin  and  Greek — 
Upon  cold-without  and  toddy; 
Those  are  capital  things  to  fill  the  skin, 
And  cold-without  makes  warm  within. 

"  White  spirits  and  black, 

Red  spirits  and  gray, 
Mingle,  mingle,  mingle, 
You  that  mingle  may." 
Though  some  people  think  that  without  any  ming- 
ling, 
Pure  spirit  produces  a  pleasanter  tingling. 
The  spirit  of  rice,  which  is  called  "  Sam-shoo," 
Was  the  only  spirit  that  Fum-Fum  knew : 
It's  a  sort  of  a  gray  spirit,  sparkling  and  frisky. 
And  bears  a  resemblance  to  Irish  whisky. 
But  Fum-Fum  disliked  it  extremely, 
And  held  it  not  proper  or  seemly 
To  sharpen  his  wit's  very  clever  edge 
By  any  such  species  of  beverage. 


THE  STUDENT  OF  HANLAN.  239 

Oh,  Fum-Fum,  beware !  for  the  case  will  be  more 

dire, 
If,  when  you  shun  the  frying-pan,  you  fall  into  the 

fire. 

The  night  was  dark  and  dreadful — 

Of  horrors  it  had  fed  full ; 

The  rain  came  down  a  deluge. 

The  rattling  hail-stones  fell  huge ; 

And  the  lightning  flames  were  glancing. 

Like  fiery  demons  dancing; 

And  the  thunder  peals  were  rolling, 

As  the  knell  of  earth  were  tolling ; 

And  all  the  broad  black  river 

Was  in  such  fume  and  fever. 

As  though  the  great  black  dragon,  he 

Were  writhing  in  an  agony. 

And  Peking's  lords  and  spouses 

Were  mostly  in  their  houses ; 
For  few,  you  may  imagine  it,  without  compulsory 

reason, 
Would  wish  to  be  abroad  in  such  a  hideous  season. 

But  Fum-Fum  all  day  had  been  studying  Slang, 

And  feeling  oppressed. 

And  wanting  som.e  rest. 
He  put  by  his  books  in  the  afternoon — 
He  put  by  his  books  with  a  bit  of  a  pang, 

And  forth  he  must  fare, 

For  a  gulp  of  fresh  air. 
But  intending  of  course  to  be  back  again  soon — 


240  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

To  be  back  again  soon, 

After  tasting  the  boon, 

Which  hard-reading  students, 

A  class  of  imprudents, 
So  seldom  enjoy,  having  no  time  to  spare. 

Of  bodily  needments 

To  take  the  due  heedments. 
And  feeling  the  carcass  no  part  of  their  care. 

He  was  hastening  back  when  the  storm 

Began  in  an  ominous  form, 
With  a  distant  growl,  and  a  few  big  drops, 
Such  as  make  all  the  passengers  run  into  shops, 
And  promote  the  sale  of  umbrellas  and  pattens, 
To  save  their  silks,  th6ir  fcrapes,  and  satins. 
We  like  to  observe  when  storms  begin, 

How  the  folks  run  helter-skelter. 

In  search  of  the  nearest  shelter ; 

And  sometimes  make  a  blunder 

In  the  roofs  they  are  entering  under. 
Rain-water  (whose  reasons  of  course  must  be  fal- 
lacies) 
Hath  decoyed  your  tea-totaller  into  gin-palaces; 
When,  nevertheless,  you  must  know  very  well  he 

meant 
But  to  seek  some  relief  from  too  much  of  the  ele- 
ment. 
Made  haughty  lords  stand  among  groups  of  low 

sots, 
And  proud  ladies  visit  the  poor  in  their  cots: 


THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER.  241 

And  induced  your  grave  magistraleinto  mine  uncle's, 
Without  any  purpose  to  pawn  his  carbuncles, 
Though  your  worshipful  friend,  whom  so  much  thou 

reverest. 
Hath  a  set  of  nose  jewels  the  rarest  and  queerest. 
It   hath  brought   your  good    pastor  to   pray  in  a 

chapel,  he 
Else  would  have  looked  on  extremely  unhappily ; 
And  as  all  will  be  swift  to  get  out  of  the  lurch. 
Hath  drawn  your  fell  schismatics  into  the  church. 
But,  as  touching  Fum-Fum, — on  his  way  to  his  home 
He  was  caught  in  the  storm,  and  he  wished  to  get 
out  of  it, 
Because  he  could  tell  from  the  darkness  full  well, 
That  it  would  not  pass  over  without  a  fair  bout 
of  it: 
And  Fum-Fum  was  frightened 
Whenever  it  lightened  ; 
And  didn't  like  thunder,  or  hail-stones,  or  water- 
spouts : 
He  wasn't  a  buck 
Of  such  nerve  and  such  pluck, 
As  should  make  him  defy 
The  wrath  of  the  sky. 
Or  go  where  waves  roar  and   the  red  stream  of 
slaughter  spouts. 
It  can't  be  expected 
That  persons  connected 
With  quiet  pursuits,  such  as  science  and  learning. 
Should  take  much  delight 
21 


242  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

In  the  fury  and  fright, 
Where  elements  clash,  or  the  battle  is  burning. 

Therefore  Fum-Fum  looked  round  to  find 
A  house,  to  escape  from  thei  rain  and  wind ; 

And  what  should  he  see, 

Close  under  his  lee, 
But  a  bamboo  skreen  hanging  down  before 
The  neighbouring  door^ 
Which  seemed  contrived  to  balk  the  wet. 
Which  came  down  thicker  and   heavier  yet ; 
So,  lifting  it  up,  in  his  fear  to  be  sopped, 
Speedily  into  the  house  he  popped. 

Alas !  that  Fum-Fum  did  not  know 

That  the  bamboo-screen  before  the  door, 
Him  thus  provoking  to  shun  a  good  soaking, 
Oh,  sign  of  wo !  was  meant  to  show 
That  there  dwelt  a  similar  spirit  to  Fo,* 
The  spirit  of  opium-smoking. — 
The  spirit  of  abstraction, 
The  spirit  of  inaction, 
The  spirit  of  delusion, 
The  spirit  of  confusion^ 
The  spirit  of  inanity. 
The  spirit  of  insanity, 
Of  life  without  reality^ 
Of  living  dead  vitality. 

•  Sec  note,  .A 


THE   STUDENT    OF  ILVNLAN.  243 

When  he  found  himself  in  an  opium  shop, 

He  didn't,  of  course,  much  like  to  stop ; 

But  then  again,  it  was  equally  true. 

That  he  didn't  much  like  to  get  wet  through  ; 

Moreover,  he  didn't  much  like  to  stay 

Without    having   something    for   which  he    might 

pay; 
So  he  gave  his  mouth  a  back-hand  wipe, 
"  Well,  once  in  my  life,  I'll  try  a  pipe ; 

By  Fortune  thus  sent  here, 

I  think  I  may  venture ; 
For,  as  to  my  e'er  being  brought  to  smoke  opium. 

Though  many  would  do  it, 

And  afterwards  rue  it, 
I  *ni  rather  too  wise  for  it — faith,  I  should  hope 
I  am." 

So  he  threw  off  his  hat. 

And  down  he  sat. 

With  a  hand  on  his  hip, 

On  a  bamboo  mat ; 
Put  a  pipe  in  his  lip. 
And  began  to  flip. 
The  flies  away  with  his  pigtails*  tip. 

He  stared  round  the  room, 

Through  the  thick  curling  fume, 
To    know    all    about   both    his    where   and    with 
whom  ; 

And  he  saw  some  strange  faces, 

With  hideous  grimaces  ; 

Some  moeing  and  mopping, 

And  some  with  jaws  dropping ; 


244  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Some  looking  most  wise, 
With  their  green  sunken  eyes  ; 
Some  fretful,  some  foolish. 
Some  ghastly  and  ghoulish : 
Some  half-naked  skeletons,  livid  and  green. 
Whose  stagnated  blood  left  no  life  in  their  mien ; 
With  lips   drawn   awry,   and  gums    sunken    and 

blue. 
And  their  teeth,  black  and  yellow,  thrust  forth  in 

full  view; 
And  with  minds  in  the  last  rags  of  idiotcy  cloaked, 
These  their  horrible  appetites  feebly  provoked 
With    the   dregs   of  the   poison   that    others   had 
smoked. 

When  thou  would'st,  O  death,  carouse. 
Bind  the  poppy  round  thy  brows ; 
Bind  it  round  with  bony  glee  ; 
'Tis  the  fittest  wreath  for  thee ! 
Toadstools,  and  nightshades,  and  darnels, 
Mould-mosses  fatted  in  charnels. 
Hemlocks,  and  henbanes,  and  aconites, 
Witch-gathered  deep  in  the  black  o'  nights. 
Though  they  be  poisons  of  dignity. 
Match  not  the  poppy's  malignity. 

Though  death  be  a  Proteus  of  horrible  shapes. 
His  worst  forms  beside  be  but  second-rate  copies. 

Of  those  wherein  under  his  gray  bones  he  drapes 
When  he  'noints 
His  old  joints 

With  the  unguents  of  poppies. 


THE  STUDENT  OF  HANLAN.  245 

'Tvvas  a  fearful  sight  and  well  might  yield 

A  warning  to  the  student ; 
And  here  morality  opens  a  field ; 

But  we  shall  not  intrude  in  't. 
If  we  show  you  where  her  grounds  begin, 
And  give  you  leave  to  sport  therein, 
You  will  think  that  quite  enough,  no  doubt, 
And  not  ask  us  to  measure  them  out. 

But,  strange  to  say,  the  sight  he  saw. 

Though  it  filled  him  quite  with  horror  and  awe, 

Had  not  the  effect, 

We  so  well  might  expect, 
Of  making  him  loosen  the  pipe  from  his  jaw; 

But  he  smoked  away 

At  his  yard  of  clay, 
Or  his  piece  of  bamboo,  we  rather  should  say, 

As  though  it  were  pleasant 

To  him  to  be  present 
At  a  scene  such  as  that  we  have  just  been  de- 
picting, 
Where  still  with  worse  horrors  were  horrors  con- 
flicting. 

When  Fum-Fum  had  finished  he  found, 
His  brains  spin  pleasantly  round, 
And  he  seemed  to  be  floating  through  oceans 
Of  pleasamest  fancies  and  notions. 
He  rose,  and  walked  off'  in  delightful  excitement, 
And  thought   he  before  never   knew  what  dcliglit 
meant; 
21* 


246  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Like  wheels  running  down  a  gentle  declivity, 
His  memory  was  in  such  a  state  of  activity, 
That  the  works  of  great  Slang  he  remembered  each 

word  of. 
And  knew  books  by  heart  he  had  not  even  heard  of. 
And  his  nerves,  too,  got  into  such  excellent  trim, 
That  he  felt  he  had  courage  to  look  very  grim. 
If  the  Emperor's  self  should  look  crossly  at  him. 

On  the  following  morning,  however. 

He  felt  himself  funkier  than  ever  ; 
The  simplest  lessons  he  couldn't  say  through, 
And  he  got  three  cuts  from  his  master's  queue. 

This  made  him  despond 
*'  Beyond  beyond," 
And  inclined  him  almost  to  jump  into  the  pond : 
But   he  afterwards   thought  he   might   find  some 

relief 
In  an  opium  pipe,  from  his  dulness  and  grief; 
And  what  could  it  hurt,  if  he  smoked  but  a  wee, 
Just  to  keep  up  his  pluck,  till  he  passed   his  de- 
gree ? 

'Twas  the  sensible  part. 
If  only  because 

It  might  gain  such  a  heart 
As  the  lovely  Faw-Faw's. 

More  rational  still, 

Because  it  should  kill 

Every  hope  that  might  be 

In  the  foolish  Fee-Fee. 
So  Fum-Fum  smoked  his  pipe  with  particular  glee. 


THE    STUDENT  OF  HANLAN.  247 

At  last  came  the  day  so  desired  and  feared  ; 

At  last  came  the  day,  and  the  daylight  appeared. 

All  Peking  Hocked  into  the  learned  rehearsal. 

And  hubbub  and  hurry  became  universal. 

The  tailors  were  busy  the  week  before, 

In  mending  old  dresses  and  making  more  ; 

And  now  all  the  barbers  were  so  in  demand, 

There  were  scarcely  enough   to  be  found  in  the 

land  ; 
What  with  shaving  the  heads  of  man,  women,  and 

lad. 
You'd  have  fancied,  i'  faith,  all  the  world  had  gone 

mad ; 
There  was  shaving  of  heads  and  plaiting  of  queues, 
And  painting  fair  cheeks  of  all  beautiful  hues; 
There  was  tinting  of  nails  and  squeezing  of  feet. 
For  who  but  would  wish  to  look   handsome  and 

neat. 
When  the  whole  of  the  city  was  forth  in  the  street  ? 

On  his  throne  of  high  state  sat  the  Emperor  bold, 
Like   "  X   with    his    Icsjs    across"    cross-leorsed 
sat  he ; 
And  his  ladies  were  near  him,  so  fair  to  behold. 

But  in  small  wicker  cages  that  no  one  might  see. 
And  six  pairs  of  spectacles,  ranged  on  each  side, 
Formed  a  spectacle  proper  to  kindle  his  pride ; 
For  behind  every  pair  sat  a  councillor  keen, 
With  a  nose  of  great  gravity  peeping  between. 
The  pastors  and  masters,  the  doctors  and  proctors, 
Of  learnings  great  digest  the  learned  concocters. 


248  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Were  ranged  in  due  order;  and  next  on  the  boards, 

Were  the  small  mandarins,  with  their  buttons  and 
swords. 

Then  the   parents   and   uncles,  and   guardians   of 
students, 

Had  their  part  of  the  floor  just  marked  out  by  a  few 
dents ; 

And  last  came  the  scholars,  so  proud  of  their  know- 
ledge. 
Of  morals,  and  rhetoric,  and  history  its  big  tales; 

Whilst  the  great  court  was  filled  up  in  front  of  the 
college. 
With  rag- tail  and  bob-tail,  all  bobbing  their  pig- 
tails. 

The  spectacles  put  on  their  learnedest  looks, 

And  the  orators  spoke  like  printed  books; 

Joy  was  in  flower  and  wisdom  ripe, 

And  the  Emperor  smiled  as  he  smoked  his  pipe; 

The  Emperor  smiled  as  the  crew  he  scanned, 

To  think  what  learning  was  in  his  land ; 

For  there  was  not  a  student  the  least  in  size. 

But  had  got  his  head  stufied  with  the  works  of  the 

wise; 
So  that  each  of  their  heads,  to  his  fancy's  view. 
Seemed  a  book  full  of  print,  with  a  mark  for  the 

queue. 
Well !  some  ficads  are  books  to  hold  learning — but, 

marry, 
Know  as  much  as  do  books  of  the  learning  they 

carry. 


THE  STUDENT   OF  HANLAN.  249 

At  last  they  began,  sir : 

The  trial  was  hard, 
And  question  and  answer 

Played  thrust  and  guard ; 
Some  fumbled,  and  stumbled,  and  tumbled;  then 

mumbled, 
And  grumbled  because  their  ideas  were  jumbled, 
Whereby  all   at  once   they  were   painfully  hum- 

'  bled. 
And  hope's  handsome  fabric  so  cruelly  crumbled  : 
And   some  got  on   better  by  muttering  and  stut- 
tering, 
And  sputtering  as  though  their  tongues  wanted  a 

buttering, 
With  muscles  all  twitching  and  pig-tails  all  fluttering, 
And  big  drops  of  heat  from  their  foreheads  down 

guttering, — 
For  no  one  could  make  out  the  words  they  were 

uttering. 

But  at  last  came  the  turns  of  Fee-Fee  and  Fum- 

Fum, 
And  there  rose  a  gi-eat  hum  when  the  folks  saw 

them  come. 
For  the  tongue  of  report  had  by  no  means  been 

dumb; 
She  had  whispered  to  some,  or  made  signs  with  her 

thumb, 
And  at  other  times  spoke  out  as  loud  as  a  drum. 
And  had  told  of  the  pair. 
Of  their  learning  so  rare. 
And  besides  of  their  rivalry  touching  the  fair. 


250  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Fee-Fee  stepped  forth  with  confidence,  collected 

quite  and  cool : 
He  knew  himself,  if  not  the  best,  the  second  best  at 

school ; 
And   he  knew  his  rival,  poor  Fum-Fum,  at  other 

times  his  match. 
Was  likely  to  break  down  with  funk  when  he  came 

up  to  the  scratch. 

But  Fum-Fum  had  been  smoking  well  his  opium 
pipe  that  rporn. 

And  so  could  speak  as  free  and  bold  as  any  man 
that's  born ; 

And  looked  with  scorn  on  rivalry  so  paltry  as  Fee- 
Fee's, 

For  he  thought  himself  the  better  man  by  number- 
less degrees. 

Yet  when  they  underwent  the  proof  it  chanced  to 
fall  out  so. 

That  which  might  be  the  abler  youth  not  any  one 
might  know: 

I  can't  get  all  within  my  page  reporting  Fame  could 
cram  in  hers ; 

Suffice  that  either  knew  enough  to  puzzle  his  ex- 
aminers. 

Though  questions  made  sharp  thrusts  at  them  to 

take  them  by  surprise, 
Prepared  were  they  to  parry  these  with  pointedest 

replies ; 


THE  STUDENT    OF  HANLAN.  251 

And  tried  in  logic,  rhetoric,  and  classic  prose  and 

rhymes, 
Fum-Fum   but  hesitated  twice,  and  Fee-Fee   but 

three  times. 

And  so  the  judges  for  awhile  suspended  their  de- 
cision, 

Till  they  could  look  the  question  through,  and  view 
with  clearer  vision ; 

And  bade  the  rival  youths  meanwhile  in  an  outer 
room  to  stay, 

That  their  presence  in  the  hall  might  cause  no  bias 
either  way. 

And  the  learned  heads  were  busy,  when  the  two 
young  men  were  gone. 

In  sifting  through  the  business  with  their  -pro  and 
with  their  con ; 

And  they  laid  their  learned  pigtails  all  together  to 
make  plain, 

Whether  Fum-Fum  or  Fee-Fee  might  be  the  cle- 
verer of  the  twain. 

But  when  the  fact  was  laid  before  their  consciences 
so  nice. 

That  thrice  Fee-Fee  was  found  at  fault,  and  Fum- 
Fum  only  twice, 

In  Fum-Fum's  favour  they  prepared  their  verdict  to 
impart. 

When  they  heard  a  sudden  noise  that  made  their 
learned  pigtails  start. 


252  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Now  it  came  to  pass,  as  it  well  might  be, 
That  when  Fum-Fum  and  when  Fee-Fee, 

Those  rivals  alike  in  love  and  books, 
Met  by  themselves  in  an  outer  apartment. 
Each  knowing  full  well  what  the  other  at  heart 
meant, 
They  cast  at  each  other  some  comical  looks : 
And  with  scornings  and  sneers 
And  with  jibings  and  jeers. 
And  with  laughter  and  leers, 
As  in  fact  it  appears, 
They  treated  each  other,  each  anxious  to  show 
Himself  such  a  much  greater  man  than  his  foe. 

"  Faugh,  faugh  !"  said  Fum-Fum  in  low  voice  to 

Fee-Fee, 
"  Would  Fo-Fo  give  Faw-Faw    to  a  fellow  like 

thee? 
By  my  fay,   no,   Fee-Fee :   fair   Faw-Faw   is   to 

come 
As  a  fee  from  Fo-Fo  to  thy  foeman  Fum-Fum." 

"  Nay,  few,  few,"  said  Fee-Fee,  "  can  believe  that 

Fo-Fo 
Would  affy  fair  Faw-Faw  too  a  youth  so  so-so : 
Fye,  fye,  no,  Fum-Fum  !  fair  Faw-Faw  is  to  be 
As  a  fee  from  Fo-Fo  to  thy  foeman  Fee-Fee." 

As  thus  spoke  Fee-Fee,  oh,  how  wrath  grew  Fum- 
Fum, 

His  rage  made  him  hot  and  his  scorn  made  him 
dumb: 


THE  STUDENT  OF  HANLAN.  253 

His  swift  indignation  he  could  not  restrain, 

For  the    fumes   of    the  opium   were    still   in   his 

brain. 
He  could  not  restrain  it,  so  what  did  he  do. 
But  he  seized  poor  Fee-Fee  with  both  liands  by  the 

queue, 
And  exerting  his  arms   with   more  strength   than 

would  rope  y*="' 
If  he  hadn't  been  highly  excited  by  opium, 
He  made  him  his  victim, 
And  knocked  him  and  kicked  him, 
And  then   swung   him  round    and  round   over  his 
head. 

Till  his  queue 
Broke  in  two, 
And  away  Fee-Fee  flew, 
When  stopped  by  the  door, 
He  fell  plump  on  the  floorj 
Which  occasioned  the  noise  which  we  mentioned 

before, 
And  frighted  the  sages,  as  also  was  said. 

When  the  cause  of  the  clamour  was  known  in  the 
hall, 
The  judges  looked   grave   and   the   councillors 
blinked, 
And  the  Emperor  put  on  a  frown  to  appal 

So   fearful  that   none   who    looked   at  him   but 
winked  : 
22 


254  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Unhappy  Fee-Fee  was  found  lying  along, 

No  life  in  his  limbs  and  no  breath  in  his  jaws, 

And  a  little  way  off  was  the  cause  of  the  wFong, 
With  the  tip  of  the  pigtail  still  left  in  his  paws. 

The  learned  professors  were  greatly  perplexed, 
And  to  clear  up  the  mystery  asked,  "  What  will 

come  next?" 
The  lenses  loomed  large  on  the  noses  of  sages, 
And  the  dear  little  ladies   squeaked    out   of  their 

cages ; 
The  parents  and  guardians  stood  twiddling   their 

queues ; 
The  mandarins  coughed,  and  the  students  turned 

pale; 
Arid  the  rag-tag  and  bob-tail  a;sked  what  was  the 

news, 
Wheh  his  Majesty  ordered  the  culprit  to  jail. 

On  hearing  the  fact  of  how  Fum-Fum  attacked, 
And  made  such  rude  siege  on 
His  fellow  collegian, 
What  mode  might  be  left  for  the  judges  to  aCt  ? 
It  was  plain  that  Fum-Fum,  by  his  headstrong  pro- 
ceeding, 
Would  have  thrown  himself  out  of  the  field, 
In  spite  of  his  worth  and  his  erudite  reading, 
If  Fee-Fee  should  ever  be  healed : 
He  had  lost  every  claim. 
And  they  struck  off  his  name : 


THE  STUDENT  OF  HANLAN.  255 

But  as  Fee-Fee  appeared  to  be  dead, 

Why  there  seemed  every  chance 

(His  ill-luck  to  enhance) 
That  they  shortly  might  strike  off  his  head. 

And  sure  'tis  a  prospect  one's  nerves  to  relax. 
To  think  that  one's  head  should  be  docked  by  an 
axe. 
Or  a  hatchet,  or  great  guillotine ; 
And  if  we  should  live  long  enough  ever  to  see 
Our  own  head  struck  off,  oh,  we  hope  it  may  be 
By  a  copper-plate  printing  machine  ! 
Or  we  don't  mind  wood  blocks, 
So  they  be  but  of  box, 
And  the  headsman  an  artist  of  name : 
But  an'  if  we  be  hung, 
We  shall  hope  to  be  slung 
In  a  neat  little  maple-wood  franxe. 

Well,  the  people  all  stared  when  the  judges  declared 

That  Fum-Fum  was  struck  off  the  list; 
And  that  Fee-Fee  would  be  at  the  top  of  the  tree 

If  he  had  not  so  ceased  to  exist. 
They  gave  up  his  body,  so  battered  and  bloody. 

To  some  of  his  friends  that  were  there : 
And  they  broke  up  the  court  to  betake  them  to  sport ; 
And  with  kites  and  sky-rockets,  and  squibs  in  their 

pockets, 
With  fifes  and  drums  and  with  nice  sugar  plums, 
The  sages,  we  bet,  grew  a  frolicsome  set, 

And  cared  very  little  for  care. 


256  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

But,  alas!  for  the  fate  of  the  fooUsh  Fum-Fum, 
Had  he  only  been  wise,  he'd  have  joined  in  the  hum  ! 
Now  thrust  in  a  dungeon  so  damp  and  so  dim. 
The  squibs,  fifes,  and  sugar-plums  were  not  for  him. 
His  renown,  his  Faw-Faw,  too,  he  lost  for  his  freak, 
And  might  perhaps  lose  his  head  by  the  end  of  the 
week. 

Poor  pigtailed  Apollo ! 

What  course  could  he  follow, 
Not  now  having  opium  to  smother  his  dread  ? 

Why,  giving  a  wipe 

To  the  bowl  of  his  pipe. 
He  cut  up  his  pigtail  and  smoked  it  instead. 

The  days  rolled  slowly  o'er  Fum-Fum  within  his 

prison  cell  ; 
The  first  day  passed — the  second  came — the  third, 

and  all  was  well ; 
The  fourth  rolled  by  on  leaden  wheels, — the  fifth  on 

wheels  of  lead ; 
The  sixth  a  heavier  pace  than  all, — :he  wished  that 

he  were  dead ! 

He  looked  around,  but  looked  in  vain,  for  poison 

rope,  or  knife ; 
"  Oh,  would  I'd  died  ten  thousand  times,  or  ere  I 

came  to  fife !" 
He  tried  his  belt,^"  Ah  mp !  ah  me !  I  almost  had 

forgotten. 
This  would  not  serve  to  hang  a  mouse,  it  is  sq  old 

and  rotten !" 


THE  STUDENT  OF  HANLAN.  257 

The  seventh  day  came, — with  every  day  his  hope 

had  grown  more  dim, — 
The  seventh  day  came, — of  all  the  days  the  saddest 

day  to  him; 
For  lying  so  long  in  the  damp,  he  had  caught  a 

cold  and  cough ; 
Besides, — men  came  to  lead  him  forth  and  see  his 

head  chopped  off. 

They  led  him  forth — those  heartless  men — they  led 

him  forth  from  jail. 
They  lugged  him  forward  by  his  head, — they  could 

not  by  his  tail, — 
By  reason  that,  as  we  just  now  made  mention  in  our 

lay, 
The  latter,  pressed  into  his  pipe,  had  all  been  puffed 

away. 

At  first,  as  he  was  hauled  along,  it  somewhat  eased 

his  dread, 
To  fancy  favour  might  be  shown  to  one  so  deeply 

read; 
But  when  brought  in  the  judgment  hall,  so  stern  the 

judges  looked. 
He  knew  that  books  were  all  in  vain, — he  knew 

that  he  was  booked. 

And  when  he  glanced  around  the  hall, — to  prove 

that  hope  was  vain, 
Lo !  executioners  were  there  with  instruments  of 

pain; 

22* 


'258  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Bamboos,  cangues,  and  harsh  thumb-screws,  and 

ankle-screws  he  saw. 
And  hatchets  dread  to  chop  the  head,-^stern  minis- 

trants  of  law. 

Those  horrid  executioners  they  seized  on  poor  Fum- 
Fum, 

And  through  the  hall  of  judgment  then  rose  expecta- 
tion's hum : 

They  screwed  his  thumbs  as  flat  as  leaves  and 
crunched  his  ankle  bones, 

And  all  the  people  clapped  their  hands  to  hear  his 
fearful  groans, 

And   then  they  strapped   him,   waist  and  knees, 

against  an  upright  board, 
And  would  have  lopped  away  his  head  by  whirling 

round  a  sword  ; 
But  just  as  one  had  raised  it  up,  prepared  his  head 

to  lop, 
Lo !  some  one  called  aloud  to  them,  requesting  them 

to  stop. 

So  they  just  stopped  to  know 

Who  had  called  to  them  so, 
And  asked,  rather  angry, "  Who  is  he?  Who  is  he?" 

When  who  should  it  be 

But  the  very  Fee-Fee 
On  account  of  whose  death  they  had  all  been  so 
busy. 


THE  STUDENT  OF  HANLAN.  259 

And  Fee-Fee   stepped  forth  and  went  up  to  the 

judges, 
And  told  them  he  bore  no  ill  feelings  and  grudges 
Towards   hapless   Fum-Fum,   who    had    suffered 

already 
Enough,  for  the  future  to  make  him  more  steady. 
He  said  (but  they  scarcely  believed  him  at  all) 
That  he  had  not  been  killed  out  and  out  by  his  fall ; 
But  had  lain,  as  it  chanced, 
For  a  season  entranced. 
And  when  he  recovered  was  not  very  sore ; 
So  had  little  to  rue, 
Save  the  loss  of  his  queue, 
And  that  very  probably  time  would  restore. 
"  And  now,"  said  Fee^Fee,  "  I  have  married  Faw- 
Faw, 
Who  begged  me  to  come 
And  pray  that  Fum-Fum 
Might  not  suffer  farther  distress  from  the  law. 
So  I  only  just  waited  a  moment  to  see 

How  thumb-screws  and  ankle-screws  act, 
And  I  trust  you  will  let  my  friend  Fum-Fum  go  free, 
Now  that  some  of  his  bones  have  been  cracked." 

The  judges  consulted  a  little,  aside. 

And  briefly  in  answer  to  Fee-Fee  replied, 

That  they  pardoned  the  life  of  Fum-Fum : 
To  the  great  disappointment  of  all  in  the  court, 
Who  expected  to  witness  some  excellent  sport, 

And  found  it  was  only  a  hum. 


260  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

So  Fum-Fum  was  sent  home,  for  he  couldn't  well 

walk, 
And  his  story  occasioned  a  great  deal  of  talk : 

But  as  for  himself,  oh,  ne'er 
From  that  very  time  forth  could  he  hold  up  his  head, 
Though  it  wasn't  cut  off, — and  the  life  that  he  led 

Was  a  very  great  burden  to  bear. 

You  fancy  he  couldn't  be  much  at  his  ease. 
When  he  knew  fair  Faw-Faw  was  his  foeman  Fee- 
Fee's  ; 

So  to  banish  regret, 

(Though  it  got  him  in  debt,) 
He  laid  out  in  opium  all  he  could  get, 

And  he  smoked  it  away 

By  night  and  by  day. 
Not  minding  at  all  what  his  parents  might  say. 

And  his  face  grew  green 

And  he  got  very  lean, 
And  his  eyes  were  too  terrible  things  to  be  seen ; 
And  his  wasted  lips  round  his  teeth  were  spread. 
With  the  horrible  grin  of  a  live  death's  head. 
And  he  moped  and  he  pined  as  his  health  declined, 
Until,  from  an  equal  marasmus  of  mind, 

In  an  idiot  fit,  one  day,  [typ^') 

(Though  it's  likely  the  fact  may  look  strange  in  our 
He  sat  himself  down  on  the  bowl  of  his  pipe, 

And  by  a  mistake. 

Which  he  happened  to  make, — 
Or  urged  thereunto  by  the  woes  he  endured. 
And  because  to  be  smoked  is  the  way  to  be  cured, — 

Smoked  his  very  own  self  away. 


THE  STUPENT  OF  HANLAN.  261 

'•'  Go,  my  song,"  says  Pi-Ping,  in  concluding  this 

tale, 
"O'er  the  waters  of  fame  with   thine  oar  and  thy 

sail ; 
And  tell  ages  and  ages  and  ages  to  come, 
Of  Faw-Faw,  and  Fee-Fee,  and  Fo-Fo  and  Fum- 

Fum." 


THE    PORCELAIN    TOWER. 


THE    FEAST    OF    LANTERNS* 

"Heigh-ho! 
Amida-Fo — 
What  shall  I  do? 
Where  shall  I  go  ? 
With  my  Hey-ho,  hey  nonny  no." 

No-Wpn. 

Is  there  any  one,  we  mean,  who  has  not 
heard  of  that  great  annual  festival  of  China, 
yclept  the  Feast  of  Lanterns  ?  It  occurs  at 
the  commencement  of  the  year :  not  indeed 
in  your  January ;  it  is  not  a  snug  fireside 
solemnity  like  our  Christmas,  but  an  out-of- 
door  jubilee.     It  would   not,   therefore,  be 

*  The  Feast  of  Lanterns  is  a  comical  story  by  Jing.Go.  It 
would  be  superfluous  surely  to  say  any  thing  of  a  writer  wliose 
name  must  be  so  familiar  to  all  our  readers. 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS,  263 

suited  to  a  Peking  mid-winter,  when  the 
snow,  as  is  frequently  the  case  in  the  "  Re- 
gion of  Eternal  Spring,"  has  well  nigh  bu- 
ried the  houses.  It  is  celebrated  at  the  full 
of  the  moon,  about  the  commencement  of 
the  Chinese  year,  but  towards  the  end  of 
our  February.  At  that  time,  in  the  Far 
East,  the  spring  has  made  some  progress ; 
the  peach-trees  are  in  blossom,  and  little 
birds,  in  the  southern  provinces,  pour  out 
their  sweet  "  Te-te,"  in  measures  now  weak 
and  now  strong,  from  the  branches  of  the  tea- 
trees.  The  Feast  of  Lanterns  takes  place 
at  the  full  of  the  moon ;  but  the  new-year's 
holidays  commence  about  a  fortnight  earlier, 
and  continue  for  three  weeks.  These  holi- 
days are  of  the  merriest  possible  description ; 
the  whole  population  of  the  most  populous  of 
lands  dispensing  for  the  time  with  all  toil, 
and  banishing  all  care ;  and  thinking  of  no- 
thing but  eating  and  drinking,  and  acting 
courteously,  and  making  merry. 

Now,  in  all  lands,  at  all  festivals,  eating 
and  drinking  are  well  understood,  and  equally 


264  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

well  practised  by  most  that  have  the  means; 
And  the  people  of  continental  Europe  make 
merry  at  the  Carnival,  and  the  time  when 
ourselves  did  so  at  Christmas,  is  within  the 
recollection  even  of  young  persons ;  but  the 
festivals  of  no  other  people  have  at  any  time 
been  made  so  resplendent  by  the  polish  of 
courtesy  as  those  of  the  Chinese.  It  has  been 
calculated  that  during  the  three  weeks  of 
their  new-year's  jubilee,  upwards  of  four  mil- 
lions of  bows,  besides  other  forms  of  salutation 
are  annually  made  by  this  polite  race.  Their 
presents  to  each  other  on  the  same  occasion 
are  likewise  very  numerous,  about  one,  it  is 
supposed,  to  every  ten  thousand  bows. 

There  is  not  at  any  time  a  lack  of  cere- 
mony and  external  politeness  among  the 
Chinese ;  but  at  this  particular  season  a  cer- 
tain cordiality  prevails  among  them;  and 
makes  them,  for  a  while,  forego  some  of  their 
colder  and  less  social  forms  and  customs.  All 
swarm  into  the  streets,  with  little  to  do  but 
to  greet  and  to  be  greeted;  and   even  the 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  265 

ladies  enjoy  for  a  brief  period  a  certain  degree 
of  liberty,  which  is  not  allowed  them  during 
the  remainder  of  the  year :  they  mask  them- 
selves and  go  forth  into  the  streets  with  their 
husbands  and  parents,  and  witness  the  exhi- 
bitions of  lireworks,  kite-flying,  boat-racing, 
or  whatever  happens  to  offer  in  the  streets  or 
on  the  canals,  for  the  amusement  of  the  idle 
multitudes.  No  one  keeps  within  doors. 
The  very  servants  are  allowed  to  wander 
forth ;  and  houses  are  frequently  left  quite 
vacant;  the  doors,  of  course,  at  such  times 
being  locked  to  prevent  the  entrance  of  any 
who  might  otherwise,  by  mistake,  find  their 
way  into  apartments  not  their  own. 

Shops  are  shut  up  :  manufactories  are  de- 
serted :  there  is  no  business  in  the  public 
courts  and  offices.  Grave  magistrates  trun- 
dle hoops  in  the  streets ;  philosophers,  like 
so  many  Franklins,  fly  kites.  Myriads  of 
paper  boats  are  set  afloat  upon  the  rivers; 
squibs  and  crackers  at  night  make  the  whole 
air  luminous,  and  the  smell  of  the  sulphur 

may  be  perceived  afar  off"  at  sea. 
23 


266  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

Such  are  the  rejoicings  at  the  new  year. 
But  the  grand  feast  of  all  the  festival  is  on 
the  night  of  the  full  moon ;  and  this  is  called, 
as  we  have  said,  the  Feast  of  Lanterns.  It 
takes  its  name  from  an  exhibition  then  made 
of  paper  or  silken  lanterns  of  all  varieties  of 
form  and  colour,  with  one  of  which  every 
individual  is  careful  to  be  provided. 

The  day  of  the  Feast  of  Lanterns  had  ar- 
rived, and  all  the  population  of  Peking  were 
awaiting  with  anxiety  the  display  that  was  to 
take  place  in  the  evening.  The  weather  was 
delightfully  fine,  and  anticipation  w^as  stand- 
ing, Taglioni-wise,  upon  the  very  tip  of  her 
great  toe;  ah  awkward  position  for  a  less 
buoyant  lady  to  have  preserved  through  so 
many  hours.  Multitudes  of  the  Citizens 
were  prepared  with  new  lamps,  etnd  mul- 
titudes more  were  furbishing  up  old,  all 
hoping  that  their  individual  lights  would  at- 
tract individual  attention.  Many  a  little 
urchin  had  formed  for  himself  a  liintern  out 
of  scraps  of  paper  that  had  lain  about  the 
streets,  and  ih  the  innocence  of  his  heart  be- 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  267 

lieved  that  his  little  fistful  of  darkness-visible 
would  excite  the  same  admiration  in  all  others 
that  it  raised  in  himself.  Lanterns  were  the 
universal  theme  of  conversation  ;  and  upon 
that  night  you  might  be  sure  no  livers  in  Pe- 
king would  be  without  their  lights. 

The  family  of  the  worthy  Hou-Nou  partici- 
pated with  the  other  citizens  in  anxiety  upon 
the  all  important  matter.  The  family  of  the 
worthy  Hou-Nou  consisted,  besides  himself, 
of  his  wife,  Nae-Nae,  his  daughter,  Hey-ho, 
and  two  or  three  domestics.  Hou-Nou  was 
a  person  of  some  consideration  in  the  "busi- 
ness part"  of  the  city:  he  was  a  dealer  in 
candles  and  oil,  and,  therefore,  the  Feast  of 
Lanterns,  it  may  be  supposed,  occasioned  in 
him  even  more  than  the  ordinary  interest. 
It  was  a  gratification  to  him  to  walk  forth  in 
the  evenings  at  seasons  like  the  present,  and 
imagine  that  any  lantern  whose  consumptive 
flickerings  he  detected  at  a  distance,  might 
possibly  be  indebted  for  its  little  dole  of  vi- 
tality to  the  oil  pots  at  No.  1,  in  the  "  Alley 
of  Salted  Sturgeon."  Number  1,  in  the  Alley 


268  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

of  Salted  Sturgeon,  was  the  house  in  which 
Hou-Nou  resided,  as  had  done  niany  genera- 
tions of  his  progenitors;  and  its  shelves  and 
corners  were  abundantly  stocked  with  vene- 
rable oil  jars,  for  he  carried  on  a  thriving  re- 
tail trade;  yet,  perhaps,  like  many  a  worthy 
alderman,  Hou-Nou  gave  himself  credit  for 
contributing-  to  the  enliorhtenment  of  his  fellow 
citizens,  more  than  was  in  reality  the  case. 
His  wife,  Nae-Nae,  fully  appreciated  the 
great  public  value  of  her  husband  and  his  oil ; 
and  if  she  sometimes  shook  him  by  the  nose, 
it  was  from  no  want  of  proper  respect,  but 
merely  from  a  little  infirmity  of  temper.  The 
daughter  of  this  felicitous  twain  was  a  dam- 
sel of  sixteen,  exceeding  comely,  but  too  sim- 
ple to  have  grown,  at  so  tender  an  age,  at  all 
aware  of  the  fact.  Let  another  year  or  two 
roll  over  her, — let  the  shepherds  of  Peking 
write  madrigals  to  her  trotters,  and  throw"  up 
their  sheep's  eyes  at  her  window,  and  no 
doubt  a  change  would  come  over  the  spirit 
of  her  dreams.  But  as  yet,  when  she  heard 
of  fireworks  and  lanterns,  she  thought  not  of 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  269 

her  eyes;  she  had  Httle  idea  how  well  these 
were  calculated  to  attract  the  eyes  of  others; 
and  if  she  had  possessed  ten  thousand  pairs 
she  would  have  considered  one  pyrotechnic 
volley  worth  them  all. 

The  day  had  arrived:  the  white  slave 
whose  business  it  was  to  see  that  all  prepara- 
tions were  duly  made  for  the  approach  of  the 
expected  Ethiop  queen, — proud  lady,  with 
thousands  of  "rich  jewels"  in  her  ear,  and 
carcanets  of  stars  about  her  brows, — and 
Hou-Nou,  one  of  the  artisans  employed  upon 
the  decorations  of  the  palace,  was  busily  en- 
gaged in  cleaning  up  old  lanterqs,  supplying 
fresh  paper  where  needed,  and  oiling  it  to 
make  it  more  transparent,  when  a  knock  was 
given  to  the  gong  at  the  door,  and  that  being 
answered,  a  servant  delivered  a  letter.  This 
was  taken  to  Hou-Nou,  who  put  down  the 
lantern  he  had  at  the  moment  in  his  hand, 
wiped  his  oily  fingers,  and  perused  the  epis- 
tle. 

Hou-Nou  was,  as  we  Jiave  said,  a  very  wor- 
thy little  gentleman;  but  he  was  of  hot  tem- 
23* 


270  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

per,  as  little  gentlemen  are  very  apt  to  be.  "  A 
little  pot  is  soon  hot,"  says  Grumio,  and  Hou- 
Nou  was  a  little  pot.  Imagine  not,  however, 
that  Hou-Nou  was  a  round  little  man;  on  the 
contrary,  he  was  what  the  Chinese  call "  short 
weight,"  both  short  and  thin;  and  he  rejoiced 
in  a  face  and  forehead  that  might  have  been 
mistaken  for  a  monkey's.  Well,  as  Hou- 
Nou  read  the  letter  his  indignation  arose, 
and  was  expressed  in  numberless  twitchings 
of  his  by  no  means  prepossessing  physiogno- 
my :  he  scratched  his  head  and  rubbed  his 
chin,  and  casting  a  look  with  his  two  large, 
monkey  eyes,  upon  the  domestic  from  whom 
he  had  received  the  document,  he  demanded 
who  had  left  it  at  the  door.  Being  informed 
that  it  had  been  brought  by  a  gentleman's  ser- 
vant, he  desired  that  the  gentleman's  servant 
might  come  into  the  apartment;  but  his  own 
attendant,  on  going  to  the  hall,  discovered 
that  the  bearer  of  the  letter  had  disappeared. 
"  Who  the  black  dragon  can  have  sent  me 
this?"  said  Hou-Nou  to  himself,  as  he  turned 
about  the  epistle  in  his  hands,  and  examined 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  271 

it  carefully  sideways  and  upside  down.  The 
motto  upon  the  seal  did  not  assist  him  at  all  in 
unfolding  the  mystery.  "  Who  the  black 
dragon  can  this  be  from?"  was  the  motto. 

The  object  of  the  communication  which  was 
anonymous,  was  to  warn  Hou-Nou  to  keep 
a  strict  watch  upon  his  beautiful  daughter 
Hey-ho,  during  the  approaching  evening  of 
the  Feast  of  Lanterns;  for  it  proceeded  to 
state,  that  that  young  lady  had  made  an  en- 
gagement with  a  young  gentleman,  a  certain 
Fun,  to  withdraw  herself  from  the  fostering 
care  of  her  parents,  and  to  throw  herself  upon 
his  protection;  and  that  the  evening  of  the 
Feast  of  Lanterns  was  the  time  agreed  upon 
between  them  for  carrying  this  purpose  into 
effect.  There  is  no  season  of  the  Chinese 
year  so  propitious  for  marriage  as  the  holi- 
day with  which  it  commences;  and  the  nearer 
the  full  of  the  moon,  the  more  fortunate  the  oc- 
casion is  considered.  We  are  inclined  to  be- 
lieve that  even  in  the  West  a  majority  of  marri- 
ages are  agreed  upon  at  the  full  of  the  moon. 
This  was,  doubtless,  one  reason  which  might 


272  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

have  had  some  weight  in  inducing  the  young 
people  to  select  that  particular  time;  but 
another,  which  would  be  likely  to  possess 
still  greater  ponderosity,  was,  that  the  tem- 
porary liberty  then  usually  accorded  to 
young  ladies  would  very  considerably  facili- 
tate the  execution  of  such  a  project. 

Hey-ho  was  to  have  gone  forth  witli  her 
parents,  in  the  evening,  to  have  witnessed 
the  exhibition  of  lamps  and  fireworks;  and 
(as  the  letter  informed  Hou-Nou,)  would 
take  advantage  of  a  moment  when  all  eyes 
and  minds  were  engaged  with  some  fresh 
display  of  pyro technical  ingenuity,  to  steal 
off  with  the  insidious  Fun.  Little  wonder 
then,  that  the  young  lady's  respectable  father 
was  surprised,  and  wrathful  at  the  receipt  of 
such  intelligence;  but  he  was  naturally  cu- 
rious to  discover  wdio  was  his  informant,  and 
how  his  unknown  correspondent  became  pos- 
sessed of  such  a  secret.  He  was  not  able  to 
unravel  this  mystery;  and  he  determined, 
before  he  resolved  on  any  decisive  step,  to 
question  his  daughter,  without  making  her 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  273 

aware  of  his  suspicions.  He  sent,  therefore, 
for  Hey-ho. 

"  You  wish,  Hey-ho,"  said  he,  when  his 
daughter  appeared  before  him,  "  you  wish 
to  accompany  your  parents  this  evening,  to 
see  the  fireworks  and  lanterns?" 

'•  If  my  highly-honoured  father  will  per- 
mit," replied  Hey-ho,  making  a  very  pro- 
found bow. 

"  And  why  do  you  so  much  desire  to  at- 
tend the  festival  ?  what  very  particular  object 
have  you  in  view?" 

"  None  very  particular,"  she  said,  with 
another  most  lowly  bend ;  "  I  wish,  with 
my  parents'  permission,  to  go,  for  the  sake 
of  fun." 

"  Oh  !  for  the  sake  of  Fun.  You  are  fond 
of  Fun  then,  are  you?  But  I  do  not  intend 
that  you  shall  have  anything  to  do  with  Fun ; 
I  shall  lock  you  up  this  evening  when  we  go 
forth." 

"  I  trust,"  said  Hey-ho,  with  a  surprised 
and  imploring  look,  and  making  use  of  the 
figurative  mode  of  speech,  so  much  employed 


274  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

in  the  ordinary  discourse  of  the  Chinese," 
I  trust  a  potent  and  magnanimous  cat  will 
not  treat  its  poor  mouse  so  harshly,"  And 
she  accompanied  her  words  with  a  bow, 
more  expressive  of  deep  filial  reverance  than 
either  of  those  by  which  it  had  been  pre- 
ceded. 

"  I  shall  do  as  I  say,"  continued  Hou-Nou ; 
"  and  a  bamboo  grows  in  the  garden.  Auda- 
cious girl!  to  think  of  Fun  without  permis- 
sion of  your  father." 

*' Alas!  "  cried  Hey-ho,  "  I  thought,  as  a 
thing  of  course,  that  my  lofty  tower  of  a  fa- 
ther would  wish  me  to  have  fun.  I  should 
have  been  careful  else  how  I  entertained  the 
idea." 

It  was  all  in  vain  that  poor  little  Hey-ho 
entreated.  Her  father  was  inexorable,  as  he 
considered  that  she  had  owned  her  fault,  and 
established  the  truth  of  the  statements  in  the 
epistle  by  confessing  her  predilection  for 
Fun.  Her  mother  also  took  part  against 
her,  and  declared  her  to  be  a  most  profligate 
little  creature  for  entertaining  this  unaccoun- 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  275 

table  fondness  for  Fun :  she  fully  coincided 
with  her  husband  in  the  propriety  of  locking 
her  up,  and  not  allowing  her  to  witness  the 
amusements  of  the  evening.  Poor  little  Hey- 
ho  vainly  ventured  some  very  respectful  re- 
monstrances, accompanying  the  same  with 
most  filial  reverences ;  but  finding  that  these 
were  quite  without  effect,  she  betook  herself 
with  a  heavy  heart,  to  solitude  and  tears. 

Well  the  evening  came :  the  lanterns  were 
ready ;  and  Hou-NoU  and  his  wife  went  forth. 
They  permitted  their  domestics  to  accom- 
pany them,  but  left  the  tinhappy  Hey-ho  to 
meditation  and  misery.  Unfortunate  little 
Hey-ho  !  disconsolate  little  Hey-ho  !  She 
had  been  haunted  for  months  past,  awake 
and  asleep,  with  visions  of  the  Feast  of  Lan- 
terns— the  holiday  of  the  year.  The  rest  of 
the  twelve  moons  had  passed  away  in  the 
dullest  monotony,  and  gave  her  a  keen  appe- 
tite for  a  little  taste  of  amusement.  She  had 
long  been  reckoning  with  confidence  upon 
this;  she  had  looked  to  the  F^east  of  Lanterns 
as  an  occasion  of  perfect  felicity.     She  had 


276  THE  PORCELAIN  TOAVER. 

behaved  with  the  most  dutiful  attention  to 
her  parents ;  they  had  hitherto  appeared  per- 
fectly willing  that  she  should  accompany 
them  on  that  evening;  she  had  no  idea  that 
there  could  be  any  other  object  in  attending 
such  a  festival  except  enjoyment,  or,  as  she 
called  it,  fun ;  she  had  congratulated  herself 
in  the  morning  that  the  dav  was  so  fine ;  and 
she  had  anticipated  abundance  of  fun  in  the 
evening.  Oh,  must  not  then  the  disappoint- 
ment of  Hey-ho  have  been  exceeding  bitter, 
as  the  goodly  fabric  which  hope  had  reared 
for  her  of  all  the  prettiest  cards  in  the  pack, 
was  thus  blown  down  by  the  breath  of  an 
•unkind  father? 

With  vain  entreaties  she  followed  her  pa- 
rents to  the  street  door  :  the}-^  went  out, 
closed  it,  and  removed  the  key,  leaving  her 

only  one  dull  lantern  to  console  her  for  the 
loss  of  the  illumination. 

She  leant  against  the  cruel  portal  and  sob- 
bed as  though  her  little  heart  would  have 
split  into  a  thousand  flinders.     '•  Well,  this 


Jlf'^' 


0 


^1 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  277 

is  no  fun  at  all,"  she  cried;  "  there's  no  fun 
for  me !" 

"  That's  as  you  please,"  observed  a  little 
voice  somewhere ;  but  Hey-ho  could  not  for 
a  while  discover  from  whence  the  little  voice 
proceeded.  She  was  startled  and  terrified, 
and  glanced  round  without  perceiving  any 
one.  At  last  her  eyes  fell  upon  a  large  jar, 
which  stood  in  one  corner  of  the  hall ;  and 
her  astonishment  was  great  at  observing  a 
small,  round  head  appearing  above  the  neck 
of  this  earthen  vessel,  the  lid  of  which  was 
raised,  and  served  as  a  cap  to  the  small  round 
head. 

Hey-ho's  heart  beat  fast  when  she  noticed 
this  apparition,  and  she  almost  sank  upon  the 
ground  with  fright ;  but  she  kept  her  eyes 
upon  the  small  round  head,  and  the  very  good- 
humoured  and  waggish  expression  of  the  face 
a  little  reassured  her. 

"  Don't  be  frightened,  most  beautiful  Hey- 
ho,"  said  the  good-natured  little  apparition. 

"I  wouldn't  if  I  could  help  it,"  stam- 
mered Hey-ho  ;  "  but  who  are  you?" 
24 


278  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

"  Why,"  replied  the  head,  "  I  am  just 
what  you  didn't  expect  to  meet  with,"  and 
it  laughed. 

"  He  laughs  like  fun,"  said  Hey-ho  to  her- 
self. 

"  I  -am  Fun,"  continued  the  apparition  ; 
''  and  very  much  at  your  service." 

"Who?"  asked  Hey-ho. 

"Fun,"  said  he;  "Fun,  Fun,  Fun,— no- 
body else  but  Fun ;"  and  he  looked  exces- 
sively funny. 

"And  why  came  you  bither?"  demanded 
Hey-ho,  who  began  to  gain  courage  from  the 
pleasing  manners  of  Fun,  and  to  enjoy  the 
joke  of  thus  unexpectedly  meeting  with  a 
companion. 

"  I  came  hither  to  see  the  beautiful  Hey- 
ho,"  replied  he:  "and,  if  it  were  in  my 
power,  somewhat  to  console  her.  If  she 
will.  Fun  shall  be  hers  for  ever  and  a  day." 

''But  how  came  you  hither?"  she  asked, 
her  fear  somewhat  returning  as  that  question 
occurred  to  her:  surely,  she  thought,  by 
some  supernatural  means. 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  279 

"  Why"  responded  Fun,  "  I  came  here, — 
I  got  in, — I  appeared, — that  is  to  say, — I 
have  a  certain  talisman — " 

And  here  Fun  hatched  up  a  long  story  of 
as  many  lies'^  as  there  are  between  Peking 
and  Canton.  There  is  no  occasion  that  we 
should  repeat  all  he  said,  or  attempt  to  im- 
pose upon  your  credulity,  as  he  did  upon 
Hey-ho's.  It  w^as  no  talisman  that  assisted 
him  into  the  jar  ;  we  will  explain  to  you  the 
whole  truth  of  the  matter. 

Hey-ho  being,  as  hath  been  said,  a  damsel 
extremely  fair  and  comely,  and  Fun  having 
once  seen  her  by  accident,  he  had  entertained 
from  that  time  a  strong  and  very  natural  de- 
sire to  have  her  to  wife.  How  to  obtain  her, 
however  was  rather  a  difficult  question.  He 
could  find  nothing  in  the  Book  of  Rites,  that 
would  justify  his  forcing  himself  upon  the 
acquaintance  of  her  father ;  and,  as  a  Chi- 
nese proverb  observes, "  if  you  cannot  get 
over  the  outer  wall,  you  will  not  get  over  the 
inner."      But  Fun  consoled  himself  with 

•  See  note,  page  56. 


280  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

another  Chinese  saying :  "He  that  would 
steal  fruit  does  not  borrow  the  gardener's 
ladder;"  and  he  set  his  brains  at  work  to 
devise  some  plan  whereby  he  might  possess 
himself  of  Hey-ho,  without  consulting  her 
father. 

When  the  Feast  of  Lanterns  drew  near,  it 
occurred  to  Fun  that  that  might  be  a  conve- 
nient as  well  as  propitious  time  for  effecting 
his  object ;  and  at  first  he  pondered  on  the 
practicability  of  enticing  away  Hey-ho,  when 
with  her  parents,  she  would  attend  the  ex- 
hibitions of  the  evening.  But  a  more  happy 
idea  afterwards  entered  his  mind;  and  he 
immediately  engaged  in  operations  for  the 
execution  of  this  project.  He  wrote  the  let- 
ter which  we  have  already  described  Hou- 
Nou  as  receiving ;  and  arraying  himself  as 
a  servant,  delivered  it  at  the  old  gentleman's 
door.  Whilst  the  domestic  into  whose  hands 
he  had  given  it  was  absent,  he  looked  round 
for  a  snug  place  in  which  he  might  hide;  and 
observing  the  large  jar,  and  considering  that 
it  was  not  likely  he  should  be  detected  in 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  281 

that,  with  some  little  difficulty  he  squeezed 
himself  in,  and  sliut  down  the  lid.  We  need 
not  speak  of  the  mortal  fright  he  was  in,  un- 
til he  was  "  safely  stowed,"  lest  any  one 
should  appear  in  the  hall;  but  things  hap- 
pened luckily,  and  his  concealment  was  com- 
plete. 

From  within  his  jar,  the  cover  of  which 
he  raised  a  little  occasionally,  as  well  to  lis- 
ten to  what  was  cromo;  forward  as  to  obtain 
air,  he  overheard  much  of  what  passed  be- 
tween Hou-Nou  and  Hey-ho,  in  the  neigh- 
bouring apartment.  He  was  delighted  at 
finding  that  every  thing  occurred  according 
to  his  anticipations ;  and  waited,  therefore, 
with  great  patience  and  fortitude  in  a  hiding- 
place  which  would  not  have  been  agreeable, 
certainly,  for  a  protracted  residence. 

Perhaps  it  may  occasion  surprise  that  in 
writing  to  Hou-Nou,  Fun  should  have  given 
his  own  name ;  that  he  should  have  directed 
suspicion  to  himself,  when  it  would  have 
been  so  easy  to  have  found  for  it  a  different 

channel.     But  Fun  was  fond  of  frolic,  and 

24* 


388  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

the  most  impudent  dog  in  all  the  Central 
Land.  He  would  have  considered  it  no 
sport  to  have  put  old  Hou-Nou  on  a  w^rong 
scent  altogether.  His  object  vi^as  to  set  him 
at  first  upon  a  right  one,  and  afterwards  baf- 
fle him  by  well-managed  doublings  and 
windings  ;  and  he  would  not  probably  have 
troubled  himself  to  get  married  at  all,  had  it 
not  been  for  the  compound  extract  of  sport 
he  expected  from  hunting  and  from  being 
hunted. 

"  And  how  is  it.  Thousand  Pieces  of  Gold," 
said  Fun,  "  that  you  are  not  abroad  this  night, 
when  all  other  houses  are  deserted  ? — that 
you  are  not  abroad,  outshining  the  lanterns 
of  the  moon?" 

"  My  parents,"  responded  Hey-ho, — and 
at  the  recollection  she  burst  again  into  tears 
— "  my  parents  would  not  allow  me  to  go 
forth.  My  father  locked  me  up  here,  and 
told  me  there  grew  a  bamboo  in  the  garden ; 
and  all  for  no  better  reason  than  because  I 
was  fond  of  fun." 

"  Cruel  parents  !  cruel  father  !"  exclaimed 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  283 

the  young  audacious ;  "  if  I  were  the  Thou- 
sand Pieces  of  Gold,  I  would  exert  me  some- 
how to  spite  them." 

"  And  what  could  poor  little  I  do  ?"  asked 
Hey-ho.     "  Oh,  poor  little  luckless  I !" 

"  I  could  talk  more  freely,"  said  the  young 
gentleman,  "  if  I  were  out  of  this  jar.  But 
here  I  am  wedged  in,-^rm  in  a  regular  case ! 
Jam  in  the  jar,  by  Jing-Go !"  and  Fun  strug- 
gled to  get  out. 

He  struggled  to  get  out,  but  in  vain.     We 
know  not  how  it  was — he  had  got  cramped, 
we   suppose,  by  his   position  ;   but,  like  the 
weasel  in  the  fable,  he  could  not  obtain  egress 
at  the  hole  by  which  he  had  entered.    Thus 
unfortunately  situated,  he  appealed  to  young 
Hey-ho   for  assistance ;   and  this,  after  some 
hesitation,  she  accorded.     By  dint  then  of 
much  struggling  upon  his  part,  and  of  an  en- 
ergetic handling  of  his  pigtail  on  hers,  after 
a  time  he  got  free  to  the  waist;  but  there  occur- 
red another  hitch,  which  all  their  endeavours 
failed  to  overcome,     Some  would  have  been 
immensely  annoyed ;  but  Fun  was  immensely 


284  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

amused.  At  last,  by  stamping  violently  he 
broke  out  the  bottom  of  the  jar,  and  thrusting 
his  legs  through,  regained  in  part  his  loco- 
motive power. 

It  will  not  be  necessary  to  detail  the  argu- 
ments by  which  he  overcame  the  scruples  of 
Hey-ho,  and  induced  her  assent  to  an  elope- 
ment with  him.  She  was  anxious  to  spite 
her  papa,  and  no  less  so  to  see  the  fireworks ; 
she  was  pleased  with  the  manners  of  Fun, 
and  was  fond  of  a  good  joke.  All  these  con- 
siderations, aided  by  the  young  man's  elo- 
quence, might  well  prevail  on  a  youthful  and 
inexperienced  girl.  So  Hey-ho  agreed  to  fly 
with  Fun;  and,  by  way  of  carrying  the  jest 
up  to  its  climax, — to  get  married. 

In  carrying  into  execution  this  rash  re- 
solve, it  was  necessary,  of  course,  to  guard 
against  her  being  recognised  by  any  in  the 
streets.  She  disguised  herself,  therefore,  as 
well  as  she  was  able,  and  covered  her  face 
with  a  thick  veil. 

Another  difficulty  now  presented  itself. 


THE  FEAST  OF  LA.NTERNS.  285 

They  were  locked  in! — how  were  they  to 
escape  ? 

The  house  was  of  two  stories;  and  the 
upper  windows  were  not  secured.  They 
went  up  stairs;  the  young  lady  assisting  the 
youth,  whose  jar  would  otherwise  have 
proved  a  sad  impediment  to  his  proceeding. 

But  for  the  inconvenient  armour  of  porce- 
lain in  which  he  was  arrayed,  Fun  could 
easily  have  leaped  down  from  the  casement; 
for  he  was  active  and  brave.  As  it  was, 
however,  he  was  again  dependent  upon 
the  lady's  assistance ;  and  exerting  all  her 
strength,  more  than  you  would  have  ima- 
gined could  be  in  her  slender  wrists,  she 
lowered  him  down  by  his  pig-tail.  When 
she  let  go,  he  had  yet  a  few  cubits  to  fall, 
and  this  perhaps  was  a  fortunate  circum- 
stance, as  the  porcelain  jar  was  thereby  shat- 
tered, and  he  walked  as  freely  as  ever.  Fun, 
however,  was  a  little  disappointed,  as  he  had 
enjoyed  the  idea  of  stalking  about  in  such  a 
quaint  disguise. 

Fun  being  safely  on  the  ground,  Hey-ho, 


286  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

with  the  courage  befitting  a  heroine,  leaped 
into  his  arms.  They  were  quite  unobserved ; 
for  that  part  of  the  city  was  wholly  deserted, 
the  people  having  gone  to  witness  a  very 
grand  display  of  fireworks  and  lanterns  in  a 
neighbouring  square. 

Towards  that  square  Fun  immediately 
conducted  his  prize,  and  a  very  few  turn- 
ings among  sonje  narrow  streets  and  pas- 
sages brought  them  thereunto.  They  met 
with  none  to  question  them  on  the  way;  for 
even  the  watch  had  taken  holiday,  deeming 
it  quite  unnecessary  to  keep  guard  in  empty 
streets.  Hey-ho,  no  doubt,  was  a  little 
frightened,  as  soon  as  she  had  taken  her  rash 
leap  from  the  window,  at  thinking  of  what 
she  had  done;  and  very  probably  wished 
herself  aofain  within  the  house :  but  as  the 
door  was  locked,  it  was  impossible  to  get 
back ;  and  Fun  used  every  argument  to  con- 
.  vince  her  of  the  propriety  of  their  proceeding, 
and  to  keep  up  her  spirits.  It  was  certainly 
a  novel  situation  for  one  who  before  had 
scarcely  ever  even  exchanged  words  with 


THE  FEA.ST  OF  LANTERNS,  287 

any  gentleman,  unless  related  to  herself;  but 
the  state  of  excitement  in  which  she  had 
been  all  day,  first  from  delight,  and  then 
from  disappointment  and  anger,  had  led  her 
on  to  do  that  which  in  other  circumstances 
she  would  have  looked  upon  as  most  heinous. 
But  what  had  the  greatest  effect  in  restoring 
the  courage  and  spirits  of  Hey-ho,  was  the 
lively  scene  that  unfolded  itself  before  her, 
as  with  her  conductor  she  approached  the 
square. 

This  was  bounded  on  three  sides  by 
houses;  but,  on  the  side  opposite  to  the  one 
where  they  had  entered,  was  terminated  by 
the  river,  in  that  place  broad,  though  shallow. 
The  streets  through  which  they  had  come 
lay  somewhat  higher  than  the  square  itself, 
and  a  flight  of  steps  led  down  thereinto;  so 
that,  before  they  descended,  they  had  a  good 
view  of  the  large  open  area,  and  also  of  the 
water  and  houses  beyond.  Immediately  be- 
fore them  was  a  dense  mass  of  people,  every 
individual  flourishing  a  lantern ;  festoons  of 
lanterns  were  suspended  above  them  upon 


288  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

poles,  and  likewise  between  the  houses ;  the 
stream  was  overspread  with  boats  of  all  sorts 
and  sizes,  the  decks,  the  masts,  and,  in  fact, 
every  part  covered  with  lamps  and  lanterns ; 
and   numberless    pagodas   and    other   high 
buildings  on  the  farther  side  of  the  river, 
some  near,  and  others  at  a  great  distance^ 
were  similarly  adorned  with  lights  innume- 
rable.    From  a  raised  platform  in  the  middle 
of  the  square,  as  well  as  from  many  remoter 
points,  a  girandola  of  rockets  was  frequently 
thrown  up;   and  in  the  intervals  a  display 
was  made  of  other  fireworks  of  most  inge- 
nious invention.     Luminous  globes  rose  high 
in  the  air,  and  burst  with  showers  of  coloured 
light,  from  among  which  soared  large  birds, 
and  winged  horses  and  dragons,  blue,  yellow, 
green  and  crimson  j  and  these  seemed  to  chase 
each  other,  and  again  to  spit  forth  fire  in  new 
forms.     Now  and  then  down  the  river  would 
float  a  huge  and  stately  serpent,  its  body 
drawn  up  in  many  graceful  bends — a  ser- 
pent, perhaps,  of  emerald  light,  with  eyes  of 
intense  red,~and  from  its  mouth  would  drop 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  289 

continual  balls  of  fire,  which,  falling  on  the 
river  assumed  the  form  of  little  luminous 
boats,  and  spread  far  and  wide  upon  the  sur- 
face. From  myriads  of  people  arose  con- 
stantly shouts  of  applause  and  laughter;  and 
when  these  for  a  moment  were  still,  the 
more  melodious  tones  of  musical  glasses  and 
other  instruments  seemed  to  supply  a  sort  of 
magical  harmony,  in  keeping  with  the  won- 
derful sights. 

Hey-ho  was  bewildered  and  delighted. 
She  watched  for  a  time  the  more  striking 
and  resplendent  fireworks,  and  was  dazzled 
and  confused  by  the  myriads  of  starry  lights 
that  studded  the  air  all  around,  that  sprinkled 
the  sky,  and  w^ere  reflected  from  the  water. 
After  a  little  she  began  to  examine  the  lan- 
terns and  other  luminous  devices  in  detail ; 
they  were  worth  examination,  for  their  inge- 
nuity was  great,  and  their  variety  surprising. 
Every  one  had  striven  to  outdo  his  neigh- 
bour in  providing  himself  with  a  lantern,  re- 
markable for  its  size,  or  for  its  colour,  or  its 

form,  or  for  the  designs  wherewith  it  was 
25 


290  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

embellished.  There  were  some  of  all  sizes, 
from  an  orange  to  a  watch-box;  of  all  shapes, 
round,  square,  polygonal,  vase-like,  like 
flowers,  like  trees,  like  animals,  like  men;  of 
all  colours,  with  inscriptions  and  paintings 
of  all  shades  of  colour,  and  ornamented  with 
devices  of  the  variety  of  which  could  be 
given  but  a  faint  idea:  the  current  of  air 
caused  by  the  flame  was  used  to  set  in  mo- 
tion small  figures  of  men,  birds,  and  butter- 
flies, junks,  windmills,  fish,  and  other  things 
and  creatures;  and  warriors  fought,  and 
horses  leaped,  and  mandarins  bowed,  and 
monkeys  swung  upon  cords. 

"He-he!"  said  Hey-ho,  "see  there!  that 
tumbler  standing  on  his  head — look !  look 
how  he  turns  about ! — and  there  is  a  manda- 
rin with  a  blue  body  and  a  yellow  face. 
Ski !  hi !  what  a  beautiful  firework ! — as  like 
a  peacock  as  two  betel  nuts  !  But,  ha !  he ! 
hey !  ho !  hee !  what  is  this  little  fellow  doing? 
just  look !  see  !  note  !  observe  !  mark ! — why 
he's  dancing  Djim-Kro !" 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  291 

(Djim-Kro  was  a  famous  tumbler,  who 
lived  in  the  days  of  Yu.) 

"  Do  but  behold  that  absurd  little  man," 
said  Fun,  pointing  in  another  direction, 
"  how  he  waddles  along,  with  a  lantern  twice 
as  large  as  himself  And  that  ugly  old  wo- 
man by  his  side  ;  hers  looks,  for  all  the  Ce- 
lestial Land,  like  a  gentleman's  petticoat." 

(A  gentleman's  petticoat  in  the  Celestial 
Land  corresponds  to  his trousers  in  this.) 

Hey-ho  looked  at  the  persons  to  whom  he 
pointed,  and  immediately  uttered  a  scream. 
The  cause  of  her  alarm  may  be  easily  di- 
vined. The  twain  were  no  other  than  her 
dreaded  papa  and  mamma.  She  well  nigh 
fainted  ;  but  was  supported  by  Fun,  who  re- 
minded her  that  her  disguise  was  such,  as 
if  she  would  but  command  her  fears,  must 
render  detection  impossible. 

Of  course.  Fun  immediately  conducted 
the  runaway  young  lady  to  a  part  of  the 
square  remote  from  that  in  which  they  had 
discovered  Hou-Nou.  No  "  of  course"  in 
the  case.     Fun  did  no  such  thing  :  he  ob- 


292  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

tained  from  Hey -ho  a  promise  that  she  would 
keep  up  her  courage,  and  he  immediately 
walked  with  her  up  to  the  old  gentleman, 
her  highly  respectable  papa. 
Hou-Nou  was  strutting  with  the  importance 
of  a  person  who  knew  that  he  was  burning 
his  own  oil ;  he  had  fastened  a  long  bamboo 
to  his  back  by  means  of  a  cord  round  his 
waist ;  and  to  the  end  of  this,  which  rose  two 
or  three  yards  above  his  head,  was  suspended 
his  enormous  lantern ;  his  wife  carried  hers 
in  the  same  manner,  as  did  thousands  of  other 
persons. 

Fun  approached,  and  having  made  six  or 
eight  very  polite  bows,  in  returning  which 
the  old  gentleman  nearly  shook  his  lantern 
off  the  end  of  the  bamboo,  our  audacious 
young  friend  demanded,  with  the  politest 
form  of  circumlocution,  whether  his  *'  vener- 
able,"* a  Chinese  term  of  respect  quite  un- 
connected with  the  "  Three  Balls,"  did  not 
rejoice  in  the  "  honourable  appellation"  of 
Hou-Nou. 

*Sec  note,  B. 


THE  FEAST  OF  LA-NTERNS.  293 

"  Hou-Nou,"  replied  Hou-Nou  with  the 
affected  humility  so  common  among  the  po- 
litest of  nations,  "  Hou-Nou  is  your  servant's 
very  ignoble  name." 

"  Methinks,"  said  Fun,  "  your  paltry  rat 
has  the  honour  of  addressing  that  very  illus- 
trious Hou-Nou,  who  lives  in  the  conspicu- 
ous corner  house  of  the  highly  magnificent 
lane,  called  the  Alley  of  Salted  Sturgeon?" 

"  Your  servitor,"  answered  Hou-Nou,  " 
dwells  in  the  place  you  mention,  lyiay  he 
ask  your  most  honourable  title?" 

"  The  continually-to-be-sneezed-at  name  of 
your  ever-ought-to-be-beaten  dog,"  said  Fun, 
"  is  Fan-Si.  Your  dog  just  now  slunk  along 
by  your  most  noble  dwelling,  and  had  the 
little  deserved  honour  of  beholding  your  pile- 
of-volumes  son,  and  your  string-of-rubies 
daughter,  at  the  window.  Your  dog  won- 
dered greatly  that  they  came  not  hither  to 
make  the  lamps  burn  more  brightly." 

"  Of  a  truth,"  responded  Hou-Nou,  "  had 

more  of  my  oil  been  used,  the  illumination 

would  have  been  more  lunjinous.     But  dog 
25* 


294  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

of  a  son  have  I  none,  though  I  have  a  bam- 
booable  cat  of  a  daughter. 

"  It  was  then  perhaps  your  full-of-desert 
daughter's  most  profoundly-to-be-reverenced 
husband?" 

"  There  was  no  one,"  replied  Hou-Nou, 
'^  there  was  no  man  whatever  in  my  house: 
my  daughter  is  not  married.  Surely  your 
exemplary  eyes  must  have  made  some  mis- 
take."  But  Hou-Nou  was  startled  somewhat. 

"Indeed!"  cried  Fun:  "  toad  as  I  am,  I 
am  quite  certain  that  I  beheld  with  my  one- 
bigger- than-the-other  eyes,  two  persons,  a 
gentleman  and  a  lady,  at  the  window  of  your 
dwelling." 

"  Though  I  will  by  no  means  deny  it,"  an- 
swered Hou-Nou,  (he  would  not  be  rude  to 
the  stranger,  and  therefore  responded  in  such 
a  form,)  "yet  I  know  not  how  it  may  be 
possible,  for  I  have  brought  with  me  the  key 
of  the  house.  I  pray  you,  tell  me,"  he  con- 
tinued, "  who  might  this  have  been  ?" 

"  Nay,"  said  Fun,  "  I  know  not ;  I  fear  I 
have  been  impertinent  to  speak  so  much." 


THE  FEA.ST  OF  LANTERNS.  295 

"  No,"  answered  the  old  man,  "  I  thank 
you  greatly.  My  ought-to-be-squeezed-in-a 
vice  daughter — But  imagine  for  me,  who 
could  this  person  have  been?" 

"  Very  reverentially  speaking,  is  there  not 
any  whom  she  loves  ?" 

"  And  if  there  should  be,  how  could  he 
get  through  the  key-hole  ^" 

"  Had  not  the  door  been  open  in  the 
day?" 

"  But  if  he  had  come  in  then,  where  should 
he  have  concealed  himself?" 

"  Oh,  some  will  hide  themselves  in  very 
small  corners.  I  know  a  youth,  a  certain 
Fun,  who  could  hide  himself  in  a  good-sized 
porcelain  pot." 

"Fun?  Fun? — Why  that's  the  very  mud- 
dy pool  of  a  youth.  I  had  a  letter  in  the 
morning  which  informed  me  so  much." 

"  A  letter  ? — from  whom  ?" — When  con- 
versation grows  very  serious,  forms  and  com- 
pliments are  a  good  deal  dispensed  with,  even 
in  China. 

"  '  Who  the  black  dragon  can  this  be  from  V 


296  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

that  was  the  motto.  I  don't  know  from  whom 
it  came." 

"  Why  that,"  said  Fun,  "  is  the  very  motto 
of  Fun's  own  seal.  I  am  well  acquainted 
with  Fun;  he  and  I  are  inseparable :  and  from 
what  I  know  of  him,  I.  would  wager  my  brain 
to  a  pint  of  oil,  that  he  brought  you  the  letter 
himself,  and  then  hid  in  some  corner  or  jar." 

"  Oh,  it  is  too  true, — is  is  too  true !"  cried 
Hou-Nou.  "  Come  with  me,  Nae-Nae.  I 
will  boil  my  daughter  in  oil." 

"  Nay,  Nay,"  said  Nae-Nae,  believing  him 
to  be  serious, — "  Boil  only  her  hands  there- 
in." 

I.  "  Oh,  wicked  snake  of  a  daughter!"  cried 
Hou-Nou,  slapping  his  hands  together  with 
great  violence.  Bang  went  in  the  sides  of 
his  lantern,  and  he  was  fain  to  put  out  the 
light. 

"Oh,  little  wolf  of  a  daughter!"  echoed  Nae- 
Nae  :  and  a  similar  action  was  attended  by  a 
similar  result. 

Hou-Nou  and  his  wife  hurried  back  to 
their  domocile,  and  Fun,  with  their  daugh- 


THE  FEAST  OF  L4NTERNS.  297 

ter,  followed.  When  they  reached  it  they 
observed  that  a  window  was  open  above ;  but 
they  saw  no  person,  and  no  light. 

"  Alas !  alas  "  cried  the  parents,  "  our  wick- 
ed daughter  has  fled.  She  has  gone  away 
with  accursed  Fun.  We  shall  see  her  no 
more."  Hou-Nou  opened  the  door,  and  Nae- 
Nae  entered.  Hou-Nou  had  not  withdrawn 
the  key,  when  Fun  drew  the  portal  suddenly 
together  and  locked  it  on  the  outside ;  in  doing 
so  he  dexterously  contrived  to  lift  up  at  the 
same  moment  the  old  gentleman's  queue, 
which  was  caught  in  the  door  as  it  shut. 
Hou-Nou  was  fast  by  his  pigtail.  His  wife 
sought  in  vain  for  the  means  of  striking  a 
light  5  the  flints  and  steel  were  not  in  their 
places,  and  she  broke  her  shins  in  the  search. 
You  may  imagine  the  state  of  wrath  and  in- 
dignation in  which  Hou-Nou  and  his  wife 
passed  the  night. 

"Ho,"  said  Fun  ere  he  left  the  door,  "I 
am  the  particular  friend  of  Fun, — he  begged 
me  to  serve  him  this  good  turn,  and  the  wine 
which  I  drank  with  him  half  made  me  merry." 


298  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

"  Fun,"  screamed  Hou-Nou,  "  shall  be 
pounded  in  a  mortar  for  this,  and  the  friend 
of  Fun  shall  be  tied  in  a  sack  of  snakes." 

"Nay,"  answered  Nae-Nae,  "they  shall 
laugh  the  wrong  side  of  their  noses.  But, 
you  foolish  old  blockhead,"  said  she,  "  to  be 
duped  after  this  fashion;"  and  she  felt  in  the 
dark  for  Hou-Nou' s  ear,  which  she  twisted 
severely  when  she  found  it. 

From  the  time  the  young  gentleman  first 
accosted  the  old  one,  poor  Hey-ho,  who  was 
in  a  mortal  fright,  kept  as  much  out  of  view 
as  possible.  Several  times  she  was  on  the 
point  of  confessing  her  fault  and  throwing 
herself  upon  the  mercy  of  her  father ;  but  she 
could  not  gain  courage  to  do  so ;  and  when 
the  door  was  closed,  Fun  hurried  her  away 
as  fast  as  possible.  He  promised  to  effect  a 
reconciliation  with  her  parents,  if  she  would 
become  his  wife ;  and  having  placed  her  in  a 
sedan,  he  took  her  to  his  house,  where  many 
of  his  friends,  whom  he  had  invited  to  attend 
his  wedding  on  the  propitious  evening  of  the 
Feast  of  Lanterns,  had  been  for  some  time 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  299 

expecting  them.     At  the  door  they  were  met 
by  some  matrons,  his  relatives,  who  assisted 
Hey-ho  out  of  her  sedan,  and  lifted  her  over 
the  pan  of  charcoal  placed  at  the  door,  agree- 
ably to  the  marriage  custom  in  the  Celestial 
dominions.     They  conducted  her  then  to  a 
chamber,  and  bound  up  her  hair  according 
to  the  manner  in  which  it  is  worn  by  mar- 
ried women ;  after  which  she  was  led  by  a 
train  of  young  ladies  into  the  great  hall, 
where  she  was  encouraged  to  invite  the  guests 
to  partake  of  the  prepared  betel-nut.     Some 
other  forms  were  gone  through.     The  most 
extravagant  encomiums  were  passed  upon  her 
beauty :  she  was  compared  to  the  sun,  the 
moon,  and  stars, — to  gold  and  silver, — to  gold 
and  silver   fish, — to   gold  and  silver  phea- 
sants,—  to  gems,  to  flowers,  to  a  dove,  to  an 
antelope,  to  the  tea-plant,  to  the  graceful  reed, 
to  lanterns  and  fireworks, — to  silkworms,— 
to  rice.     The  bridegroom,  too,  was  praised  as 
well  as  congratulated;  they  made  him  drink 
wine;   presents  were  given   to  both;   they 
wished  them  honours,  long  life,  and  a  quiver 


300  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

full  of  sons.     And  He  j-ho  was  the  wife  of 
Fun. 

The  next  morning  Fun  took  his  beautiful 
bride  to  call  upon  her  father.  She  was  in 
disguise  as  before ;  and  when  they  reached 
the  house  of  Hou-Nou,  Fun  at  first  entered 
alone,  leaving  her  in  her  sedan.  Fun  present- 
ed himself  with  his  wonted  audacity;  but 
the  fury  of  Hou-Nou  was  so  great  at  seeing, 
as  he  supposed,  the  friend  and  colleague  of 
Fun, — a  person  towards  whom  he  had  now 
conceived  a  greater  hatred  than  toward  Fun 
himself, — that  our  hero  was  almost  fright- 
ened away,  without  entering  into  any  expla- 
nation. He,  however,  summoned  up  forti- 
4;ude,  and  kept  bowing  and  bending  with  great 
humility,  whilst  a  storm  of  abuse  was  poured 
upon  him,  not  from  Hou-Nou  only,  but  also 
from  his  wife  Nae-Nae;  and  when  from  mere 
fatigue  of  these  indignant  parties,  the  tem- 
pest a  little  relaxed,  he  began  in  the  most 
conciliatory  tones  to  beg  pardon  for  the  un- 
lucky accident  of  the  preceding  evening. 

"  Son  of  a  rotten  onion  !"  cried  Hou-Nou; 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  301 

"  look  at  my  tail !  I  could  only  liberate  my 
head  by  the  loss  of  my  tail.  My  domestics 
were  obliged  to  enter  my  house  by  placing  a 
ladder  to  tlie  window." 

"  Your  so-much-dog's-meat  of  a  Fan-Si," 
responded  the  youth,  "  hurried  hither  this 
morning,  as  soon  as  he  remembered  his  fault, 
to  unlock  your  majestic  door." 

"  Wherefore  did  thy  swine-feeding  hand 
turn  the  key  in  it  last  night?"  roared  Hou-Nou 

"  Of  a  truth  your  scrag-end-of-less-than-no- 
thing  was  beside  himself  with  wine,"  humbly 
ejaculated  Fun;  "  but  now,  being  of  clearer 
sense,  the  ball  of  evil  which  he  threw  strikes 
back  upon  his  own  nose  ;  and  that  he  may 
find  a  salve  for  the  soreness  it  occasions,  he 
has  brought  hither  a  string  of  pearls,  which 
he  solicits  your  generous  condescension  to 
accept." 

"Be  they  real  pearls?"  said  Hou-Nou,  a 
little  mollified,  as  he  stretched  out  his  hand 
to  receive  them. 

"  Nay,  nay,"  interrupted  Nae-Nae,  "  I  fear 

me  they  be  not  real." 
26 


302  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

"  They  be  real  pearls,"  said  Hou-Nou.  "  I 
forgive  you  your  floutings  for  this :  but  how 
about  the  loss  of  my  tail  ?" 

"  Your  most  reverence-commanding  tail 
will  grow  again,"  replied  Fun ;  "  and  mean 
while  I  have  other  pearls,  of  which,  with  hu- 
mility, I  will  entreat  your  greatly-to-be-knelt- 
for  acceptance." 

"It  is  enough,"  said  the  old  man.  "  Let 
this  bond  of  pearls  bind  us  to  friendship." 

"  And  may  it  never  be  worn  out,"  said  Fun. 

"Or  if  it  should,"  answered  Hou-Nou, 
"  may  it  be  renewed." 

Having  so  far  succeeded,  Fun  intimated 
to  the  old  gentleman  that' he  had  another  fa- 
vour to  request ;  but  begged,  before  he  men- 
tioned it,  to  be  allov/ed  to  introduce  a  lady 
who  was  waiting  for  him  below  in  her  sedan, 
and  who  he  was  afraid  would  feel  fatigued. 
Hou-Nou  bowed  to  this  with  all  possible  Chi- 
nese politeness,  and  was  solicitious  to  know 
who  the  more  bright-than-ten-thousand-stars 
lady  might  be. 

"  To  tell  you  the  truth,"  answered  Fun, 
('  this  ladv  is  a  bunch  of  lilies  whom  I  but 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS.  303 

yesterday  took  to  wife.  She  is  the  daughter 
of  a  highly  respectable  old  gentleman,  for 
whom  I  entertain  a  very  cordial  estee.ii." 

He  conducted  the  lady  into  the  room.  She 
was  still  closely  veiled.  Fourteen  minutes 
elapsed  in  the  usual  bows  and  compliments. 
Fun  then  announced  the  farther  favour  he 
had  to  request; — it  was  a  pardon  to  his  friend 
Fun,  and  to  Fun's  wife,  Hou-Nou's  daugh- 
ter. 

"Alas!"  cried  Hou-Nou,  "  my  poor  little 
daughter  !  I  shall  never  see  her  more." 

"  If  you  will  graciously  accord  pardon  to 
both,"  said  Fun,  "I  will  promise  you  shall 
see  her  this  day." 

"  Wicked  Fun,"  said  the  father,  "  shall  be 
strangled,  beheaded,  poisoned,  flayed,  and  cut 
in  nine  millions  of  pieces." 

"  Jf  your  worshipful  stomach,"  responded 
the  youth, — Chinese  philosophers  hold  that 
the  stomach  is  the  seat  of  reason,* — "  if  your 
worshipful  stomach  be  so  ill-minded  towards 
them,  I  fear  you  will  never  find  either  Fun  or 
your  daughter.     If  you  should,   Fun,  you 

•  Chinese  Miscellany. 


304  THE  PORCELAIN  TOWER. 

may  be  sure,  will  bribe  the  mandarins  higher 
for  his  safety  than  you  will  do  to  get  him 
punished." 

''Alas!"  exclaimed  Hou-Nou,  "if  I  may 
get  back  my  dear  daughter  whom,  however,  1 
will  well  bamboo,  I  will  forgive  wicked  Fun." 

"  You  must  freely  pardon  your  daughter, 
also,  or  you  will  see  her  no  more,"  responded 
the  youth. 

"  I  will  do  all  things  so  she  shall  not  be  lost 
to  me  wholly,"  said  the  old  man. 

"  But  your  virtuous  and  venerable  hand 
will  furnish  me  with  a  promise  in  writing  ?" 
asked  Fun. 

"  Any  thing — any  thing  at  all !"  replied 
Hou-Nou. 

So  down  they  sat  and  committed  the  pro- 
mise to  paper.  It  received  the  old  gentle- 
man's signature.  Fun  folded  it  and  put  it 
in  his  vest. 

"  Most-reverentially-to-be-bowed-before, 
sir,  I  am  Fun,"  said  Fun. 

And  Fun  bowed  lowly  and  twiddled  his 
queue. 

"  Most- on-my- knees- to-be-honoured,    and 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS. 


305 


more-than-my-life-to- be -loved  parents,  I  am 
Hey-ho,"  said  Hey-ho. 

And,  bending  reverentially,  Hey-ho  cast 
back  her  veil. 

The  old  man  raised  his  staff. — The  young 
one  drew  out  the  bond. — The  youthful  pair 
fell  on  their  knees,  and  the  aged  pair  em- 
braced them  both. 

So  join  with  us  now,  such  as  have  honest 
hearts,  and  let  us  drink  long  life  to  Fun  and 
all  his  family. 

Fo  SAVE  THE  EMPEROR  ! 


26* 


NOTES. 


We  have  adjudged  it  expedient  to  append  a  few  notes 
to  the  foregoing  stories.  Fully  to  illustrate  ail  the  usages 
and  things  referred  to  in  the  narratives,  would  swell  the 
commentary  to  a  bulk  exceeding  that  of  the  text. 


HO-FI  OF  THE  YELLOW  GIRDLE. 

Note  A,  p.  14. 

Tradescant  Lay,  the  author  of  a  highly  interesting 
volume  called  "  China  As  It  Is,"  has  given  no  very  en- 
chanting picture  of  the  feet  of  Chinese  ladies.  From  his 
connexion  with  the  British  Medical  Board  at  Canton,  he 
has  had  opportunities  of  seeing  them  without  the  cover- 
ing; and  he  declares  that  the  "  golden  lilies  "  would  never 
have  obtained  the  admiration  they  now  excite  among  the 
men  of  China,  were  they  not  always  concealed  with  Ma- 
sonic secrecy. 


308  NOTES. 

Note  B,  p.  17.  &  261. 

The  College  of  Hanlan  is  the  University  of  the  Chi, 
nese  empire:  the  buildings  devoted  to  it  form  part  of  the 
imperial  residence  at  Peking.  None  are  admitted  as  its 
members  but  those  who  have  obtained  the  highest  ho- 
nours at  the  great  provincial  schools  throughout  the  king- 
dom, and  thus  it  may  be  considered  as  containing  the 
very  cream  of  Chinese  wit  and  learning.  A  grand  com- 
memoration is  held  triennially;  and  those  who  distinguish 
themselves  in  its  examinations  are  appointed  to  fill  some 
of  the  highest  offices  of  the  state. 

Note  C,  p.  36. 

''  The  Chinese  seldom  select,  for  burial  places,  situa- 
tions capable  of  agricultural  use  and  improvement;  and 
inter  their  deceased  friep,ds  on  tlie  hill-side,  or  under  the 
craggy  precipice;  where  little  else  could  be  made  of  the 
soil. 


"  At  the  great  island  of  Choo-san,  scores  of  coffins  were 
observed  under  a  precipice,  scattered  about  in  confusion, 
some  fresh  and  others  in  a  state  of  decay,  all  denied  the 
right  of  sepulture  from  the  crying  necessity  of  a  want  of 
room." — Medhurst's  State  and  Prospects  of  China, 
p.  31. 


NOTES.  309 

Note  D,  p.  37. 

"  The  Orphan  of  the  House  of  Chao." — This  tragedy 
was,  many  years  ago,  translated  into  French,  and  from  the 
French  version  into  English.  It  formed  the  ground-work 
of  Voltaire's  '*  Orphelin  de  la  Chine."  Such  unusual 
stratagems  as  that  mentioned  in  the  text  abound  in  this 
curious  specimen  of  Chinese  dramatic  art. 


Note  E,  p.  39. 

"  There  is  a  species  of  white-necked  crow,  for  which 
they  have  a  high  veneration."  A  gentlemap,  in  the  late 
embassy,  gave  great  offence  by  shooting  one  of  these 
birds.  The  respect  paid  to  them  appears  to  have  arisen 
"  from  their  having  once  performed  some  essential  public 
service;  just  as  geese  are  said  to  have  saved  the  Roman 
Capitol." — Davis's  Chinese,  p.  241. 


310  NOTES. 


KUBLAI  KHAN. 

Note  F,  p.  65. 

"  With  foong-hangs  rare 
Of  jewels  and  gold — " 

"  The  Chinese  women  sometimes  wear  an  ornament 
representing  the  foong-hang,  or  Chinese  phoenix,  com- 
posed of  gold  and  jewels,  the  wings  hovering,  and  the 
beak  of  the  bird  hanging  over  the  forehead,  on  an  elastic 
spring." — Davis's  CJiinese,  chap.  x. 

Note  G,  p.  68. 

"  Tied  by  their  Pigtails." 

The  fashion  of  shaving  the  head  and  leaving  only  one 
long  lock  at  the  crown,  was  originally  a  Tartar  practice, 
and  was  only  adopted  by  the  Chinese,  upon  compulsion, 
at  the  beginning  of  their  reigning  dynasty.  On  this,  as 
on  some  other  points,  the  ingenious  Klang  has  not  always 
been  careful,  nor  (as  it  would  seem)  desirous,  to  avoid 
anachronism.  Indeed  the  same  might  be  observed  of 
several  of  the  writers  of  whom  we  have  given  specimens 


NOTES.  311 

in  this  collection;  and  it  may,  perhaps,  be  fairly  inferred 
from  this  that  the  organ  of  time  is  not,  in  general,  strongly 
developed  among  the  Chinese. 


Note  H,  p.  69. 
"  Slung  over  their  shoulders  thus  tied  by  their  queues — " 

A  very  interesting  narrative  has  been  published  by  a 
person  named  Glasspoole,  who  was  an  officer  on  board 
an  English  merchant  vessel,  of  his  captivity  and  adven- 
tures among  the  Ladrone  pirates,  on  the  south  coast  of 
China.  He  attended  them  sometimes  in  their  raids  upon 
the  sea-coast  towns  and  villages,  and  on  one  occasion, 
when  the  pirate  captain  had  offered  a  reward  for  each 
head  of  a  Chinese,  he  mentions  having  seen  a  Ladrone 
with  his  sword  drawn  and  dripping  with  blood,  engaged 
in  pursuit  of  a  villager,  whilst  the  heads  of  two  whom  he 
had  just  slaughtered  were  suspended  on  either  side  his 
neck,  their  pigtails  being  knotted  together. 

Note  I,  p.  80. 

The  description  in  the  text  of  the  military  heroes  of 
China  closely  resembles  those  given  by  Tradescant  Lay, 
and  others  of  our  own  writers. 


312 


NOTES. 


In  Alexander's  "  Picturesque  Represenlations  of  the 
Dress  and  Manners  of  the  Chinese,"  the  following  obser- 
vations are  appended  to  a  plate  representing  a  soldier  of 
infantry. 

"  The  annexed  figure,  either  from  the  striped  dress,  or 
the  furious-looking  head  painted  on  the  shield,  has  been 
called  a  tiger  of  war;  but  he  is  not  so  fierce  as  he  appears 
to  be,  or  as  the  name  would  imply;  indeed,  the  Chinese 
admit  tliat  the  monstrous  face  on  the  basket-work  shield 
is  intended  to  frighten  the  enemy,  and  make  him  run 
away;  like  another  Gorgon's  head,  to  petrify  those  who 
look  upon  it.  This  corps  of  infantry,  in  its  exercise 
assumes  all  kinds  of  whimsical  attitudes,  jumping  about 
and  tumbling  over  each  other,  like  so  many  mountebanks." 
The  writer  adds  a  truism;  "Indeed  the  whole  of  the 
Chinese  military  tactics  are  as  absurd  as  they  are  ridi- 
culous." 


NOTES.  313 


HYSON  AND  BOHEA. 

Note  K,  p.  109. 

" The  bird's-nest  soup  of  life — " 

It  need  scarcely  be  mentioned  that  bird's-nest  soup  is 
one  of  the  delicacies  most  in  esteem  among  the  epicures 
of  the  Flowery  Land.  The  nests  used  in  its  composition 
are  those  of  the  Java  swallow,  and  are  said  to  be  formed 
of  a  gelatinous  matter  obtained  from  insects.  These  nests 
constitute  one  of  the  government  monopolies,  and,  the 
importation  being  large,  form  a  cousiderable  source  of 
revenue. 

Note  L,  p.  109. 
*' That  gloomy  night  no  bat  would  flit. 


But  crows  around  flew  late  and  oft  alit— " 

In  China,  bats  are  considered  creatures  of  good  omen; 
but  crows  (with  the  exception  of  that  white-necked  spe- 
cies of  which  mention  is  made  in  the  story  of  *'  Ho-Fi  ") 
are  regarded  as  birds  of  very  evil  augury. 
27 


314  NOTES. 

Note  M,  p.  112. 

" As  a  thresher  whirls  round  in  a  trice 

The  ponderous  flail,  and  threshes  out  the  rice — " 

"  The  grain  (rice)  has  been  said  to  be  trodden  out 
sometimes  by  cattle;  but  the  most  usual  implement  for 
threshing  is  the  common  European  flail." — Davis's  Chi- 
nese, chap.  xxi. 

NoTK  N,  p.  113. 
"  Though  parted  here,  we  soon  may  meet  above." 

"  It  is  specifically  urged  against  the  doctrines  of  Fo  by 
the  Confucians,  that  they  unfit  men  for  the  business  and 
duties  of  life  by  fixing  their  speculations  so  entirely  on 
another  state  of  existence,  as  to  lead  some  fanatics  to 
hang  or  drown  themselves,  in  order  to  anticipate  futurity  ; 
nay,  two  persons  have  been  known  to  commit  suicide 
together,  with  a  view  to  becoming  man  and  wife  in 
the  next  workV^ — Davis's  Chinese,  chap.  xiv. 


NOTES.  3l;5 


THE  PORCELAIN  BATH. 

Note  0,  p.  122. 

"  The  bottle-gourd,  a  curious  species  of  tlie  genus 
cucurbitus,  closely  resembling  a  bottle,  is  represented  in 
ornaments  as  an  emblem  of  longevity." — Davis's  Chinese. 
"  This  was  not,  however,  the  species  of  gourd  that  the 
Emperor  resembled  in  his  form.  Much  superstitious 
regard  is  paid  to  the  peach-tree.  At  a  particular  season, 
sprigs  of  this  plant  are  placed  at  door-ways  to  avert  mis- 
fortunes. The  ky-lin  is  a  fabulous  animal,  of  which 
carved  representations  are  often  worn  about  the  person 
as  a  charm.  It  is  said  to  have  appeared  at  the  birth  of 
Confucius." — Ibid. 

Note  P,  p.  131. 

"  Though  there  are  some  Chinese  words  which  appear 
to  be  dissylabic,  and  are  written  with  a  diaereses,  as  keen, 
teen,  &c,,  yet  they  are  as  really  monosyllabic,  and 
sounded  as  much  together  as  our  words,  '  beer,'  and 
'  fear.'  " — Medhurst's  State  and  Prospects  of  China. 


316  NOTES. 


Note  Q,  p.  136. 

"  When  a  new  Emperor  accedes  to  the  throne,  it  is 
said  that  very  respectable  persons  of  the  country  take 
their  daughters  to  the  palace  for  his  choice  ;  and  the 
families  of  such  as  are  accepted  think  themselves  highly 
honoured."  Staunton,  from  whom  the  above  is  quoted, 
has  not  mentioned,  what  we  have  discovered,  from  the 
papers  of  Poo-Loo,  to  be  the  fact,  that  from  among  those 
tlius  offered  as  hand-maidens,  one,  more  beautiful  or 
more  fortunate  than  the  rest,  is  sometimes  elected  by  the 
sovereign  as  his  future  Empress, 

Note  S,  p.  145. 

"  The  general  proneness  of  the  Chinese  to  superstitious 
practices  could  not  be  more  completely  proved  than  by  an 
account  of  the  charms,  talismans,  and  felicitous  appen- 
dages hung  up  in  houses,  or  worn  about  the  person, 
specimens  of  which  were  sent  home  a  short  time  since  to 
the  Royal  Asiatic  Society,  by  Mr.  J.  Morrison.  Among 
the  principal  are  '  money-swords,'  consisting  of  a  number 
of  ancient  copper  coins,  each  with  a  square  hole  in  the 
middle,  fastened  together  over  a  piece  of  iron,  shaped 
like  a  sword  with  a  cross  hilt." — See  Davis's  Chinese, 
chap.  XV.,  where  will  be  found  a  farther  account  of 
Chinese  spells  and  talismans. 


NOTES.  317 


Note  S,  p.  151. 

"  The  manufacture  of  porcelain  commenced  wiili  the 
Tang  dynasty,  A.  D.  630,  .nd  the  first  furnace  on  record 
is  that  at  Chang-nan,  in  the  province  of  Kiang-si,  from 
whence  a  tribute  of  porcelain  was  sent  to  the  court  of 
Han  Kaoulsoo,  and  called  '  imitation  gem  ware.'  " — 
Medhurst's  Slate  and  Prospects  of  China,  p.  115. 

"  The  famous  furnaces  of  King-te-chin,  just  to  the 
eastward  of  the  Poyang  lake,  were  not  established  until 
about  A.  D.  1000." Davis,  Chinese  chap,  xviii. 


Note  T,  p.  162. 

From  a  comparison  of  the  following  passage  from 
"  Davis's  Chinese"  with  the  story  of  Poo-Loo,  it  will  be 
seen  that  the  French  writer,  Dentrecolles,  has  given  a 
pretty  correct  account  of  the  origin  of  the  god  of  the  fur- 
naces ;  but  he  has  omitted  the  name  of  the  deified  youth, 
and  has  no  mention  of  the  Empress. 

"  This  god,  according  to  Dentrecolles,  owed  his  origin 
to  the  difficulties  encountered  by  the  workmen  in  exe- 
cuting some  orders  from  Peking,  on  account  of  the  Em- 
peror. Several  models  were  sent  from  thence,  of  a  shape 
and  size  which  defied  all  the  efforts  of  the  people  to 
imitate  them.         »         *        *        Rewards  and  punish- 

27* 


318  NOTES. 

ments  were  held  out  to  those  employed,  but  all  in  vain ; 
when  one  of  the  workmen,  reduced  to  despair  by  the 
result  of  his  unavailing  efforts,  threw  himself  into  the  red- 
hot  furnace,  and  was  instantly  consumed.  The  story 
says  that  the  specimens  then  baking  came  out  perfectly 
fine  and  conformable  to  the  models,  and  from  that  time 
the  unfortunate  victim  passed  for  a  divinity,  becoming  the 
god  of  the  furnaces." — Davis's  Chinese,  chap,  xviii. 


HWANG-TE. 

Note  U,  p.  184. 

"  From  the  earliest  antiquity  the  Emperor  has  set  an 
example  of  industry  to  his  people,  by  personally  and 
publicly  holding  the  plough  once  a  year,  whilst  the 
Empress  does  the  same  with  regard  to  the  loom." — 
Medhurst's  Slfite  and  Prospects  of  China,  p,  32. 


NOTES.  319 


MARRIAGE  IN  A  MASK. 
Note  V,  p.  135. 

"  In  China  the  luxury  of  shampooing  is  enjoyed  by 
all  ranks  of  men ,  it  consists  of  pulling  the  joints  until 
they  crack,  and  of  thumping  the  muscles  until  they  are 
sore.  It  is  generally  an  operation  performed  by  the  bar- 
bers, who  at  the  same  time  cleanse  the  ears,  tickle  the 
nose,  and  play  a  thousand  tricks  to  please  and  amuse  their 
customers,  to  whom,  and  the  surrounding  audience,  they 
tell  their  gossiping  stories." — Alexander's  Picturesque 
Representations  of  the  Chinese. 

Note  W,  p.  136. 

"  Every  substance  likely  to  answer  the  end  is  anxiously 
collected,  and  carefully  disposed,  so  as  to  provide  for 
future  exigencies ;  such  as  decayed  animal  and  vegetable 
matter,  the  sweeping  of  streets,  the  mud  of  canals,  burnt 
bones,  lime,  and,  what  is  not  a  little  singular,  the  short 
stumpy  human  hair,  shaven  from  millions  of  heads,  every 
ten  days,  is  industriously  gathered  up,  and  sold  for  manure 
throughout  the  empire." — Medhurst's  State  and  Pros- 
pects of  China,  p.  34. 


320  NOTES. 


Note  X,  p.  200. 

Yang  and  Yin  are  terms  in  the  Chinese  system  of 
physiology,  applied  reciprocally  to  heat  and  cold,  to 
energy  and  inertion,  and  generally  to  the  active  and  the 
passive  principles,  whether  in  the  constitution  of  man, 
or  of  external  nature  :  and  upon  their  proper  adjustment 
depend  health  in  the  former,  and  stability  with  progres- 
sion in  the  operations  of  the  latter- 

Note  Y,  p.  212. 

•'  And  ducks  are  whistled  home  to  roost — " 

Immense  numbers  of  ducks  are  reared  by  that  part  of 
the  Chinese  population  who  spend  their  lives  in  boats 
upon  the  rivers;  and  these  birds,  salted  and  dried,  form 
one  of  the  chief  articles  of  diet  in  the  Celestial  Land. 
They  are  kept  in  large  cages,  or  crates  ;  from  which  in 
the  morning  they  are  sent  forth  to  seek  food  upon  the 
river  banks:  a  whistle  from  their  keeper  brings  them 
back  in  the  evening ;  and,  as,  according  to  Tradescant 
Lay,  the  last  to  return  always  receives  a  flogging  for  his 
tardiness,  their  hurry  to  get  back  to  the  boats,  when  they 
hear  the  accustomed  call,  is  in  no  small  degree  amusing. 

Note  Z,  see  Note  B,  p.  17. 


NOTES.  321 


THE  STUDENT  OF  HANLAN. 

Note  A,  p.  242. 

" A  similar  spirit  to  Fo — " 

"  One  of  the  favourite  doctrines  of  Buddlia  (or  Fo)  is, 
that  all  things  originated  in  nothing,  and  will  revert  to 
nothing.  Hence  annihilation  is  the  summit  of  bliss  ;  and 
nintpa  nirvana,  or  nonentity,  the  grand  and  ultimate 
anticipation  of  all  contemplation  and  abstractedness  of 
mind,  with  a  gradual  obliteration  of  all  sense  and  feeling, 
are  considered  the  nearest  approaches  to  bliss  obtainable 
on  earth ;  and  the  devotees  of  this  system  aim  and  affect 
to  have  no  joys  or  sorrows,  hopes  or  fears,  sense  or 
emotion,  either  of  body  or  mind;  living  without  looking, 
speaking,  smelling,  or  feeling;  yea,  without  eating,  and 
without  breathing,  until  they  approach  to  that  enviable 
state  of  perfection,  annihilation." — Medhurst's  State 
and  Prospects  of  China,  p.  215. 

For  a  collection  of  evidence  as  to  the  horrors  of  opium- 
smoking.  See  "  The  Iniquities  of  the  Opium  Trade  with 
China,"  by  the  Rev.  S.  A.  Thelwall. 


322  NOTES. 


THE  FEAST  OF  LANTERNS. 

Note  B,  p.  292. 

"  '  Venerable  uncle,' — '  honourable  brother,' — '  virtu- 
ous companion,' — '  excellent  sir,'  are  used  in  addressing 
a  stranger,  instead  of  the  pronoun  you:  and  the  worth- 
less fellow,' — '  the  late  born,' — '  the  unworthy  disciple,' 
instead  of  /,  are  terms  of  common  occurrence.  '  What 
is  your  noble  patronymic  V  is  the  first  question;  to  which 
the  usual  reply,  is,  '  My  poverty-struck  family  name  is 
so  and  so.'  Again  the  question  is  asked  respecting  the 
'  honourable  appellation,  the  exalted  age;  and  the  famous 
province'  of  the  stranger;  which  questions  are  replied  to 
by  applying  to  one's  self  the  epithets  '  ignoble,  short- 
lived, and  vulgar.'  *  *  *  '  Honourable  young  gen- 
tleman,' for  a  friend's  son;  and  '  the  thousand  pieces  of 
gold'  for  his  daughter,  are  usual  appellations;  while  the 
individual  replies  by  bestowing  the  epithets,  '  dog's  son,' 
and  '  female-slave'  on  his  own  offspring." — Medhurst's 
State  and  Prospects  of  China,  p.  1 00,